I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

Chapter 70 Gaslighting

Girl: “You are just trying to fool me!”

???

"Can you please talk to me seriously? I really hope you can give me some advice."

At this moment, the girl suddenly became very frank again.

Lin Feng was stunned for a moment.

Then he asked, “Are you sure you want to listen?”

"Sure!"

Well!

Lin Feng put away his joking expression and said seriously: "Sister, your first problem in this relationship is your character flaw. You are too extreme.

I think this has something to do with your family of origin.

Then when it comes to material giving, you seem to be missing a principle in your consciousness, that is, feelings are two-way, and you cannot ask another person to keep giving to you.

Even if you are a girl, you can't do that.

Love is mutual and it is never your exploitation of another person.

Do you know what my biggest feeling is after listening to the whole description just now?

You are sick! ! "

After Lin Feng finished speaking, the girl burst into tears.

"Wow, wow, wow, I don't know what's wrong with me. When I was little, my dad always beat my mom. At that time, I thought that my future family must not be like this.
But I don’t know why, when I get angry I can’t control myself and want to hit someone. I don’t want this, I really don’t want this!”

.........

On the barrage.

Xiao Wan: "I don't know why, I feel like crying."

Yaoyao: "Me too."

Mr. Xu: "I saw a sentence before, the more you hate that person, the more you will become that person."

Stranger: "The scariest thing about growing up is that one day you suddenly realize that you have some of the same shortcomings as your parents."

Gouzi: "Yes, at one moment I found myself like him, and my first reaction was fear."

Xiao Hu: "Exactly. I never want to be like my mom, but when I fall in love, I feel like I am exactly like her."

Hiro: "I never want to be my father."

Mr. Lin: "It is inevitable that I am very much like him."

The stream flows: "My father walked in front, and I followed behind. I followed her shadow, step by step, as if continuing a certain fate, the same hardship, incompleteness, weakness, the same shame for my own darkness, the same humble hope and disappointment."

Ugh!
.........

The girl's helplessness resonated with many netizens.

Lin Feng shook his head helplessly.

Copying the behavior of parents is the brain's subconscious way of protecting itself.

Not only that, the brain will also strengthen the memory of the response mode in the scene.

So when we encounter similar scenarios in the future, our subconscious mind will directly replicate the coping mode at that time.

For example, when you feel hurt by your parents' cold war when you are a child, your brain will deeply record the scene at that time, and the solution to conflicts between lovers - cold war, and store it in your subconscious mind.

Later, when conflicts arise between oneself and one's partner, one's subconscious mind will directly use the "cold war" coping mode, replicating the behavior of one's parents.

But when we replicate our parents’ behavior, our children continue to be hurt.

As a result, the harm caused by the original family is passed down from generation to generation.

Very helpless.

The more you try to fight, the deeper you sink.

Lin Feng had no better solution for this.

In the end, the young lady left sadly.

"@Military Advisor, why do I feel that the boy has a bigger problem?"

Lin Feng knocked on the blackboard.

Write down five words.

'Gaslighting'

???

A question mark instantly appeared on the barrage.

Raymond Lam: "I'll give you a few examples from real life, and you'll immediately get the meaning."

For example, someone says to you, "Why can't you take a joke?", "Why are you always angry?", "Who else would like you except me?", "You are so hypocritical!"

how about it?
Do you feel a ball of anger stirring deep in your heart?

.........

On the barrage.

What the hell!

I got really angry all of a sudden.

"Look, you're getting anxious!" I said.

The fire got bigger.

Then he will look at you calmly and say: "Why are you so angry?"

The sense of substitution is too strong.
I'm going to explode.

If anyone talks to me like that, I'll put his head in a glass.

What if that's your mother?

Well....

.........

Raymond Lam: "The gaslight effect is when the other person repeatedly touches your bottom line with seemingly ordinary topics.

When you can't stand it anymore,
He turned the tables on you and accused you of having a bad temper.

People who don't know the truth will only see you as crazy, and they will become the victim.
So every time there is an argument, it is actually the other party who is creating conflicts and changing the concept.

And you will be led by him by the nose without realizing it.

remember,

It is good to be emotionally stable.

But if someone can make you angry, he will definitely make you suffer a lot of grievances."

.........

On the barrage.

The stream flows: "Gently ignite you, and then calmly let others come to watch your explosion. Then he has a good temper and a good personality, and you are an emotionally unstable lunatic."

Isn't this talking about my mother?

Alas, my girlfriend is like this too, and I once thought I was really a lunatic.

+1
+1
People with quick tempers always get caught
Those who are bullied are those who have morals but are not good at speaking and have weak characters.

How to break this situation?
The best option is to leave!

.........

Lin Feng knocked on the blackboard: "Let's go back to the emotional issue just now. The girl is 20 years old and the boy is 30 years old. This is a typical example of a high-ranking person suppressing the emotions of a low-ranking person.

It is a dimensionality reduction attack.

Although after listening to the whole story, it seems that the girl has been beating the boy, and the boy is very well-mannered and has been silently enduring it.

But he looked weak.

In fact, they have an absolute dominant position in the relationship.

Because he was using the life experience, emotional intelligence and IQ of a 30-year-old to emotionally deceive a naive little girl.

He knows exactly what a 20-year-old girl needs.

So at the beginning, he concealed his age, lied that he had a house, and topped up his game cards for the girls to make them happy.

This is a kind of empty promise and also a dream.

So after two months of online dating, the girl couldn't wait to fly to his city to meet him in person.

Because she is looking forward to it.

After they met in person, the man's parents and relatives cooperated with him tacitly and continued to hide the truth.

Here, I boldly guess that this 30-year-old man is not the first time to lure a young girl home.

And he did this in order to sleep with the girls.
After sleeping with the clothes, the truth was revealed.

The man began to play deaf and dumb, trying to use silence to evade the girl's questions.

Even in this process, he used such words to the girl as "Why are you always angry?", "Can you speak properly?", "It's not me who asked you to come to me.", "You did this voluntarily."

A series of verbal attacks using the gaslight effect.

Girls have character flaws and tend to be impatient.

So I couldn't help but take action.

Let's talk about girls again.

Most of you may have been misled by her initial words, such as why the boy shouldn't give me money when he clearly agreed to it.

In fact, she has no intention at all.

Because anyone who has even a little bit of scheming would not say something that is extremely disadvantageous to himself right away.

She is young, but not stupid.

Doesn't she know that it is shameful to ask another person for money?

So the truth of the matter is that she was controlled by the man.

Her whole mind is in a state of chaos now, with anger, resentment, grievance, confusion, and self-doubt.

That's why she appears to be in a state of restlessness, and sometimes she herself may not even know what she is saying.

As Lin Feng finished speaking,

The scenes of the boys and girls interacting with each other appeared involuntarily in front of everyone's eyes.

From the online dating period of mutual care, to the brief sweetness after meeting in person, to the boy's bad behavior and cold violence, and the girl's collapse and hysteria...

(End of this chapter)