Great time travel

Chapter 66, It's Better to Go Back
——The points in this medieval European dungeon world have been filled, so can I go back now?
The good news that came suddenly was like a thunderstorm falling from the sky, rumbled in the ears of Knight Li Wei, and in the depths of his heart, a turbulent sea was suddenly set off.

So, does Knight Levi want to go back to the original world?
Do you still need to ask this question?Yes, of course!I really miss it too much!
To be precise, he has waited too long for this day! ! !

Although in the original world, Li Wei was just a poor and unemployed otaku, who was looked down upon wherever he went.But in Europe in this world, he is a high-ranking lord, and now he is wearing the crown of a paladin. The monarchs and nobles of all countries should treat him politely, and he will greet him wherever he goes. , Thousands of people worship, can be called a star figure in medieval Europe-it can be said that there is a huge gap.

But, in Levi's eyes, so what?

As a traveler who has been an aristocrat in medieval Europe for several years, Li Wei knows how delicate, elegant and high-quality the so-called "aristocratic life" is touted by the literati in those romantic novels and costume movies. It seems that it is actually so ridiculous, monotonous, tedious and vulgar, except for the pretentious manner, I really can’t see anything worthy of praise—the rich and powerful in Europe and America in the modern world may indeed have all kinds of people who can Comfortable luxury in heaven, but that doesn't mean their ancestors were too.

Think about it, for the lords and nobles in medieval Europe, their requirements for the quality of life can only reach this level at best:
[-]. A large estate covering dozens of hectares with a strong castle and moat;

[-]. Dozens to hundreds of male and female servants, including attendants and guards;
[-]. A small carriage inlaid with gold and silver, engraved with a magnificent family coat of arms;
[-]. A few high-grade famous breed horses will not be too cheap when participating in hunting activities among nobles;

[-]. Gorgeous garments adorned with many lace and gold and silver threads;
[-]. Occasionally participate in salon dances and ceremonies of the upper class.

However, as the price of enjoying this kind of life, they have to endure frequent battles like eating and dressing. They have to wear heavy armor, hold swords and spears and other sharp weapons, and hide in thick castles every day—most of them Castles are usually not very spacious, and the largest room is only more than 10 square meters. It seems that it is difficult to turn around after wearing armor and full armor. Sleeping in it, you have to beware of internal conspiracy. bed, and one or two faithful servants in the bedroom in case of an assassination or surprise attack.

Let's put it this way, the security situation in most areas of medieval Europe was probably similar to that of Iraq and Afghanistan in the 21st century.

Such a highly tense wartime life is obviously very uncomfortable. In short, Li Wei often feels that he is already a little mentally weak.

Similarly, no matter how those poets eulogize the beauty of the countryside, the life in the country manor is actually not so pleasant. Raising pigs, feeding chickens...Of course, all these hard work has nothing to do with the noble Sir. The problem is that those smelly little things are probably walking around with their heads swaggering outside the lord's living room.

What is even more difficult to adapt to is that in this era, even common metals are terribly expensive. Often in those so-called wealthy families, only the head of the family can enjoy those thick and simple (actually ugly) iron bowls and tin cups. The rest of the people can only use clay pots and wooden bowls to eat... But no matter what kind of tableware, it is the same rough and unhygienic in the eyes of modern people.As for those smooth and clean porcelain and glassware, they are luxury items that are more valuable than silverware. In Europe at this moment, they are regarded as collectibles rather than daily necessities. Who is willing to use them indiscriminately?
There are also salon dances in the upper class, which is actually the same thing, similar to drinking with colleagues in modern companies after get off work.There is also a bunch of unappetizing intrigue mixed with each other.Usually, what they eat is nothing more than bacon, salted fish, sausages, etc. At most, a tender chicken stew, some oriental spices such as pepper, and some new wine, can make people proudly brag for several weeks. up.

In addition, although the gorgeous carriages of the nobles are very eye-catching and cumbersomely decorated like modern Indian trucks plastered with statues, they have to travel on bumpy dirt roads, and they may break down at any time, and there is also the danger of being robbed by bandits. Even if you can step out of the carriage "elegantly" at your final destination, you will usually find your hat tilted and your hair in a messy bun, and you may fall to the ground at any time due to numbness in your hands and feet.And hunting is a very dangerous sport. Countless unlucky nobles died in hunting. Hunting these days doesn't even have shotguns and metal crossbows. With rough iron swords and simple wooden bows, With the three-legged cat ability of Li Wei, a modern time traveler, it is usually considered a good harvest if he can hunt some pheasants and rabbits, but the fox has never caught up. If he encounters a bear or a wolf... I didn't say anything, just leave First!

In short, this world has no computers, no Internet, no telephones, no gas stoves or electric stoves - since most transmigrated people have transmigrated to people who don't need to cook by themselves, this is not too important - no heating, No air conditioning, no flush toilets, no sewers, no showers, people defecating indiscriminately around... such a pathetic quality of life cannot be offset by a title of nobility.

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From Li Wei's perspective, the only place where medieval European life can surpass modern life is probably that it is easier to find a woman--his wife Zhao Na, a time-traveler, took a close look at him before, so Li Wei can still hold the bottom line. Having an affair is barely a good husband.After Zhao Na, who was pregnant with Liujia, was sent back to give birth, the knight Li Wei, who couldn't hold back his extravagance, began to look for beauty and linger in the flowers: relying on the dazzling title of "Holy Knight" and his handsome appearance First, he hooked up with a bunch of noble ladies and romantic widows, and then became the guest of the Queen of Naples. From time to time, he also found some peasant girls and city girls for a change of taste... According to an unknown trail that Wang Qiu heard According to news, this guy even turned into a lolicon monster at one point, and had an affair with the 12-year-old little queen of England! ! !It really makes people want to raise money to buy gasoline and burn this scum! !
But according to Comrade Li Wei's brazen statement, after the initial forbidden pleasure, he was actually disappointed by the real feelings these beauties from Western European countries brought to him-those white women in the upper class of the Middle Ages, although they were full of jewels, blue eyes and blond hair. , with a snow-white complexion, and a different charm compared with oriental women.But the problem is that the skin is quite rough to the touch, and it is bumpy, with many bumps and red spots all the time.Even after washing off the sweat and dirt all over the body, there will still be a faint foxy smell - even the best perfume can't completely cover it up.

No way, in this day and age, it is difficult for even the most elegant ladies to take a bath every day, and even women who take a bath once a week are rare.To be able to wash face, hands and feet frequently, change clothes every few days, and take a bath once a month is already the limit.

Even if the body odor of noble women is like this, the quality of peasant women and village girls is even more insignificant. Even if they look beautiful from a distance, as long as you get close to them, you can find that under their pink and white faces, necks and backs are beautiful. The back turned out to be black!From the hair to the jade arms, there is a strong body odor!That terrifying aura really stinks against the wind and ten feet against the wind, making Li Wei almost have the urge to kick them out of bed!
So, in order not to go to bed with his nose pinched, Li Wei hugged the girls and pushed them into the bathtub to take a bath before rolling the sheets. Although the mandarin duck bath is also a very enviable thing, the problem is repeated again and again. Li Wei was almost confused about whether he came here to find Fang Lianyan, have an affair and enjoy women's bodies, or to be a volunteer scrubber in the women's bathroom... Not to mention that these girls who are scrubbed are often ungrateful!

——Although on the eve of the Black Death, large bathhouses and steam baths had already appeared in many European cities, the absurd custom of strictly prohibiting bathing in modern European history has not yet appeared.And Doraemon also did a lot of work to popularize common sense of hygiene during this period, but the traditional concept of "bathing and bathing = depraved luxury" is still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people (the European bathrooms at that time were actually more similar to washing hair in Dongguan. room, bathing and whoring ♂ whores are often integrated), it is hard to shake for a while.The more pious Christians are, the more stubborn they are in refusing to take a bath... Therefore, the playboy Li Wei often encounters women who are obviously willing to strip naked and have sex with him, but refuse to jump into the bathtub for a bath. The shocking embarrassment of taking a bath.

Of course, there may be some mentally strong traversers who can ignore the excrement all over the floor, the leaky roof, and the smelly women who don't like to take a bath, and shout "The strong human touch here is incomparable to the indifferent modern reinforced concrete forest." ", very happily rolling on the bed full of lice and fleas with the first female creature who is willing to match him, happily producing the next generation... But unfortunately, Li Wei, an elderly otaku, is definitely not Belonging to this kind of strong and brave man, the hygiene and food problems alone have given him a headache for a long time, and he has never felt a strong sense of humanity here, only a strong smell of body odor.All in all, from the beginning of time travel, his dream of being aristocrat has almost come to an end.

Therefore, Mr. Li Wei, who has no ambitions, absolutely does not reject the idea of ​​giving up these seemingly prominent status and returning to the mediocre daily life of modern urban life. There are no psychological barriers.

—— Regarding the issue of women, he has actually already thought about it. Even in the modern world, is it difficult to find some **** to have sex with?As long as you can get the money in your hands, what about Russian golden cats and wild horses, French bold girls, Japanese high school girls, and South American samba dancers?Those modern western white girls who bathe and use all kinds of skin care products and hair conditioners since childhood are much better than these smelly medieval European women!Anyway, through the search and tossing in medieval Europe, he also bought a small treasury, at least tens of millions of yuan worth of money.Moreover, taking advantage of the outbreak of the Great Plague, Doraemon had already injected Li Wei with the highest-grade [Super Invincible Universal Vaccine], and any diseases such as AIDS and syphilis are absolutely immune within the 20-year immunity period. Don't worry.As for 20 years later... He reckoned that his body and bones would have been old for a long time, and he should no longer be able to play anymore.

Of course, don’t think about such extravagant things as marital fidelity and integrity. In the eyes of Li Wei, who is now degenerate in all directions, integrity may have always been a word that can only appear in heaven, and usually not in real society. existing.

However, Levy Knight also believes that there seem to be some minor technical issues that need to be ironed out before the real goodbye to this world.

——Although Li Wei has lagged behind after many years of experience, his morals have dropped badly, but the most basic sense of family responsibility is still there...

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"...Speaking of which, my wife has been away from this world for some time now! How is she doing now? And where is my son?"

Facing the cold night wind mixed with snowflakes, after bowing his head and pondering for a while, Li Wei did not choose to answer directly, but changed the topic and asked.

"...Don't worry, Brother Li Wei, everything is fine at the obstetrics and gynecology hospital. After all, it is an advanced technology of the 22nd century. Your son is very healthy, and the full moon will be two days away. Your wife Zhao Na plans to sit Leave the hospital after confinement...Uh, although according to the date here, your son has been born for more than a month, but the speed of time in the two worlds is different, I thought you should know this..."

Halfway through the talk, seeing Li Wei's frowning look, Wang Qiu hastily added, "...the medical expenses paid in advance are still enough."

"...Uh, of course I know about this, but there is one trouble that still makes me feel very worried."

Li Wei scratched his hair and said with a wry smile, "...Although Zhao Na and I are old couples and have even given birth to a son, in modern China, there is still no registered marriage! , can our son get a hukou?"

——I have to admit that this is indeed a very real troublesome problem...