Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 46 Your hat is crooked

After Guo Qilin exploded, he continued to talk about the father of his rich second-generation friend, whom he had met once.

"He has a slicked-back hair, wears a neat suit, expensive leather shoes, and carries a briefcase. When my friend calls him dad, he immediately gives him money. It would be great if my dad could be like that too!"

As Guo Qilin was telling his story, Qi Long, who was dressed as he described, slowly walked onto the stage, immediately causing laughter.

An audience member who liked to chat with others immediately shouted: "Yell!"

Guo Qilin was a little stunned, and Qi Long hurriedly shouted: "Don't shout, don't shout, don't call the security guard, I'm here to discuss cooperation, is this the Deyun Club?"

"Ah, yes!"

"What's your name?"

"No need to mention your surname Guo!"

"I'm looking for you!" Qi Long patted his shoulder: "Guo Degang!"

Guo Qilin exclaimed, "That's my father!"

"Oh, you are Guo Degang's son!"

"Yes!"

"I have heard that he is being raised in the Qian family?"

"Yes, that's my master!"

"His name is Guo Xiaobao, and his full name is Guo Yunting, right?"

"Right, Guo Yunting is the second one!"

Ethical jokes are always simple and funny, and everyone enjoys them.

Qi Long got to the point and said that he wanted to find Mr. Guo because his boss was going to hold a party and wanted him to arrange a young crosstalk actor to go with him to make money.

Guo Qilin, who had just said that his father didn't give him money, immediately became interested.

Okay, don’t look for anyone else, just look for me. What kind of job do you want?
Now comes the real business. As the temporary partner, Qi Long did not make any major changes to the script. He basically used the same words as in the old jokes, except that he replaced the gold bars and dollars with amounts of money instead, which was more intuitive!

In the story, Qi Long, as the housekeeper, said he wanted to find someone to hold a party, saying it was a happy event. Guo Qilin began to guess whether it was a marriage, a move to a new house, a promotion to a higher level or a promotion.

Qi Long finally gave the answer: burial!
It was a happy funeral of an old man who lived for over a hundred years. The old man's family was very wealthy and had many properties abroad. When he returned to China, he was found to be seriously ill and was about to die.

The old man had no son, so he had no place to spend his inheritance. His four aunts were richer than him and didn't want to leave their family penniless, so they decided to use all of the old man's money for the funeral. Anyone who came to help, even if it was just to move a bench, would be given one million.

"One million just for moving a bench!"

"Don't disbelieve me, just set up that shed and everyone who comes to watch will be given 100,000 yuan!"

"Oh, then I'll bring over 400 crosstalk performers from the Deyun Society over to watch the fun. Each person will get 100,000 yuan. 400 people will get 100 million yuan when rounded off!"

"Don't just watch the fun. Grandpa and aunt love to listen to crosstalk. The crosstalk performer is here. Needless to say, I'll give you five million just for standing there. But there's only one spot!"

Guo Qilin, who had originally said that he would not perform crosstalk at funerals, was immediately tempted and patted his chest and said that he would go.

You can go, but when you go to a funeral, you have to wear something white. Tie a belt, two million more. Wear white socks, two million more. Wear a robe, fifty million more. Carry a banner, I will give you one hundred million!

In each section, some white was added to his body, and both sides would pull each other, and in the end, when he was asked to hit the flag, Guo Qilin immediately got annoyed.

"That's absolutely not possible. Am I being a filial son?"

"He has no son, and you are his son and a pallbearer. Then won't all his inheritance be yours?"

"If I don't go, it's unlucky. I have both parents alive!"

"The old man has more than a thousand acres of rubber forest!"

"Then I won't go either. My colleagues backstage will poke me in the spine!"

"The old man owns several shipping companies!"

"My father would strangle me to death if he knew I went there! Get out of here!"

"The old man has thousands of luxury cars, they're all yours!"

Luxury car?

Guo Qilin, who wanted a luxury car just now, hesitated for a moment, but immediately pushed him: "Go, go, go!"

"He has more than 200 secretaries who look like girl band members. If you go there, they will be your secretaries."

"Huh? I'm going!" Guo Qilin immediately put on the mourning clothes and hat that he had not finished putting on.

Now it was Qi Long's turn to ask back: "Is it appropriate for you to go?"

"Why is it inappropriate!"

"You have both parents!"

"I can't control that much anymore!"

"A colleague stabbed you in the spine!"

"They are jealous!"

"Your father will strangle you to death!"

"Those are all external things!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the audience began to applaud and cheer because Guo Degang appeared on the stage.

When Guo Qilin heard the applause, he looked back and immediately knelt down.

"They're rehearsing already!" Qi Long was puzzled: "Who is this?"

“This is my father!”

"Hello, my dear." Qi Long bowed slightly.

"Who are you? What did you do to my son? Hey, why are you dressed in white? What happened to your master Yu Qian?" Guo Degang asked, pulling Guo Qilin up.

Lao Guo teased Yu Qian, which was another joke.

Guo Qilin said that he was obsessed with money. When people asked him to wear mourning clothes and carry banners, and he heard that the money offered was high, he agreed.

"I am an unfilial child. You can do whatever you want to me!"

"Guo Qilin, didn't I teach you before? Do you think having money means real happiness? How much money do you want to give?" At the end of the earnest teaching, Guo Degang looked at Qi Long.

Qi Long said: "One billion, and a lot of industries!"

Old Guo, who had been teaching with a stern face just now, immediately changed his expression: "Ouch, this hat is about to fall off!"

The audience burst into laughter.

"The kid won't go!"

"Go, how can you not go? If you don't go then I will?!"

Finally, Lao Guo told his son to work hard and earn good money. You can imagine how happy his father is!
The joke returned, the audience burst into laughter again, and Lao Guo left the stage.

After he left, Qi Long began to let Guo Qilin rehearse and kneel on the ground crying.

Before rehearsal, Guo Qilin kept looking back to confirm: Rubber plantation? Luxury car? Secretary!
After everything was confirmed, he began to cry loudly, calling for his father while crying. The more miserable he cried, the happier the audience became.

"How about we go!" Guo Qilin asked excitedly.

"Okay, very good! Let's go!" Qi Long just finished speaking and took out his cell phone from his bag: "Hello, ah, is the old man okay? Did he wake up from listening to the crosstalk? That's great, I'll go back now! You don't have to follow me, the old man is alive!"

Qi Long turned around and left the stage, while Guo Qilin stood on the stage with a wronged look on his face: "Did I work in vain?"

At this point, the crosstalk ended with thunderous applause.

The whole part is traditional paragraphs, but some names that are not in line with the current situation have been changed.

For example, personal maids were replaced by secretaries, and gold bars and silver dollars were replaced by direct cash.

The main design is the part where Lao Guo knocks on the support and the opening part. These two clips are explosive enough.

At the end of the performance, Lao Guo led everyone in bowing to express their gratitude. The audience took stickers and put them in the column of their favorite actor when they left the show to count the votes.

While counting the votes, Lao Guo and Yu Qian also commented on their performances.

Everyone had more or less deductions, including Qi Long and others. Their problem was not with their performance, but that Lao Guo felt it was unfair to others for him to knock on the supporters on stage, so he drew three bars and deducted 30 points.

However, even after the deduction of 30 points, Qi Long and Guo Qilin still ranked first in the number of votes!

Luan Yunping and Qin Xiaoxian were ranked last. The punishment is that they will have a less favorable start in the next episode. We will have to wait until the next recording to find out the details!

(End of this chapter)