America 1982

Pam was sitting in front of the bar at the Paradise Strip Club in Providence, Rhode Island, watching the TV broadcast of the press conference about Dennis announcing his candidacy for president, and said with some regret:

"What does it say that Dennis can run for president in this country?"

There were only him, Jim, and Tommy in the empty club hall, with little Page acting as the bartender at the bar.

Tommy said next to him: "It shows that the United States is so strong that even if an idiot is elected president, there is no need to worry about him destroying the country."

On the TV, Dennis, who looks like a dog in a suit and leather tie, is being interviewed by a reporter. A reporter asked: "Mr. Dennis Herbs, you have always said that you will become an excellent captain and lead the world ship America." The most magnificent ship sails to the shore of freedom."

"Yes, this is the reason why I stand up for election. America needs a better captain." Dennis responded gently.

The reporter continued: "But some people doubt that maybe under your leadership, the United States will become a giant ship like the Titanic."

"Of course, it will be the same as the Titanic." Dennis agreed, still smiling.

This sentence made the reporters stunned.

"Sir, are you sure you know about the Titanic?" the reporter who asked the question asked again.

Dennis nodded: "I know, of course I know, no one knows the Titanic, the ship that sank, better than me, right? The movie is very famous, and I know the female lead."

"Yes, we all know that you know the female lead. After all, a reporter has photographed you and the female lead in the movie walking in and out of the hotel together." The reporter suddenly found that he could not continue to attack Dennis according to the original rhythm. This guy may not have thought about the public at all. He is using the Titanic to question his ability to govern, so he can only turn the topic to scandal.

Dennis immediately corrected the reporter: "I must explain that although it is true that Ms. Winslet and I were somewhat intimate in and out of the hotel, that was actually because she was a good friend of mine for many years, Major General Glenn of the U.S. Army. Winslet Ms. Wright is a supporter of the LGBTQ community, and Glenn is a member of the LGBTQ community. Although he is biologically a man, his psychological gender is a woman. Of course, I am also a member of the LGBTQ community. I am sorry that I deceived my wife for so many years because of my low self-esteem, but She chose to forgive me, and I now officially declare that I am LGBT, and Glenn is my other half. Admitting these requires courage, just like standing up to govern the United States. If I don’t have the courage to face a mere family emotional problem, what will happen to me? How to face the plight of this country head on!"

"Some people say that I am too close to Ms. Winslet, which is disrespectful to my partner Glenn and me, because Winslet is just a best friend, helping me apply toe oil in the room to make me look at each other. Len is more attractive.”

"Sir... you announced that you came out as gay at the press conference to announce your primary election for president?" The reporter was dumbfounded. It took him a while to come to his senses and stammered.

Pam, who was watching TV, was also a little dazed and asked Tommy: "Dennis and Catherine's marriage is having problems?"

"Not long before he was preparing for the election, Dennis, this idiot, was photographed by reporters making out with Winslet in a hotel room without drawing the curtains. Fortunately, it was not very clear. He could only be seen standing, with Winslet squatting next to him. In front of him, as for whether to bite or apply toe oil, it depends on how he explains it. Dennis did a good job in crisis public relations. The next day, a reporter from Ted released a new high-definition photo. Dennis can be clearly seen in the photo. Being pushed by old man Glenn in front of the hotel window made the black people and LGBTQ community in America have a collective orgasm."

"Not only can we get a large number of votes from these two groups, but we can also tell everyone and Winslet's husband that he is gay and how could a gay have an affair with Winslet. Of course they were just painting their toes."

"Dennis has sacrificed too much to run for president. Will Catherine divorce him?" Pam asked with emotion.

Tommy shook his head: "Catherine doesn't care who Dennis has an affair with, it doesn't matter if he sleeps with a female star, a nigger or an alien. She just wants to be the first lady of the United States. She will not get divorced, she will treat her as a family member." Keep supporting him."

"You should say that Negro Glenn sacrificed too much for Dennis, just like the Martin next to Tommy." Jim next to him said while drinking a high-calorie and high-sugar Coke.

It took the reporter a long time to react and continued to ask: "Let's go back to the Titanic issue. Sir, how do you view this issue? Comparing the United States under your leadership to the Titanic that is about to sink is not an optimistic statement. question."

He was afraid that Dennis wouldn't understand, so he even pointed out the problem specifically.

Dennis glanced around, and then spoke with a heavy expression: "The sinking of the Titanic was not the responsibility of the captain or the passengers. It was the company that made it that cut corners, was corrupt, and made it with cheap steel. It was very bad. Just like the United States now. The journey to freedom is beautiful, of course it is beautiful, and people witness various scenery along the way. I cannot promise that during my tenure as captain, I will be able to accompany all Americans who long for freedom to reach the other side. But I promise that as a U.S. Army officer who has served for many years and loves this country more than himself, what I can promise is that even if the United States really sinks like the Titanic one day, I will try my best to let all passengers board the lifeboats. , and I, as the captain, will persevere until death comes and never retreat."

"Translate, what does this sentence mean, Tommy? Since Dennis entered politics, he has spoken less and less in human words." After hearing what Dennis said, Pam curled her lips and asked Tommy.

Tommy yawned: "It means that even if the United States during his administration will be worse than it is now, he will continue to seek re-election. Even if the United States dies, it will die in his hands."

"Why do you want to run for president?" On the TV, the reporter asked the last question.

"Obvious problem, because the job of president does not require me to have work experience, and on the contrary, if I have eight years of presidential work experience, I cannot run for office. The United States always requires that the president must be a simple rookie and does not need academic qualifications. , I don’t need to be born, as long as I am an American citizen, I am eligible to run for office.” Dennis joked with a smile, and then changed the subject:

"Going back to your question, why am I running for office? Because this is a right granted to every American by the U.S. Constitution. Because I and ordinary people from the lower class like me no longer believe in those who only use sophisticated words to deceive us. Politician, that's why I'm here to fight for American freedom, democracy, race and LGBTQ diversity."

At this time, the box door of the strip club opened, and Dennis walked out with his pants lifted. He did not forget to turn to the dancers in the room and said: "Baby, remember to vote for me. I promise that after being elected, I will give all the strippers There are some preferential policies for this profession.”

"The American people will be very happy to see that you still care about the country and the people when you are sleeping with a prostitute." Tommy said with a sip of whiskey in his mouth.

Dennis came over and sat down next to Tommy: "Please, Catherine and I booked the best nightclub in Boston to hold a party for you, but I can only engage in illegal immigration for the rest of the time?"

"Because the words of illegal immigrants are not enough as evidence, even if they want to tell the American people that they have helped you, they have no chance to gain the trust of the court. For example, the South American girl who accompanied you just now will be deported to the country soon. " Tommy said.

Dennis was picking up the wine glass and frowned when he heard Tommy's words: "No, this is very inhumane."

"So?" Tommy asked.

After Dennis drank the whiskey, he stood up and walked towards the box, hugging the dancer who had just walked out: "Of course, one more shot before she leaves. Come on, girl, I want to visit you again. In the name of diplomacy.”