Crazy Dave Of Konoha

"Hey, can you tell me what feces smells like?"

....

In Tobirama's experimental base... a crowd of people gathered around an experimental table, on which sat an Uzumaki with a face covered in white... It had no facial features, but it could make sounds...

"Where did this thing... come from??" Hashirama looked at Madara aside in confusion and asked.

"Things tested with your cells..." Madara shook her head and said helplessly.

"Things made with my cells...then isn't he my son?" asked the witty Hashirama with his eyes shining.

"Son? You are my mother! Mom!!"

The thing on the experimental table jumped and fell on Hashirama.

"You are the mother...then he is the father! Dad!" Then, this thing looked at Madara on the side. It seemed that the first thing it saw after becoming conscious was Madara, then...you are the father!

....

Dave looked at this familiar white thing from behind...his face was speechless...

Madara had nothing to do because Hashirama had been hospitalized for the past two days. She thought of the ugly man's face on her chest and Hashirama's cells, so she came to Tobirama's experimental base to mess around with Hashirama's cells with Tobirama, and made a Such stuff.

"By the way, mom and dad, you...can you tell me what feces smells like? And what does it feel like to defecate?" Uzumaki asked, tilting his face and looking at the two of them with confusion.

The smile on Hashirama's face stopped abruptly, this guy... is so weird... Also, why am I a mother? Madara, he is the father!

Madara raised her eyebrows helplessly...

"This is the most special one among all the experimental subjects... the rest are okay. It can communicate independently, but it is not as intelligent as it is." Tobirama shrugged and said helplessly.

"Since it is so special, let's give him a name. How about calling him A Fei?" Dave said with a smile.

"A Fei! Is my name A Fei?" A Fei tilted his head and asked in confusion.

"Well, you can call me Fei from now on." Tobirama nodded.

"Oh~ Ah Fei would like to ask, what does it feel like to have a bowel movement?"

"...Black Zetsu, come to the experimental base." Dave immediately called Black Zetsu. It is better to leave this matter to Black Zetsu.

"No, I'm busy here." "The black one, yes, you, there's still some shit here, come and take it away!" "Right away!" There was a sound of exchange from Black Zetsu's side.

"If you don't want free labor, forget it," Dave said with a pity.

"Wait for me! I'll be there soon!" Black Zetsu hung up the phone, put aside the load of manure, and rushed over here. Free labor! He has always wanted to get one!

a moment later

"White Zetsu?" Black Zetsu looked at the familiar thing in front of him. Wasn't this the thing his mother made with the sacred tree thousands of years ago? How come this thing appears here?

"Huh? You look like Ah Fei, except you are so dark. But my name is Ah Fei! Not White Zetsu! By the way, do you know what it feels like to have a bowel movement?" Ah Fei looked at the Black Zetsu in front of him and used his hands to He asked, gesturing with doubt.

"...."This thing is so weird...

"By the way, there's a bunch of White Zetsu over there, leave it to you, we don't care," Dave said, pointing to the warehouse over there.

....

afternoon

"Today! Our dung picking brigade! We are officially established!" Black Zetsu carried a flag with the four characters "dung picking brigade" sewn on it and looked at the crowd in front of him. White Zetsu shouted.

"Oh!!" All the White Zetsu raised their hands and shouted.

"A Fei! From now on! You will be the captain of the feces picking brigade! Don't you want to know what it feels like to have a bowel movement? You will feel it through hard work!" Black Zetsu handed the flag in his hand to A Fei beside him, full of satisfaction He said with a heavy face.

"Yes! Ah Fei listens to the order! Ah Fei will definitely understand what it feels like to have a bowel movement!" Ah Fei saluted, took the flag from Black Zetsu, and said with a heavy voice.

"I will be the commander-in-chief of the excrement picking brigade from now on! The one who issues orders to you! By the way, the money earned from excrement picking must be handed over to me every day! Do you understand?" Black Zetsu turned his head and looked at All the White Zetsu shouted.

"clear!!"

"Let's go! Team 1! East Head of Konoha! Start from the house of Widow Ueda! Team 2! West Head of Konoha! Start with the Senju clan! Team 3! North Head of Konoha! Start with the Uchiha clan! Team 4! Konoha Nantou! Start with the Hyuga clan! Gogogo!" Black Zetsu shouted.

"Bleeding, sweating, but not excrement! Losing skin and flesh, but not losing burden! Long live the dung-picking brigade!! Long live the leader of Black Zetsu!!" The White Zetsu brigade shouted slogans and advanced in four directions.

Black Zetsu looked at the scattered White Zetsu and the unprecedented grand occasion of the large piles of White Zetsu. Black Zetsu nodded with satisfaction.

From now on, I, Black Zetsu, will control the shit in Konoha! No one is trying to take my job away from me, Black Zetsu!

Wait for my mother to come back! Unify the ninja world! The excrement of the ninja world! They will all be controlled by me, Black Zetsu! a ha ha ha! ! Black Zetsu was thinking wildly in his heart...

It’s like what Dave said! Um...what are you talking about? ...uh...right! I! Black Zetsu! Monopolize feces!

"What are you doing here? Why don't you follow me and pick up the shit together?" Black Zetsu looked at A Fei who was still in a daze and asked in confusion.

"A Fei is thinking... what it feels like to have a bowel movement..." A Fei squatted on the ground, his face full of thought... Although you can't see his face...

"Get out! Follow up and pick up the manure!" Black Zetsu kicked him up. Ah Fei gave Ah Fei a hateful look, then randomly found a team and ran over carrying a big flag.

Seeing no one around, Black Zetsu nodded with relief. Then he got a rocking chair from somewhere and lay on it, shaking the cattail leaf fan in his hand, with a contented face.

I finally understood what that kid meant by the capitalist’s happiness.

the other side

"Boy, can you bring over the other zombies in my world to help me? Orochi Lu has only a few people there, and they are too busy." George, the Zombie King, called Dave and said very unhappily.

"Uh... OK..." Dave was stunned for a moment, OK, he can control these things anyway, and he's not afraid of causing any trouble.

After hanging up the phone, George smiled evilly, "Hey, wait until my zombie army comes to this world!" It will be me, Elgar George, who has the final say! Hahaha! ! When the time comes, that damn little Dave, I will make him pinch my feet and hit my back every day! Hahaha!

"Orochi, I'll leave for a while." George said hello to Orochi and left here first.