American Comics: Opening Guidance Batman

When Gotham just entered the summer, the few green plants began to flourish, and there was still a peaceful scene in the Arkham Psychiatric Hospital.

"Jack, I warn you! If you dare to sneak into my office in the middle of the night again and paint the walls in a mess, I'll cancel your free time for the week, you hear me?!"

Jack squatted in the corner, plucked his ears, and pretended to be deaf. Schiller put his hands on his hips and said to Jack, "I know Batman has started school, and he is busy with his homework now, so he doesn't go out to fight criminals. , so you're also very busy, but that's not why you're doing these annoying pranks in the hospital every day!"

Jack grumbled in a low voice, "A bat doing homework? What the **** are you doing? Do I still have to praise him for being a good baby who went back to the cave to sleep on time?"

Schiller squatted down and looked at Jack and said, "Okay, Mr. Jack, I admit that you are a genius, you are born to do everything, but that doesn't mean everyone is like this, Batman needs to take classes, do homework, and take exams, and Get a college degree, and he's running a company and building Gotham..."

"Boring! Boredom! Boredom!" Jack shouted. "You're going to kill him! You're going to kill Batman, I'm going to save him!"

Schiller tried to reason with him. Jack desperately covered his ears, kept shaking his head, and sang a mess of songs. In general, he had an attitude of "don't listen to the bastards".

The two of them are more like two thousand-year-old foxes. Don't play Liaozhai with anyone. Schiller knows that he can't cure the clown, but he still plays a doctor dutifully. The clown knows that Schiller is not a doctor at all. He was obviously also a patient, so he didn't plan to convince Schiller at all.

In essence, the two of them are also looking in the mirror, there is no need for one to persuade the other, and the two are deadlocked, more like a pastime game in boring time.

But it all ended in one night, when Brand called Schiller, who was sleeping soundly at home.

"Come here quickly, that lunatic with a smiling face on his face committed a kidnapping case. He said he wanted to ask Police Officer Schiller to come and negotiate with him..."

Schiller lay on the soft and warm big bed in his manor, took a deep breath, and said to the receiver: "No need, there is no help, tear up the ticket."

After he finished speaking, he hung up the phone receiver viciously, then put his arms back into the warm bed and continued to sleep.

Within two minutes, the phone rang again, and Schiller rolled over, picked up the receiver and put it in his ear again, and before he could say anything, he said, "Listen, Brand, later, If anyone says the following to you, I hope you turn your head away and don't give them a look."

"Such as 'I'm going to play a game with you', 'Are you going to come and guess a riddle', 'Do you want to really live', etc... As long as you hear these kinds of questions, don't ask anything, don't say anything , give him a punch, then turn around and walk away..."

Schiller was already sleepy talking nonsense, and Brand said helplessly: "You listen to me first, do you know who he kidnapped?"

"It's definitely not you anyway, otherwise you'd already start screaming..."

"He kidnapped the most expensive and state-of-the-art brain wave machine that was delivered just last week! It's the one worth close to $200,000! Now the hammer in his hand is less than 10 centimeters from the machine..."

"Shit, I'll be there soon!"

Two minutes later, the sleepy Schiller stood at the door of the instrument room. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, then took a deep breath.

Jack was sitting in the room and was putting the brainwave-detecting helmet on his head, because he didn't know how to use it, and a patch on it always caught his hair, and he was grinning and pulling at his hair.

Seeing Schiller coming, he grabbed the hammer next to him and shouted, "Listen to the police! I have a hostage in my hand..."

Schiller took out a case book from nowhere and began to write and draw on it. As he wrote, he said, "You're finished Jack..."

Jack sat on the table shaking his head and muttering something. He said, "There will never be a more boring thing than playing the most boring game in the world with the most boring person in the world..."

With a "sizzle", Schiller tore off a piece of paper from the medical record book and said to Brand, "He's recovered, and he will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow morning!"

Brand glanced at the piece of paper, and he gasped.

Early the next morning, Jack swaggered up to Cobblepot and Evans' room to say goodbye. He scoffed at the idea of ​​Cobblepot's Iceberg restaurant and sang two more in Evans' ear. When the young operetta was about to beat him in anger, he proudly took out the medical certificate that could be discharged from the hospital.

Then, in the eyes of the two who wanted to kill, they swaggered out along the gate of Arkham Hospital, and waved and whistled to the two people on the window under the sun.

As a result, before he walked out of the street in front of the door, more than a dozen luxury cars surrounded him, and a group of gang bosses in suits greeted Jack enthusiastically.

Jack looked left and right and found that the situation was not good. He wanted to hug his head and run away on the spot, but he was picked up and dragged into the car.

In front of the window of the office of the attending physician of the Arkham Psychiatric Hospital, Brand looked at the scene and said: "You actually gave him a list of free medical bills, and this time, the boss of the Gotham gangster is afraid that he will not be available for 24 hours. Intermittently went to him to inquire about the way."

Brand looked Schiller up and down and said, "Everyone knows that the attending physician at Arkham Psychiatric Hospital is a vampire, and you're deliberately making a side of him, and they must think he's one of your relatives. Like, he will be treated like a guest by those gang bosses..." Gu Chao

Three days later, Gordon knocked on the door of Schiller's office. After he pushed the door in, he found Schiller writing on his desk. Gordon walked over, knocked on his desk and said, "Professor, I ask you to Can't you get that lunatic away quickly?"

"He hijacked the TV station five times in three days, he..."

As soon as Schiller finished speaking, the news host on the TV screamed again and ran away in a hurry. The clown's face appeared on the TV. He looked even crazier and more haggard. He said, "Come and help me. Save me! Save me, this poor mental patient!"

"The kind psychiatrist, are you there? Look at me, I'm a lunatic, I should be hospitalized..."

Then he rummaged through his clothes, pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and showed it to the camera, he said, "See? This is my medical insurance bill, and I pay so much money every year. !"

"But now, but now... woo woo, I suffer from a serious mental illness, but the only psychiatric hospital in our city is unwilling to admit me, woo woo..." He began to fake crying in front of the camera again.

Suddenly he became manic and he said, "Schiller Rodriguez! You are the most annoying guy in the whole world! You let those gangsters haunt me like flies! You know exactly what I think about that group of people. The most boring person in the world..."

"There is no hope for such a life!" said the clown, with his arms wide open. "The world has turned black... Despair! Despair! Despair!"

He hugged the camera of the TV and said, "Can you imagine? They come every day to ask me how I can make money! This is torture!"

The clown gritted his teeth and said viciously, "They are using their mediocre and boring brains and their stereotyped thinking to torture and abuse me!"

"I set fire to their money and safe, and they laughed and applauded me. This is not a joke at all!"

"They..." The clown's voice suddenly revealed deep powerlessness, "their ordinary scares me..."

There was a cry in his voice: "Luxury cars, wine, women, and money! And that **** money! I'm surrounded by a bunch of lunatics!"

"I ran out, but they always found me..." The Joker cried really sadly, "All of them are talking about these things, they say Gotham gets better and they can make more money money…"

He began to cry more and more sadly, "Everyone is talking about these things, I can't believe it, the world must be crazy..."

"Come and take me away! Take me back to the asylum! I'd rather have a fight with that stupid penguin or a crappy opera singer with no taste than to hear such disgusting talk!"

The clown started retching at the camera. He seemed to be really disgusting, but before he finished retching, a man like a gangster bodyguard rushed up and handed him a glass of water.

The clown showed a "you have seen it all" expression, and then suddenly jumped up, pointing to the glass of water and shouting frantically: "See! They torture me like this! It's like this every day... woo woo... give I prepare food, wine and money to bury me with these things...

He gritted his teeth and shouted at the TV: "Schiller Rodriguez! You **** unscrupulous quack! A mental patient is standing in front of you, can't you see it?!"

"Just let me go! I can go anywhere here! Take me to a mental hospital, hear me?!"

Schiller didn't lift his head, Gordon looked like he had eaten a fly, and he said, "I said before, even if everyone in Gotham is a little crazy, he is so crazy, no one can ask for it. into a psychiatric hospital..."

As soon as he said this, he patted his forehead and said, "Oh, I forgot, now all the gang bosses in Gotham want to come in here."

"Well, Professor Schiller, listen, I don't really care that you turn this place into a gangster's private prison, especially when it's still a little bit good for the law and order, but that doesn't mean you're going to let such a Crazy men are running around the city."

He said bitterly to Schiller, "This is a mental hospital after all, so there should be one or two real mental patients admitted?"

Schiller was still writing with his head down. After a while, he raised his head, shook his neck, and said, "Okay, I can reluctantly reserve a bed for him."

"However, I don't recognize insurance companies here." After speaking, Schiller stood up from his seat, took out the list he just wrote and handed it to Gordon, saying, "This is the repair fee for everything he broke before, as long as Sign this, and I'll put him in the hospital."

Gordon took the list and glanced at the final price. He breathed a sigh of relief, but said, "This... I will pass it on to him, but I don't think a person who is a truck driver would dare to sign it. Such a huge bill."

"You tell him, if he doesn't sign, I'll send this bill to Batman and tell him that his friend Jack the Joker owes me a lot of money, and he refuses to pay, he's a bad guy, It's rotten home."

Gordon sighed and said, "Although I don't know what's the point of you playing this kind of role-playing game, it doesn't matter. Is there still less of Gotham?"

"Don't say this in front of the madman just now. If you let him know that you think his games are normal in Gotham, then he will definitely prepare a huge surprise for you."