Urban Romance

Chapter 29 Tell Lin Shuya a dirty joke!

"Tutuotuo, I take off..."

From time to time, a shiny fruit body came out, and everyone was shocked when they saw it, "Damn it, Fatty Song, this thing of yours is actually a miniature version!"

……

"I really didn't expect that you were the one who rescued Grandpa Su last time. I'm so disrespectful and disrespectful."

After the matter was resolved, Guo Zifeng clasped his fists at Ning Xiaotian with a smile, then changed the subject and began to say something like "Hey, that Xiaotian, this scroll..."

"I understand Mr. Guo's meaning. Since you are a lover of Wang Xizhi's calligraphy, how can I take away people's love? If you like it, take it."

Ning Xiaotian said sincerely, to be honest, this thing is not attractive to him, at least it can't catch up with the temptation of money at present.

"Are you really willing to sell me?"

"of course."

"Good good!"

Guo Zifeng said three good words in succession, with a pleasant expression on his face, "Since you are so forthright, then I will offer you 200 million directly, and let's stop haggling with the price and make a deal at once."

After finishing speaking, Shuahua rattled on the check that he took out, and within a few seconds, this check worth tens of millions landed in Ning Xiaotian's hands.

Ning Xiaotian had never seen so much money, only a string of zeros after 12, he was thrilled to see it!
Later, under He Xing's suggestion, several people went directly to the most famous Yellow Crane Restaurant in Jianghai City, where they also met Ning Xiaotian and made friends.

I have to say that this meal is quite heroic, and the life of the rich is different.

When you are still drinking Erguotou with a dull head, the 82 Lafite has already become a substandard product.A meal worth 10,000+, this can be regarded as Ning Xiaotian's most extravagant meal since he was born!

When I returned to the dormitory at night, I fell asleep without saying a word.

When I woke up, it was already the next day.

Thousands of trees are blooming, chickens and birds are contending.

Ning Xiaotian only felt that his soaring spear became harder. With the continuous competition of Yang Qi in his body, the yurt was built two centimeters higher than before in the morning!
He doesn't grow so fast!It's a pity that it's a special stage now, and I have desires and can't demand...

After thinking about it wildly, Ning Xiaocai realized that these three animals were not in the dormitory at all.

He drank too much yesterday, today Ning Xiaotian doesn't want to go anywhere, he just wants to lie quietly on the bed and laze around for a while.

Swipe a red envelope!

It's okay to be idle, so Ning Xiaotian picked up his mobile phone, maybe he can swipe a few ingots, you know, an ingot is worth more than 100 million yuan!
Ding Dong!

As soon as I turned on the phone, a few text messages came out.

"Are you there?"

"Not here?"

"Hey, why don't you talk?"

"What are you doing?"

"I haven't seen you all day, where have you been?"

……

Swish, swish, Ning Xiaotian was stunned, Lin Shuya actually sent him seven or eight text messages last night!
I'll go, this girl won't fall in love with me, will she?
Although I am very rich now and have a very attractive appearance, it is not very good for a school belle to confess so blatantly, it is so unreserved...

But I like it!
Ning Xiaotian looked at the message on the screen, secretly happy in his heart, thought for a while and replied: "Princess Lin, do you miss me because you haven't seen me for a day?"

Ding Dong!

Back in seconds!

Ning Xiaotian leaned in, and quickly picked up the phone.

"I miss you, you think beautifully! I'm just worried that you caused some trouble..."

"It turns out that the school belle is worried about me... Tsk tsk tsk!"

Ning Xiaotian said happily: "Don't worry, Linda Xiaohua, I am such a civilized student, how can I cause trouble when I walk on the street and even have to worship a good student who studies ants! Unless the trouble provokes me, but I don't think it will. This guts."

Seeing the message, Lin Shuya was amused and smacked her lips, "Cut, you are the only student who is a good student! By the way, who is worried about you? I made a slip of the tongue just now, so I will ignore you!"

Tsk, this girl is still angry.

Ning Xiaotian suddenly had a thought, and thought of the tricks of teasing girls he had seen on the Internet before, and immediately said: "Oh, Shu Ya, don't be angry. I have a very nice joke, let me tell you!"

"Do not listen!"

Don't listen to me!
"Once upon a time, an instructor wanted to embarrass his soldiers, so he said: Go, go up to that tree and see if it can talk. The soldier was depressed when he heard that, how could this tree talk, but he went anyway. 5 Come back a few minutes later, the soldier said: Report to the instructor, the tree cannot speak. The instructor stared: go again. The soldier went again depressed, and came back in 5 minutes. The soldier said: Report to the instructor, the tree cannot speak. The instructor stared again: go again Go. After 5 minutes, the soldier came back and said: Report to the instructor, it has spoken. The instructor was surprised and asked: What did it say?"

"What did he say?" Lin Shuya was also puzzled.

"The soldier said: Report to the instructor, it asked you to go over, it said it had something to say to you."

"puff!"

Lin Shuya suddenly burst out laughing, "Hahaha, wait a minute, let me laugh, this soldier is too funny. Hahaha..."

"Colonel Lin is not angry anymore, hee hee."

"Tch, who said that?"

Ning Xiaotian smiled secretly, this girl is pretty good at pretending, she obviously smiled and said no, thinking about it, she started to think again, "I'll tell you another joke, listen to it and see if you understand it .

Question: How many limbs does a man have?
Answer: 5 limbs.

Question: How many limbs does a woman have?
Answer: 4 limbs.

Question: How many limbs does a man plus a woman have?

Answer: 8 limbs, 9 limbs, 8 limbs, 9 limbs..."

After reading Ning Xiaotian's post, Lin Shuya couldn't figure it out, "What kind of man and woman are these? Don't they all have nine limbs? Why are you paying back 9?"

"..."

Ning Xiaotian was happy, "Sister, are you sure you didn't understand?"

"Don't be tricky and tell me!"

Come on... Nima, can you say this?
After all, you don't have to come to the dormitory with a knife and chop me up!

In the four years of university, I haven't seen many orthodox jokes. Du Hui has been influenced by dirty jokes. Ning Xiaotian is also helpless, but he still intends to see how pure this school beauty Lin Shuya is!

"Let's not discuss this issue of 89. Let's discuss major international events!" Ning Xiaotian said seriously.

"Heh, are you still following the news?" Lin Shuya made a snickering emoji.

"It's okay, it's just to cultivate your sentiments when you're free." Ning Xiaotian pretended to be serious.

"Then tell me, what is an international event?"

"You know McDonald's and KFC, right?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then do you know which of the two places has harder fries?"

"I don't know, what's wrong?"

"The answer is McDonald's. Do you know why?"

"why?"

"Because McDonald's is an uncle, and KFC is a grandfather!" Ning Xiaotian explained with a smile.

"Uncle? Grandpa?"

Lin Shuya didn't come to her senses for a while, but after a few seconds, her face suddenly turned red, and she said angrily, "Ning Xiaotian, you rascal! Dirty, bastard!"

"I……"

Ning Xiaotian was about to explain, but suddenly laughed, this girl must understand!
I thought it was pure, haha...

"Hmph, I don't talk to you anymore! (angry)"

"..."

Seeing the message sent by Lin Shuya, Ning Xiaotian panicked. Damn, this is a big game!

Da da da……

I typed many lines of messages in a row, but I didn't reply a word, and finally my profile picture turned gray!

This girl won't be really angry, Ning Xiaotian wants to cry but has no tears, and originally wanted to make her happy, but who knows the situation, if she knew the result earlier, she wouldn't tell nasty jokes if she was killed!
Talking about something vegetarian is better than this!
Ning Xiaotian sighed, put down the phone, and was about to close his eyes and squint for a while.

Ding Dong!

Ding Dong!

Ding Dong!

Who, it's so annoying, Ning Xiaotian knew it was definitely not from Lin Shuya, so he couldn't help being a little annoyed, picked up the phone to check, and found that it was actually a group of gods.

……

Marshal Tianpeng: Is the old man Donghai there?How come, it hasn't rained these days?
Chang'e: Come on big brother, this is heaven, where can we get rain for you! (roll eyes)
Marshal Canopy: (colorfully) Wow, little sister Chang'e has come out!

Chang'e: (Three white eyes drift away)

Marshal Tianpeng: Sister Chang'e, go to Guanghan Palace tonight, you will entertain me then! (grinning)

Taishang Laojun: Tsk tsk tsk, Bajie can do it now!I'm really in a hurry, as far as I know, Master Zhi Erlang and Wu Gang just happened to be on a business trip!You're all... hehehe.

Chang'e: Hey, you stinking hello, make a fuss again, and tell the Queen Mother to go later! (angry) Also, those with the surname of pig, if you dare to make up your mind, believe it or not, I will let you be reincarnated as a pig!

Marshal Tianpeng: Uh... Sister Chang'e Mo Nu, woo woo woo, I was just joking.Don't take it seriously, don't take it seriously (cold sweat)
Taishang Laojun: Woohoo, heaven and earth have been wronged, I was just joking...

Chang'e: Just kidding your sister, a wretched man, and an old and dishonest one!

Marshal Canopy: Huh huh.

Taishang Laojun: Sister Chang'e, don't be angry, hey, by the way, haven't you always wanted to communicate with your Jade Rabbit?I just researched a treasure, you can try it, I will send a red envelope as a way to make up for the mistake just now! (Pitiful)
Chang'e: Let's see and talk (roll eyes)

Ding Dong!

Have a red envelope?
Ning Xiaotian was staring at them chatting, and instinctively poked his finger up.

Sorry, the red envelopes have been collected!

I rely on it, okay?
Unexpectedly, gathering a ray of yang energy and having a mutated body still couldn't match the hand speed of these bastard gods!
Check out their luck.

Chang'e got a mind-reading talisman.

She was the only one, Ning Xiaotian couldn't help curling his lips, this Taishang Laojun is too picky!
As soon as I thought of this, someone in the Papa group came out to speak.

Taibai Jinxing: I said Laojun, I have been staring at you for a long time, and I just posted this!

Nezha: Exactly. (despise)

Sun Wukong: Taishang Laoer, the new baby invented needs to be shared, don’t be so picky.

……

As soon as the red envelopes were distributed, the gods who had been diving just now all erupted.

Taishang Laojun: Let me go, so you are all here! (Dizzy) Alright, since you want to see my new achievements, let you have a try!

There must be another red envelope, Ning Xiaotian is ready to wait.

Ding Dong!

I poke!

Ding Dong!

Congratulations on grabbing a mind-reading talisman!
Ning Xiaotian was overjoyed and immediately clicked on Properties.

Mind reading

Attribute: Put this talisman on your body, you can freely specify to view a memory in the mind of this fairy (person), and at the same time, you can know the inner thoughts of this fairy (person) at the moment!
Note: The stickers are transparent and cannot be seen by human eyes.

…………

(End of this chapter)