i want to be famous

Chapter 448 No Regrets (Please Subscribe)

"You and Jung Soo-yeon are really in love with each other."

In Busan, in the apartment rented by Kang Jun-hyuk, Kim Ji-won was reclined on the sofa with her mobile phone in her hand, while reading online comments, she joked about Kang Jun-hyuk.

This is already the second night. I attended Jung Soo-yeon’s birthday meeting yesterday as a guest, and then I went to the game company to discuss the release and promotion of “PUBG Mobile” with high-level executives. Jiang Junhyuk did not stay in Seoul that night because There was still filming, so I flew back to Busan by plane as soon as I finished my work.

The flight time from Busan to Seoul is the shortest, it only takes about an hour. In order not to waste time on the road, Jiang Junhyuk did not take the high-speed rail as usual.

Hearing Jin Zhiyuan's joke at this moment, Jiang Junhyuk turned his head and glanced, smiled dumbly, shook his head and said, "I just thought you were jealous."

"You think I'm joking with you."

Jin Zhiyuan couldn't help giving Jiang Junhyuk a blank look, and said angrily: "You and Jung Soo-yeon are too close, don't you have nothing between you?"

Jiang Junhyuk was speechless, and simply turned his head, not bothering to talk to Jin Zhiyuan.

Jin Zhiyuan said: "Don't blame me for being overhearted. Jung Soo-yeon is different from Li Yiliya. You are just playing with Li Yiliya, and I don't care, but if you are also ambiguous with Jung Soo-yeon, I really have to be careful."

Saying that, he got up from the sofa, took two steps forward, lay on Jiang Junhyuk's back, put his arms around his neck from behind and said, "Tell me the truth, you and Jung Soo-yeon really have nothing to do?"

Jiang Junhyuk sighed speechlessly, turned his head, and said helplessly, "I have known Xiuyan Nuna before our debut, do you think if I really have anything to do with her, I will still accept you?" After a pause, he was speechless again Said, "I'm just wondering, you don't care about Li Yiliya, why are you suspicious again when Xiuyan is angry?"

Jin Zhiyuan said frankly: "I don't care about Li Yiliya because she doesn't threaten me. I believe that as long as I persevere, you will truly belong to me sooner or later. But Zheng Xiuyan, as you said, you have known each other so early, and the relationship must be very close." Shen, but I am not sure about Jung Soo-yeon."

"Ah--"

Jiang Junhe laughed dumbly, nodded and said: "Okay, I'll show you the truth. Xiuyan and I are innocent. I always only regard her as my sister, so you don't have to worry about it."

Jin Zhiyuan's eyes flickered slightly, and she said with a smile: "Okay. I believe in you."

As if thinking of something, he suddenly said: "By the way, Li Yiliya will be playing tomorrow. If she stays tomorrow, do you want me to make room for you?"

Jiang Junhe glanced sideways, but said nothing.

Jin Zhiyuan smiled and said, "Why are you looking at me like that? Are you not satisfied that I am so considerate?"

Jiang Junhe said: "Frankly speaking, it's too considerate."

"Do you doubt me?"

Jin Zhiyuan smiled lightly and said, "It's not that I don't know about you, what are you afraid of, are you afraid that I will suddenly come over tomorrow, catch the rape and catch the double, and lose Li Yiliya's face?"

"You can't be so boring." Jiang Junhe shook his head.

Jin Zhiyuan said: "Then what are you worried about?"

Jiang Junhe said: "I'm not worried. It's just a little strange."

Jin Zhiyuan said: "If I object, will you break up with Li Yiliya directly?"

Jiang Junhyuk thought for a while, then shook his head: "To be honest, no."

Jin Zhiyuan said: "Didn't you say that you two are just playing around?"

Jiang Junhyuk said with a smile: "I really have a romantic relationship with her, and I don't plan to have a long-term relationship, but man, you know, the novelty has not passed, and it is not boring for the time being. It will take another one or two months to wait until the filming of the TV series is over. .”

"It's so scumbag."

Jin Zhiyuan smiled and said: "You still answer so confidently. Jiang Junhyuk, are you acting so shameless on purpose, or do you really think so?"

Jiang Junhyuk stretched out his hand, pulled Jin Zhiyuan into his arms, and said with a smile, "Do you care?"

"If one day you get tired of me, will you dump me too?" Jin Zhiyuan asked.

"Will you let me dump you?" Jiang Junhe asked back.

Jin Zhiyuan shook her head resolutely: "Unless I dump you, don't even try to get rid of me."

Jiang Junhe smiled and said, "Then what else do you have to worry about?"

Jin Zhiyuan stretched out her hand, wrapped around Jiang Junhe's neck, put her face against Jiang Junhe's face, and whispered: "Jiang Junhe, I really like you. I will always like you. Don't doubt me anymore."

Kang Jun Hyuk was speechless.

Jin Zhiyuan raised her head, looked at Jiang Junhe and said, "I don't care if you go out with Li Yiliya or find other women, but I hope that when you really believe in me, when you are sure that my feelings for you are not out of right The replacement of the role, I hope that you can truly accept me."

Jiang Junhyuk sighed lightly, didn't respond, and changed the subject: "We still have to shoot tomorrow, let's rehearse the script."

Jin Zhiyuan stared at Jiang Junhyuk for a moment, then nodded.

Standing up from Jiang Junhyuk's arms, Jin Zhiyuan went to the sofa to pick up the script, and was about to turn around when Jiang Junhyuk's voice suddenly came from behind: "Don't move! Just stand like this. There are some things I can't say in front of you. After a moment of silence, he continued, "Actually, I have always believed that you like me, and I also believe that you are not lying when you say you fell in love with me at first sight. But there are some things, how should I put it, I am not worthy of you."

If I met you at the beginning when I first arrived in Korea, I would be very satisfied, and even secretly happy to meet a girl like you.

At that time, I will devote myself to you, will grow old with you, and will be very proud to have a girlfriend like you.

But people will change.

The me now is no longer the me of the past.

After going through so much, especially with a lot of women, I became less and less satisfied and less and less caring.On the one hand, it’s because of my body. My desire is very strong. One or two women can’t satisfy my physical needs at all. You should be able to tell whether I’m lying to you or not.It's not that I haven't had a girlfriend before, and I also want to be dedicated, but you know that the desire of the body, sometimes the more suppressed it is, the stronger it is.

This sounds like an excuse for my fickleness, which is an excuse, but it is indeed a realistic need.

When my girlfriend can't satisfy me, I can suppress it for a while, but frankly, I can't do it forever.That's why I broke up with my last girlfriend.She wants me to be faithful and clean, but I can't give her that.

That's why I emphasized to you from the beginning that I don't want to have a girlfriend, not only you, but any girl I've been with, I have always emphasized that.

Because I can never give you what you want.

I will never be loyal, I will never be clean, and I will never give you equal returns.

This is very unfair, and I know it very well in my heart, so I don't make girlfriends, and I don't give you the status of girlfriends, just because I don't want you to have too many expectations.The more people expect, the more they will be disappointed.

It's a physical reason, an excuse, and a reality.

On the other hand, it is psychological.

The more women I associate with, the more women I experience, I am not a machine, I also have feelings.

Every time I experience a woman, while I get something, something in my heart, whether I like it or touch it, it may be love, or something else.I am not a cold-blooded animal, nor a stone. The more women I experience, the more I give out from my heart.

Even if it's just a little bit every time, but the more times, it gradually becomes empty.

Habit!

Suffice it to say.

When the habit becomes natural, it is like turning a hobby into a nine-to-five job. After a long time, it is like water dripping through a stone, and no matter how thick the stone is, it will gradually wear away.

and so.

If you ask me if I am moved by your dedication, frankly, I am.

Like this very moment.

But this kind of moving is short-lived, because I am used to it, maybe in the next second, maybe in the next minute, or maybe tomorrow, this kind of moving will gradually disappear.

I will gradually forget and feel bored.

Now that I've said that, let me confess one more thing to you.

In fact, I accept you, not because I like you, nor because I was touched by you, I just... find it troublesome.

You have been pestering me, and I can’t get rid of you no matter what, but in the next few months we will be filming on the same crew, and avoidance is definitely unavoidable, so in order to reduce trouble and let you get what you want, so I will agree to accept you.

People always pursue what they don't have, the more they can't get it, the more they want it.

If I satisfy you and give you what you want, maybe over time, you will gradually get tired of me, and when you get tired of me and leave me, I will have less trouble.

You can't just keep screwing like this, the more I refuse, the more you don't want to let go, then there will only be more and more troubles, so it's better to save some time and relax.

This is who I am now, and why I accept you. For me, it's really not worth it. "

Jin Zhiyuan just stood there without speaking for a long time. After a long time, she turned around and looked at Jiang Junhyuk: "Is it finished?"

Looking at each other for a moment, Jiang Junhyuk nodded.

Jin Zhiyuan said: "You just said that you said this to me because you were moved by me."

Jiang Junhe was dumb, and chuckled lightly, which seemed to be mocking and self-deprecating.

Jin Zhiyuan said: "I thank you for being so frank with me, and thank you for still being moved by me. At least this lets me know that my efforts are not without returns."

Jiang Junhe was silent and asked, "Does it make sense?"

Jin Zhiyuan said: "Why is it meaningless? You can be moved by me today, which means that your heart is not a pool of stagnant water. As you said just now, water drips through stone, and habits become natural. You can be moved by me today, maybe you can only hold on for a second, 1 Minutes, or a day. I believe that as long as I persist, this time will become longer and longer, until one day, just like I don’t want to let you go, you will not be able to leave me, let me be yours Habit."

Jiang Junhe was speechless, sighed lightly, and asked again: "Does it make sense?"

Jin Zhiyuan asked back: "Why is it meaningless?"

Jiang Junhe said: "I have made it very clear that I can't suppress my desire, I can't be single-minded to you, and I can't give you the single-mindedness you want."

"Jiang Junhyuk, why am I pestering you?" Jin Zhiyuan asked suddenly.

Jiang Junhyuk looked at Jin Zhiyuan, speechless for a moment.

Jin Zhiyuan said: "Because I like you, I fell in love with you at first sight, because from you, I feel complete."

Jin Zhiyuan took two steps forward, walked in front of Jiang Junhe, squatted down, took Jiang Junhe's hand, and held it in the palm of his hand: "It's like now, holding your hand, I feel a kind of satisfaction, a kind of happiness. This kind of satisfaction and happiness comes from the soul, so do you really think that I will be so narrow-minded as to care about your being unfaithful to me physically?"

After a pause, Jin Zhiyuan said again: "It's true that when I see you dating other women, I know that you have other women, I will also be jealous, I will also have pantothenic acid, and even in the future I will play a small temper, and even take it out on you But Jiang Junhyuk, compared with these things, I care more about whether you have me in your heart, what kind of position I occupy in your heart, and whether I will become your habit for you, and become a person you can never give up. woman.

What I care about is not fairness, nor your equivalent return.

If you love someone very much, you must ask the other person to give you ten in return. This kind of feeling is never love, it is just a transaction.

What the transaction pursues is a kind of fairness.

But when you love someone, you don't ask for anything in return, you don't leave any regrets, you don't have any regrets.

Falling in love with you, no matter what the result is, I have no regrets. "

Jiang Junhyuk's expression was stagnant, looking at Jin Zhiyuan, he couldn't tell what mood he was in at the moment.

Moved?
As long as he is not hard-hearted, who can remain untouched?

But what Jiang Junhe felt the most was a kind of fear.

He was moved by Jin Zhiyuan, but other than that, he was only moved.

Do you like Kim Ji Won?

Jiang Junhe asked himself.

But after thinking for a long time, he couldn't give an answer.

Apart from being moved, he couldn't tell how he felt about Jin Zhiyuan, but he knew that he didn't love Jin Zhiyuan, he was just moved.

And the emotion will gradually fade with time.

When the emotion subsided, when everything returned to calm, what could he give back to such a girl who had no complaints or regrets?

If you really love someone, you don't ask for anything in return, but if you don't love someone, can you accept it calmly?
Jiang Junhe found out with horror that he didn't want to refuse, he didn't love Jin Zhiyuan, but he had a desire to accept Jin Zhiyuan's contribution.

He likes to be relied on, and he also likes Jin Zhiyuan's obsession with him.

But he doesn't love her.

What's more, Jiang Junhe found out with horror that he didn't even love any girl.

From Li Suxi at the beginning, to Jin Zhini, and then to Jin Zhiyuan... Looking back on every girl he has ever experienced, he has been attached to each other, hated each other, and was moved by each other, but when he looks back suddenly, everything is as if the wind has passed. In his memory, these figures never stayed.

Jiang Junhyuk sighed for a long time.

Everyone must have a bottom line. He may not love them, but he is responsible for them.

Pay and be rewarded.

Jiang Junhyuk opened his hand, held Jin Zhiyuan instead, exerted a little force, and said seriously: "As long as you are always willing, I will always hold your hand and never let go!"

(End of this chapter)