half thorns, half joy

A week later, Zhao Suizhi passed away.

Xiao Zihan couldn't cry anymore, every late night when he slept on a folding bed in the hospital corridor, he couldn't help crying.

This empty, silent corridor full of the smell of disinfectant has become a place where he can show his vulnerability as a man, a man who needs to protect his family and stand upright.

In the past, Xiao Zihan read in a book and saw that "the fear is not death, but waiting for death". He didn't understand this sentence before, but now he understands it.

Waiting is the worst tormenting thing in this world.

No matter how many experts consulted and how expensive medicinal materials and equipment were used, Zhao Suizhi could not be rescued after all.

And because she stayed in the intensive care unit, when she finally left, Tang Xuan and Xiao Yuebai didn't have time to see each other for the last time.

Tang Xuan would always remember in her life that she was holding the baby, and Xiao Yuebai was by her side. The three of them rushed to the hospital and saw Xiao Zihan sitting on a bench like a soulless person.

"Zihan, what about mom?" Tang Xuan asked in fear.

Xiao Zihan's tears rolled down his face at that moment. While crying, he looked into Tang Xuan's eyes with a wry smile: "Xiao Xuan, I will be like you from now on, without parents."

Tang Xuan's eyes widened, and then she also cried.

In the face of extreme sorrow, all education has no effect, and the only thing people can do is to cry.

The little baby didn't understand why mom and dad were crying, but was affected by mom and dad's emotions, and cried too loudly. Because he didn't understand anything, he cried the loudest.

Only Xiao Yuebai didn't cry, he bit his lips tightly, thinking over and over again what his parents said in his little head.

He seemed to have guessed what it meant, but he didn't dare to believe it, he didn't want to believe it.

For him, what is death? He hasn't learned the word yet, and hasn't fully understood it yet.

He didn't dare to cry, he was afraid that if he cried like his parents and younger brother, what he was afraid of would come true.

So he bit his lips tightly and endured the pain.

Zhao Suizhi's funeral was held in a grand manner, those who should have come and those who should not have come, both familiar and unfamiliar people have come.

It wasn't Xiao Zihan's original intention, it was just a request from his mother's family. Xiao Zihan didn't know how to refuse, so he agreed.

Come to think of it, someone like my mother who likes to be lively should not refuse.

It's just that the more people come, the more people need to socialize. No matter how reluctant Xiao Zihan is, he must cheer up, hold out his chest, and do the last thing related to his mother well.

"Zihan has lost weight." Cai Jinyu, who was wearing a black suit, walked up to Tang Xuan and said softly.

Tang Xuan's eyes followed Xiao Zihan who was chatting with relatives and friends, and her voice was hoarse: "During the time his mother had an accident, he has lost more than ten catties. Look at the shirt under his suit, it doesn't fit anymore."

"Hey." Cai Jinyu sighed heavily, "Aunt Zhao left so suddenly, so suddenly that no one thought about it, it was because it was too sudden, so Zihan couldn't accept it."

"It's not only that he can't accept it, I still can't believe it. A good-looking person, no matter how you say it, he will be gone. Sometimes when I go home, I sit on the sofa in the living room, and I often have illusions. She will appear on the stairs in seconds, greet me and ask me what I have for afternoon tea."

Tang Xuan's eyes were misty, and her face, which was not made up, turned red because of her excitement.

Cai Jinyu looked at Tang Xuan sadly, and asked after a while, "Don't you hate Aunt Zhao?"

After going through so many things, Cai Jinyu also knew that Tang Xuan's parents were killed in a car accident because of Zhao Suizhi and Xiao Mingyuan.

"Hate?" Tang Xuan shook her head, "I've stopped hating her a long time ago. From the moment she stepped forward to protect Yuebai, I stopped hating her."

To this day, standing at this memorial service, Tang Xuan can still clearly replay all the details of that time before her eyes.

Even, like an elongated movie shot, slowed down and slowed down again, every movement and every expression can be vividly remembered.

Tang Xuan smiled wryly, "She's not a bad person. Really, she's not a bad person. Bad people don't care about their own lives for the sake of others. If you have to say it, you can only say that she is also a poor person. Poor woman played by fate. All her fault is to marry a cruel husband."

Cai Jinyu continued, "But she also gave birth to Zihan with that so-called ruthless husband, Zihan you love so much. If she didn't marry Uncle Xiao, there would be no Zihan."

"That's right." Tang Xuan looked up at the sky, not letting her tears fall, "So all of this is fate, a destiny that we cannot change."

"Then do you still hate Uncle Xiao?" Cai Jinyu continued to ask.

This time, Chu Wan'er neither nodded nor shook her head.She didn't answer the question.

Cai Jinyu didn't ask any more questions. He turned his gaze away from Tang Xuan and precisely cast his eyes on the firm and sad figure in the crowd.

He asked Tang Xuan tenderly and helplessly: "No matter what, Zihan did nothing wrong from the beginning to the end. You are a victim, and so is Zihan. He is even more painful than you, because he can't Like you, it is reasonable to hate Uncle Xiao."

Tang Xuan remained silent. She knew what Cai Jinyu said.

But knowing and being able to persuade yourself to let go are two different things.

"So, take it as me begging you, forgive Uncle Xiao, and let go of the past."

It took a full 3 minutes before Cai Jinyu saw Tang Xuan shaking her head.

"No." Tang Xuan turned her head, looking straight into Cai Jinyu's heart with her red eyes, "I will never forgive Xiao Mingyuan in my life, never will. He killed my parents, my cousin, and killed me. With so many dead, people like him don't need to be forgiven, and can't be forgiven."

"But Zihan..."

"But I will learn to let go of the past." Tang Xuan took a deep breath, "Mom has already paid the price with her life for Yuebai. Before he died, when he returned to the light, he only said three words, do you know which three words they were?"

Cai Jinyu was curious: "Which three words?"

Tang Xuan closed her eyes before slowly saying, "I'm sorry, the three words Mom said before she died were sorry. Zihan said that she said it to me, because she didn't have time to say my name, so she could only Difficult to say these three words."

Cai Jinyu was shocked, and after a while, his eyes were also red.

"I want to save Yuebai's love for her, for these three words, for Zihan. I will learn to let go of the past, I will learn to let go of hatred. But this is my limit, I don't have to. Hate, but I can't forgive, you understand?"

Cai Jinyu nodded heavily, "Understood."

"Thank you."

Cai Jinyu noticed that Tang Xuan had lost a lot of weight after not seeing her for a few days. His heart softened and he said softly, "I'm sorry, but I'm an outsider. It's really embarrassing for you to ask for your forgiveness."

"It's okay, you think of Zihan as a good friend and me as a good friend, that's why you said that. Thank you for always being by Zihan's side." Tang Xuan wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes, grateful He glanced at Cai Jinyu.

Those who left have already left, and she must cherish the rest.

She must cherish it.

Especially Xiao Zihan, the two children they raised together, the past is dark and untraceable, but she hopes that their future will be bright and splendid.