half thorns, half joy

After Zhao Suizhi woke up, only she and the nanny were around.The originally noisy room suddenly became a little deserted.

She struggled to sit up, murmuring, "Where are the children, I'll go see the children."

The nanny quickly supported her, "Madam, young master Yuebai is reading in the study, and the baby is sleeping. Don't worry, I'll call you young master Yuebai."

"Wait." Zhao Suizhi waved his hand suddenly, "He likes to read, let him read more, don't disturb him."

After all, she lay back down again.

"Madam, are you thirsty, do you want some water?" the nanny asked.

Zhao Suizhi stared at the crystal chandelier on the ceiling, and did not answer the nanny's question. After a long time, she answered the wrong question and said, "Xiao Wang, if you were Tang Xuan, would you also hate me and our Xiao family. "

"This..." The nanny never expected to be asked such a question, and for a moment she didn't know how to answer it.

"I will definitely." Zhao Suizhi said to himself, "If I were Tang Xuan, I would definitely hate her."

Nanny: "..." As a servant, it's best not to talk about the rights and wrongs of the master, but now that Zhao Suizhi is talking, she can only listen obediently.

Zhao Suizhi sighed heavily, and his tone was very sad, "In this life, I don't expect Tang Xuan to forgive me, I don't. But..."

Her eyes were red, and tears filled her eyes instantly, "But, I don't want Yuebai to hate me too, my two good grandsons, I don't want them to hate me when they grow up."

The nanny listened quietly, not daring to express any opinion.She also knew that Zhao Suizhi just wanted to talk, not really want to hear any opinions.

"I'm sorry for Tang Xuan. I'm sorry for Susheng. I'm sorry for their whole family." Zhao Suizhi burst into tears, "I'm a sinner."

Seeing that Zhao Suizhi's words became extreme, the nanny quickly said: "Madam, don't say that, and don't think that way, the young master will be sad if you think so."

These words seemed to remind Zhao Suizhi, and Zhao Suizhi took a deep breath, "And Xiao Han, I am sorry for him too, I was with his father and got him involved. What a good child he is, if it wasn't for me With his dad, he can be happier and more relaxed. It's us who killed him."

The nanny rubbed her hands, not knowing what to do, whether to call Xiao Zihan, or to say something.

The situation in front of her was a bit tricky, which made her feel overwhelmed.

But fortunately Zhao Suizhi didn't say any more, she seemed overwhelmed and closed her eyes wearily.

The nanny looked at her, as if she could see an invisible mountain called guilt pressing on her body, which made her almost unable to breathe.

"You go out." Zhao Suizhi was silent for a moment, then said to the nanny.

The nanny couldn't refute, so she could only hum and back out.

After leaving Zhao Suizhi's bedroom, the nanny immediately went to Xiao Zihan's study, and reported to Xiao Zihan what Zhao Suizhi said just now.

After hearing this, Xiao Zihan put down the document in his hand and fell into deep thought.

He remembered what the doctor had said before. For Zhao Suizhi now, there is no medicine or treatment. The death of Tang Xuan's parents will be a hurdle she will never get over. It is impossible for Tang Xuan's parents to come back to life again. , it is impossible for her to forgive herself.

It is equivalent to saying that this emotion is unsolvable.The rest of Zhao Suizhi's life will be spent in endless self-blame and guilt.

"Master, do you want to comfort Madam?" the nanny asked nervously.

Xiao Zihan nodded, "I'll take care of it, you go ahead and do your work first. Remember, no matter when, don't leave her alone."

"Yes."

"Let's take care of her mainly during this time, and you can let go of other things."

"Yes."

"Go out."

"Yes."

After the nanny left, Xiao Zihan was silent for a long time, and reached out to flip through the calendar on the table. After flipping through a few pages, his eyes locked on the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month.

The next day, when Xiao Zihan was about to send the two children back to Tang Xuan's place, Zhao Suizhi looked extremely haggard.

Xiao Zihan was worried that her emotions would fluctuate and become abnormal again, so he could only give her hope: "Mom, take a good rest today, and I will pick them up tomorrow."

"I've had enough rest." Zhao Suizhi said with a sullen face.

Xiao Zihan knew that what he said was useless, so he winked at Xiao Yuebai who was beside him.

Xiao Yuebai understood, stepped forward and hugged Zhao Suizhi's knee, and touched Zhao Suizhi's forehead with the back of her hand like a little adult: "Grandma, are you dizzy today?"

Zhao Suizhi immediately beamed with joy, "Not dizzy, grandma is not dizzy."

"That's good." Xiao Yuebai pouted and said coquettishly: "If grandma faints again, I will feel very bad for the baby. I saw grandma fainted yesterday, and the baby didn't sleep well at night."

Zhao Suizhi was so guilty that he kept on reassuring his precious grandson: "Grandma won't faint. Grandma just didn't stand firm yesterday. She didn't really faint. Grandma is in such good health, how could she faint?"

Xiao Yuebai took advantage of the situation and said, "I knew grandma was in good health. Then grandma, you should take care of your health better. I'll check with my brother tomorrow, okay?"

"...Okay." Although he was very reluctant in his heart, this was said by his precious grandson, and Zhao Suizhi could only nod obediently.

Xiao Yuebai smiled with satisfaction, touched Zhao Suizhi's hand: "Grandma is awesome."

With Xiao Yuebai's words, Xiao Zihan took them away smoothly.Although Zhao Suizhi's face was still grim, his mood was stable at last, and he didn't react too much.

Sitting in the car going back, Xiao Zihan couldn't help but praise his son: "Honey, you did a great job."

Xiao Yuebai turned her head to look out of the window, said faintly: "Yes, I know."

Xiao Zihan was blocked for a moment, turned his head to look at Xiaoyuebai, and after talking for a while, he said again: "Baby, what book did you read today?"

Unexpectedly, Xiao Yuebai's answer this time made Xiao Zihan even more ashamed.

He said, "Father, don't talk for nothing."

Xiao Zihan: "..."

Now, he was really blocked.

After being helpless for a while, he smiled again. Xiao Yuebai's astonishing speech, he must tell Tang Xuan about it when he returns home, so that Tang Xuan will be happy too.

Xiao Zihan drove to the seaside villa. Because he had sent Tang Xuan a text message in advance, when he arrived, Tang Xuan was already waiting at the door.

"Are the two children making a fuss?" Tang Xuan asked Xiao Zihan as she picked up the baby.

Xiao Zihan glanced at Xiao Yuebai who had a frosty face, and raised his eyebrows.

Before being sued by her father, Xiao Yuebai first said: "Mom, I will leave it to you, I will go in and take a nap."

Tang Xuan let out an ah, and stared dumbfounded at Xiao Yuebai's back disappearing at the door.

"What's going on." After a while, she turned her head and asked Xiao Zihan.

Xiao Zihan sighed heavily, unable to laugh or cry, "Our eldest son, don't underestimate him."

"What's the matter?" Tang Xuan was confused.

"Go first." Xiao Zihan opened the trunk, picked up the daily necessities of the two treasures, and said to Tang Xuan.

After entering the room, Tang Xuan nearly rolled over on the sofa laughing after learning Xiao Yuebai's posture and words vividly.

She laughed so hard that she almost hiccupped: "You... You also have today."

After being held back by his son, Xiao Zihan couldn't return it, so he shrugged helplessly and laughed along with Tang Xuan.

Tang Xuan had had enough of laughing, and covered her aching belly and said, "Let's take Yuebai to the hospital for a check-up sooner or later. I think this little guy has an IQ of [-]. That's too smart."

Xiao Zihan agreed, "Okay, let's go after a while."

"Oh, I really don't know what kind of personality this little baby will have when he grows up." Tang Xuan looked down at the little baby who was eating from a bottle, full of longing.

"What character do you want him to be?"

"Me?" Tang Xuan thought for a while, "I think any personality is fine, but judging from his current appearance, he should be of the quiet type when he grows up. When he grows up, let him learn to play the piano. Or the violin."

Seeing that the atmosphere was good and Tang Xuan was in a good mood, Xiao Zihan pursed his lips and said something he thought of last night.

"Xiaoxuan..." He didn't speak smoothly, "My mother has always felt sorry for your family and your parents, so I want to take her to go to the grave in a few months until the [-]th of July..."

Before he could finish his sentence, Tang Xuan interrupted him neatly.

"No." Tang Xuan's expression also darkened.

Xiao Zihan wanted to say a few more words, but seeing Tang Xuan's firm attitude, he had no choice but to shelve this idea for now.

He lowered his eyes, looking a bit sad, "If you don't agree, forget it."

Tang Xuan answered anxiously just now, almost blurting it out, but now that she saw Xiao Zihan's avoiding gaze, she regretted it a little.

But the words have already been spoken, and they can't be taken back, and she really doesn't want Zhao Suizhi to go to his parents' graves to pay homage.

Immediately, the atmosphere became awkward, and the two fell silent at the same time.

Xiao Zihan actually guessed that Tang Xuan would reject her before he made this request, and also guessed that Tang Xuan would be unhappy.But even so, he couldn't help but say it.

because……

"Mom...my mother has been very depressed recently, and her emotions have been on the verge of collapse." Xiao Zihan stared down at his knees, and said in a heavy voice, "The doctor said that if she continues like this, she may have mental problems."

Xiao Zihan didn't want to kidnap Tang Xuan morally, and he didn't want to sell miserably, so he didn't tell the truth. In fact, Zhao Suizhi's spirit had gone wrong.

Tang Xuan gritted her teeth after hearing this.

The bits and pieces of getting along with Zhao Suizhi before flooded into her heart, and she was suddenly sad and angry.

She understands being sad, but she doesn't even understand what she is angry about.

Could it be that he was angry at Zhao Suizhi's hypocrisy?
Or, was she angry at her own heartlessness?
Tang Xuan couldn't take it anymore, she was about to tell Xiao Zihan to leave when Huang Tingting came out of the bedroom suddenly covering her head.

"Xiaoxuan..."