I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations  Editor: Henyee Translations

An Lin was not surprised that Xiao Hong could sing the song “On the Way to School”. After all, he knew that Xiao Hong enjoyed singing when photosynthesizing, so he had given Xiao Hong an album of children’s songs as a present.

But who could tell An Lin what the sun above her head, as well as the staff in her hand, were?

Also, what the hell was this nude, muscular monk that Xiao Hong referred to as “ambassador of the sun”?

“Huh, the kangaroo ran away, what should we do?” Xiao Hong descended onto the ground with the sun hanging above her head. Her seductive yet innocent features were tinged with vexation.

“The shadow demon has spatial-manipulation abilities, so that’s why it was able to survive my Sea of Divine Flames technique and attack me without tearing through the Heavenly Void Flame…” An Lin furrowed his brows as he spoke, “But it’s definitely not a Return to Void Stage beast, so it definitely won’t be able to maintain its spatial manipulation forever. Let’s wait and see if it’ll reappear.”

“Oh…” Xiao Hong nodded obediently and began surveying her surroundings with a wary gaze.

Da Bai ran to Xiao Hong’s side excitedly. “Big Sister Hong, you’re a lifesaver! You’re the pride of our beast pet team, woof!”

“Hehehe…” Xiao Hong blushed at Da Bai’s compliments and summoned a few more ambassadors of the sun in her delight. They positioned themselves around the chamber in wait for the reappearance of the shadow demon and were readying themselves to pounce at a moment’s notice.

An Lin’s face convulsed as he looked around at all the nude, muscular monks in the chamber.

“Umm… Xiao Hong… aren’t you tired carrying that sun on your head?” He felt like he had to assess Xiao Hong’s mental state.

“No, no, not at all, this golden disc is a gift from the sun, we should all praise the sun!”

Xiao Hong’s eyes lit up with pride.

An Lin: “…”

“Then… what’s with those monks and what do they have to do with the ambassadors of the sun?” An Lin decided, after a moment of hesitation, that asking questions seemed like the best way to gain insight into Xiao Hong’s world.

Xiao Hong immediately replied in her cute voice, “Master, what do you think of when you look at these monks?”

“What do I think of… that they’ve lost all their hair?” An Lin blinked in confusion.

“Wrong! You should be able to think of the sun!” Xiao Hong responded a little dejectedly, “Monks’ heads are so round, like the round sun in the sky, and their heads can also reflect the rays of the sun, so they’re worthy to be the ambassadors of the sun!”

An Lin’s chest tightened at her explanation.

Had Xiao Hong become retarded from excessive sun exposure?

Xiao Hong continued in an animated display, “Life has given you a head of black hair, but you use it to keep out the rays of the sun.”

She sighed with emotion and raised her hands high in the air. “Only monks would sacrifice their hair to reflect the rays of the sun! Praise the sun!”

Alright, that confirms it, Xiao Hong’s definitely retarded from excessive sun exposure.

An Lin looked at Xiao Hong as his heart throbbed. Had he paid too little attention to her in the past? How was he oblivious to her deteriorating mental state…

“Xiao Hong, monks don’t shave their heads to praise the sun, they shaved their hair off as a metaphor for removing all their worries and desires…”

Xiao Hong immediately retorted, “Things are not always as they seem, Master. Although some things may appear to be the way they are, they exist only due to popular opinion. Perhaps the objective of things changed over time to become something which contradicts with its original objective. This creates an illusion that makes us believe what others want us to believe. To me, the true objective behind monks shaving their heads is to praise the sun!”

An Lin was completely rooted to the spot as he stared at Xiao Hong with a dumbstruck expression.

Was this true? Could things really be the way Xiao Hong was preaching them to be?

Had Xiao Hong become retarded or more intelligent from her sun exposure?

Her words were so profound and so reasonable…

What could an uneducated neanderthal like him say to dissuade her from her views?

No, why would he try to dissuade her? Perhaps monks really were shaving their heads to praise the sun?

Right at this moment, a few of the nude, muscular monks turned to An Lin with friendly smiles. Their bald heads glowed with blinding light under the light of Xiao Hong’s sun, forcing An Lin to avert his gaze…

An Lin’s body trembled as he stared at the scene before him.

These monks with their thick muscles, nude bodies, and reflective bald heads…

F*ck! There was definitely a f*cking problem with this!!

No, he had to prevent Xiao Hong from falling even further into depravity!

An Lin took a deep breath and spoke with a solemn expression, “Xiao Hong, you say that monks shaved their heads to praise the sun, then why do you still keep your hair? This shows that a sincere and devout heart is all you need to praise the sun!”

Xiao Hong faltered at his words and she fell into deep thought.

Clap!

She suddenly clapped her hands together as if she had suddenly awakened to the truth. “I knew there was something missing in my photosynthesis. It’s because I didn’t go through the necessary procedures!”

Her storage ring flashed, and a longsword appeared in her hand which she swung toward her own head.

F*ck! An Lin almost pissed himself, and he immediately enveloped Xiao Hong in a tight hug.

“Calm! Be calm!! Just pretend that I have never said anything!!” he yelled as he hugged her delicate body tightly.

Xiao Hong looked at him with a perplexed expression. “Why would I do that? I think Master’s words ring extremely true!”

An Lin was about to cry. Ring true my a*s!

The first part of the sentence “why do you still keep your hair” was only a rhetorical question; the important part was the “a sincere devout heart is all you need to praise the sun”!

If Xiao Hong really shaved her head, madness would ensue!

Imagine a beautiful bald chick appearing on the battlefield and letting loose a war cry of “praise the sun!” while being followed by a bunch of nude and muscular monks charging onto the battlefield…

An Lin felt like he would rather die than be treated to such a tragic scene.

Everyone would look at him as if he was a freak. After all, what kind of owner would drive their beast pet to insanity like that?

An Lin grabbed the longsword from Xiao Hong’s hand and massaged his brows while he thought of other ways to dissuade her.

Right at this moment, a ripple suddenly appeared in the chamber which was immediately followed by the appearance of a spatial rift.

In an area completely lit up by the sun, the black spatial rift was extremely conspicuous. The shadow demon was clearly unable to hold on any longer and was about to return to this space.

The black kangaroo flopped down onto the ground with a dull thump.

Against the kangaroo, Xiao Hong’s light seemed to be an extremely powerful weapon in itself as its body trembled uncontrollably, and it was struggling to open its eyes under the glare of the light.

The kangaroo was then greeted by the sight of a few nude, muscular monks converging toward it.

What transpired next was a brutal beating. There was a lot of blood and gore, so parental guidance was required for children wishing to access this program.

Thump thump thump… Bang bang bang… Clatter clatter clatter… Puff puff puff…

The kangaroo lay on the ground on the brink of death with tears swimming in its eyes after receiving a brutal beating at the hands of the monks.

The light of the Golden Crow converged on Xiao Hong’s slim fingertip, and a golden bolt of energy pierced through the kangaroo’s head, effectively ending the battle.

“Congratulations, you have passed the trial of darkness.”

Bai Ling’s voice suddenly sounded as white lights were flicked on within the chamber.

“Big Sister Hong is the best! Big Sister Hong is invincible! Woof!” Da Bai cheered her on excitedly.

This battle was won singlehandedly by Xiao Hong, and her status in the beast pet team was instantly elevated. At least, that was the case in Da Bai’s mind.

An Lin also rubbed Xiao Hong’s head with a relieved expression.

At this moment, the nude, muscular monks turned toward him again and directed their friendly smiles at him…