A deep love: Thousands of stars are not as good as you

Waiting is undoubtedly the most difficult process.

It will wear out all your patience over time.At that moment, I seemed to feel that I was the only one left in the whole world, alone and living in pain.

When Uncle An and the others came, I was still trapped in my own world, repeating the three words I'm sorry.As if just speaking out would make my conscience feel better.

My heart seemed to be crushed by something, and it hurt so badly that I couldn't breathe.

The feeling of being swallowed by despair is like falling into an endless abyss with no end in sight and no way out.

I listened to Aunt Ren's crying and Uncle An's anxious pacing, the sounds were ear-piercing.

I sat on the cold ground with my knees hugged, filled with sadness, and lost all consciousness.

The hand holding the household registration book also became numb from holding the same position for a long time, and could not move.

Mu Yuan came over and said the first words since An Jinnian was sent to the emergency room, "Don't worry, Jinnian will be fine."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, "It's all my fault, it's my fault."

I hit the back of my head against the cold wall angrily, as if I couldn't feel any pain, I clicked.

The red light at the entrance of the emergency room was still on, and there was no news about An Jinnian inside.Whether the situation is good or bad is unknown.

Mu Yuan patted my shoulder, comforted me and said, "Lin Xi, be sober, you should trust Jinnian, he will be fine."

I tried my best to squeeze out a desolate smile, responding to Mu Yuan's words.

Do you believe it? Now, what should I believe.

Almost a full day has passed since An Jinnian entered the emergency room.The light outside the house changed from bright to dark, and then from dark to bright, and the temperature difference between day and night was also changing slowly.

However, only the red light in the emergency room has not changed from beginning to end.

It is like a string pulling us all, for fear that if we are not careful, it will be broken forever.

When An Jinnian was pushed out of the emergency room, I leaned against the doorway, watching in a daze, and lost all the reactions that a normal person should have.

As if he had experienced that scene countless times, seeing An Jinnian's body full of thin tubes countless times, his heart felt unavoidable again, densely packed, like needle pricks.

I dare not think about how he survived all these years.Does it mean that every time he enters the emergency room, he will wander on the edge of life and death like he is now.

At that moment, how sad I was, it shows how much my heart hurts.

I watched as Mu Yuan and the others swarmed up, surrounded An Jinnian, and then pushed the hospital bed away.

I was the only one who stood there motionless, but broke down and cried after all of them left.

Everything happened so unexpectedly, it was like a dream.

I thought that my dream was about to come true, but I never thought that I would be beaten back to my original shape in a blink of an eye.

Endless fears rushed towards me, I struggled and roared to break free from all this, but there was nothing I could do.

Xu Yan came after hearing the news, and found me at the door of the empty emergency room. Her voice was choked up, her tone was urgent, and she seemed to be more sad than me, "Lin Xi, are you okay?"

I whimpered and shook my head, looked at her with eyes swollen from crying, and said in a hoarse voice, "Xu Yan, it's my fault, I shouldn't have forced him..."

Xu Yan knelt down, hugged me slowly, and comforted me, "Don't worry, no one blames you."

"But I blame myself..."

"Lin Xi, everyone has their own destiny, and you can't force what you can't get. An Jinnian is running out of time, so just let him go..." Xu Yan lowered her voice and persuaded.

I lay on her shoulder, "I can't let go, Xu Yan, I can't let him go..."

I have waited for him for so many years, if I really want to let him go, why should I wait until now.

"But, Lin Xi, you still have a long way to go, can you be more sober. Alan said that An Jinnian won't make it through this month."

"You're talking nonsense, he won't leave me, he said he would love me forever."

"But the facts are right in front of you, Lin Xi, you can't just ignore yourself and your uncles and aunts just because An Jinnian won't live until tomorrow."

Can't survive tomorrow?

I stopped all movements in a daze, even forgot to cry, forgot to refute.

It took me a long time to break free from Xu Yan's shackles, get up from the ground, and stumbled out of the hospital.

Only Xu Yan shouted anxiously behind her, "Lin Xi, Lin Xi..."

When all hope is on the verge of being crushed, I don't know what else I can do.

The emotions wrapped in despair also lost all reason.

Suddenly, it rained heavily in the sky. I was walking in the rain, but I couldn't feel the slightest bit of coldness.

I was like a lonely ghost wandering in the sky, lost and lost.

I don't even know what I'm doing or where to go.

In a daze, I seemed to see the big characters of Jiangzhou University, so I rushed in regardless of the guard's obstruction.

Once again, I came to the place where I met An Jin for the first time, on the runway of Jiangzhou University.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier. I stood in the rain, staring at the direction of the girls' dormitory building with blurred vision, and I was crazy.

For the first time, there was an illusion in my heart that seemed like a world away.It seemed that meeting An Jinnian had already happened in the last lifetime.

Before we knew it, we had already experienced so many things, from the beginning to the end.

Once, I always thought that meeting An Jinnian was the most beautiful dream I ever had.Because, in the dream, he loves me to the bone and holds me in his heart.

After going around for so many years, our ending has not been rewritten.

But, An Jinnian, how do you want me to give up the heart that has loved you for many years.

I have devoted my whole life, willing to use my whole youth to continue writing love, but I can't get you to stay for a moment.

For a moment, I thought, if I knew this would be the case, I would rather time stay forever on the day you left.In that way, maybe I will choose to let go after years of waiting to no avail.

But, you came back, broke into my sight again, entered my life, but made me untouchable...

I don't know how long I stood on the runway, but I felt powerless and limp on the ground, my whole body was numb.

Just at this moment, the mobile phone in my pocket rang, and I opened my eyes, my head was in a daze.

The bell kept ringing, mixed with the sound of water entering.I moved my fingers a little soberly, and took out the phone from my pocket stiffly.

"Hey……"

"Lin Xi, where are you?" Xu Yan's surprised and delighted voice came from the phone, she kept asking "Where are you, Lin Xi..."

I opened my mouth and was about to answer, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I leaned to the side and fell heavily.

The phone fell from his hand to the ground, and the rain fell on the screen of the phone.

I moved my fingers desperately, but the faintness in my head hit me for a moment, and my consciousness became more and more blurred. I only heard Xu Yan's voice faintly coming from the phone, she said, "I found the matching bone marrow, Lin Xi ,found it……"

I twitched the corners of my mouth as if aware of it, and passed out.

When I woke up again, I was in the hospital.

My parents stood by the hospital bed and looked at me worriedly. When they saw me wake up, they called out in unison, "Xiao Xi..."

I opened my mouth and wanted to speak, but found that my throat was so painful that I couldn't make any sound.The feeling of powerlessness all over my body frightened me even more.

Xu Yan came over with a glass of water, and said, "Wake up, I can stand you, it rained so heavily, and I ran to Jiangzhou University alone in the rain. If it weren't for An Jinnian's mobile phone with your mobile phone location, our big family I still don't know where to find you!"

After she finished speaking, she shook the cup in her hand, and with the help of her parents, she fed me a sip of water.

At the end, she went on to say, "An Jinnian is saved. When you left, a little guy came to make a match. The matching rate was 90.00% [-], almost [-]%. Allen said, wait for An Jinnian to rest." In two days, the formalities can be prepared."

I couldn't recover from the surprise that fell from the sky, I stared blankly at her, and asked in a voice that I couldn't make a sound, "Really...really..."

Xu Yanying smiled and replied, "Really, if you don't believe me, you can ask your uncle or aunt."

I looked sideways at my parents and asked with my eyes.

Mom and Dad smiled at each other and nodded at the same time.

The sudden surprise made my blood surge and I coughed again and again.

The pessimism that has been dragging my emotions for the past few days has also improved at this moment.

Xu Yan tugged at my ear, "You! Fortunately, An Jinnian didn't die. Otherwise, in my opinion, An Jinnian didn't die, but you should die soon."

He raised his eyebrows and glared at her angrily.

If it wasn't that he couldn't speak now, otherwise, he would definitely have a good war of words with Xu Yan.

Perhaps after receiving the good news, the stone hanging in my heart was finally let go.After waking up for less than an hour, after watching Xu Yan muttering endlessly for a long time, she finally couldn't bear the heavy double eyelids and fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up again, it was already noon of the second day.

Parents were away, only Xu Yan was left crouching on the coffee table to process a bunch of documents.

It seemed that she must have slept in the hospital as an escort.

My heart skipped a beat for no reason, I was inexplicably moved.

I forced myself to sit up from the bed, stretched my waist, and greeted "Xu Yan..." There seemed to be a trace of old charm in the voice, hoarse and ugly.

Xu Yan raised her head and looked at me upon hearing the sound, "Are you awake?"

I nodded, struggling to get off the ground.

Xu Yan hurriedly stopped her, "You'd better lie down first, and Lin Yi will deliver the food later, and you can eat before going to the ground."

"Why." I lay back unwillingly.

In fact, the bottom of my heart has already become a mess of porridge.

When he left yesterday, An Jinnian was still lying on the hospital bed, and his personnel were unknown.Although I learned from Xu Yan later that he was fine, but I still can't feel relieved until I witness it with my own eyes.

What is even more frightening is that Xu Yan casually lied because she was afraid that something would happen to me.

Xu Yan seemed to see through what I was thinking, and said clearly, "Don't worry, I don't need to lie to you, besides, uncles and aunts have all nodded and admitted, so why don't you worry about it. Even if you don't believe me, you should trust uncles and aunts, right?" .”

I was dumbfounded and wanted to argue "but..."

Xu Yan's movement of flipping through the documents in her hand quickened, and she interrupted, "But what, what's the matter. It's not that I don't want you to go see An Jinnian, I just let you go after dinner, it makes you anxious, really In response to that sentence, if you have a man, you forget your best friend..."