I'm Kaka Kaka

Chapter 564 Some people hate Messi, some people hate Ronaldo, but everyone loves Kaka

"Aspen": "The fans at White Hart Lane were fortunate to witness the birth of a miracle.

In Real Madrid's Champions League quarter-final against Tottenham, Kaka, who came on as a substitute, miraculously scored 9 goals in 5 minutes, setting a number of Champions League records.

第49分21秒上场，第49分30秒打进第一个进球，50分53秒第二个进球，53分14秒任意球破门，上演欧冠最快帽子戏法纪录。

At 55 minutes and 50 seconds, the heel scored, the fastest big four in the Champions League.

At 58 minutes and 12 seconds, the fifth goal was scored, and the fastest five sons of the Champions League were admitted.

Both Mourinho and Zidane looked unbelievable on the sidelines, and such a god-like performance has never been seen even in a weak-to-strong match with disparity in strength. "

"L'Equipe": Let us look at the miracle on the pitch.

Brazilian goalkeeper Rogerio Cheney scored 132 goals in his career as a goalkeeper, including 62 direct free kicks. In addition, Ceny scored 2005 goals in a natural year in 21. performance of the ball;

As a famous court gentleman, Lineker has played 460 club games and 81 national team games in his entire career, but in this total of 541 games, he has never received a card-whether it is yellow or red ;

Bidua, a Colombian nationality, started his career in 1995 and ended in 2015. He is a midfielder. He has participated in a total of 601 games in his career. On average, he will be sent off once in 13 games. The number of red cards is as high as 46. No one has surpassed him so far, so that everyone thinks that he is not a football player, but a thug of drug dealers;
If you think Bidua is the biggest villain in football history, Kevin Musquet will definitely have a different opinion-in his nearly 20-year career playing for England and Australian teams, the Australian international has received 123 yellow cards and 12 red cards.As the saying goes: "I'm here to play football, and I'm here to kick people. But mainly I'm here to kick people." That's what he said...

Fontaine's record of scoring 13 goals in a single World Cup is considered unsurpassable, but Kaka directly raised this record to an incredible 17 goals in the last World Cup, and it seems that he has to rely on himself to break it;
Before the appearance of Kaka, most of the holders of many goals records in world football were Gerd Muller. Among them was the annual scoring record: in 1972, Muller created the miracle of scoring 85 goals in the year.This record has been maintained for 39 years. Originally, Kaka was the most promising one to break last year, but he "only" scored 2010 goals in the cross-league + Champions League + national team in 78, surpassing Pele's 73 goals and ranking behind Muller's 85 goals and Jimmy Jones' 80 goals;
There is also a very outrageous record that belongs to Beckham: on October 2001, 10, at the Old Trafford Dream Theater, England 6-2 Greece in the World Cup qualifier... well, I don't want to say that he is the savior Free kick, I want to say that in the 2 minutes of that game, he ran a distance of 90km. If you don’t know what this number represents, then I can only tell you that as long as there is one player who can Running 16.1KM or 12KM in a race is already considered a non-human performance...

The above records are probably the limit that human beings can achieve in the sport of football, but compared with the miracle that Kaka just created, all of this seems to have become a child's play: the quarter-finals of the Champions League, one of the most gold-rich and competitive matches in European football and even world football, but Kaka scored five goals in 9 minutes, 8 minutes and 51 seconds to be precise (from playing to scoring the last goal).

Do you think I'm joking?

Yes, Kaka played a joke on all of us.

I can only say that God suddenly became interested on this day, and played a 9-minute football game with Kaka controlled by his custom-made controller. "

"French Football": In terms of plot, McGrady chased for 35 points in 13 seconds when the Rockets were behind, and finally overtook the lore. What he created was a miracle of the same magnitude as Kaka, but in terms of difficulty, the difficulty of 9 goals in 5 minutes in a top football game is much more terrifying than that of McGrady in 35 seconds and 13 minutes...

What is the concept of 9 goals in 5 minutes?
准确来说卡卡是在8分51秒，也就是531秒中打入了5球，平均下来不到107秒进1球。

In a matchup like Real Madrid VS Tottenham, almost 107 passes can be completed in 23 seconds, that is, each side attacks once, and Kaka seized all the offensive opportunities in these 9 minutes.

We can no longer describe the magic of these 9 minutes in words. Kaka stunned his coach, his teammates and opponents, the audience and the whole world.

"Guardian. Sports Edition": Let us see how other people say.

Former teammate Torres: "Hahahahahaha, sorry, I didn't watch that game, because I knew Real Madrid would definitely win and Kaka would definitely score when he played, but I haven't seen such a performance in my life-if I had it in my previous life, I definitely haven't seen it."

Mike Newell, the previous holder of the fastest hat-trick record (9 minutes) in the Champions League, also congratulated Kaka: "Congratulations Kaka, you are the number one in the world and the number one in history. Only you deserve this honor."

Kobe Bryant: "@Kaka: Hey bro, 9 goals in 5 minutes, do you want to come to the NBA? Come on, the Lakers welcome you."

Yao Ming: "@卡卡，@科比: Kaka wants to play basketball, of course he comes to the Rockets. Lakers, please queue up, OK?"

McGrady: "Which is more deadly between the McGrady moment and the Kaka moment? This is an unanswered question. I only know that Kaka, like me, has accomplished a miracle that cannot be replicated. We are equally great."

Ancelotti: "Can you stop asking me about Kaka, at least he hasn't been my player for the past three years... He scored five goals in 9 minutes? Was it a friendly match against the Chinese team? The Champions League? Are you fucking kidding me? Today is April Fool's Day?"

Messi: "This is Kaka, this is really what he can do."

Ronaldo: "Kaka must thank me, because I didn't play. As soon as I was on the court, he couldn't help passing the ball to me. Then this record may be mine. Hahaha, yes, he must be a treat tonight."

Guardiola: "Hearing this kind of news before the game against Real Madrid really makes people unhappy, but I can only rejoice that Kaka did not complete this incredible performance in the game against Barcelona..."

Yes, El Clásico is at it again.

Few games have inflamed fans more than Barça-Real Madrid.

April 4, the 16nd round of La Liga, Real Madrid VS Barcelona;

On April 4, the Copa del Rey final will be Real Madrid VS Barcelona.

Two contests within four days, if they can reach the Champions League final at the same time, it will be three games within 43 days.

This kind of density makes everyone's expectations reach an unbearable level. To some extent, this is like the NBA playoffs, and the two teams will have a series of fierce battles in a row.

The first to be pushed to the cusp was originally Kaka who had just become the Ninth Five-Year Supreme, but Mourinho used his unique method to complete the protection of Kaka.

At the press conference before the match, Mu Niao didn't say a word, and the assistant coach Kalanka spoke on his behalf. Needless to say, there was a lot of news.

Mourinho always has endless grievances when he meets Barcelona.

This is a classic plot in martial arts novels, even the "Kung Fu Panda" filmed by Kaka's Marvel Pictures is full of such plots. In the football world, the relationship between Mourinho and Barcelona basically conforms to this pattern.

In this context, even Kaka, Ronaldo and Messi seem to have become supporting roles, because the relationship between Kaka+C Ronaldo VS Messi+Neymar is no longer an equal relationship. If the two combinations insist on a fateful confrontation, it would be somewhat like "forcing the four prides". Even the thick-skinned "The Sun" can't make it out.

On the day of the game, the Bernabéu stadium was full of seats without exception, and players from both sides were making final preparations in the locker room.

Real Madrid's dressing room is like a complex ecosystem in which creatures of different habits and beliefs coexist and coexist.

Ronaldo and Kaka are two typical examples, both externally and internally.

Everywhere the Portuguese goes, there will always be a lot of noise behind him: the team doctor is whispering, the physiotherapist is in a hurry, teammates are joking and joking, and coach Mourinho is closely watching Ronaldo's every move.

Because his heart is full of longing, Ronaldo's actions always appear anxious, and his teammates even nicknamed him "Brother Anxious" because of this. The president's preparation style can be imagined.

Kaka, on the other hand, always sits quietly in his seat before the game, watching his teammates play with a smile. If it is not the head coach's request, he even rarely speaks, but even if he is silent, no one dares to ignore his existence.

The same is true for this game.

After Mourinho emphasized the tactics and poured the chicken soup, he did not let Cassie make the last speech, but gave Kaka the task of boosting morale.

Everyone has become accustomed to it.

"I have nothing to say," Kaka said with a smile, "the opposite is Barcelona, ​​and we are Real Madrid. If this kind of game requires me to use an excited tone to mobilize my emotions and fighting spirit, then everyone is not worthy of wearing this white jersey on the Bernabéu stadium..."

"So... Let Barca go back crying!"

"The only thing Guardiola should be thankful for is that it is only the 32nd round of the league, and they are playing away. There are still two games before we win the championship ahead of schedule. This is not Camp Nou, so they don't have to line up to welcome the champions!"

"By the same token, if the league title was won on the basis of a home loss to Barcelona, ​​then none of us should be on the podium - I don't know what you guys are going to do, but if this disgusting thing happened, I would refuse to accept the league championship medal for this season."

Now that the wind is going smoothly for Real Madrid, Kaka certainly dares to say anything.

Bragging against the wind and reasoning against the wind is universal.

Cristiano Roma responded: "I'm different, I'll receive the medal, but I'll throw it in the trash."

"Add me one!"

"Beat Barcelona!"

"Goal! Victory!"

"Hala Madrid!"

Kaka stretched out his hand, and everyone covered it together.

"One, two, three...Come on, Madrid!"

All members of Real Madrid were full of fighting spirit and vitality, while Barcelona looked serious and dignified. Even Neymar just nodded to Kaka lightly, and did not make many greetings. It is estimated that Guardiola has used strong drugs in the locker room. In this game, Real Madrid will face a red and blue army that uses the life of the three armies.

"The players entered the field, listen to the applause... There is no doubt that the most popular are Messi, Ronaldo and Kaka, but you can find the difference if you listen carefully. No matter how enthusiastic the shouts and applause are for Messi and Ronaldo, there will always be some boos in these cheers and applause, but Kaka is different. When he comes out, there are only loud cheers.

This is the difference between Kaka and Melo. No matter how many achievements Messi and Ronaldo have achieved, there are flaws. Only Kaka's career is truly perfect.

Some people hate Messi, some people hate Ronaldo, but everyone loves Kaka. "

The Real Madrid team song and "Kaka's Song" were uploaded together from the South Stand, and Kaka had to wave to it. As a result, the fans sang more enthusiastically and other stands followed suit, making it seem that what was about to be staged here was not the match of the century, but Kaka's personal concert.

The dignified Guardiola quickly discovered a detail.

The turf of the Bernabéu stadium is very deep.

When the players walked into the field, they left obvious footprints behind them, as if they were stepping on a wheat field.

Obviously, in order to prevent Barcelona's smooth ground coordination, Mourinho did not let the gardeners mow the grass, but let it grow...

[Damn Portuguese! 】

Kaka also discovered this. Apart from being a little bit dumbfounded by Mu Niao's tricks, he also felt sad for Guardiola.

It's fine to meet someone who's a jerk like me, but to face such a disgusting opponent as Mu Niao, Gua Shuai will have a hard time in this life~~
"Hey! Kaka!"

The two captains were busy with various chores before the game, and Ronaldo suddenly sneaked to Kaka's side.

"What's wrong?" Kaka looked at him inexplicably.

"Pass! Assist!" Ronaldo made a "666" gesture, "Give me 6, 10 minutes."

"OH Xie Te!" Van Persie kept his ears open after seeing Ronaldo's movements, and immediately rushed forward, "I want seven, 15 minutes, if not, 20 minutes is fine."

"...You guys really treat the game like a concert, ordering songs on the spot?"

(End of this chapter)