my youth love story no problem

(I am very satisfied with this chapter... It would be great if there is an artist who can help to draw plot illustrations. It is a pity that professional ones are too expensive orz)

My dream is to be a true solitary hermit.

This is not a sophomore dream of a high school student, nor is it a blow after being traumatized, but a real behavior.

Jielu is in a human environment, without the noise of cars and horses.Ask the king how can you, the heart is far away from the side.

This is the state of mind of a hermit.

Whether it is loneliness, whether it is behavior, or thought.I thought I had created something, but when I checked the information, I found that someone had already listed a series of methods on it.This kind of blow should have been cruel, but I don't know why when I looked at those words, I felt a sense of relaxation.

I am a hermit.

The small hermit hides in the wild, the middle hermit hides in the world, and the great hermit hides in the court.

If I have to say it, the school is also a small social group, and it is not wrong for me to hide in it.

Maintain an elegant and proud state of mind, observe every move of the people next to you with a unique perspective, and then analyze and organize it into your own things.No matter what is happening around you or what you see, it will not affect your thoughts.

No matter what happens, I will remain proud, and no matter what, I will continue to be alone.There is no harm if no one is able to understand, and there is no communication without harm.Although it is not the same as the ancients, this is my way.

This is the life I want.

For this kind of life, I am full of longing.

I don't need anything that interferes with this kind of life, that makes me hope for others, that makes me try to get out of the original shadow.

I don't have the cute and pitiful idea that loneliness is the enemy of the whole world.Because I have really walked into loneliness and willingly indulged in the shadows, I know it.I know better than anyone the nature of loneliness.Loneliness does not mean that the world is against you, real loneliness means that you have decided to give up the whole world alone.This is the essence of loneliness.

This world is full of good intentions, but also full of evil.The so-called malice and goodwill are entangled, so there is no absolute wrong, and there is no absolute kindness.I can't change the world, but I can change myself.

So I am alone.Abandoning the world, giving up thoughts, and using oneself as a fortress of loneliness.

"Yubihama."

Now that you have made a good decision, you will not back down.

Now that you have awareness, you will no longer be confused.

So keep a distance.I don't know Yuigahama's feelings, but I know mine.

I'm shaken, and I've already started to feel anticipation, and I've already developed warm feelings for seeing Yuigahama's appearance day after day.This is not good, this is not what I need, I don't need these, so separate.

...Although this is just an excuse.

"Although I am very happy that you can give me biscuits, I really can't eat them hard."

I deliberately put on a nonchalant expression on my face. If I were a bystander, I would definitely hit this person in the face.

But the one doing this right now is me.So everything is my fault.

I'm the worst kind of person.

"It's too dry, and it doesn't look good. I just finished lunch, so I'm a little worried about my side."

"Eh? Yes, is that so? I think I did a good job this time. It's rare to say with confidence..."

There was a bit of embarrassment on his face, Yubihama withdrew his palm with a sneer, with a puzzled look on his face.

In all fairness, the biscuits I made this time are really good. Although the color looks a little weird, it is much stronger than when she first made it.The news that she likes to cook is not fake, but she is really serious and studying hard.You can tell how hard she worked just by looking at this cookie.And I believe that the taste of this biscuit is definitely not bad, because she likes sugar very much, so it must be very sweet.It has a creamy and gentle sweetness like honey.Let people aftertaste.

Of course I know this kind of thing, and it can even be said that no one knows it better than me.For as long as a week, she has been trying to contact me at my home.I know better than anyone the process of what was originally unbearable, gradually became tasteful, and then turned into something that can be called delicious now.Because I am responsible for the raw materials, and I am also responsible for packing, so I know.

"Illusion, people always have illusions. You think it's delicious, but it doesn't mean that others think it's delicious, at least for me, I can't stand it."

"Hey—don't say that, she's working hard too..."

I know better than anyone how good this girl Yubihama Yui is.I also know better than anyone how the brilliance contained in this girl Yuigahama Yui shines.The dazzling light was the same as that of Yukinoshita.

If what happened to Yukinoshita terrified me, then Yuigahama made me feel guilty.

After all, I am a person who aspires to be a hermit, so it is enough to erase my own existence little by little.

Although the meaning of a hermit originally means inner purity and elegance, it has nothing to do with interpersonal relationships.But I'm not that level of existence yet, and I can't reach that kind of haughty state of mind.Even the me in that dream is impossible to achieve.So I can only use this clumsy means to keep myself clean.

So I'm the worst person, bar none.

"Effort does not mean that it is effective. If hard work can affirm everything, then there will be no disputes in this world long ago. Wouldn't it be good if everyone worked hard together? In short, I will leave first, and I will have time to talk slowly later. "

"Eh? Eh? Wait a minute, today's Xiaoqi is very strange, isn't it?"

"Really? I think I've always been like this."

"Small...enterprise?"

' So goodbye. ' Saying so, he lowered his head and waved to Yuigahama.Gently withdrawing her wrist, she put on a defensive look, deliberately not looking at her stunned and sad face, turned and walked in the direction of her class.

Everything is my fault.

It is I who proudly started this so-called Ministry of Service, and used this Ministry of Service to distort other people's lives.Their behavior, style, and thoughts will all change according to my existence.Because I am a rotten person, a person who does not exist, and a person who will lower my evaluation even if we are together. This point has been proved in junior high school.

So I am abnormal.

The only way to face the existence of anomalies is to isolate one.

Then just gradually use indifference and camouflage to separate the distance.Re-establish good walls and relationships so that's it.

I can be alone again, and Yukinoshita and Yuigahama will shine as brightly as ever.Drop a drop of sewage into a wine barrel, and that barrel of wine is also sewage.Drop a drop of wine into a bucket of sewage, and the sewage will not turn into wine.

So it is normal for the sewage to choose to leave alone for the sake of others, even though the sewage does not want to hurt the wine so much.As long as it exists, it will stain what was shining with impurities.And if such impurities appear in a group, others will inevitably make irresponsible remarks.This behavior is the most normal choice of human beings.

So the sewage chose to break up.

Although my heart hurts, hearing her voice makes my heart throb, but I can't help it.

Because the two existences of sewage and fine wine can never be mixed.

Because, I am redundant.