historical royal courier

Chapter 131 The Smelly Guy (Two Chapters in One)

(I have a cold and dizziness today, so I am not detailed. Please be considerate, I will make up in a few days.)
"Old Zhu, do you want to go back now?"

Li Yi walked into the door to take a look, and found that Lao Zhu was sitting on the side to settle accounts, while Li Shimin was watching with a dark face.

"No hurry, no hurry, I haven't settled my account here, so I won't go back for now."

Holding a thick account book, Zhu Yuanzhang dipped his fingers in his saliva, turned a page, and then asked the quartermaster to explain it to him line by line, just like the old mother who counts money at home.

"I haven't settled it, I think you have been counting it for so long, why didn't you settle it?"

Could it be that Lao Zhu's accounting skills are so poor? Li Yi is wondering whether to help him get a computer.

"No, I always feel that Lao Li cheated me, otherwise how could my spoils be so little."

He didn't raise his head, because he suspected that the account was not settled, and Li Shimin was cheating, so Lao Zhu and the quartermaster had repeated the calculation several times.

"You are slandering, I, Li Shimin, can't do such a thing!"

Li Shimin resolutely refused to admit Zhu Yuanzhang's suspicion, but he clenched his fingers involuntarily.

"Forget it, forget it, I don't care about you anymore, just take your time here and figure it out."

Li Yi has been here for several days, no one to talk to, and nothing to do, he is almost tired of staying here, but he doesn't want to go back to Da Song's house, because his mother is too nagging.

"I'd better go find a new emperor, and see if I can find that emperor this time. You guys play here slowly."

During this period of time, Li Yi has been busy dealing with modern affairs and Tang Dynasty affairs, and has no time to find some new emperors to play with. Now that he is free, he can just find some new ones.

"The rice grows seven ears, haha, it's this kind of auspiciousness presented by the local officials that keeps repeating itself. Give me all these auspicious memorials, and then dismiss this local official."

After glancing at this annoying thing again, Qianlong threw it on the ground.

"The slave obeys the order."

Looking at the memorial that fell on the ground, Futai had a sinister smile on his face, hehe, you dog, you only gave me such a little filial piety, let's see how I can beat you to death.

A local official came to the capital some time ago. He found some way to find Futai, the eunuch who was close to the emperor. Then he secretly asked Futai if there was any way he could win the favor of the emperor, and he offered a box of filial piety. The silver is used as a greeting gift.

Oh my god, I only gave you a box of silver. How shabby do you think I am? I want your money so much. Who cares about this box of silver? And you are slapping me in the face by giving me so little!
Therefore, Futai gave the magistrate a sinister suggestion, saying that you go to present auspicious auspiciousness to the emperor. If this is the case, the emperor will definitely be happy, and then your chance will come.

Originally, it stands to reason that this method is not wrong, because Qianlong was very fond of great achievements. However, some time ago, Qianlong just issued an imperial edict and ordered that it is strictly forbidden to report "auspicious things". "All auspicious things in Qingyun and Jiagu are not allowed to be reported." .”

Therefore, this magistrate has hit the muzzle.

"Well, you go down first, and help me make a cup of strong tea. I'm a little tired after watching the memorial all day."

"I'll do it now, my slave, please wait a moment, Lord Long Live."

Climbing up from the ground, Fu Tai quickly ran to the waiter with small steps.

"Hey, these slaves below, why can't they let me save my worry?"

Hongli stood up and took a few steps, looked at the decoration of his study room, all of which were poems and portraits written by himself, and touched his chin in satisfaction.

"It's boring to be idle, why don't you write a poem, Xiao Guizi, and prepare to grind your ink."

"Long live, the servant has finished grinding."

Xiao Guizi stood by the desk, helped Hongli spread the rice paper, and slowly polished the ink with a good inkstone.

Xiao Guizi had already figured out what kind of temperament his emperor was. As soon as Hongli pouted his ass, he knew what kind of fart his emperor was farting.

Now that I stand up and read my own poems, it should be no accident that I have to write poems again.

Qianlong wrote more than 4 poems in his life. Although most of them are bad poems and are produced on the assembly line, writing so many requires not only skill but also perseverance. If Qianlong were to write novels, he would definitely There will be no interruptions in updates, and perhaps there will be updates every day.

After a while, Qianlong immediately wrote a poem. The author couldn't figure out what it was about, so I found a poem by Qianlong for readers, "Reading Xiang Yu Ji", so that everyone can appreciate Qianlong's poem. level.

The deer walks in the wilderness and the strong man chases after it, and the frogs make the sound of the purple man.

Pulling out the mountain and carrying the tripod to prosper, how violent is it, and the tooth and sword are left behind.

The world doesn't hear songs that are more clear, but only sigh Yu Xi in the tent.

Where is the hometown of Sanhu?For thousands of years, the Wujiang River will not wash away the sorrow

"Good poetry, Your Majesty, Your Majesty is really talented in literature. According to my servant, the title of Poet Sage should be your Majesty's."

Futai, who came back from serving tea, saw that the emperor had written another poem, and hurriedly praised him.

"Oh, you think it's good, then tell me, what's good about it?"

What, you don't play your cards according to the routine!
When Qianlong asked such a rhetorical question, Futai immediately became dumb. How could he know the advantages of this kind of assembly line products.

"Uh, this, this slave has a limited level, so I can't tell why."

"Hmph, a dog slave who only knows how to flatter stupidly, and doesn't know how to be flexible."

Qianlong has long been tired of hearing these compliments, because they all said nothing new, and they couldn't understand their real thoughts at all.

In fact, the level of Qianlong's poetry was not high, so how do you ask everyone to understand his thoughts? This made all the civil and military officials in the dynasty very confused, but then someone scratched Qianlong's heart.

This person is the well-known Master He Shenhe.

There are many sayings that He Shen was favored because Qianlong saw the small red mole on He Shen's neck and thought he was his beloved woman who passed away.

In fact, this statement is a bit unreliable. It should be more correct that He Shen is very smart. Every time Qianlong writes a poem, he can accurately guess the meaning in the poem. This makes Qianlong very happy, so flattering is also a skill Very high content live.

"No, Your Majesty, no matter what this servant is doing, it's a dragon's fart!"

"Haha, you took a good shot now."

"..."

Looking at Li Yi who was standing in the corner laughing, the three people in the room were very puzzled as to where this guy came from.

"Where are you a dog slave, you dare to laugh at the emperor, do you want to die? Wait, where is your braid?"

Seeing that there was no braid on the back of Li Yi's head, Futai was very surprised. Now there are still people who dare to cut off his braid.
"Who would leave a mouse tail, that would be too ugly."

Looking at the terrified and angry emperor and eunuch in front of him, Li Yi was a little curious, he actually ran to Qianlong.

There is no way, the emperor Qianlong is too easy to guess, he is a young poetry writer, and his poems are as prolific as a sow, no, sows are not so prolific.

Li Yi is very curious and interested in the emperor Qianlong. After all, he is the oldest and oldest emperor in the history of the Chinese dynasty. At the same time, he has left many stories and allusions in history. The Lord is also this.

For example, the most famous one is the leading actor by the Daming Lake.

Qianlong also had a lot of titles, such as the more famous Shiquan old man, this one is self-appointed, and Emperor Manjusri, this is the honorary title given by Tibet, and this Tengrit Gugeqi Khan, this one is from Mongolia sweat number.

And because he liked to write poems and dramas, Qianlong also named himself many names like other literati, Changchun Jushi and Xintian Jushi.

From a fair point of view, Emperor Qianlong was a very accomplished emperor. Of course, this refers to the early period of his reign.

Whether it was caring for the people, paying attention to social stability, reducing or exempting the world's money and food, or rectifying officialdom and cleaning up the government, Qianlong did very well. For example, as mentioned above, prohibiting reporting auspiciousness, these are the real achievements of Qianlong.

Moreover, Qianlong also prospered in martial arts in foreign wars, flat-bottomed the frontier rebellion, perfected the rule of Tibet, and officially incorporated the Xinjiang region into the territory. These are all his political achievements.

To be honest, Qianlong is still very capable, otherwise he would be ashamed to call himself a perfect old man.

But as I said before, this was the early period of the administration, and in the later period of Qianlong's administration, he became a completely stupid emperor. from.

But no matter how awesome or stupid Qianlong is, it's none of Li Yi's business, because this guy is not of my Han blood!

Moreover, he even felt very disgusted with Qianlong Li Yi, because the few things he did made everyone in later generations very unhappy.

Like literary prisons, during the Qing Dynasty, the emperors often carried out literary prisons, but Qianlong conducted more than 130 literary prisons alone, accounting for 80.00% of the number of literary prisons in the Qing Dynasty.

There is also the policy of closing the door to the outside world, because the policy of closing the door to the outside world turned China from a world leader to a laggard. Although it was not all the responsibility of Qianlong, he definitely had to bear part of it.

At the same time, there is also an author who personally believes that Qianlong compiled "Siku Quanshu". All culture is really fart.

I have a history of thousands of years in China, but you want to summarize it in a book. You can dream of the Spring and Autumn Period. I dare not say this in the "Yongle Dadian" of the Ming Dynasty!
Hearing Li Yi mocking his beautiful braid as a mouse's tail, Qianlong was furious. This was the first time someone dared to show such arrogance in front of him.

"Slave dog, you are looking for death, I will definitely kill you today!"

"There is a dog slave on the left, and a dog slave on the right. Are you annoying or not? There is no one in the world except you, right? It's all your slaves and dogs."

Li Yi felt that the Qing Dynasty was really perverted, and there was no point in staying here, and being scolded by others every now and then, who would like to be scolded?
"You still dare to contradict me, come here!"

Seeing that Qianlong started to call for people, Li Yi immediately opened the void door and fled. He didn't want to die in vain, and saving his life was the most important thing.

"You can play here by yourself slowly. I will bring enough people next time and come again. This time I will leave first. See you later."

Li Yi didn't have any interest in staying in the Qing Dynasty, so it's better to keep the Qing Dynasty as a commodity for trading in the future.

Think about the kind of scene that will appear in the future, maybe hold an auction,

"What is being auctioned now is Emperor Yongzheng of the Qing Dynasty. The auction price."

"Very good, let's invite us to the next auction item. This auction item is relatively stronger than other auction items, so the auction price is a little lower than the previous one. This auction item is Emperor Qianlong of the Qing Dynasty!"

Thinking of such a scene in the future, Li Yi's face showed a sluggish smirk, which frightened the emperors who were drinking tea in the palace.

"Li Yi, Li Yi, what's wrong with you? Who harmed you? I want to destroy his entire clan!"

Ying Zheng, who was sitting there drinking tea with a smile just now, saw his son-in-law-to-be suddenly appear, and before he had time to ask someone to notify his mother-in-law, he realized that Li Yi had become stupid.

"What happened?"

After being shaken a few times by Ying Zheng, Li Yi suddenly came to his senses and found that he had chosen to return to Song Dynasty.

"What are you doing around me?"

Breaking free from the siege of these old hooligans, Li Yi looked at them vigilantly, why, want to trick himself again?
Do you want to force girls, I, Li Yi, am not that kind of person!
"Hey, are you not stupid?"

Zhu Youjian came over to take a look at Li Yi's expression, and found that the stupid look just now was no longer there.

"You are stupid, let me remind you, I just found Ming Chengzu!"

"..."

Feeling the sympathetic eyes of everyone around, Zhu Youjian swallowed forcibly, and said:
"Who is afraid of whom, I have recovered Daming now, and Dorgon died in the rebellion just a while ago, now even if Cheng Zu comes, I have to praise me!"

As soon as Zhu Youjian finished speaking, everyone immediately gave Zhu Youjian a thumbs up, cow, are you afraid to watch it later, it is useless to say now.

"Okay, Lao Zhu, I respect you as a man, and I hope you won't be timid when the time comes."

Ignoring Ying Zheng's invitation to have tea and dinner together, seeing his mother running towards him, Li Yi immediately opened the void door and ran away like a rabbit.

"You son of a bitch, don't let my old lady catch you, even if you go to the ends of the earth, you will have to come back sooner or later to give birth to my grandson!"

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Li Yi looked at the unfamiliar environment in front of him, wondering which world this was.

After walking a few steps, Li Yi suddenly heard someone reading words. After listening carefully, it seemed quite familiar.

"The black turtle in Luoshui first presented auspiciousness. The yin number is nine, the yang number is nine, and the number nine is 81. The number is connected to the Tao, and the Tao is the original heavenly deity. Yicheng feels it. The mountain red and phoenix are both auspicious, the male sings six, and the female Ming six, six six 36 times, the voice is heard every day and the Emperor Jiajing lives forever."

After listening, Li Yi instantly understood where he came from, it turned out to be this fairy!
This is also a bad fart guy, although there is no way to compare with Qianlong.

(End of this chapter)