Great time travel

Chapter 191, The Australian Strange Records of the Dutchman

As early as [-], the Dutch in the Batavia colony on Java Island had already begun to organize a fleet to explore the location of Australia in the south.

——Before that, in the autumn of 300, the four major traveler groups from North America, South America, Australia, and Hainan Island jointly dispatched more than [-] ocean-going sailing ships to Batavia, frightening the people on Java Island. The Dutch East India Company nearly had a nervous breakdown.

After the departure of this huge fleet that had never been seen in the East Asian waters, the Dutch East India Company, which was still in shock and learned of Australia's intelligence, immediately began to organize a sailing expedition as quickly as possible, preparing to investigate the mysterious land of Australia. position, seek opportunities for trade and profit.

Next, the first Dutch expedition ship to explore Australia set off from Batavia in January of the following year. After fifteen days of sailing, it crossed the Timor Sea towards the southeast and arrived in Darwin in northern Australia. Near Hong Kong, the Australian continent was first discovered.

But the problem is, next, the Dutch expedition ship made the mistake of continuing eastward along the northern coast of Australia.And I didn't expect that the first colonial stronghold of "Australians" "Zhongnan City" was actually the Jinwan area (later Derby Port) in the southwest behind them...

As a result, the Dutch ship first went all the way east, passing through the Torres Strait between New Guinea and Australia, and then turned southward with the help of the East Australian warm current, surveying the east coast of Australia that the traversal had not set foot from north to south. , and finally discovered New Zealand.However, it was getting farther and farther away from the traverser, and all they saw along the way were undeveloped wild lands, which disappointed and exhausted the Dutch expedition team.

So, after leaving New Zealand, the Dutch expedition ship took advantage of the trend and entered the westerly belt, was blown eastward across the Pacific Ocean by the prevailing westerly wind all year round, and went to the Spanish South American colonial port to obtain supplies, thus missing the passerby stronghold on the west coast of Australia.

At the same time, the Dutch East India Company has been paying attention to the Chinese League merchant ships passing through Batavia, trying to follow them to find traces of Australia.However, before [-], the republics of the Chinese League and the Australian headquarters under construction were all connected by the "random door", and there was no sea route from the republics to Australia.Even among the republics, because of the [Random Gate] that can transfer personnel and supplies, the traffic of merchant ships has also decreased a lot.As a result, the Dutch East India Company did completely useless work. It waited in Batavia for a whole year and a half without encountering a Chinese League merchant ship heading to Australia.

In the second half of [-], under the strong insistence of Admiral Anthony Van Diemen, the Dutch East India Company in Batavia finally sent a second expedition ship to explore Australia.Fortunately, the second Dutch expedition ship arrived directly at the Golden Bay waters, where it encountered a fishing boat from Zhongnan City.At this point, the Dutch East India Company finally found the location of the Australian traversers and established preliminary contact.

Regarding how to deal with the Dutch visitors who came to Australia suddenly, the China League held a special meeting.Some suggested that these uninvited Dutchmen should be detained to prevent the leakage of Australia's secrets.But most people feel that there is no need to hide Australia's location from the Dutch. In fact, such a large piece of land cannot be hidden.And as the supreme powers who will conquer the earth in the future, the traversers should have more confidence in their own strength. From the Roman Empire to the British Empire to the United States, the country of hope for mankind, which one has closed the country and refused visitors?

So, after the second Dutch expedition ship inspected Zhongnan City, the "border stronghold of the Australian-Song Empire", it finally returned to Pakistan with two kangaroos as souvenirs and a bunch of "Australian goods" purchased privately. Davia, caused a huge sensation.

At the same time, the last Dutch expedition ship ordered to investigate Australia finally completed a circle around the earth at this moment and returned to Batavia from the west.But the problem is that after comparing the two reports submitted by the two expeditions before and after, the East India Company in Batavia was at a loss: although the investigation understood the exact location of Australia, it became increasingly unclear Australian hypocrisy.

The strength shown by this Australian before is obviously so strong. Why is the entire east coast of Australia so wild?
When you meet someone who is stronger than you, you ask to do business; when you meet someone who is weaker than you, you just grab it. This is the maritime ethics of the age of great voyages.In order to find out whether the opponent is strong or weak, and avoid kicking the iron plate and breaking his teeth, careful reconnaissance must be carried out.

According to common sense, Australians who can muster [-] armed ocean-going ships at a time on the East Asian seas cannot be regarded as weak.However, according to the conflicting reports of the two expedition fleets, the parties of the Dutch East India Company felt a certain subtle unreality.

Therefore, in the spring of [-], the third Dutch expedition to Australia began preparations in Batavia, planning to go to the legendary "Capital of the Ausong Empire".Admiral Anthony Van Diemen, who is full of adventurous spirit, also personally served as the expedition leader and diplomatic envoy.

(Admirals in European countries these days have very limited gold content. At that time, the Dutch East India Company only had about [-] ships stationed in Batavia, and they were mainly armed merchant ships. It would be good to have two or three professional warships .In some small countries, only one or two ships dare to be admirals.)
It has to be said that Admiral Anthony Van Diemen's expedition ship "Magdeburg" caught up with a good time. Just when it approached the Australian waters, it encountered a ship carrying Japanese envoys to the headquarters of the Chinese Alliance in Australia to participate in the The steam armored warship at the inauguration ceremony of the new capital—although the traversers do not like to lose money and make money like the ancient Chinese emperors, they will not hesitate to pay a huge price and generous rewards to create a grand scene where all nations come to court.But if there are some foreign guests to fill the scene at important celebrations, it will be a more face-saving thing after all.

Therefore, on this steam armored battleship, in addition to the envoys of the Maori family, the overlord of Kansai, Japan, there is also Fang Yizhi, the envoy of the Yonghe Emperor's court in Shanghai, Shangqiu, the prince of Ryukyu who has "naturalized" the whole country. Wait, plus a bunch of "chief representatives" dug out from which cottage.Now I met the Dutch expedition ship "Magdeburg" on the way, so I simply asked them to follow and go to the capital to participate in the celebration.

Then, as soon as Admiral Anthony van Diemen came ashore in the city, he was pinched by the reception staff and herded into a quarantine camp...

——Originally, Europeans don't pay much attention to body cleanliness these days. Even the nobles rely on perfume to cover up the peculiar smell on their bodies. Now they haven't bathed in the scorching tropical sea for more than a month. One can imagine that this naval officer What kind of aura will emanate from the general and his subordinates.

Captain Li Huamei already felt very stinky when he docked, and these Dutch people were even more stinky, but they felt good about themselves...

Therefore, in order to prevent the outbreak of the plague as soon as the Sino League headquarters in Australia is completed, the guests from the Netherlands should be quarantined first!
Two full weeks later, until the morning when Li Huamei's Hangzhou ship arrived, the Dutch were released in a state of dismay.

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"...The [-]-day quarantine period is over, and the sick people have been received and treated. I wish you a pleasant journey and welcome to Australia."

Accompanied by the above-mentioned business-like blunt Dutch, the large iron gate of the quarantine camp opened with a click.Admiral Anthony van Diemen, who has been haggard a lot recently, and a large group of Dutch sailors under him rushed out of the big open iron gate, carrying their luggage and rushing out without even looking back. After a full 100 meters, he slowed down, stood still, put down the heavy box, and breathed a sigh of relief.

Looking back at the concentration camp where he had been staying for two full weeks, looking at the two guards at the door who were armed with live ammunition and wearing red armbands on their right upper arms, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen let out a long breath and turned to himself The subordinates said: "...in the name of God, we have finally come out."

"...Yes, my lord." The sailors obviously hated the quarantine camp, and said through gritted teeth: "...we finally came out of that ghost place."

——As soon as the "Magdeburg" landed, the relevant departments of the Chinese League threw all these Dutch visitors into the quarantine camp for isolation.In the eyes of the admiral, first a group of people held water pipes and sprayed water at them like ducks.Then they threw disinfectant powder full of pungent smell at them-God knows what that thing was made of, the smell was so bad that the admiral even smelled a pungent sulfur smell.

Next, the Australian doctor gave them a physical examination, and immediately found a bunch of various illnesses, ranging from dysentery to yellow fever, and had to throw them all into the infectious disease hospital.The rest of the people were also forced to bathe non-stop from morning to night, and they didn't feel relieved until they rubbed off a few layers of skin from these slobs.

What's more, in order to fully achieve the anti-epidemic effect of killing germs, the shampoo and soap provided by the Australian quarantine camp to the Dutch for free are not general products sold to the outside world, but special products with strong bactericidal effect. supplies.Of course, limited by the current level of production technology, and out of cost control considerations, these cheap sterilizing products always use some poisonous natural plants, and there are inevitably certain side effects.Especially oleander, which is effective in killing lice and fleas... After all, sailors these days are so dirty, they are like mobile garbage dumps and sources of germ infection. In order to prevent the outbreak of plague in Australia, they had to Strong medicine is needed for severe illness.

So, after using a special shampoo that contained oleander, Admiral Anthony van Diemen couldn't even feel his head and hands!His scalp and hands were severely paralyzed, and then they became slightly swollen.But even so, he is not the most miserable, because some unlucky guy accidentally let shampoo flow into his mouth, and then directly made that guy almost meet God!
Fortunately, those Australians discovered it early and rescued him immediately.But that kind of simple and crude rescue method... Admiral Dimen, who was watching by the side at the time, even felt that it would be more comfortable for this guy to go to God directly: those Australians directly poured it into his mouth in order to save him. A pipe was plugged, and a funnel was put on, and then he kept pouring soapy water into the funnel until his stomach suddenly bulged.Then the tube was removed and the guy vomited non-stop.At the beginning, there were still some food residues, and then the vomit was completely soapy water, but it was repeated many times, driving the poor guy almost crazy.

But even after undergoing such cruel and brutal treatment, it was barely enough to save that hapless guy's life. Until now, that guy was still moaning and lying in the ward.It is said that it will take at least half a month of recuperation before the remaining toxins in his body will be completely metabolized.

This shows how terrible the toxicity of this special shampoo that Australians provide them with for bathing is!
In this regard, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen expressed his incomprehension. Since this shampoo is so toxic and dangerous to use, and Australians don’t seem to want their lives, why are they forced to they use?

(Because mild and safe high-end shampoos are more expensive, only the highly toxic and dangerous cheap ones are offered in the quarantine camps.)
Is it really just to kill the little bugs hiding in their hair, as the Aussies say?

oh!hell!These Australians are really good at making a fuss!You know, according to the admiral's knowledge, even in the hair of European kings and ladies, there are many lice and fleas, not to mention ordinary people.But everyone is still alive and well, and no one has been killed by these little bugs.How come here, but the Australians look like they are facing a big enemy?

All in all, the most impressive thing about Admiral Anthony van Diemen's two weeks in the quarantine camp was bathing, bathing, bathing, bathing endlessly.Over the past two weeks, the admiral found that he probably took more baths than he combined in the past half of his life!After so many endless baths, poor Anthony Van Diemen felt as if he had become a snake and had just been forcibly shed.If he continued to wash, he thought that his bones would be washed out by those Australians!
In fact, during the last few days in the quarantine camp, Admiral Anthony van Diemen prayed to God every time he took a bath, begging his old man to have mercy, and never let the terrible plague find him... Even after each wash, I do smell refreshed.

——In this era, Europeans still continued the wrong medical concept of the Black Death era, thinking that taking a bath would cause the plague (in fact, it was because taking a hot bath and blowing cold wind would make it easy to catch a cold. However, in that tragic era, even The common cold can also kill a person), so bathing is regarded as a scourge.Unless you get a doctor's order, or you are really uncomfortable, you don't dare to take a bath at ordinary times.Even for the relatively "hygienic" Dutch, it is not bad to be able to take a bath every six months.If it is in France, which is the most unhygienic, there are many guys who have not bathed for decades...

What makes Anthony van Diemen even more angry is that Australians seem to lack a sense of hierarchy, and they have never thought of giving special treatment to the upper class in the quarantine camp.He is a dignified and noble admiral, but he wants to mix with those lowly poor sailors, and have a frank and naked meeting in the bathhouse... This is simply terrible!God knows how many gays are there? ! !During this period, he noticed more than once that someone was staring at him with obscene eyes. If he hadn't taken into consideration his status as the expedition leader, someone would have whistled provocatively!

In addition to bathing constantly, someone in the quarantine camp told them the rules in Dutch, such as no defecation, no littering anywhere, walking on the right side, queuing up when things happen, and so on.All kinds of red tape is really scalp-numbing... but it's all over anyway.

Like any conscientious old sailor, Admiral Anthony van Diemen's first concern after leaving the quarantine camp was how their expedition ship Magdeburg was doing.So a group of people went straight to the pier, and then, Admiral Anthony Van Diemen learned from the left-behind crew that their expedition ship had also been carefully disinfected by the Australians from the inside to the outside.

"...Oh, my lord, you can't imagine it. Those Australians wear strange clothes that cover their whole body and have glass pieces embedded in their eyes. They look a bit like monks, but there are big iron buckets hanging behind them. Constantly spraying foul-smelling potions on every corner of the ship..."

The first mate who stayed on the ship danced and described the situation at that time, "...the smell of the potion made people dizzy, we dared not sleep in the cabin for three whole days, only dared to sleep in hammocks on the deck... ...besides they drove us into the pool with long guns to bathe..."

"...No way, sir, in this matter, we can only be as patient as possible... The Australians I met in the past are almost like this, they are too clean. It's like... how is that word What do you mean? Well, clean freaks! Yes, they seem to be clean freaks."

The special consultant hired by the local Australian expedition team in Batavia has been to Lingao Port on Hainan Island several times and has dealt with Australians there.His Excellency De Lantron sighed, stretched out his hand and patted the first officer's shoulder, and said comfortingly.

"... Cleanliness? Ha, cleanliness, yes, that's a good word. Now, old John, you take the boys to find a place to settle down, drink a few bottles of rum, the past This period of time really made them suffocate!"

Admiral Anthony Van Diemen clapped his hands and spoke to an officer beside him, turning back to look at Van.De Lantron, "...the Australians in the quarantine camp seem to have said that there is a hotel for sailors next to the pier, right?"

"...Yes, it is the tallest red brick building across the street, I have already seen its signboard!"

Fan.De Lantron pointed to a six-story building not far ahead, and replied to Admiral Anthony Van Diemen, "...in the Australian capital, it seems that only this hotel currently allows foreigners to be entertained. ...But General, you are a diplomatic envoy, and according to the rules, you can stay in the State Guesthouse for free, and your luggage has already been sent there when you dock at the pier. Are you planning to stay in the State Guesthouse now?"

"...No, it's still too early, let's take a stroll around the city first!" The Dutch admiral looked up at the rising sun in the sky, and at the shadowy giant in the distance. The building group made a decision in this way, "...Mr. Consultant, please come with me. You are the only one who is familiar with the customs of Australians here, lest we accidentally cause any trouble here..."

"...Obey, General, your wish is my mission..."