Anecdotes about the novice system

Chapter 119 Asakami's Monologue

"Shi-san, do you know?"

"I haven't felt pain since as long as I can remember."

“When I was little, I cut my palm while playing house.

Something borrowed, something fake, something fake.Among those small cooking utensils, there is a real thing mixed in. "

“While I was playing with the delicately crafted knife in my hand, I didn’t know when I made a deep cut between my fingers.

My palms were full of red, and I returned to my mother.In my memory, my mother first scolded me, then cried, and finally hugged me tenderly.

'It hurts. ' asked the mother. "

"Compared to this incomprehensible words, I felt the joy of being held by my mother, and wept with her.

"Fujino, the pain won't hurt anymore after the injury is cured..." said my mother while wrapping me in a white bandage.

I don't understand the meaning of this sentence.Because I never felt pain even once. "

Asakami Fujino just looked at Shiki so plainly, narrating himself expressionlessly, as if he wasn't himself.

There was obvious surprise on Shiki's face: "Asami..."

However, Asakami Fujino just shook his head calmly and continued to narrate: "When I was in middle school, there was a sports meeting. After the sports meeting, I stayed alone on the playground."

"Because, my foot was sprained and I couldn't move it.

As a painless person, I am actually able to move.Because there is no obstacle in my heart even if I am moved. "

"However, the swollen ankle told me that if I continued to act, there would be irreparable consequences.

I felt nothing, just looking at the sunset. "

When Asakami Fujino said this, his tone was a little depressed.

"At that time, I didn't ask for help. I didn't want to ask for help.

Because, if you ask for help, everyone will definitely say: 'You can endure it to this point, does it hurt?', 'Will it hurt? Don't you feel pain?' Such words.

I hate that.

So I sat there with a normal expression as usual.Try to make sure that no one notices me, putting on a show like this.

Be it mother, father, teacher, friend, anyone.

I don't want them to know at all, at least the people around me must not notice my abnormality, otherwise I will definitely collapse.

I was thinking so. "

Asakami Fujino stopped: "Later, I met Senior Heitong, he is really a very gentle person..."

"Shiki-san." Asagami Fujino raised his head, his light red pupils stared at Shiki who frowned slightly: "If I hadn't met you, I, Asakami Fujino, might have always liked Senior Heitong... ..."

Shiki didn't speak again, she moved forward slowly, and took the expressionless Asakami Fujino into her arms.

Asakami Fujino felt this reassuring and warm embrace, just like the embrace he had in despair.

Asakami Fujino closed his eyes comfortably, feeling this nostalgic feeling.

After that, she opened her eyes and said, "Shisang, I'm not telling you this because I want to gain your sympathy.

Because I know that even if I say nothing, you won't blame me.

I say this only because it suddenly occurred to me. "

Shiki gently patted Asakami Fujino on the back: "I know."

"Shiki-san, then I met that group of disgusting classmates.

They used violence to bring me there, to a place that seemed completely separated from the world.

I know what they want to do.

But, I actually don't care.

Because no matter what they do, I won't feel anything. "

As he said this, tears flowed from his eyes.

"Did I cry? Why? I really think so?"

Asakami Fujino keenly felt the tears falling from his face.

Shi Shi didn't speak. She was not good at words and didn't know what to say.

She just hugged Asakami Fujino tightly in her arms.

"Shi-san, I really thought so at the time.

It's just that at that time, there was a feeling of boredom in my heart, a feeling of wanting to vomit, and a feeling of fear.

But, I don't care about feeling that way.

Because, that feeling is too much.

Ever since I was little, that feeling seems to have filled my heart all the time.

So, don't care.

Perhaps, Asakami Fujino's heart has long been used to this indifferent feeling. "

Asakami Fujino put his arms around Shiki: "But, Shiki-san.

At that time, you appeared so suddenly.

At that time, I saw you for the first time.

My first image of you was really bad, bad.

I feel like I'm not even compatible with you at all.

Ominous black hair.Pure white skin full of ominousness.Bottomless eyes full of ominousness.

I am watching you among a group of ordinary people.

So, I saw the scenery behind you.

There was nothing but blood behind the man.That person wants to kill someone else.That person wants to hurt someone else.That man is a murderer.

That's how I define you. "

Shiki nodded lightly, and replied, "Very appropriate evaluation."

"No!" Asakami Fujino opened his mouth to refute the agreement: "Then, you knocked down those people like a hero.

At that time, your murderous intent was terrifying.

ah!Am I dying?
I thought so at the time.

Then, suddenly, I was a little scared again.

It's ridiculous!

I have no real sense of being alive.

However, I am deeply afraid of death.

Then, slightly cool hands gently hugged me.

Is the target actually me?

I suddenly felt terrified.

Obviously, obviously I am the victim!
I thought so, so afraid.

I really wanted to resist at that time!

However, I have no strength.

I was so frightened that I was completely powerless.

Then, I heard your stiff concern.

At that time, I was suddenly stunned.

I don't know why, but I just want to laugh.

But ah, laughing seems to be too difficult.

After the feeling at that time, I suddenly felt grateful for the rest of my life.

Then came great sorrow.

I thought I was used to being sad like that.

However, this is not the case.

However, I was afraid again.

So, I asked you that question again.

After your stiff answer.

I cried out in relief.

Haha, the me at that time..."

Asakami Fujino happily recalled, and said happily: "After that, you were like a ray of light shining down from the endless dark clouds.

Since then, I have been hopelessly infatuated with you.

At that time, I felt alive.

That feeling should be happiness.

At that time, I just found out in an instant.

It turns out that what you see is completely different from what I see.

You are obviously such a gentle person.

But ah, I am very happy.

Because, with your appearance, it is really easy for others to stay away from you.

They will not dare to approach you because of fear.

This way, you can just be with me. "

Asakami Fujino's face was filled with anticipation: "It's just that Senior Heitong suddenly appeared beside you.

At that time, I was very disappointed, but I felt relieved.

Because, with my abnormality, I am totally unworthy of Shiki-san.

So, let's let the Kuroto-senpai who I once admired and the Shiki-san who I admire and obsessed with now be together.

This is, the best ending!
I was telling myself that.

However, I am still very unhappy.

So, I met ordinary people who came to trouble me again.

Then I 'twisted' them.

Seeing their pain gave me a sudden, addictive sense of satisfaction.

I am indeed an anomaly!

Even, the sense of pain is restored!

I thought so.

So, for Shiki-san's happiness, let her be with Senior Heitong!

I warned myself more than once.

But, every time I see you, Shiki-san, I can’t help but...

I'm so ridiculous, right? "

Shiki hugged Asakami Fujino: "Asakami, it's not funny."

"Shi-san, don't say words to comfort me." Asakami Fujino hugged Shiki, sniffing the fragrance of Shiki's body: "I know what I am like..."

"You don't know." Shi gently interrupted her: "You are a distressed child, so I want to protect you.

No pain is a good thing!
I will protect you from now on.

Let you no longer get real feeling from pain.

I want you to gain a real sense of happiness! "

"Pfft..." Asakami Fujino pushed Shiki away and looked at her with a smile, but there was a glimmer of water in the corner of his eyes: "Shiki-san, don't do this."

Asakami Fujino stood up, then turned and walked towards the door.

She stayed at the door: "Shisang, I don't want to get your pity, I just want to find someone to talk to who can make me relax completely.

So, you don't have to do this!

So, you don't have to wrong yourself! "

With that said, she opened the door and walked out.

"Asakami, I'm serious." Shiki's voice was not loud, but it clearly reached Asagami Fujino's ears: "I will replace pain with happiness, and become your sense of being alive!"

pat!

The door was closed.

The sound of leaving footsteps did not stop.

But, it seems much happier.

(End of this chapter)