Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

Jing Huan went home, poured a cup of hot water and then took the medicine. Afterwards he climbed into bed while carrying his laptop and dragged his blanket up to his shoulders.

After wiggling into a comfortable position, he looked up and found that the characters in the game were all motionless.

The two of them had stopped near Qingxuan Terrace and stood quietly, one behind the other.

Jing Huan disabled following mode and twirled around Yearning For twice.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Gege?

No response.

Maybe he had to go do something. Jing Huan didn't care. He turned over and played on his cellphone.

When Xiang Huaizhi returned to the dormitory, Lu Hang was sitting on his bed looking for something.

"Where did you go this evening?" Hearing some noise, Lu Hang turned around and looked at him with a confused expression.

Xiang Huaizhi was too lazy to find another excuse and used the same one as before. "Night jog."

Lu Hang was even more confused. " It's half past ten, and you put on a thick coat to go for a night jog?"

"Can't I?"

Lu Hang frowned and said, "You can."

If you wanted to go for a night flight, you could too.

He found his wallet and put it in his pocket. "Xiangxiang, I'm going to stay next door tonight. I have an appointment with them to play cards all night. Don't miss me too much."

Xiang Huaizhi nodded. "The best thing would be if you played for an entire week."

"How could I give you up?" Lu Hang opened the door and walked out half way, not forgetting to leave a last word. "After I win the money, I'll treat you to a good meal tomorrow."

Xiang Huaizhi had just put on his headphones and didn't clearly hear what he had said. "Close the door."

Xiang Huaizhi saw that the person in his team had disabled following mode and was standing beside him.

He opened the chat channel that had a record of Jing Huan calling him Gege, and the time stamp was 10 minutes ago.

Jing Huan was woken up by the clatter of his cellphone falling to the ground.

He immediately opened his eyes. His eyes were dazed and the corners of his eyes were red due to sleepiness. The light above his head was so strong that he couldn't help squinting, and after awhile, he finally properly woke up.

Jing Huan turned over and reached down with his hand. He managed to find his cellphone on the ground after a few swipes, and the first thing he did after pulling it up was check the time.

4:23.

No way ba.

He slept all the way into the afternoon??

He covered his eyes and gently rubbed them, then unlocked the phone to read his messages.

Xiang: I went to the supermarket temporarily, just came back.

It was sent at half past ten yesterday.

Xiao Jing ya: Gege, I fell asleep last night QAQ Good afternoon…

At the top of the chat box, the "typing" prompt appeared. Jing Huan laid still and quietly waited for a reply.

Xiang: Afternoon?

Xiang: It's 4:30 in the morning right now.

Jing Huan was stupefied. He pulled open the curtains around him and had a look… It really was.

Xiao Jing ya: I got it wrong T▽T!!

Xiao Jing ya: …But Gege, it's already 4:30 in the morning, why haven't you slept yet?

Xiang Huaizhi didn't understand why he couldn't fall asleep.

However, he wouldn't force himself to sleep if he couldn't sleep. He had no class the next day anyway, so he simply took his laptop to bed and opened a movie to watch.

Just after starting a second movie, the screen of his cellphone lit up.

Xiang: Was watching a movie, why are you awake.

Xiao Jing ya: My cellphone fell on the floor, really scared me…

Xiang Huaizhi imagined the scene and the tight corners of his mouth finally loosened up a bit.

In recent days, the temperature had dropped so much that it had started to rain in the middle of the night. Xiang Huaizhi was sleepy and hadn't turned on the light the entire time. The light of his computer and cellphone were the only lights in the room.

Xiang: En, keep sleeping.

Xiao Jing ya: Okay, Gege should also go to sleep soon ah, good night.

It was the second good night tonight.

Xiang Huaizhi typed out an “En”, then thought of what Jing Huan had said that night again.

After a while, he lowered his eyes and deleted the word “En”.

Xiang: Good Night.

Xiang: Put your cellphone away, see you tomorrow.

This should… Be warm enough ba.

Xiang Huaizhi had never deliberately changed his attitude towards anyone before, so he was a bit unsure. His fingers trembled over the emoticon selections.

Xiao Jing ya: (*°▽°*)??

Xiao Jing ya: Okay, rub rub.

Xiang: En.

Jing Huan looked at this "En" word and wondered if he was dreaming.

Did Yearning For know what 'rub rub' meant?

Before, he didn't even let him send over kissing emoticons!

Maybe it was because the cellphone hitting the ground was too loud, or maybe it was because the sound of the rain outside was noisy, but Jing Huan suddenly felt unable to sleep.

So he just turned over. The laptop in front of his pillow was still on, and Yearning For had taken him to Fairyland. They stood on the bridge at the very top of the map. It was a very remote location, but there were many people around.

Seeing that Don't Ask when I'll Return was also next to them, Jing Huan reflexively opened the guild WeChat group

Sure enough, he saw his name after scrolling just a bit.

Don't Ask when I'll Return: [screenshot] These two are already in the stage of their relationship where they can just AFK as a team in Fairyland!

Peachy Fate: … In the future, if any Guild Officer in our guild can't help but want to kill Return, please don't involve our team. Other people are innocent, just kill him.

Don't Ask when I'll Return: How could that happen, Guild Officer Qiufeng is so easygoing, Yearning For won't look at the chat, and Xiao Tianjing definitely won't blame me. [shy]

Qiufeng: That's not actually true. [kitchen knife]

Affectionate in Silence: The position they're standing is so precarious, how do you know they're AFKing?

Don't Ask when I'll Return: Saw it on the forum. One screenshot can get those people to post 200 comments, God Xiang is really awesome.

…….

Jing Huan had already gotten used to Don't Ask when I'll Return's habits by now. His heart was completely calm and he opened up the forums.

Don't Ask when I'll Return was right. The original poster of the thread did only send one picture and put mosaic on his character image.

He moved his mouse and quickly scrolled through the posts.

11L: What's strange about this? A couple team AFKing in Fairyland, don't we already have enough dogfood.

12L: The key point is that these two are not a couple.

33L: Why post and occupy forum resources? Isn't Xiao Tianjing going after Yearning For a well known thing?

38L: … But the team leader is Yearning For ah. However you look at it, it was Yearning For who took Xiao Tianjing to Fairyland ba?

47L: Replying to 38, who knows how pestering and spoiled Xiao Tianjing can act in private… It's probably Yearning For being annoyed and giving into her ba.

Jing Huan read to that point and closed the post.

Although he kept trying to hypnotize himself, saying that the ID of Xiao Tianjing wasn't the same person as him, it was obviously not successful. At the very least, he tended to get annoyed reading these kinds of posts.

Annoyed to the point where he couldn't sleep.

A few seconds later, he opened the game interface and angrily pressed "leave the team".

Tomorrow, he could just say that he disconnected.

Thinking up that excuse, he manipulated the little fox fairy to walk towards the exit of Fairyland.

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …….

So the reason why you, honored elder, aren't sleeping is because you're just fixedly staring at the game???

[Friend] Yearning For: Weren't you going to sleep?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …The rain outside was too noisy, I couldn't sleep.

[Friend] Yearning For: Then what are you going to do.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Don't know, go stroll around ba.

[Friend] Yearning For: It's past 12 o'clock, do you want to do dailies?

Dailies, dalies, besides dailies what else can you do!

Boring slag man!

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Don't want to do it. These past few days, if it hasn't been fighting, then it's been dailies; I already don't want to see the sect master anymore. QAQ

[Friend] Yearning For: Then who do you want to see.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Want to see Gege (*^▽^*)

As soon as he sent out those words, the black robed man on the bridge moved.

[Yearning For invites you to join his team. Yes, No. ]

"…"

Fuck.

Laozi was just being polite, I didn't really want to see you ah!

Xiao Tianjing had only escaped for two minutes before he was captured into the team again.

Jing Huan really wanted to take a screenshot and show it to those blowhards in the forum.

It's your God Xiang who invites me out every day, okay!!!

I definitely didn't want to AFK in a team with him!!

Because he had been silent for awhile, Xiang Huaizhi's voice was a bit hoarse. "Not sleeping anymore?"

"En, I really can't sleep." Jing Huan said. "Isn't Gege watching a movie?"

"Already turned it off." Xiang Huaizhi didn't return to the bridge but led him to the exit.

"Where are we going?" Jing Huan asked.

"Doing a quest."

"…" So you didn't hear my refusal just now at all, did you.

Whatever, Jing Huan thought while leaning his chin against his hand. There was nothing else to do in the middle of the night anyway.

Yearning For led him back to the main city, all the way to the transporter.

As soon as Jing Huan was ready to play a movie to pass the time, he saw the game scene suddenly change, and they arrived at a special scene.

NCH's design could be considered pretty well-planned. Every special event would add on an activity scene, and the marriage tree they were at was one of them. From the NPC under the marriage tree, you could get the quests of "All the Lovers in the World."

Before Jing Huan could react, the quest had already popped up.

[Fairy of Marriage: I heard that Rumo (Valley of Falling Flowers 12, 111) has always been deeply in love with the Scholar (Main City Bookstore 12, 22). Please help her send a bouquet of peach flowers to the Scholar.]

Yearning For took him to the general store to buy peach blossoms, and Jing Huan couldn't help but call out, "Gege……"

"En."

"Do you know what event this is?"

"All the Lovers in the World."

"…" Jing Huan thought he might have misunderstood something. He said in a roundabout way, "The experience points given from this event is very low."

"I know." Xiang Huaizhi pursed his lips. "You don't want to do it?"

Jing Huan blinked. He really… didn't want to do it.

The process was so complicated, and the reward was too low. This kind of horrifying quest, who would want to do it? It was a complete waste of time!

"Want to." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "I want to do it with Gege."

Xiang Huaizhi's throat bobbed and without talking, he led him to the wild map to find the Scholar.

[Scholar: Miss Rumo has put in a lot of effort, please pass this letter on to her for me.]

[Rumo: Ah, this is really his handwriting (blushing). So my wish was heard by the Fairy of Marriage? Thank you. Please tell him that I have received the letter.]

[Scholar: It's been hard work for you two young heroes. I just bought a hairpin on Long Street, and I think it's very suitable for Miss Rumo. Please take it to her for me.]

[Rumo: What a beautiful hairpin! I have finished reading his letter, here is the reply. And, please help me send another peach blossom to Scholar Gege.]

Jing Huan: "…"

Jing Huan: ?

You're asking us to send flowers, so you should give us money for the peach blossoms ah??

Besides, is Laozi a carrier pigeon? Do you two not have legs or something??

What kind of crappy event was this??

Jing Huan was unable to vent, and the two people went back and forth several times before finally coming to the final confession scene.

[Runo: This is a strand of my hair. Young heroes, please hand this and the letter to the Scholar together.]

Jing Huan breathed a sigh of relief and thought that the silly quest was finally going to be over.

[Scholar: (surprised) W-what? Miss Rumo actually has those kinds of feelings for me? ]

???

Or else why would they send you flowers? Or keep sending you letters??

Jing Huan thought it was funny, and he really laughed out loud. After that, he didn't forget to tease. "I also have those kinds of feelings for Gege."

After hearing that, Xiang Huaizhi paused, and the impatience that had accumulated while doing this tedious quest gradually disappeared.

[Scholar: What should I do, I have no feelings like that for Miss Rumo.]

Jing Huan was once again full of question marks.

If you didn't care about her that way, why did you keep replying to her letters? Sending her hairpins?

[Scholar: It's like this…. Miss Rumo looks very similar to my dead wife, so I regarded her a little more special than other people. I didn't expect that something this messy would happen… Here are the peach blossoms and letters she sent me, please take them all back for me ba. I can't accept her feelings.]

"…"

Yes.

The All the Lovers in the World event ends with a BE.

It's really NCH all right.

After the quest was completed, Jing Huan glanced at the experience points earned. They had been running back and forth for nearly ten minutes, only to gain a few thousand experience points.

This is a damn… waste of time.

So after finishing the quest, Jing Huan tentatively said, "Gege, the experience points from this quest were so little ah."

"En," Xiang Huaizhi looked at the data. "But the intimacy score shot up."

After doing all those tasks, they had increased their intimacy score by 20 points.

"What's the use of that," Jing Huan said casually. "It's not like you're marrying me, so the highest intimacy score we can get to is still just 9999."

Xiang Huaizhi's mouse froze to a stop.

He lifted his eyes and stared at the tail behind the small fox fairy. After a while, he asked, "When do you want to get married?"

"Your intimacy score with Long Road Ahead is also 9999. Even if we grind at it, there will be no difference between me and him from Gege's point of view… Huh?"

Jing Huan's eyes suddenly widened, suspecting that the rain outside had affected his hearing.

He slowly tugged on the earphone cable, pulling the microphone right next to his mouth, and asked uncertainly, "What did you say just now?"

Xiang Huaizhi suddenly remembered Jing Huan's smell.

Blown by the wind and brought to his senses had been the faint smell of shampoo.

"I asked, when do you want to get married?"

—

Juurensha: EEEEE, XHZ must put a ring on it and make sure his small fox fairy doesn't run away!

Divi: That ending to the event was surprising man LOL. Also, XHZ takes no time to claim Huanhuan now that he "got tired" smh.

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