She is the villain Bai Yueguang

Chapter 193 Their Indulgence

"Xian'er, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Helpless like a lost child.

Nan Jinshi slowly squatted down in front of Hua Zhixue, and clenched her soft white hands on her knees.

He just bowed his head and apologized to her blindly.

His trembling body and slightly hoarse voice were full of his pain and regret.

How much torment in the past three years, how many days and nights I have been tortured.

Only he knows.

Waking up every day to face her desperation.

He looked at this well-behaved and docile girl who was once full of life, like a puppet that had lost its soul.Not to mention no mood swings, not even a reaction to his appearance.

He imagined countless possibilities after she woke up.

Even if she wants to scold him and beat him, or even ask him to pay her this life.

He will give anything.

But she didn't.

After she woke up, when he began to confess, she looked at him with puzzled and empty eyes, and only asked a soft question.

"who are you?"

Just three short words were enough to make his rebuilt courage collapse again, and the re-collapsed world left only broken walls and ruins on his heart, making him breathless.

Nan Jinshi can only pretend that nothing happened.

Come and see her occasionally.

Or to avoid her when it was difficult for him to face her, he promised Mr. Qin and Mrs. Qin that he would take good care of her for the rest of his life.

After coaxing the couple out of the country.

Not only did the burden in his heart not lighten, but it became heavier.

He knew he was afraid.

Whenever he saw her and looked at her face, he could always think of his atrocities in the past.

He tore her clothes against her will.

At the beginning, she would resist and cry.

But the more she got to the end, the more numb she became, and the hole in his heart was getting bigger and bigger.

He could only take it from her like crazy, hoping to fill the hole in his heart that was constantly opening.But the more this happened, the more he couldn't be satisfied.

This feeling of losing her anytime, anywhere really made him too uneasy.

So he finally made a decision.

To be engaged to her.

Tie her all her life to her side.

By the time he really started to regret it, it was too late, she lost all her memories about him, and she couldn't even laugh or cry, just like a puppet without emotion.

Sometimes she can even stare out the window blankly.

A look is a whole day.

He knew that he had lost his fairy.

Maybe she will never come back again.

He had imagined the possibility of Xian'er recovering her memory.

After taking her out of the hospital before, he watched her slowly become lively, and seemed to have changed back to her previous appearance. At that time, he guessed that she might have recovered her memory.

Just find her and talk to her.

Only then did Nan Jin realize that she hadn't recovered her past memories.

If not, how could she call him "Brother Jinshi" so innocently and ignorantly? She should hate him the most.

But now.

Nan Jinshi didn't know how to make a choice.

If he really had to choose one, no matter how much she hated him and hated him, he would still choose his Xian'er, as long as she was willing to forgive him for being like this.

He didn't know how to face her.

For his Xian'er, maybe he is the source of her pain.

And during the time she was in a coma.

It also made him fall into pain and suffering again.

But he found the shadow of her in getting along with Xia Luoyang. Xia Luoyang is similar to her in some ways, but different.

But no doubt.

His emotions were still affected.

He was fortunate that Xia Luoyang sometimes relied on him like her, and he would feel comforted while helping her.But the fear is that sometimes she will do something like her, regardless of her own life.

Very similar, yet different.

He didn't know how to deal with this conflicting emotion.

But Nan Jinshi knew that he couldn't let her go, but now he couldn't really ignore Xia Luoyang.

After all, the accident that night
Nan Jinshi's eyes sank slightly, and he snuffed out all the last redundant emotions in the bud.

"..."

Hua Zhixue opened her lips to speak but stopped.

She looked at the hand held by Nan Jinshi, and for a moment she didn't know what to say to face the person in front of her.

It's as if all the weight has been lifted from him now.

He broke down in tears in front of her.

He was once such a proud person, but now he only knows to apologize to her again and again.Hua Zhixue's feelings are not deep, and she doesn't know what Nan Jinshi experienced.

She sighed.

Finally, she stretched out a hand and patted him on the shoulder.

"It's all over, it's okay."

She herself had never been hurt.

Every time Nan Jinshi wanted to touch her, she would push her into the illusion.Now that he is so guilty and regretful, it may be because he did something amazing to her in the illusion.

Fortunately, she had the foresight.

She had known for a long time that Nan Jinshi was an abusive male protagonist who was full of thunder. Naturally, she couldn't be indifferent. Fortunately, she followed the routine and walked through the plot that made him come to regret.

So as not to let things reach the point of no return.

When Nan Jinshi heard her voice, he raised his head in disbelief, but on his face he couldn't hide the shock and surprise mixed in the depths of his eyes.

"Xian'er, you...forgive me?"

He almost wondered if there was something wrong with his hearing, but when he raised his head to meet her eyes, Nan Jinshi was convinced that she had really let go and was willing to forgive him.

"Yes, so you don't have to make such a fuss, don't make things difficult for yourself."

Hua Zhixue couldn't help but look complicated when she looked at Nan Jin.

I don't know what he experienced in the illusion, and he regretted it to this point.

It made her a little curious too.

"That fairy, I"

Once he finished talking, Nan Jinshi was a little incoherent. He looked a little embarrassed, as if he wanted to touch her but dared not.

"Cough cough."

Hua Zhixue put on a sick and weak appearance at the right time.

She coughed several times.

Nan Jinshi got up nervously and wanted to hug her, but she waved her hand to stop him.

"It's okay, I want to go outside to relax, just let me be quiet."

He looked at her determined expression and hesitated to speak.

In the end, he drooped his shoulders as if he was defeated, "It's not safe outside, it's better if I take you there."

Nan Jinshi's eyes dimmed a bit.

Although she said she had forgiven him, she still couldn't accept him so quickly after all.

"If the central area is not safe, there is no safe place. Don't worry, I will come back if I don't go far."

Hua Zhixue saw him look like an injured and wronged daughter-in-law, so she could only shake her head and say something nice.

"Then you promise me to come back soon."

Nan Jinshi's eyes were still a little red from crying just now, and he stared at her with such a serious face, he really couldn't hold any aura.

She put on a show and nodded earnestly.

Only then did Nan Jin look slightly relieved, and he sent her out the door in person.

"This is basically the inner ring where talented people with red abilities live. It is also the safest place. Don't run too far."

After he finished explaining, he still felt a little uneasy, so he took off his own red ring and gave it to her.

"It's not just a pass, it can also contact other people. If there is a situation, you must contact Charlotte."

It's not that he hasn't tried to enter his contact information in her bracelet before, but he can't use it without permission.

Nan Jinshi had no choice but to give up and settle for the next best thing.

"So miraculous?"

Hua Zhixue took it and looked at it curiously, but still didn't quite understand how to use it.

Nan Jinshi saw what she was thinking, and handed her the instruction booklet.Hua Zhixue just accepted it, said goodbye to him contentedly, and went out.

"Crack."

The door was closed again.

Hua Zhixue's figure also disappeared in front of Nan Jinshi again.Nan Jinshi didn't look back until the room became quiet again.

"Have you heard enough?"

He turned back and reopened the door that he had closed before, and his tone became cold again.

On the other side, Charlotte, who was bending over and trying to sneak away, couldn't dodge in time, and was caught straight, her pretty face turned pale in an instant.

"I did not do it on purpose."

Xia Luoyang was caught, so she had no choice but to give up her idea of ​​slipping away, and lowered her head in front of him, muttering to herself to justify herself.

She really didn't eavesdrop on purpose.

It's just that the commotion on his side was a bit big, and she was more or less concerned, so she wanted to go and have a look.

But I was afraid of disturbing them.

So she didn't act rashly.

Nan Jinshi looked at the person in front of him who lowered his head and confessed to himself, and felt inexplicably familiar with this scene in his memory. Zeng Xian'er did the same wrong thing and lowered his head to wait for him to blame.

Thinking of this, his attitude eased a little.

"Then go and have a good rest and don't do this kind of thing again."

Xia Luoyang felt a little uncomfortable when she heard the words, she bit her lips tightly to endure the sourness welling up in her heart.

In fact, she is also very clear.

Nan Jinshi's tenderness to her during this period is entirely because she looks like a fairy to some extent.

She knew it because she did it on purpose.

"Nan Jinshi, can you really pretend that you don't know anything?"

Her body trembled slightly, holding back her tears so that they would not fall, and when she raised her head to look at him, her gaze was only determined.

".I do not know what you're talking about."

When the four eyes met, he pursed his lips and silently looked away, selectively ignoring her gaze.

It's just that this heart is aching.

How could he act like he didn't know anything.

That night, her ability evolved, implicating his evolution as well.His ability is originally a very offensive fire, and it is already difficult to control when he advances.

Plus she was delirious and had to pester him.

This back and forth led to the night that shouldn't have happened.

Both of them were wrong, and after that, Nan Jinshi knew Xia Luoyang's feelings for him, but he was destined to be unable to respond.

"you're lying!"

Charlotte glared at him with red eyes.

It was too late when she realized that she liked him when she was delirious, but when she approached him, he regarded her as her sister instead.

It was a night of despair and sweetness for her.

It ended when he called her sister's name one after another.

It wasn't until that time that Xia Luoyang realized that her sister had always lived in his heart.

He suppressed it for three years, and once he started, he couldn't stop, he just kept taking from her, and at that time he really regarded her as Qin Xian'er.

After he woke up and found that the person beside him was Charlotte.

Only then did I realize that I had made a big mistake.

The bed sheet also foretells what happened between them.

Nan Jinshi also felt guilty, after all, it was the first time he took away Xia Luoyang's, even in a muddleheaded situation, but the man's sense of responsibility was at work.

He asked for her first time.

It's just that there is no way to really let Charlotte go.

Especially after that she was still trying to be brave in front of him, which made him feel distressed.

"Luo Yang, calm down. This matter itself."

But before he finished speaking, the soft touch on his lips made him lose his mind for a moment.

She doesn't want to wait.

She's also very calm, and she's always been aware of what role she's playing.

He likes Xian'er, and she likes him.

Charlotte was afraid that after his sweetheart woke up, their nondescript relationship would be broken easily.And he seemed to have the same plan, planning to get rid of her completely.

But she doesn't want to.

She didn't want to lose either side. When facing Xian'er, she was so guilty that she couldn't speak, and even felt that she had no face to see her.

She knew she couldn't be so entangled.

Nan Jinshi also told her that he and Xian'er were engaged as early as three years ago.Could it be that they would have been married if the end times had not come?

This person is her brother-in-law.

But when she was partnering with him, he risked his life time and time again to rescue her from desperation, which made it hard for her not to be tempted by him.

Emotions are a matter of involuntary control.

If you can really control it with your own will, how can there be so much love?
Charlotte's lips trembled.

She was a little clumsy, but she was trying hard to provoke him, and her kiss was also carefully probing, afraid that he would refuse, and even more afraid that he would push her away.

Nan Jinshi's gaze became deeper and deeper.

The extinguished flame was ignited again.

His clenched fists slowly relaxed, and in the end he chose to be the hostess, and he hugged her tightly to her head to deepen the kiss.

fair enough.

Just for the last time.

Let her indulge one last time, and put an end to this relationship that doesn't belong to her.

Charlotte's tears fell down, she did not reject his initiative, she also became bolder despite her previous youthfulness and timidity.

Dry firewood and fire can be ignited at the touch of a button.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes, but she was full of anticipation, hoping to see herself in his eyes, and hoping to get a response.

"Fairy."

Nan Jinshi picked her up and put her on his bed.

He looked at her with fascination, as well as suppressed pain and affection, calling her sister's name tirelessly again and again.

He might not have her in his eyes at all, but she was the one who fell into it first.

It's too late.

She fell in love with him first, and she was doomed to be willing now.

Charlotte closed her eyes in despair and refused to look, while listening to him calling her name again and again.

Nan Jinshi didn't know that he was also gradually falling.

He endured it for three years, not wanting to touch Qin Xian'er all the time, and worried that his actions would hurt her again.

He didn't want to hurt Xian'er anymore.

I don't want to miss it in vain.

Charlotte delivered it to her door willingly, just filling the emptiness and contradiction in this relationship.

She was pretending to be stupid, why wasn't he.

He also wanted to use the last madness to completely cut off all those ambiguous threads.

Until they burned this nostalgia to the end, everyone tacitly agreed not to mention this love that should not have been born.

That's it.

(End of this chapter)