Maybe I can't have a normal youth

Chapter 806
So Zhao Bai'an told himself that no one can shake her determination now.

After thinking about it this way, Zhao Bai'an slowly stood up from the ground, without leaving any words behind, just like that, he left his parents' side, walked to the other side of the small bed that had been messed up by her, and directly He lifted the quilt and hid in the bed.

Seeing her current state, the parents on the side understood that it was a rejection attitude. They could only look at each other, and then they both left.

The surroundings were quiet again, but Zhao Bai'an, who was under the blanket, couldn't calm down.

For her, everything just now was like a movie slideshow, it was really difficult to digest quickly, and after the disturbing thoughts that were in front of her eyes drifted away, the images of these days were clearly reflected in her mind.

She felt like her heart was being roasted in the fire, there was no way out, and there was no way out, only a feeling of suffocation and going crazy.

But some feelings are not as good as Moriyama's eyes.

This seems to have become a habit, her own habit.

When Zhao Bai'an was full of difficulties and couldn't persevere, as long as he thought of Mori Shan's resolute face and persistent words, his heart would be filled with strength.Then she will re-examine herself, and instantly increase her confidence in her heart.

Afterwards, she had a feeling of facing death as if she were going to the battlefield.

In the next few days, Zhao Bai'an continued to repeat her life as usual. Although she was muddled every day, she persevered every day.

This is a very chaotic time, a time of constant fighting and confrontation.Fight yourself, fight others, fight the present and the future.

Zhao Bai'an was under tremendous pressure every day, but she never flinched for a moment, even if there was a moment of unsteadiness in her will, it was only fleeting.

Looking at herself, she found that she really liked Moriyama very much, and even liked him even more than before.

And Morishan was even more inseparable to Zhao Bai'an under the environment of great pressure. The two looked at each other, and through each other's eyes, they both saw a deep love. Respect and adore each other.

They completely ignored the rumors and gossips from the outside world, just embraced each other like this, and cherished each other.

Mori Shan, who was originally cold and manic, has gradually improved his temper a lot because of the presence of Zhao Bai'an, and he doesn't have so many outward stabs.He even said that he would take the initiative to make Zhao Baian happy, and he was changing unconsciously.

Although the two of them are living in the bushes of thorns, they are isolated and proud, unaffected by the surroundings, and insist on themselves.At the same time, they also understand each other and support each other in each other's feelings.

Gradually, the two people became an inseparable part of each other, just like the story said, smashing the two clay figurines and reshaping one you and one me.There is me in you, and you in me, and each other has become a part of their lives.

For them, the precipitation of feelings in front of them is like bringing them to the paradise in each other's hearts, and the two people have different feelings and situations in this paradise.

For Zhao Bai'an, apart from Moriyama, she has never encountered anything that she loves so much and is so desperate.

And for Mori Shan, Zhao Bai'an is also a very special one.When he is with Zhao Bai'an, he will be very happy and sweep away his troubles, and he will be gentle and relaxed.So no matter how great the external pressure is, he still wants to keep Zhao Bai'an. He even secretly swears in his heart that as long as the other party doesn't let go, he will never let go of the other party.

The same is true for Zhao Bai'an, for her, Moriyama has become all her emotional support; all her heart beats; all her happiness and feeling of being alive.She will never give up on Moriyama.

Although the two of them didn't have any discussions about this, they tacitly didn't want to give up on each other.

But this does not mean that they will give up their business. Although they are immersed in the vortex of emotions, their attitudes towards learning from each other are not slack.

The two agreed with each other that they must show their best results.To prove to the world that they are wrong.

Therefore, in their spare time, the two of them will often be together to learn from each other's strengths and make up for their weaknesses, making final preparations for the next senior high school entrance examination.

Even so, the two of them would naturally not have purity, and the external pressure was still overwhelming.Especially Moriyama, under such a huge academic pressure, his mother still tested him, and at the same time, all the teachers in the school also put him under great pressure.

At the same time, he also learned of the pressure on Zhao Bai'an's side while being extremely anxious. He even knew what the chemistry teacher did at that time.Moriyama really blamed himself for this, but also felt very distressed.

He felt deeply guilty, and felt that he had failed to protect Zhao Bai'an, and he even had doubts about himself.

I don't know when a crack appeared in the unwavering relationship from the beginning until now.

No one found the crack, so no one repaired it, and then it became bigger and bigger.

Moriyama began to lose confidence more and more, and he also felt uncomfortable that he didn't have such a strong ability.

He was really uncomfortable, uncomfortable that he couldn't breathe, uncomfortable that he couldn't control himself, and he would have hallucinations from time to time.To hear blame without blame, to see a false future without going to the future.He couldn't even fall asleep every day, and even during his short sleep, every moment was full of seeing Zhao Bai'an hiding and crying, even though she wasn't by his side.

Analyzing his own state, Moriyama knew that the depression he had been suppressed had already struck again, and before he knew it, the hallucinations in front of him were getting worse.

At the end, his auditory hallucinations became more and more abundant. He heard Zhao Bai'an whispering in his own ear that he was unable to protect her well.

I made Zhao Bai'an suffer too much discussion and criticism, and one day Zhao Bai'an will leave me.Moriyama believes in such a future more and more.

He gradually sank emotionally in this inexplicable prediction every day, and finally, in a trance, he had the idea of ​​committing suicide.

Without knowing it, he would pick up the knife and cut towards his wrist.

And every time the blood flowed out, he would realize that he seemed to have done something wrong.

Then he would end his self-imposed exile and silently re-bandage his wounds.

(End of this chapter)