Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 9 Turn on the air conditioner!

"Please welcome performer number one. They are crosstalk artists Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang, who were recommended by Mr. Shi Fukuan!"

The crosstalk performers sitting in the audience applauded in friendship. Many of them knew Qi Long and the other two. A small number of them had known Qi Long before the car accident, and most of them knew Qi Long in the past two days because of his performances at Deyun Society and "Window".

Many people discussed in a low voice with their partners or the crosstalk actors around them, talking about Qi Long's footsteps.

Don't be fooled by his young age, he is actually a disciple of the late crosstalk master Mr. Hou. I guess the judges will most likely give face to Mr. Hou and give him a good score.

Some Haiqing crosstalk performers who have weak or no teachers are naturally a little hostile to them.

If you have a backer, can't you just go through the back door openly?

When Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang were taking classes at Mr. Shi's home, Mr. Shi said: As our two apprentices, you have your own halo, and this halo will make many people mistakenly believe that you have a backstage and can get in through the back door.

All you have to do is to put in a better performance and prove that I recommended you based on your ability, not your connections!
Qi Long and the other person came on stage, and the countdown on the big screen nearby started instantly.

During this period, the crosstalk performance must end and cannot exceed the time limit.

In order to save time, some irrelevant padding was simply thrown out.

Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang came on stage, mentioned their names, and directly began to lay the groundwork for the first big burden.

"My brother and I have been learning crosstalk together since we were young. When we were young, our masters required us to practice basic skills every day and recite crosstalk in the park before dawn!"

"That's right!"

As Qi Long talked about this, some crosstalk actors on the stage showed disdain in their hearts without showing it on their faces.

You deliberately mentioned your master, right?

You are talking about your hard work under the guidance of your master, right?

Who doesn't work hard to get here? What's there to mention?

"We two brothers have developed a habit. If we don't practice basic skills for a day, we will feel uncomfortable all over!" Qi Long said proudly.

Gao Dongqiang looked at him with disdain: "Everyone is working hard, so don't go on stage and brag!"

"I'm not bragging, I'm just chatting with you guys. We're practicing basic skills, no matter if it's winter or summer, we won't stop!"

Gao Dongqiang pointed in the direction of the audience: "My colleagues are all like this, it's not worth mentioning!"

His two sentences were meant to let his fellow actors know that he had no intention of bragging, but was just setting the stage for the gag.

"Yes, the weather has been getting hotter recently. When it was the hottest two days ago, our house was almost exploding with heat!" Qi Long said with difficulty.

Dongqiang looked at him in confusion: "It's hot, why don't you turn on the air conditioner!"

Qi Long, who was still talking nonstop and preparing to say the next sentence, looked at him in confusion: "Turn on the air conditioner?"

"Yes, it's hot so you turn on the air conditioner!" Gao Dongqiang looked at Qi Long with the same confusion: "To save electricity?"

Qi Long spread his hands: "Will turning on the air conditioner work?"

“It works if you don’t turn it on heating!”

This sentence attracted a little laughter, maybe only two or three people with low sense of humor laughed a little, but even if it was just a little, on the crosstalk stage, any audience laughter is the greatest encouragement to the actors. Qi Long immediately felt that his nervousness was reduced a lot.

He put his hands into his other sleeves and looked at Gao Dongqiang proudly: "You didn't understand, right? You didn't understand, right? If you don't understand, don't say anything. I'll chat with everyone!"

"Just keep chatting! Hurry up, time is limited!"

Qi Long turned his head and continued to face the audience: "I know, I know, just say it, when it was the hottest two days ago, our house was so hot that it almost exploded!"

"Turn on the air conditioner!" Gao Dongqiang couldn't help shouting, "Didn't I tell you that turning on the air conditioner will solve the problem?"

"Turning on the air conditioner doesn't work!" Qi Long retorted.

"It works!" Gao Dongqiang responded: "You've never used air conditioning before? Don't you have the money at home? If you don't have the money, buy an electric fan. If you can't afford a new one, buy an old one. If you can't afford an old one, buy a broken one. Just shake it with your hands, and there will be some wind!"

This time Qi Long's tone was a little anxious: "You didn't understand, right? If you don't understand, don't talk. I want to chat with you guys!"

"Just keep chatting," he muttered, "No matter how many times you chat, you have to turn on the air conditioner when you get hot!"

Qi Long continued to look back and said with a smile: "Just two days ago, when it was the hottest, our house was so hot that it almost exploded!"

"Open the air-conditioning!" Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long directly, causing Qi Long to stagger and face him.

This designed little action and Dongqiang's eager and loud voice caused some laughter.

Qi Long looked at him speechlessly, while Dong Qiang seemed to be getting excited: "I'm telling you, Qi Long, if you don't want to tell crosstalk, don't hurt me! It's been so long, why do you keep talking about how hot you are? Is it interesting?!"

"Who is hurting whom? Aren't you the one who keeps interrupting me? I'm just trying to talk, but you keep interrupting me. How can I continue?" Qi Long was not happy with it and pushed him instead. But he didn't move.
"Can we get over this topic? I'll tell you that turning on the air conditioner works!" Gao Dongqiang asked.

"It works? It works if you understand it?"

"I understand. I've heard it three times. Your house is so hot it's about to explode!"

"Yes, I mean when it was the hottest, the 'hot pot' we used to boil water at home exploded!"

Dongqiang, who was anxious and blushing just now, suddenly froze in place, staring at Qi Long in a daze.

This time, many crosstalk performers in the audience laughed, even the serious-looking judges laughed!
This is a very common synonym gag in crosstalk, and it utilizes the very common three-fold and four-shake creative technique.

The two brothers performed very well. They were chatting normally at the beginning, but the second time the supporting actor got a little anxious. And the third time both the funny man and the supporting actor got angry and told off the jokes.

The awkward and helpless look of the supporting actor brought a strong comedic effect.

At the beginning, this gag was not due to the limited time in the crosstalk competition. Mr. Shi, who had seen this segment, thought that the anxious emotion of the supporting actor was a little unreasonable. It could be explained that he got angry while chatting, but the emotions of an anxious person would not get so high directly.

Mr. Shi suggested that if the prerequisite of "the competition time is tight, please speak quickly" is added, the source of the supporting actor's anxiety and irritability would be more reasonable.

"Oh, you mean boiling water heats up quickly?" Gao Dongqiang wiped the sweat from his face.

"What else? I've always said this. You kept turning on the air conditioner next to me, and it made it impossible for me to continue my crosstalk!" Qi Long imitated Dong Qiang's blushing face and thick neck, and even deliberately scratched his temples with both hands to make Dong Qiang's small eyes look like his.

Qi Long’s master Hou Yaowen was best at character creation on the crosstalk stage. He could play any role very well, and Qi Long also inherited this tradition.

He imitated Dongqiang's two moves exactly the same, which once again brought bursts of laughter.

(End of this chapter)