I Raised Snow White!

84. The word love

[Episode 84] – The word love

‘…Did I tease you too much?’

I glanced down and looked down at Titania, who was pouting with a sullen expression. I found her jealousy so endearing that I teased her a little, but Titania didn’t seem to like it so she didn’t try to look at me after that.

When I first saw Titania, her jealousy was so crazy and lovely that I couldn’t help but laugh. Honestly, she wasn’t trying to make fun of him, but when he saw her like that, she couldn’t help but make fun of him. Because until now she had never shown Titania to be jealous of others or anything like that.

It was not easy to see her daughter jealous and anxious that her mother would be taken away from her. So she just wanted to tease her a little, but seeing Titania’s reaction, she started to worry that she might be adding fuel to the fire.

Anyway, there was nothing we could do about the oil that had already been poured, so the only way was to gently soothe it. She’s already looked cute enough, and if she teases her any more, Titania will probably scold her. I gently lowered her head and whispered softly in Titania’s ear.

“I’m sorry, I teased you too much, right? I just-“

“It’s okay. “I wasn’t really angry.”

“Yeah, really? If that’s the case, I’m glad…”

Why does my daughter make such a sulky face when she says she’s not angry? As I was sighing in frustration, the second song started playing again. As a familiar song sounded in my ears, I grinned, held Titania’s hand, and headed to her dance floor.

The next song was not Marzooka, but a song that Titania practiced with me when she was young. A song that is monotonous but has a lively feel. A circle dance usually performed by men and women in a circle. The 3/4 beat is perfectly engraved on the body of titania.

I grinned and looked at Titania being dragged out by my hand.

“No way, this song isn’t just danced roughly like Marzooka, is it? “Then you might be a little disappointed.”

“…It can’t be like that, right? I don’t dance roughly to this song. “It’s the first song I danced with someone.”

Titania laughed at my provocation and quickly walked next to me. As we took our seats on her dance floor, we held each other’s hands and placed the other on Titania’s back.

Honestly, I’m confessing it now, but the dance I did on Titania’s 6th birthday wasn’t a dance, it was more like me dancing like a puppet. Because the height wasn’t right to begin with.

But, it was different now. Titania has grown to the height of my shoulders and is now tall enough to dance properly with me. She was really happy that she had grown up beautifully, but she was also a little disappointed.

As I was looking at Titania with such complicated feelings, the orchestra started playing a cheerful song. A song that six-year-old Titania practiced until her feet bled.

If you miss it, you miss it, and if you get tired of it, it was a boring ‘waltz.’

*

Titania honestly didn’t have time to focus on her waltz.

Until now, she had been going to the dance every year and danced with many people, but she had never once been conscious of the other person. For Titania, her dancing was just another tiresome routine. Because of her position as a princess, she had no choice but to dance, so she roughly grabbed her partner and danced roughly.

But, it was different now.

‘Something… I’m really embarrassed.’

Dancing, where should I focus my gaze, how should I make my facial expressions, are my hands not sweating when I cling to my mother, why are the palms on my back so hot, every time I take a deep breath? Why do I worry so much about the slightly touching stomach?

I was worried about everything that came into contact with my mother.

Titania was confused, not knowing why she should even care about this. The reason she began to care about her mother like this must have been from the moment she discovered that she was jealous of her mother being friendly with another lady.

‘Why on earth? You just got caught for being jealous, right? Was I this foolish?’

Titania knew that she had a really good relationship with her mother, but she never thought that she would be so foolish that she would even be jealous of the daughters who were close to her mother.

No, her mother’s ‘behavior’ was more problematic than her closeness.

What was the mother thinking when she kissed the back of another daughter’s hand? If she wanted to ask for a dance without speaking, it was clear that just pretending to kiss her lips would have been enough.

However, the mother really kissed the backs of the other ladies’ hands. Whether with gloves or bare skin. As if it had nothing to do with anything. When she thought of that image again, Titania felt moved again.

‘I don’t even kiss my mother often these days…!’

Shocked.

Titania was startled by what she had thought and she lost her beat for a moment.

She had been avoiding her mother’s kisses for a while now, but it was clear that she was herself. She said she was all grown up now and past the age to kiss her mother. She was so embarrassed to sleep together that she decided to share a separate room.

‘But why? ‘Why am I angry because my mother kissed someone else?’

Titania was about to burst out laughing at her own duplicity, but she held it in and continued walking.

He is like a childish man who hates his mother not giving affection to others and moving away from him.

She wishes her mother would not treat her like a child and acknowledge her as an adult.

Titania had no idea what she was hoping for.

She doesn’t know how she wants her mother to treat her… Does she want her mother to stay away from her side a little, or does she want her mother to not leave her side?

Her mind was complicated and dizzy, and there was little she could know, but this much was certain.

The mother gave affection to her daughter, which made her irritated.

She was jealous because she was afraid that her mother would be taken away by someone else.

She was afraid that if her mother was taken away by someone else, she would again be left alone like before.

Titania suddenly remembered what Viola had told her last night. Love requires obsession and jealousy. That there is such love.

“Well, the book says this is obsession or jealousy, but I don’t think love exists without obsession and jealousy. Aren’t you jealous and obsessed because you love each other? ”

Obviously, Titania ‘loved’ her mother, so she was jealous. However, if you ask whether this love for her mother is the love of ‘lovers’ like the protagonists of romance novels, I think it is not.

Is it okay for ‘jealousy’ to enter into family love? Even if her mother gave affection to another daughter, is it right for her as a daughter to be ‘jealous’ of her daughter? As for Titania, she had no idea.

From noble mtl dot com

She loves her mother, but she loves her family. Titania wasn’t sure about her own complicated feelings yet, but she was sure of this much.

‘…I don’t like it when my mother smiles at other people. I just hate it. I hate it so much that it makes me irritated.’

A selfishness and jealousy so extreme that it makes you laugh bitterly.

In the middle of her dance, Titania lifted her head and looked at her mother. She wanted to immediately take off the mask covering her lips and wipe it off with her handkerchief. It was irritating that traces of another daughter were left on her mother’s body.

As Titania was staring intently at the wolf mask that completely covered Vivian’s face, Vivian lowered his head and whispered softly to Titania.

“Phew… When we return to the royal castle, let’s call the dance teacher again. “What on earth are you thinking, why do you keep getting off beat?”

“Well, that is…”

Titania turned her head to avoid Vivian’s gaze. She doesn’t even know what she’s feeling right now, so how can she answer the question of what she was thinking? As she was wondering what to say, Titania unconsciously blurted out what she had said last night.

“Oh, mother, what do you think love is?”

“Love…? Have you read another strange novel…? “Like last time, I kissed your lips and you lost your virginity- huh?!”

Quad!

How long are you going to keep talking about when you were 10 years old…! Titania was so upset that her dark history was revealed that she stepped on Vivian’s instep with her shoe. She then puffed out her cheeks and glared at Vivian, as if to quickly answer a question.

“Love… Love… I think love is difficult to express in words. “There are many things within the word love – love between family members, love between lovers, etc.”

Vivian continued to waltz with her numb feet and began to think about how to respond to Titania. She thought that the love that Titania was asking about was not something like family love or friendship, but ‘love.’

That’s right, she can be proud that she generously gave Titania the love she had as a family member. She didn’t think there was a need to explain familial love again to Titania, who clearly knew it well.

And, the reason Titania was asking Vivian this was mostly because of the romance novels she was reading with Viola. Even when she was 10 years old, she didn’t know what chastity was and it was because of the books she read with Viola.

From then on, the royal castle did not allow Titania to read her romance novels, but she did let her play with Viola. Well, she thought she could have a hobby like that.

So, the question she was asking now, ‘What is love?’ Must have been asked because of the book she read with Viola last night. Vivian sighed, wondering if Viola should not be allowed to read books like this from now on.

“What I think about love is…”

Vivian lowered her head and looked at Titania.

Honestly, Vivian also didn’t know much about love. Because she knows that she has a lover in the first place. Therefore, Vivian could only provide information based on the meager knowledge she gained from novels she had read in the past, the Internet, and other sources.

Is Titania now at an age where she begins to worry about ‘love’? Who is the opponent? Still, I think it’s still too early to realize her love…

Still, she felt like she had to tell me now.

“Love is the desire to want the other person.”

“Greed…?”

“Yes, greed. “You want to know everything about the other person, or you’re jealous that the other person is approaching other people of the opposite s*x.”

The moment she heard Vivian’s explanation, Titania felt the hairs on her entire body stand on end. Her shame soared as her mother’s words seemed to reveal everything she felt.

“When you love someone, you want to hug them or kiss them on the lips. “He selfishly wants everything from that person to be directed only to himself.”

Titania nodded her head slightly at Vivian’s words. Because she wanted to hug her mother and wish that her mother’s affection would be directed only to her. She’s not sure if she wants to kiss her lips yet…

When my mother’s lips touched the back of my hand earlier, it honestly felt good. It felt as if her heart was being squeezed, but she couldn’t stop laughing. Is this what it feels like?

“But, those feelings shouldn’t go too far. You shouldn’t forcefully steal the other person’s lips. “You know best, right?”

Titania puffed out her cheeks at the sound of Vivian laughing, giggling and smiling mischievously. She said again that when she was 10 she just hated her mother, but she wasn’t that hateful.

As her song ended, her mother spun around and took her final pose. She was lost in thought and couldn’t remember how on earth she danced. She had completely surrendered herself to her mother.

When the song ended, applause was heard from all around. The moment I was about to come off the dance floor-

“That’s what I think the love of ‘lovers’ is. If you find someone you love in the future, be sure to let me know. Got it? Also, if you are already caught in an act of affection with your partner, know that you will be scolded.”

Suddenly, Titania came down from the dance floor and stopped in her tracks. Then, her face began to turn bright red as the heat began to rise from her toes.

‘So, what you agree with her mother’s words until now is the love of ‘lovers’? I feel this way towards my ‘mother’?’

The moment you think of that-

Titania’s face turned red as if it were about to explode.

When Titania didn’t come down from the dance floor, Vivian looked up at her as if asking what was going on. Titania took a moment to catch her breath and looked down at her mother.

When Titania’s eyes met the green eyes visible through the small eye sockets of her mother’s wolf mask, her breath seemed to take away.

My mother said-

The feelings she feels are romantic feelings.

And that person is my beloved mother.

The feeling of becoming aware of emotions is just…

“Uh, uh…?”

I was so embarrassed that my whole body felt like it was going to explode.