Getting married by mistake: the embarrassing wife of the cold-faced president

Chapter 1
I was so confused that I married myself.

To use a modern term, this is a flash marriage.This marriage of mine is even more bloody than those shocking TV dramas. It is completely shocking, weeping ghosts and gods, and people are caught off guard—even I myself am confused.

In retrospect, I just feel that it was unreal, unreal, as if it was a dream.

This matter has to be elaborated from the beginning.

Start with my blind date.

Why blind date?That's because I was forced to go to Liangshan by my mother and had to fight for righteousness.My mother, she is Lafayette Toshi, making an international call from the UK.

She said: "Su Lala——" Lafayette always called me by name, with a harsh tone, as if I was not a piece of meat that fell from her body, but an outcast picked up from the garbage dump: "Su Lala, I'm going back to China this fall."

I was terrified when I heard it, and asked tremblingly, "Why are you returning to China? Isn't Ye Luo returning to his roots?"

Lafayette scolded: "Bah, bah, crow's mouth! It's a dog's mouth that can't grow ivory! What kind of leaves are falling back to their roots? Bah, bah, it's nonsense! Your mother and I are beautiful in middle age, and the age when a branch of flowers blooms brilliantly. Ye Luo is far away from returning to his roots, spit and talk again!"

I had to spit.

Then he talked again: "Mom, why are you going back to China? Air tickets are so expensive, really! If you have money, why don't you send me the money to buy the air tickets, and send charcoal and warmth in the snow. Mom, I ask no. Gao, for the sake of me being a piece of meat that fell from your body, give me the money for a house! Damn, the rent in City C is too expensive, and one month’s rent is gone. One-fifth of my salary , what a joke!"

Lafayette said sonorously on the other end of the phone: "Okay! As long as you find a reliable man and successfully sell you, I will give you a house as a dowry."

I was immediately discouraged, and asked listlessly: "Then we have to wait until the year of the monkey?"

It’s okay not to say this, but Lafayette became furious when he mentioned it, and asked in a series of voices: "Surala, you are old and not young, why are you always alone? Where is your boyfriend? Why can't you always find him?"

I frown: "Hey, my boyfriend, he...he hasn't been born from his mother's belly yet." After I finished speaking, I sighed a long time.

Lafayette shouted: "Don't play this game with me!" She questioned: "Surala, are you ashamed?"

I blinked my eyes and pretended to be stupid: "I didn't kill anyone and I didn't set fire to it. What am I ashamed of?"

Lafayette hates iron, although you can't see the expression on her face, you can still imagine the ferocious appearance of her gnashing teeth, she said: "Surala, look at those female elementary school students in the county town There are daughters of three cousins ​​and uncles who are younger than you, who is not married? Who is not in a couple? Why are you so unbelievable, like leftovers in the vegetable market, no one wants? Don't make me return to China , I can’t straighten my back in front of relatives and friends, and I don’t have the confidence to speak!”

I was not very angry, and said "bah": "Mom, I really admire you. I have been married to the UK for so many years. I have stepped on the land of the British Commonwealth, breathed the air of the British Commonwealth, ate the food of the British Commonwealth, drank How can the water of the Commonwealth of Britain, sleeping with the men of the Commonwealth of Britain, remain unstained from the mud? It still maintains the ultra-pure feudal ideology of rural people with deep-rooted Chinese characteristics!"

"Su Lala, please speak clearly, I don't understand your insinuations." Lafayette was furious.

"Okay, okay, let me speak clearly, clearly." I said seriously: "Uh, what I mean is that in a small county town in the countryside, the sky is as big as the mouth of a well, life is backward, and thoughts are closed. , the people there are idle and have nothing to do, and the young love sinus has not yet bloomed to encourage the growth of seedlings, come to marry a man and a woman, and make the next generation as a toy when there is nothing to do. And City C is a provincial capital, internationalized Metropolis, do you understand? I am only 26 years old this year. In the eyes of others, I am still a little lolita. How can I marry someone else so early? Really."

"Your cousin Zuo Linlin lives with you in City C. She is only three years older than you, and her son is now over four years old! She can marry herself before the age of 24, but why are you 26? Can't you sell yourself?" Lafayette choked on me mercilessly.

"What's the difference between me and Zuo Linlin?" I'm not unreasonable.

"What's the difference between you and Zuo Linlin?" Lafayette asked.

I was confident and argued with reason: "Zuo Linlin's mother has good eyesight. Back then she chose a handsome guy to marry. Influenced by the genes of handsome men and beautiful women, Zuo Linlin turned out to be as beautiful as a flower, charming and charming, a natural beauty! And you were blind, and you found a trash man with an average appearance or even a little ugly to marry, and as a result, you gave birth to me... er, gave birth to me—" I puffed out my chest and grinned, "Anyway , gave me a bad birth, far from Zuo Linlin, okay! Zuo Linlin is a super beautiful woman who is loved by everyone, blooms when she sees flowers, and smiles when a man sees her, but I am not!"

Lafayette and I finally had a common language, sighed on the other end of the phone and said: "Hey, yes, Su Lala, you are indeed not as beautiful as Zuo Linlin."

"So!" I resentfully said, "Don't have nothing to do in the future, don't keep comparing me with Zuo Linlin, okay? This is very unfair to your daughter, understand?"

Lafayette probably felt that she herself had a great responsibility for not turning her daughter into a super-beautiful woman who everyone loves, flowers bloom when they see flowers, and men smile when they see them, so she feels ashamed.

Her voice softened: "Surala, even if you are not as beautiful as Zuo Linlin, but you are still a woman, and you are not too young, you should find a man and have a relationship, right? Su Lala, do you have yourself? A man you like?"

"Yes!" I said, "However, they don't care about me."

"Why don't people like you?" Lafayette asked, "Have you used the spirit of Yugong Yishan to pursue it?"

"It works." I said, "But it doesn't work."

"Why doesn't it work?" Lafayette asked again.

"I don't know." I replied.

"Who do you like?" Lafayette continued to ask, his tone was like Bao Gong's trial: "The man you like, what does he look like?"

"I like the only son of the owner of our magazine, a returnee who returned from studying in Australia, he likes to speak English, he's very foreign, he's so cool—" I said, "Uh, by the way, he looks like Jang Keun Suk. It’s just that this version of Jang Keun Suk has eyes on his forehead and never looks at me, which hurts me a lot.”

"Who is Jang Keun Suk?"

"A popular fried chicken in Korea."

"The popular fried chicken? What is that? Could it be edible?"

I have a generation gap with my mother.And there is a very deep generation gap, and there is no way to communicate with that kind of thing. I explained to her: "Being popular fried chicken is not something to eat, it is a very, very popular star."

"It turned out to be a Bangzi star." Lafayette suddenly realized, and she said again: "I don't like Bangzi."

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(End of this chapter)