America 1982

"Do you think if we compile a handbook for fraternity freshmen, there will really be stupid freshmen who take out the money?" Jason opened the small refrigerator, put the cans of beer in Tommy's backpack into it, and asked at the same time.

Tommy's idea of ​​compiling a fraternity freshmen's handbook and selling it to freshmen to earn some extra money for entertainment made his eyes light up.

Tommy nodded affirmatively: "Don't underestimate the freshmen's desire for the mysterious fraternity. Think about it, on Friday night, the lights of all the fraternity houses will be lit up, and the beauties of all the sororities will be wearing Wearing short skirts, revealing healthy and slender legs, and wearing high heels, you are making final preparations for recruiting new students. But as a freshman, you are confused. You don’t know which fraternity’s party is more fun and has the most girls. What do you need at this time?"

"Our manual," Jason said.

Tommy sat on the bed and strummed the guitar that Jason had brought: "Yes, our manual will tell them which fraternity is likely to hold a one-handed girls' bra-undressing competition at a new party, and which fraternity is from a strip club." A mysterious guest was invited so that he no longer had to try his luck alone. He mustered up the courage to open a door and wanted to find a girl. Instead, he walked into the unique honorary fraternity of the school and found that even the college All the professors, including the dean, were having a party like medieval wizards and looked at him with expressions of judgment on heretics."

"I almost believe what you bastard said. How could there be a fraternity recruiting new parties to hold such competitions... But enough of the guys trying to trick sperm into their brains." Jason put the beer in the refrigerator. , said with a smile: "According to most high school students' fantasies about fraternities, they must think it is true."

Tommy strummed the strings twice: "Prepare two copies, one abridged version and one full version. The abridged version will be distributed for free, and the full version will be purchased for a fee."

"What's the biggest difference between the two copies? Why are there two copies?" Jason was stunned for a moment and looked at Tommy.

Tommy said to Jason: "The abridged version introduces the fraternities in the most straightforward terms, making the fraternities look completely the same. The full version gives the answers that the newcomers want. You have to let the payers I think it’s worth the money and it’s best to have an intuitive comparison.”

"So you really know those tricks? I mean the ones that take off the bra with one hand?"

"I don't know, I just made it up casually, so remember to do some normal avoidance of the fraternity name and don't match it."

"Boss, after listening to this gameplay, I think adult movies or magazines should ask you to be a producer. Just from the sound of it, I want to participate." Jason grabbed his crotch and said with admiration: "For American youth With your normal growth, I strongly recommend you to take up the post of editor-in-chief of Playboy."

The fraternities mentioned by the two are the most common student organizations in American universities. Some are notorious, some are famous, and some are low-key and mysterious.

The most common are divided into three types.

The first is a service-oriented fraternity, which has a common outlook on life and is willing to engage in social services and charity activities during college. Basically, it can be understood as a university volunteer organization. If you join this kind of fraternity, you may spend your college career. Work hard to achieve a certain social goal, such as fighting racial discrimination, women's equality, etc.

The second type is a professional fraternity, such as a fraternity formed by students majoring in agriculture, engineering, computer, medicine, etc. Because everyone has the same major and is interested in professional development, they help each other and make progress together. Generally, they prefer to work with Students who exchange professional knowledge and discuss professional development with alumni in the same major and field will consider joining this fraternity.

The third type is the social fraternity. These fraternities are basically the ones exposed in newspapers and news about scandals such as alcoholism and bullying. But at the same time, this kind of fraternity is also the one that freshmen are most eager to join because this kind of fraternity You often maintain friendly relations with many sororities and organize some social activities from time to time, which means that you can have the opportunity to chat with the girls with the best clothes and the most beautiful looks in the school.

These three fraternities will hold various gatherings and parties regularly or irregularly, but the styles are different. Freshmen can also participate in the parties of these organizations when the fraternities recruit new members to understand the basic situation of these fraternities and figure out which brother It will be more to your own taste.

As for the academic honorary fraternity that Tommy just teased, it is relatively rare. Basically, only those academic leaders who have determined to devote their lives to academics since childhood have the opportunity to join. It is very likely that after joining, you will find The president of the fraternity is the dean of your department, and the youngest girl in the fraternity is a female professor who is seventeen years older than you.

The main reason why American college students are keen to join fraternities is because they like to socialize in small circles and get more opportunities to contact girls. As a young adult who is far away from home, joining a fraternity can make it faster To integrate into the new life, of course, the premise is that you can manage your time well and have strong enough self-control. After all, you have to participate in these extracurricular fraternity activities while ensuring that you complete your studies.

Like Stanford University, many local California students go home on weekends, and most of the dormitories and apartments will be empty. If you join a fraternity, there will always be brothers calling you to go over and participate in activities on weekends, so that you don’t have to stay alone. In the dormitory, I masturbated to my roommate’s bed with tears in my eyes.

When you are shopping in San Francisco, a place you are not familiar with, and you encounter trouble, you can also call the fraternity. The brothers in the fraternity will naturally find a way to bring you back, and then publicize all over the world that you are stupid because you refuse to pay the bill. Caught, causing everyone to donate sperm to help you collect money to pay bail and help you become famous in college.

Joining a fraternity means that during your four years of college, you will have several more brothers who have the same hobbies and experiences as you. They will accompany you to do stupid things, accompany you to pursue girls, stay up late with you to prepare for exams, and go through the whole process before entering the society. In the last part of the journey, we finally grow up together and become the hateful, sanctimonious bastards we described before. After many years, we can sit together and laugh heartily, recalling the stupid things each other has done.

Joining a fraternity means that maybe on a boring weekend in your junior year, when you are slumped on the sofa and thinking about whether women are the only ones left in your life, the graduated fraternity boss suddenly appears and tells you rookies about the company he founded. The recent expansion requires a few talents with professional skills. Those of you idiots who are good at a certain major can take a leave of absence from school now, and then while they can squander investors' money, go and start work and accumulate some money and work experience. .

Many years after joining a fraternity and representing college, you have forgotten your experience. One day, you want to change jobs and join a new company to increase your income. When a staid interviewer who you don't know at all reads the interview without any emotion. Your resume. After listening to your brief introduction, you thought that the interview was a failure and there was no hope of a salary increase. However, at the last moment when you shook hands with the other person and said goodbye, you were pleasantly surprised to find that he actually used the secret handshake method of the same fraternity as you. , the other party has a stern face and uses the hidden dangers of shaking hands to tell you: Silly*, are you scared to death? In fact, you were admitted.

Of course, college life can be exciting without joining a fraternity, but a fraternity, as its name suggests, can guarantee that you will meet brothers who have the same preferences as you, and you don’t have to worry about joining a fraternity for too many social activities. Let your academic performance plummet. Most fraternities in prestigious schools have academic performance requirements for their members. Once you find that you are having too much fun and your grades have seriously declined, you will find that the chairman took you to the strip club for fun last night. Today I put on a straight face and handed you a piece of paper, telling you to report to the fraternity's study group. Before your grades return to their peak, in addition to the study group, you will be informed of all other activities of the fraternity. goodbye.

As for the bullying that newcomers who join fraternities will encounter, first of all, not all fraternities are the kind of perverts who like to torture people to death, but there is no fraternity that is easy to join without conditions. Most of the entrance examination tasks are actually some It is a nonsensical and crazy task that makes the participants look stupid. As long as you truthfully report your physical fitness, drinking capacity, food intake, thickness of skin, etc. instead of exaggerating, basically the assessment task is not too difficult. For example, if you are honest If you tell yourself that you can only drink two bottles of beer, you will most likely not be tortured by asking you to blow off a whole bottle of vodka and then run naked for five kilometers. At most, you will run five kilometers in a girl's underwear.

Tommy had joined an Asian fraternity at Boston University in his previous life. In fact, compared to most white fraternities, Asian fraternities use more outrageous methods of torturing newcomers. In the words of Asian fraternities: they are more cruel to themselves. , so that Asians can be braver in the face of white oppression.

At this time, Jason had already taken out a pen and paper, and was leaning on the desk to start compiling introduction materials for each fraternity based on the descriptions of his cousins ​​and uncles. In fact, this thing could only deceive rookies who had no idea about fraternities. Make some quick money.

This guy writes very fast. He said that he had put in a lot of effort to get into Stanford University, and had an in-depth understanding of everything from the school's departments to the prices of various restaurants, not to mention that he had been studying it since high school. The characteristics of the fraternities that are ready to join, the seventeen fraternities can be said to be countless.

After spending a day and using the library's printing center, there were three hundred copies of the "Stanford University Fraternity/Sorority Freshman Handbook" placed in front of the two's flea market stall. There were only thirty thin pages, one The one hundred abridged version has a colorful cover, and the two hundred full version has a parchment-style cover.

However, a hundred free copies of the abridged version were piled messily on the stall, while the full version was neatly stacked next to it. There was also a sign written by Tommy in front of the stall: "Free Freshman Friendship Handbook."

The word free attracted most of the freshmen who came to the flea market to buy second-hand textbooks, and the two manuals with the same name but different covers and placement aroused their curiosity. After some boys asked, they looked at Tommy with an unclear meaning. With a smile on their face, they decisively paid another five yuan to buy the full version, then quickly compared the two, smiled at Tommy and Jason in realization, and turned to leave.

This combination of free and paid methods allowed the two to sell out the manuals in just one and a half days. After deducting the library's printing and production costs, the two earned more than 700 yuan. Jason was as excited as becoming the richest man in the United States. Same, I went to the girls' apartment to inform them that there was a freshman party tonight in the common living room of Hope's apartment, and even added in a low and mysterious voice that drinks would be served.

While Tommy and Jason were working hard to be the first to date girls as freshmen, the head of recruitment for the Sigma Delta fraternity at Stanford University, abbreviated as SSD, was looking at the two handbooks in front of him with an ugly expression. Necessary disputes. All the fraternity abbreviations in the manual were cleverly avoided by Tommy and Jason, but everyone could easily take their seats. At this moment, the person in charge was looking at the introduction of their own SSD:

"Which idiot leaked our secret plan? Why would two freshmen know about SSD's big stunt at a charity party to raise funds for Vietnam War veterans this semester? And they said we would do it at the recruitment party. If If we don’t do it, what will the new students think of us? What’s worse, if other brothers see this manual and think it’s a good gimmick, and they copy it, what are we going to do?”

“But this secret plan is known to only five people in the entire SSD, and it is still in the preparation stage, and the person in charge of the Zeta Sisterhood is still not sure whether there will be twenty girls to cooperate with our one-handed bra removal competition. "The companion next to him looked puzzled.

The person in charge of recruiting new people looked at him: "Where are those two guys?"

"With the money I earned from selling manuals, I am crazy about dating freshmen girls." The companion looked at the person in charge: "Like most impulsive freshmen, he is full of desire for the opposite sex."

"Call Martin, Wright and others, and ask your girlfriend to bring some sexy girls from Zeta. We have to find out from the two new bastards who leaked the secret." The person in charge. Stand up and walk towards the door:

"I don't believe that two freshmen who have just left high school and can only see naked women in magazines came up with these coquettish ways of playing in the manual. I don't know the professional knowledge of these two bastards, but at least I am willing to give them writing They have perfect scores, do you know why? Because I have been playing for three years and the gameplay is not as exciting as the gameplay they wrote above. Just reading these words makes me wary."