Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 95 – Florida Man Robs Chinese Temple With Unicorn, Steals Only Apple Juice

Taxi was efficient when he didn't need to follow Leo's pace. He charged through the floors as if he was a rapid train on crack. Within five minutes, Taxi and Leo reached the 150th floor.

Unfortunately, there was no statue this time. Instead, they found a fountain of green water.

Taxi stopped running. It trotted toward the fountain in a trance. Leo also got down from Taxi's back and inspected the weird water. He looked at it.

"Hmm?"

He had seen them before. The smell, the texture, and the bubbles looked the same.

As Leo got closer to the fountain, the system identified the liquid for him.

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Pinnacle Grade Yin Poison Potion 

- Increase Yin Element Qi by 10 years' worth of cultivation (10cc)

- Grant immunity to all poison.

- Increase Poison Element Qi by 20 years' worth of cultivation (10cc)

- Add poison to blood.

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The detail was a lot different from the lesser yin poison potion that he had sold to Jin Yong. Leo thought about it and bitterly laughed as he hadn't made this potion for a long time.

"I guess this is a checkpoint or something. But isn't this realm supposed to be specialized in wood and earth Qi? Why the hell is the poison potion here?"

While Leo mumbled to himself, Taxi drank the potion in glee. He slurped and splashed the potion everywhere with his long tongue.

Leo rolled his eyes and shook his head. He put down his backpack and brought out a water canteen. Then, he drank the leftover high-grade rejuvenate tea. He drank everything in the canteen.

After rejuvenating himself with a soft drink, Leo used the same canteen to store the poison potion. He also drank a mouthful of it.

It tasted like apple juice, and it was freezing cold.

Getting addicted to the apple juice, Leo brightly grinned. He purchased an empty water tank from the online shopping system and stored more poison potions in the container. Although Leo could have made them by using the alchemy workshop, he couldn't resist the free stuff.

In the end, Leo filled half of the 1500-gallon tank and emptied the fountain. Taxi pouted and looked at Leo in frustration.

"…Smash."

Leo laughed at Taxi, "Don't be mad. This is our backup water supply while we're climbing the tower. Don't you wanna drink it when we're going up? Because the fountain is here, we can't climb the tower while we're enjoying such a quality beverage at the same time, right? Therefore, we store the water there, and we bring it along our journey!"

"SMASH! O_O"

"That's right. I'm a genius."

Both man and horse laughed. Still, they forgot about one issue. As the massive water tank was as tall as Taxi, someone had to carry it.

The troublesome task fell to Leo as Taxi had no saddle or tools to carry the water tank. Leo sighed and lifted the tank. Then, he put it on his shoulder vertically, maintaining its balance. With the tank on his shoulder, Leo strode with a quick pace, dashing and leading Taxi to the next floor.

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Because of the water tank, it took Leo 10 minutes to reach the 200th floor. Upon reaching this level, Leo and Taxi encountered another weird checkpoint – They found a 5-meter-tall rabbit statue. It stood on two hind legs while its four arms held a sword, a wand, a spear, and a shield. The rabbit's face was heinous as it had six eyes and a wide mouth that reached its ears. The cute teeth were replaced with sharp fangs that resembled shark fangs.

Leo narrowed his eyes as he remembered that the boss of this realm was the Rabbit Trent King. He believed that the statue represented something related to the boss.

"SMASH!!"

For the first time, Taxi bore his teeth. His unicorn horn emanated visible static electricity, charging his lightning Qi and getting ready for a fight.

The statue on this floor represented a rabbit trent. Rabbit Trents and Thunder Unicorns were sworn enemies. They vied to take control of this realm for centuries. So far, the war was in the rabbit trent's favor as the rabbit trents had an advantage over the unicorns. Although the unicorns' firepower was superior to the trents, the tree monsters were not easy to kill. Rabbit Trents specialized in physical defense and regenerative abilities, making them impossible to kill in one or two strikes. Moreover, it could leech life force from its prey, and it could easily overpower any unicorn in a prolonged battle.

Seeing Taxi's reaction, Leo widely grinned. He put his backpack and water tank down.

"Finally, a warm-up exercise?"

Leo approached the statue, hoping to trigger something. As he got closer, the rabbit statue moved and looked at Leo.

RUMBLE

The stone statue transformed into a wood statue. The rabbit stretched its arms and widened its mouth.

WIGGLE

A hundred wood vines came out from the rabbit's mouth as if they were carnivorous parasites. They thrust toward Leo with their sharp tips.

"Oh, so this is why you're called "Trent"."

Leo took a side step to the left and avoided the vine thrust.

BOOM

The vines punctured through the floor.

SCREECH

The rabbit turned its head right and swing the vines toward Leo. The vines dug out a portion of the floor tiles and came toward Leo.

WHOOSH

The swing went through the afterimage of Leo. He was no longer there.

The rabbit rotated its eyes, searching for the prey. However, it could only see the unicorn, who was busy charging its horn's energy. As the rabbit could no longer see Leo, its attention focused on Taxi.

"SMASH!!"

Taxi roared and unleashed a yellow railgun beam toward the rabbit's chest.

BANG

The beam connected, charring the rabbit's chest. However, it was not enough to kill the monster. The rabbit detached the vines from its mouth, and its arms extended.

The two arms with a sword and a spear swung its weapon at Taxi!

PLOP

Unfortunately, the extended arms suddenly fell off and withered. Not only the two arms, the rabbit's body, legs, and the other two arms rapidly shrunk.

On the rabbit's head, Leo sat there while his hands held the rabbit trent's ears. A stain of his spit was inside its right earhole.

The rabbit was confused. It slowly collapsed and lost all its strength, withering like a dead flower.

Leo jumped down from the rabbit's head. He looked back and patted his clothes. Then, he put on his gloves. Meanwhile, Taxi widened his eyes and stared at Leo in astonishment. He couldn't believe that its sworn enemy died so easily.

"Smash!?"

Taxi questioned Leo about how he managed to kill the rabbit trent so easily. The trent had the same cultivation base as Taxi, but he had never been able to take down a rabbit trent in one attack before.

"Ah, that?" Leo scratched his head. He paused for a while before he came up with an explanation. "I have a dryad pet, so I know how to deal with plant monsters. That's all."

"Smash?"

"Yes, a dryad."

"Smash?"

"And yes, she's a virgin female monster… Hold up."

"SMASH? XD"

"HELL NO! She's a child, for god's sake! You need Jesus!"

"Smash. D:"

"What the hell?! Who do you think I am? She's like my freaking daughter, you freak. Of course not, you cannot date her or procreate with her!"

"…Smash. T-T"

Leo and Taxi bickered for a while as Taxi never stopped inquiring about the mysterious dryad pet that Leo kept at home. In the end, Leo was mentally exhausted and took a break on this floor, calling it a night.

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While Leo and Taxi had fun in the tallest pagoda tower, Situ Nantian's explored the mysterious mountains. Inside a small cave of the tallest mountain, they found a treasure trove of a predecessor, who got stuck in this realm.

Situ Nantian and Situ clansmen inspected the wall and the bones of the former resident here. The former read the texts, written with the blood.

"I've failed to steal the gnosis of this world. I managed to sneak into the triangle building and got a few pieces of artifacts from that place, but it got poisoned because of those rabbit trents. If anybody is reading this, be careful of that building. There are several 9th-rank rabbit trents in there. The forest is also dangerous. I saw a few 9th-stage thunder unicorns and unicorn caimans in the river. Avoid them if you can't defeat them. I hope my advice can save your life, and my good karma is enough for me to reincarnate."

Situ Nantian frowned and gazed at the dried blood. He closed his eyes and asked his subordinates.

"Do you know who the dead person is?"

One of the clansmen placed a white talisman on the skeleton's forehead, and it shone. A white wisp of energy flowed from the corpse to the clansman's head, transferring a portion of the memory of the dead person.

After digesting the information, the subordinate reported.

"This man was a celestial physique stage cultivator. I can't learn of his name, but he's one of many bottom feeders of a nameless immortal world."

"Celestial Physique Stage?"

"Umm, it's the first stage of the immortal ranks, sir. From this man's memory, there are nine immortal stages. I managed to learn only one stage."

Situ Nantian nodded as the memory extraction talisman was difficult to use. Moreover, the dead cultivator died a long time ago, and his soul was no longer there. Getting this much information was already a miracle.

Everybody waited for Situ Nantian's order. They wondered if they should follow the immortal's advice and avoid the mysterious triangle structure.

The grand elder deeply sighed. If an immortal like this person couldn't make it, they wouldn't have a chance. Since they couldn't explore the pyramid, Situ Nantian could only search for another place to gather treasures and artifacts.

"Is there another record beside the wall?"

The clansmen searched the corpse and found three spatial rings. They were locked, and they couldn't forcefully unlock them as they were too weak. The rings were presented to Situ Nantian.

Seeing the rings, Situ Nantian was satisfied. Even if he couldn't unlock them now, they could extract whatever items inside later once they studied the rings enough.

"We found a book, grand elder!"

That was not all. One of the clansmen stripped the skeleton's clothes and found a book. He brought it to Situ Nantian to gain some credits.

Situ Nantian picked up the book and flipped it. He read a few words and narrowed his eyes.

"Power of Gnosis?"

He had never heard of the word "Gnosis" before. His interest was piqued, and he kept on reading. Then, he flipped over to read the title of the book.

Dao of Overlord

"…"

A faint smile appeared on Situ Nantian's face. As he finally found a way to ascend and become an immortal.

According to the book, anyone who managed to acquire the gnosis of the mystic realm's overlord would gain permanent access to the realm. In addition, all Qi in the realm would be transferred to the new overlord, allowing the person to get stronger.

Greed overwhelmed Situ Nantian. His passion was ignited.

"Say, does anybody here know anything about gnosis and the rabbit trents?"