Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

When Xiang Huaizhi came out of the office, he saw the refund prompt.

Xiao Jing ya: [refunded 5000 yuan]

Xiao Jing ya: Think you sent it to the wrong person…

Xiang Huaizhi guessed that he wouldn't accept it.

But he had still transferred it over.

He had guessed that Jing Huan might be short on money to spend, and that was the only reason why he was being so soft with those elders.

This was very normal. Jing Huan was still a student, and maybe he had rushed out and impulsively bought equipment when he had gotten killed some time ago, so he had spent more money than he had.

But since he didn't want to take it, then that's fine.

Xiang: En.

Xiao Jing ya: Scared me. T▽T

Xiang Huaizhi went back to the dormitory, and Lu Hang and Love is For You to Eat were passionately playing Lian Lian Kan.

"Fuck! Missing just a few pieces again!" The screen suddenly grayed out, and Lu Hang had lost several matches in a row. He was so angry that he smashed his mouse. "Is Chichi running some program? I want to report her!"

Whether or not you're running some program, I can't win against you and can only report you.

He was very noob.

Xiang Huaizhi scoffed a bit and sat in front of his computer.

Lu Hang distinctly heard that scoffing noise. "You're actually laughing at your bosom roommate?"

"I have no bosom roommate," Xiang Huaizhi replied emotionlessly.

Lu Hang nodded. "Yes, you only have a bosom wife right now."

Before he could report anything, Chichi quit the game and went off to eat.

He directly exited the game, picking up his cellphone out of habit, and went to his social media apps, muttering, "This idiotic game is really boring, not challenging at all."

Xiang Huaizhi let out an "en" sound. "How can you still not win against others in an idiotic game?"

"Professionals have specialities, understand? I'm not good at Lian Lian Kan, but I'm awesome at Dui Dui Yaah." Lu Hang opened the forum and saw the title of the post floating on the front page. He couldn't help but blurt out, "Holy shit… Why is the NCH forum full of posts about you and Xiao Jingjing?"

Xiang Huaizhi was just about to go do his dailies. After hearing this, he paused. "What posts?"

"What else can they post about but your guys' wedding?" Speaking of that, Lu Hang couldn't help wanting to interview him. "But what were you thinking? Your first wedding, and you made it into such a big event, aren't you making things harder for us other male players?"

The last time a wedding was so sensational, it was Wheat's Number One Fan, with the wedding costing more than 80,000 yuan.

However, Wheat's Number One Fan had posted a notice about it on the forum three days before his wedding, and had also livestreamed it. On the wedding day, he even put up hundreds of megaphones, for fear some NCH player wouldn't know about it.

It wasn't like Xiang Huaizhi, who got married without saying a word and had hit six figures.

Although their wedding day was no more lively than Wheat's Number One Fan's, the aftereffects were much stronger than his. Now, this wedding had become the topic of conversation of all the NCH players.

Of course, the main topic was Xiang Huaizhi clarifying the farce that happened a few months ago on the exact same day.

Xiang Huaizhi actually didn't think the whole thing was too exaggerated.

Marriage was a big deal and spending a lot of money was only right.

He dragged his character to AFK in his house, and while listening to Lu Hang's broken thoughts, opened the forum. Indeed, it was exactly as Lu Hang had said. The front page was filled with posts about them.

[Let me calculate how much money Yearning For spent on this wedding!!! ]

[Yearning For's account was played by someone else these past few months, do the faces of the people who cursed him out before hurt now? ]

[What kind of idol drama script is Xiao Tianjing holding? ]

[So what kind of crazy was Immortal Mengmeng acting out these past few months… ]

[Attachment: Chat record between Yearning For and the booster. ]

The last post was from Lu Hang.

Xiang Huaizhi clicked on the post with the highest number of comments.

2L: lololol guys don't @Immortal Mengmeng anymore, according to reliable sources, right when Yearning For's wedding started, she immediately went offline lololol!

5L: Since she didn't refute it, it means that what Yearning For said was true. He really did negotiate with her privately and was willing to make compensation, yet as a result, Immortal Mengmeng still pretended to be pitiful and even hunted down and killed Xiao Tianjing?

10L: Don't talk about it anymore, let's just say that Xiao Tianjing was really miserable.

32L: Why are all these previous posts helping Xiao Tianjing white wash herself? I've heard her voice, it's sweet enough to kill you. She always calls Yearning For Gege… vomiting now. What's more, there's still a question of whether or not her account really changed hands, could just be a change in form but not content. It could still be that famous female swindler, Don't Frown.

33L: ^ + 1, maybe in a few months, Yearning For's account will be completely cleaned out hahaha!

…

88L: Xiao Tianjing is very impressive. While pursuing Yearning For, she was also flirting with a warlock in our server named Qiufeng. They set off fireworks together.

89L: Previous poster, really? Don't start rumors ah.

90L: Directly posting a picture bb. [picture]

After many days, Xiang Huaizhi once again saw the heart created by Qiufeng.

His face sank, and he paused for a few seconds before continuing to scroll down.

From this post on, the direction of the posts changed. People began to carefully analyze the ambiguous details of Xiao Tianjing and Qiufeng, from Qiufeng's fireworks to the day where they lost so many points in the arena, hand in hand. There were over a hundred comments.

In contrast, Yearning For's ID began appearing less and less frequently.

After Xiang Huaizhi had looked through several pages, he finally lost his patience and jumped to the last page.

288L: So really, Qiufeng and Xiao Tianjing are more like a pair.

The corners of Xiang Huaizhi's mouth tightened.

How did they get to that conclusion?

289L: Qiufeng probably lost to Yearning For because he doesn't have as much money ba. Xiao Tianjing's ambition is also very big. As soon as she came in, she went after the most difficult person, and most importantly, she actually got him.

290L: Not sure about that. At one glance, you can tell that Yearning For is a real gamer. In his eyes, tens of thousands of yuan is nothing. I’ve seen that Xiao Tianjing’s game homepage is full of photos of her and Yearning For, and even her signature is related to Yearning For. In contrast, Yearning For’s page has nothing. One look at it, and you can tell he doesn’t take her seriously. Betting 100 yuan that they’ll get divorced in a few days!

Seeing this, Xiang Huaizhi completely lost interest in it and directly closed the forum.

As soon as Jing Huan turned on the computer, WeChat popped up with a message notification.

Chichi: [Sharing Post: NCH Forum - "So what kind of crazy was Immortal Mengmeng acting out these past few months…." ]

Chichi: Many people in the forum are discussing your wedding with God Xiang ah.

Jing Huan couldn't read these posts, the more he read them, the guiltier he felt. He smiled perfunctorily and slowly got online and logged into the game.

He had originally wanted to find an excuse to not login, but when he got home, he just turned on his computer by habit.

As soon as he entered the game even, he subconsciously clicked to message Yearning For.

…

This was a bad problem, he needed to correct it.

Fortunately, before he had time to send anything, he received a message from Long Road Ahead, asking him to go to the main city transporter.

By the time he arrived, Yearning For was already in the team. After entering the team, he sent some emoticons as a greeting, and then after that, didn't say another word.

A system prompt popped up in the lower right-hand corner.

[Your friend Love is For You to Eat @you on Yearning For's page! Click to view… ]

Jing Huan's eyelids twitched. He quickly clicked on the notification and directly entered Yearning For's game homepage.

The originally empty page suddenly had several more photos, all posted an hour ago.

Almost all of them were of the two of them playing together.

The embracing and kissing scene at the Valley of Falling Flowers, the scene of standing side by side in the arena, and the two of them bowing to each other during the big wedding the other day.

The only single photo was Yearning For crouching in front of a small dilapidated house, holding his big, dark and shining sword… weeding the lawn.

?

You're using your divine artifact to weed the lawn?

Durability can't be spent like money!!

Jing Huan's thought of upgrading his house became more and more intense.

"Xiao Jingjing, what equipment did you put that gem on?" Lu Hang asked in the team voice channel.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: The ring.

Lu Hang replied, "Oh, the love token from Xiangxiang?"

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: ……

Lu Hang looked at those ellipsis and said while laughing, "I don't think Xiao Jingjing has any spirit recently. These two days, she doesn't even send that many cute emoticons. Before, every sentence had to have two or three emoticons."

Xiang Huaizhi let out a perfunctory "en" sound and stared at the person who had just joined the team, then silently checked the time.

Xiao Tianjing had been online for ten minutes.

Ten minutes, and he still hadn't sent him a message.

[Couple] Yearning For: Have you eaten.

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: Yes, how about you?

[Couple] Yearning For: Just finished eating.

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: Mhm.

[Couple] Yearning For: ?

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing:?

[Couple] Yearning For: Why aren't you calling me that.

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: Ah? What?

[Couple] Yearning For: Gege.

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: ……

Jing Huan really was deliberately correcting himself.

It was very hard. God knows how many times he had deleted the words "Gege" from the dialog box.

But he had already decided, he couldn't wait for Yearning For's feelings to subside, he had to put some plans into action.

For example… Changing the character of Xiao Tianjing.

Didn't Yearning For like the way he had pretended to be cute and had a sweet loli voice?

Then, he wouldn't be like that anymore!

Refuse to act cute! Refuse to act spoiled and coquettish! Refuse to hug and kiss!!

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: It seemed like you didn't like me calling you that TAT, so I won't anymore.

[Couple] Yearning For: Keep calling me that.

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: ….

[Couple] Yearning For: ?

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: Gege.

When Xiang Huaizhi saw those two words, his heart suddenly itched.

He thought of their wedding day, when Jing Huan had called him something else in a small voice.

It had been a whisper in his ear, but it also felt like thunder in the sky. A secret and indescribable pleasure permeated his heart, making his own thoughts towards him clearer and clearer, with no way to hide from them.

The next day, Jing Huan had no classes in the afternoon, so he changed into sportswear and went to the sports field to run laps.

Although he didn't want to win a prize, he at least didn't want to lag behind too much, it would be too unsightly.

Lu Wenhao and Gao Zixiang also came out to accompany him. Although they said they were going to keep him company, Jing Huan ran alone. They sat in the stands and helped watch over his cellphone and calculate his time.

After just two laps, Jing Huan was gasping a bit, but he could still take it. He picked up his speed a little to see how long it would take for him to run, but suddenly, his calf gave a slight twitch—a sign of cramps.

He was startled and immediately wanted to stop, but because his calf was numb, and he couldn't stop that easily, he stumbled forward and was about to fall.

A strong arm wrapped around his waist and yanked him back.

"No warm-up?"

Jing Huan turned around in shock, stared into Xiang Huaizhi's eyes, and only responded after awhile, "I forgot… Why are you here?"

Xiang Huziahi had been running behind him for about half a lap.

"Practice." Xiang Huaizhi glanced at his calves. "Can you stand?"

Jing Huan then remembered that he had an arm around his waist. His sportswear wasn't that thick. He could feel the warmth of the other party, and his arm had some strength.

It wasn't like a hold, it was more like an embrace.

"Yes." Jing Huan said hurriedly, "I didn't have cramps, I just wasn't standing firmly."

Only then did Xiang Huaizhi release his grip. "Don't run for now."

Jing Huan nodded. "Okay….Then Ge, you continue, I won't delay you."

"Together." Xiang Huaizhi said. "I also finished running."

In the stands, the two different roommates had met up.

Lu Hang, Gao Zixiang and them were sitting together, chatting very happily.

Seeing the other two coming back side by side, Lu Hang smiled. "Just in time, we were discussing about going out to eat a whole roast sheep together."

Jing Huan didn't like eating that kind of thing, it had a strong smell.

He hesitated and turned to ask, "Are you going?"

Xiang Huaizhi's eyes dipped down. "En, together?"

Ten minutes later, they were all sitting around at the barbecue shop.

Lu Wenhao ordered several bottles of alcohol, and these big guys filled up their glasses.

"Wait a minute," Lu Hang said. "Don't drink ba, Jing Huan. You collapsed after just a few glasses last time."

Jing Huan explained, "I don't get drunk off of beer, it's fine. Mutton is too strong for me to eat without alcohol."

"You can't eat mutton?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan shook his head. "It's not that, it's just that I can't stand the smell inside."

It was only then that Lu Hang found the situation strange.

Logically, there were two benches by the table, so no matter how you looked at it, one should be for him and Xiang Huaizhi and the other should be for Jing Huan and his roommates.

… Why was he sitting here with Lu Wenhao and Gao Zixiang?

The whole roasted sheep was placed on the table, interrupting his doubts.

Jing Huan frowned after every bite. It seemed like he didn't like it.

Before long, his glass was empty. He wanted to pour another glass for himself, only to find that there was only a pile of empty bottles left on the ground.

"Still want to drink?" Gao Zixiang noticed his actions and asked, "How about I get another bottle for you?"

Jing Huan put his chopsticks down. "Forget it, not eating anymore."

Just as he said that, a glass of beer was pushed next to his hand.

"I still have some." Xiang Huaizhi's tone was as usual.

As he only took two sips of beer, there was still a lot left in the glass.

Seeing that Jing Huan didn't move, he said, "You can pour it into your cup."

Lu Hang was stunned.

He and Xiang Huaizhi had known each other for such a long time, but he had never seen him drink from the same bottle as anyone else. After playing basketball, no matter how thirsty he was, he wouldn't touch other people's cups.

He had originally thought that Xiang Huaizhi was a germaphobe.

Germaphobe my ass.

Jing Huan was stunned, then laughed, "If you don't mind, I'll drink from it directly ba."

The smell left in his mouth did make him uncomfortable.

"Don't mind." Xiang Huaizhi answered.

Jing Huan drank down the remaining glass of beer in one gulp.

Full of food and drink, the table began to chat.

"And they're making me do the high jump…" Lu Hang said with a wry smile, "I just tried it and came really close to breaking my waist."

Lu Wenhao was amused. "You're okay. I've been assigned to do shot-put every year from junior high school up until now. Damn it, who stipulated that fat people have to do shot-put?"

Gao Zixiang groused, "You're all lucky. Laozi is a referee this year, and who knows, this weather might freeze me to death."

Jing Huan listened to their chatter with his legs crossed, with a smile constantly on his lips. Even if he didn't talk, he seemed like he was part of them.

For some ungodly reason however, Xiang Huaizhi's gaze fell upon his mouth.

That place had just touched his cup, and now it was still was shiny with the liquid.

That was when Jing Huan licked his lips.

So thirsty, want to buy some water.

He had just wanted to get up, but the person at the next table was faster than him.

The person who came over was a girl, wearing a short skirt and stockings in the middle of winter, confidently showing off her long legs.

"Little Gege." She held up her cell phone in one hand while her other hand was clenched shut. She reached out with that hand to Jing Huan. "I want to give you something."

Jing Huan was stunned and subconsciously reached out to take it.

The girl smiled shyly, spread out her hand, and placed it in Jing Huan's palm. There was nothing in it.

The girl's hand was soft. Jing Huan finally reacted, and laughed while taking his hand back. "I'm sorry, I won't accept this."

The other people at the table were also stunned, and Xiang Huaizhi's gaze was frozen on their hands for a long time, before looking away expressionlessly.

Lu Hang was the first one to recover and laughed, "Are you shooting a short video?"

"Yes," The girl wasn't embarrassed even though she was rejected. She politely asked Jing Huan, "Little Gege, can I send out this video?"

Jing Huan shrugged. "It's up to you."

The girl left, satisfied.

Gao Zixiang held up his chin and said, "You're so praiseworthy. When you play ball, Meimeis come looking for you. When you have a meal, more Meimeis come looking for you."

Jing Huan said with a forced smile on his face, "What nonsense are you talking about?"

Lu Hang added, "It's pretty normal, if I was a Meimei, I would also come looking for you."

"If I had Huanhuan's face, why would I even do online dating?" Lu Wenhao said enviously. His eyes then moved to the face beside Jing Huan, and he opened his mouth again, "Give me Senior Xiang's face, and the whole world would be my fish pond."

Jing Huan listened and laughed, "You just dream on ba."

Gao Zixiang said, "A lot of girls seek out Senior Xiang too ba."

Xiang Huaizhi's eyes drooped, and he hadn't even said anything before Lu Hang first answered for him, "Before, there were, but later he made a girl cry, so no one dared to seek him out anymore."

Jing Huan was surprised and asked, "Cry?"

"Just refused her," Xiang Huaizhi said calmly.

Lu Hang nodded. "It's actually true. He didn't say much, at most, he was a bit cold, but who knew that girl's skin was so thin, she cried as soon she went back. Since then, few people have dared to confess to him."

Today, Chunxiao said in the guild group chat that Promise had already half given up, and she had cancelled the teams at noon and at night, so they didn't have to rush back.

They all talked until nine o'clock, then they got up and went back to the dormitory.

Recently, it was winter. When they came out of the restaurant, the temperature difference between the inside and the outside was obvious. Everyone couldn't help wrapping themselves up in their coats.

On the way back, Jing Huan put his hands in his pockets and turned to ask the person next to him, "Ge, when will you practice for the 1500m next time ah?"

Xiang Huaizhi's face was indifferent, and his voice is hoarse. "Don't know."

Jing Huan let out an "oh.". "Can you call me next time? Let's run together."

"Why?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

"Ah?" Jing Huan blinked. "Just… want to run with you."

With an extra person, it won't be boring.

Xiang Huaizhi's pace grew a bit slower.

Jing Huan realized that he didn't seem to be very happy, and corrected himself. "If you want to practice on your own, that's fine too, I was just saying that…"

Xiang Huaizhi suddenly reached his hands out to him and interrupted him.

His fingers were long and good-looking, almost as if he had an extra joint compared to most people.

Jing Huan stopped and looked at him blankly.

"It's very cold." Xiang Huaizhi looked at him through his downcast eyes, his tone a bit stiff. "Help me warm up."

The three people in the back were walking side by side. Because they had drunk so much alcohol, their steps were much slower than the others.

Gao Zixiang questioned, "Are those two people's legs so long that they have to walk so fast?"

Lu Hang laughed and said, "Don't talk nonsense, my legs aren't short!"

"I'm not short either," Lu Wenhao kicked his legs forward. "If you don't believe me, I'll go and compare with Huanhuan… Holy shit?"

Seeing the scene in front of him, Lu Wenhao asked stupidly, "What are they doing?!"

They saw the two people in front of them slow down a bit, and their position was a little strange.

Xiang Huaizhi's left hand was in Jing Huan's pocket.

Jing Huan's right hand was also in it. The pocket was so big that you could see that the two hands were tightly entangled together.

This goddamn….

Gao Zixiang understood first, "They're… warming their hands ba? "

"This is called goddamn warming your hands?!" Lu Wenhao was surprised. "Isn't this a scene only seen in an idol drama?"

Gao Zixiang reminded him, "You also have put your hands in Huanhuan's pocket."

Lu Wenhao was at a loss. "I have?"

Gao Zixiang confirmed, "You have."

Lu Wenhao was even more at a loss. "But when I stuck my hand in his pocket, it didn't seem as…salacious as them?"

Gao Zixiang said, "I've said it before, you're different from Senior Xiang."

Lu Wenhao immediately interrupted him, "Scram. You can just hold back your next words until you go to the grave."

Gao Zixiang calmly analyzed the situation. "A beautiful woman rides on a cow, will people think that the beauty and the cow are a couple?"

"Motherfucker!" Lu Wenhao was so angry that he jumped on Gao Zixiang.

—

Juurensha: ….Awwwww, XHZ wanted to hold hands with him! And even posted pictures of them on his own homepage!

Divi: If wifey gets attacked, must defend wifey. But also, you're stealing tofu XHZ…!

And we have a fanart page!

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