Bamboo Forest Manager

Praise

“Phew.”

After what turned into an overnight two-day s*x day,

It’s suddenly 3 PM when we return to the dormitory after lunch.

There’s an ache in my back but more than that there’s a feeling of deep satisfaction.

With only two hours left before my part-time job starts, despite exhaustion weighing down on me heavily,I try somehow to regain focus.

The image of Choi I-seo collapsing into sleep at last flickers through my mind; already fast asleep now,she was enviable indeed.

“Is this what responsibility weighs like?”

It seemed understandable why marriage feels like being on constant defense; fatigue crushes down on one’s body severely.

Of course,I did end up dragging Choi I-seo around quite stubbornly later wanting more…

Anyway,I suppose now Choi I-seo must know what men are like too.

s*x is good stuff.

“Yawn.”

I was tired, but if I fell asleep now, it seemed like I wouldn’t be able to wake up in two hours.

So, with the thought of spending some time doing something, I stepped out of my room.

In the hallway, a group of boys were gathered together, murmuring among themselves.

“What’s going on?”

There were juniors and seniors; none from the English department so there wasn’t anyone with whom relations were particularly strained.

Especially since my close friend O Dae-sang was there too, I naturally joined the group.

“Ah, Woo-jin.”

“You didn’t come back last night.”

“The dorm supervisor said he’d deduct points.”

“Can’t help it.”

It’s not like I could just leave Choi Yi-seo lying naked next to me after points had been deducted. The exchange rate was much more in my favor here.

“But more importantly, why does the atmosphere seem so bad? Why is he crying?”

Hidden by others and unnoticed until now was a sophomore boy looking quite distressed.

“Well you see,”

The story itself was quite simple:

The boy had a girlfriend and they went into a hotel together. But perhaps because he was nervous, he couldn’t get an erection and just left as it was.

“Oh dear, at such a young age.”

Tsk tsking as they clicked their tongues,

How nervous must he have been?

It wasn’t even funny enough to tease him about; even the other guys looked at him with unusually sympathetic expressions today.

“Shit man. When I watch porn alone everything works just fine.”

He protested his innocence but what can you do? Everyone performs well during practice. It’s during the real thing that problems arise.

“What did your girlfriend say?”

At my question everyone’s attention focused sharply,

Probably everyone else had been curious too but hadn’t asked because of the mood,

With an audible gulp swallowing his saliva nervously he cautiously began speaking,

“It’s okay. She actually said she felt sorry…”

“Wow fuckin’ saint.”

“She’s a saint. This guy was dating a saint!”

“So it was divine judgment! He tried to defile a pure woman, so God punished him severely!”

They all exclaimed in alarm.

On the other hand, the girl might have wondered if there was something wrong with her.

A healthy twenty-year-old man.

Whatever it was, he had a nature that led to naughty thoughts, but ironically couldn’t perform in the main event.

“Don’t tease me, you b*stards!”

The atmosphere relaxed somewhat.

Amidst the noisy chatter, I offered my own solution.

“Come visit my shop. I’m starting work in two hours? If you come by, I’ll help you out.”

“…Where do you work?”

Ah, he didn’t know where I worked.

“A s*x toy shop.”

* * *

“Ah, this is troublesome.”

Juhee sunbae (senior), whose shift overlapped with mine, sighed deeply and shared her honest feelings.

“So the girl is making a huge fuss crying and asking what she should do.”

“Tsk tsk, that’s really unfortunate.”

Surprisingly enough to me—the girlfriend of the guy who sought my advice earlier on—

So this girl we called a saint or savior had consulted Juhee sunbae for advice too.

Both were dormitory residents and Juhee sunbae being exceptionally trustworthy among female dorm residents wasn’t strange at all.

“What did you tell her?”

“Just… told her to try hard. I don’t really know much about these things.”

Ah right,

Sunbae is only notorious for fights and quite naive when it comes to relationships—almost embarrassingly so compared to country girls.

But could that even be possible?

It sounds like something straight out of an anime character profile.

“I didn’t realize he’d consult you about his troubles too.”

We already shared information amongst ourselves,

I reassured Juhee sunbae with an “it’s okay.”

“I agreed to help out today. Our store specializes in that sort of thing, after all. So don’t worry.”

“Specializes…?”

He made an awkward face, unsure how to respond, but he didn’t deny it.

“More importantly, senior, I’m really tired; could you make me a coffee? I’ll head straight to the cafe after I clock in.”

“Sure, I’ll bring it over. It’s not far anyway. Ice coffee, right?”

“Yes, thank you!”

As expected from Captain Ju.

His kindness just overflows.

After parting with Senior Juhee and going to work.

The boy who arrived right on time. I greet him with a smile.

“Welcome!”

“This is my first time at a place like this.”

“It’s everyone’s first time usually. It’s naturally awkward. But come here.”

It’s not simply because of physical issues that he can’t get an erection; if he can get one while watching porn then it must be psychological factors at play.

I took him to a place with women’s devices.

From bulky items to bizarre ones.

There was quite a variety and the moment he saw them he shrank back slightly.

“Woah, I’ve only seen these things in videos before.”

“Right? And today you need to buy these guys here.”

At my words, he quickly turned his head and looked at me sharply.

“Why?”

“Why? Because your problem is that you’re nervous. Right?”

“…Yes.”

“You become anxious because you can’t maintain it when you need to; then you get even more nervous—it’s a vicious cycle; won’t it continue like this next time too?”

It might even get worse next time around.

If severe enough due to mental reasons alone could actually lead into real erectile dysfunction.

“The important thing is maintaining the mood. So even if you can’t keep an erection on your own use these devices instead—keep the flow going naturally creating atmosphere and giving satisfaction will ease off some tension returning back your usual self.”

“…”

Despite listening his expression was subtly uneasy.

“But…I’m not really into using devices.”

Then he spat out some pretty ridiculous words.

“It feels like losing to these things. Plus, they’re bigger than me…

“Look at this guy? Who would take such a thing? Just taking a vibrator would be enough.”

“…”

“Besides, humans are tool-using animals. You’ll see, eventually these won’t feel like rivals but more like comrades fighting alongside you.”

“Is that so?”

“That’s right.”

Look at me now.

My back still aches.

If I had such a comrade, it wouldn’t have been this hard.

“Go on, take your comrade.”

As I slapped his back and laughed,

He seemed resolved as he nodded and grabbed one.

“Crazy fool, don’t take the big one.”

It looked like helping him find a comrade was necessary after all.

* * *

“Thank you!”

The next day,

That guy from yesterday came up to me in the classroom where I was resting my chin in my hand.

He brought coffee and cake and said with an utterly bright smile,

“I made it thanks to you!”

“Wow, is this walnut cake! It’s limited edition!”

I passed the cake over to Seo Yerin sitting next to me and just drank my coffee while nodding.

“Yeah, congratulations.”

It seems the plan had worked after all.

Watching him smile so contentedly made me feel quite proud myself.

“Always strive hard and love beautifully.”

“Thanks, Woojin! Really thank you!”

From noble mtl dot come

After thanking me several times over again he finally left.

“What’s got him so happy?”

While Seo Yerin was eating cake beside me, she asked with a curious tilt of her head.

I responded with a benign smile that it was nothing much.

Doesn’t everyone have a past they’d rather not dig into?

“Speaking of which, did your mom say anything about me?”

As I smoothly changed the subject, Seo Yerin scooped up a large piece of cake and popped it into my mouth.

“Not really? Surprisingly, she didn’t say much.”

“Really?”

I thought I had crossed the line quite a bit after we met at the store last time.

‘I was crazy.’

Even if I went with the flow, recommending equipment to my future mother-in-law was something else.

“It’s good that she hasn’t said anything for now.”

“That’s not good at all?”

Seo Yerin retorted sulkily.

In fact, she has been like this for a while now.

I thought she’d be fine because of the cake but turns out she’s been ticking off spectacularly.

“Did you enjoy your day with Lee Seo? You were unreachable all day.”

“Lying wouldn’t work, would it?”

Seo Yerin glared at me as if it were obvious and I honestly replied,

“I enjoyed it. It was really great—ow! That hurts!”

Seo Yerin punched my thigh as she glared at me.

“Geez!”

“So what? Should I have said it wasn’t good?”

“Yes! You should say that! At least when I’m listening you could say that much, couldn’t you?”

If she truly wanted to hear those words sincerely, I wouldn’t mind saying them.

“You’d just go tell Lee Seo if I said that though?”

The important thing was where those words might end up leaking out to.

“…….”

Watching Seo Yerin seal her lips shut gave away her answer already.

“Wow, just thinking about it is thrilling.”

Woojin said he preferred doing things with me more than with Lee Seo.

The moment those words were spoken, it was as if a bomb had dropped.

It wasn’t a joke; Choi Yiseo could have seriously come to kill me.

“It’s really too scary.”

I shudder at the thought of Choi Yiseo asking coldly if I’ve said my last words while mocking me with that icy stare.

“Stop it. Any girl would want to hear such things.”

Seo Yerin whines, leaning on me. She takes a sip of her coffee and pouts her lips.

“Your v*gina is the best, a divine masterpiece. Can’t you say something like that?”

“I assure you, you’re the only one who wants to hear that.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“But don’t men like it when their dicks are complimented?”

Where on earth does she pick up such trashy knowledge?

“Who says that?”

I glance at her incredulously and she rubs her head against my shoulder, shaking it like a puppy.

“Woojin’s is tight and feels good.”

“…”

“And he doesn’t tire quickly; he’s sturdy.”

“Huh.”

Seo Yerin catches the slight smile on my lips. Then she laughs and lifts her head sharply.

“See?! I told you! Men love being praised like that! That’s why I said we should always compliment them!”

“Oh, damn.”

I’m hooked.

But honestly, suddenly I feel much better and my self-esteem has risen too.

Hmm.

Maybe I should use this tactic later too.

If guys like Ahn Hyunho or Jung Chanwoo get upset, let’s praise their dicks first thing!

“Isn’t it similar? Women might also enjoy hearing ‘You taste amazing! Delicious!’ or something.”

“Is…that so?”

My mood definitely improved just now because of it.

I whisper softly enough so others around us can’t hear while glancing at Seo Yerin.

“Yerin, you’re so damn delicious.”

“Hehehe!”

Seo Yerin hugged me tightly, feeling good.

It’s real!

It really worked!

“Ouch. Did you like it that much, Ujini?”

“Yeah, it was really great.”

As I gently hugged her back, Seo Yerin rubbed her face against my chest in contentment.

The anger she had from sleeping with Choi Iseo just a while ago melted away in an instant!

‘This makes life too easy.’

Is this what it feels like to discover a cheat code?

Now, I could manipulate people’s emotions.

Ugh!

Just then my phone rang.

– Yu Arin: You asshole haven’t contacted me at all?

Like Seo Yerin, Yu Arin was also angry. I smirked and immediately sent a message back.

– Kim Woojin: Arin is so delicious that I want to eat her again.

“Hey, Kim Woojin.”

After sending the message with satisfaction and turning around, there was Ahn Hyunho frowning at me.

“Stop showing affection in the classroom. That’s why weird rumors are spreading.”

“Rumors?”

“Rumors like you stripped your pants off in the classroom. Sigh, keep it moderate. You’re tarnishing the English department’s image because of this.”

That’s just a baseless rumor.

I replied to Ahn Hyunho’s grumbling with a sly smile.

“I saw him in the bathhouse; this guy is pretty solid?”

“……”

A moment of silence.

Ahn Hyunho stared blankly at me then clenched his teeth and fists before saying,

“You b*stard come out here; today won’t end just like that.”

“I heard that most people take it well if you compliment their peppers?”

As I explained this while trying to detach Seo Yerin who was rubbing against me, Ahn Hyun-ho crumpled his face and retorted.

“You, would you feel good if I complimented yours?”

I briefly imagined it.

“Ugh! Want to die?!”

I almost threw up.

“That’s exactly what you just did to me. It’s really lucky for you that I’m nice, otherwise I would have hit you already.”

“…Thanks for that.”

But wait a moment.

Buzz!

Buzz!

Buzz!

A series of alarming messages came in.

Swallowing hard, I sneak a peek at them:

– Yoo Arin: Where are you?

– Yoo Arin: I’ll pick yours today.

– Yoo Arin: You’re dead.

“Ah, screwed.”

Slapping my forehead, I let out a deep sigh.

Only now returning to reality, I glance resentfully at Seo Yerin.

“Woojini is sometimes smart.”

He teasingly smiled and stuck out his tongue.

“But often stupid.”

“Come here, Seo Yerin.”

I grabbed her cheek and pulled hard.

“Haha ha!”

(Don’t!)

“You playing with me?! Do you know the embarrassment I just suffered because of you? Now Ahn Hyun-ho thinks he’s been s*xually harassed by me!”

“Oh man, shit.”

Ahn Hyun-ho immediately ran away.

“Yuarin is also asking where I am to kill me!”

As I tugged her squishy cheek back and forth, Seoyerin reached out her hand, refusing to be outdone.

“Stop it!”

(Die!)

Seoyerin had precisely grabbed my lower body. Although I was sitting down and had both pants and underwear on,

Squeeze!

When she exerted force, the intense pain made me immediately let go of her hand.

“Ha, I surrender.”

“You’re surrendering too quickly, aren’t you?”

Seoyerin looked incredulous but couldn’t help it since it was such a sensitive area.

“Hurry up and let go.”

“You’re dead!”

“aaah!”

Damn you!