General Man: My Days Are Not Too Ordinary

The favorite situation for people with major depressive disorder is living in their own world.

The sound of rain outside, the crackling of windows, gently lifted curtains, and the ticking of clocks on the verge of end.

This dimly lit bedroom may have been eclipsed by the loss of that ivy flower.

It was originally a bedroom for two people, but at this time, it belonged to the girl who was cowering in the corner and crying.

At the feet are torn dolls and confetti.

Only one notebook survived.

Nails rolled up, and the withered white hand mixed with confetti cotton picked up the notebook.

Page by page.

There are sad conversations looking for friends.

There are apologies that blame yourself for being too useless.

There is also self-loathing of first depression.

Then the man walked into his gray world.

It was the first time since birth, when her father was gone, her mother was strict, and others hated the world, that she felt alive.

A bottle of juice made her laugh sweetly.

There is a large number of handwriting on the page that belongs to two people.

Home, life, interests, and troubles are all told here.

The teenager's troubles were very many, even if it was fake, but she listened carefully and taught him how to solve them with her inexperienced life.

Then, perhaps infected, she also began to talk about her troubles.

She said: "I hate myself. But

the teenager told her on June 7 of that year, her birthday, that she was the loveliest person in the world and the most worthy of liking.

That time, her soul belonged.

With his encouragement, in the rest of her life, she did not care about the bullying of others.

Because, he can always come to the rescue in time.

Day and night I thought about the boy.

In the fragile mental world on the verge of collapse, he was forged and tenacious.

She longed to stay by his side.

She prayed that he would not leave.

Perhaps her greed was retaliated against.

Finally, she still understood that her fragile self, her own who could not be heard by her voice, and her self who brought disaster to people by the broom star were not worthy of such a person.

Little by little, his own filth permeated his world, destroying the beautiful world he had painstakingly constructed.

Even though he didn't care at all, fortunately she finally realized that she was a demon.

A demon worthy of disgust who hates himself, but does not want to parasitize on others!

"Hiss——!"

Under the sound of tearing at the rush.

The pages flutter in the sinking space.

It's like congratulating the past on turning into nothingness.

Only the last page remains.

Fresh handwriting engraves memories that cannot be forgotten.

[1992]

[On March 6, he found me in that familiar corner of the world. 【

On April 15, we exchanged troubles and got to know each other better. 【

On May 25, he learned sign language! 】 I was happy to reconverse with him in sign language about the topics I had talked about in my notebook! It's all to blame on me, I can't think of a new topic at all. 【

June 7th, how did he know that today is my birthday?】 However, he gave me a pot of ivy seedlings, claiming that the flower was my symbol. I love it! 】

......

【1997】

【Today is September 20.】 [

Finally, it's my farewell day to the world and his farewell. 【

In more than five years, the ivy flower has also grown into a beautiful flower, and even if it withers with the change of seasons, it always returns to its original beauty. 【

Unfortunately, this flower is not my symbol.】 【

I can't recover from the withered me.】 【

The cost of keeping me alive is impossible to rely on my mother's meager income.】 【

Grandma, your perilla juice is really delicious! 】 It's my favorite drink! 【

Mom, I've been really causing you trouble!】 】

【Yuzuru, I want to live like a girl in the future! 】 【

And...】

【I'm really sorry to like you!】 【

Everyone! I'm really sorry! 【

So... Goodbye!

Thunder light illuminated the page placed on the desk for a moment through the window.

The owner of the handwriting is no longer in this empty bedroom.

The steps of the declaration of life sounded weakly.

Cluttered, waddling.

The girl hiding in the darkness stepped on a stool and stood on the balcony.

Like an angel, she spread her wings, closed her eyes, and beat freely by the rain.

The foggy rainy night was really a good scenery to say goodbye.

With her feet in the puddle, she finally stood on the edge of the world.

The cold wind blew up her thin dress, and it sank because of the rain.

The temperature of the cheeks was scraped and the body trembled.

It's okay.

Not cold at all.

If you fly down, everything is not worth caring about.

But.

Why, does the heart hurt?

It really hurts, it hurts.

Why, his figure keeps coming to mind.

Don't laugh, don't laugh!

Please look at me indifferently and look at me like a stranger!

I wish I could finally hide in your arms....

Perhaps, the front is his embrace?

Perhaps, he is right ahead?

A hint of longing appeared in the girl's eyes, and she looked into the void under the rain, fantasizing that he was in front of her.

She smiled like an angel, flapped her wings, and took a step forward!

"Hula-" The

fourth floor is only 12 meters high, and it is not necessarily enough to fall to death.

But as long as she is head to the ground.

The angel is swooping down.

The heavy dress is fluttering!

The open wings tore through the rain and cold wind.

That's nice.

It's good to die in his arms.

With the last thoughts.

She closed her eyes, smiled and waited.

In the time of these few seconds.

My mind crossed my mind and got along with him again and again.

At last.

She also mischievously corrected a point.

Stupid, he also said that jumping off the building will regret when he is about to land.

Obviously very happy....

It's just very heartache and reluctance.

The cold rain hit the corners of her eyes, but it became warm.

"Bang !!"

The heavy smashing sound was masked by thunder!

The imaginary sharp pain of fragmentation did not appear.

The consciousness that should have been lost all of a sudden still exists.

The girl's smile stiffened.

Her dream just now seemed to come true.

The cold rain could not hide this warm and obsessive embrace.

She slowly opened her eyes.

I saw under the dark clouds of flickering thunder.

Under the ravages of heavy rain.

Those dark eyes.

His handsome short hair dripped rain, and his eyebrows were dripping with water.

The skin is soaked in rain and is somewhat puffy.

He must have stood for a long time on this rainy day, right?

Why?

Unspeakable questions came to the girl's mind.

She wanted to shout out, but she was choking.

She showed a crying expression with grievances.

She curled up in his arms and cried!

"Woooooooo!!oo

The mournful cry completely tore the icy rain to pieces!

Let the surrounding dead qi finally come to life.

The boy sat on the ground, held her dead in his arms, and used his body to block the cruel rain.

He caressed her hair and picked up her head, face to face, transmitting each other's warmth.

"Stupid."

"What to cry."

"You're dead."

"So, in the future, your self-loathing life will belong to me."