Castle Peak Like Jade

[I have been having a good time. 】

After deliberating for a moment, he made such a sentence.

[Most of the time, I don't think about the past. 】

Dr. An: [You are the one with the strongest self-healing ability among my patients, happy every day, Chushuang. 】

【thanks. 】

The 29th of the twelfth lunar month.

Chushuang said she was going to go shopping, so she went out early in the morning.

She went to the most expensive restaurant to buy three sumptuous dishes, and went to a flower shop to buy chrysanthemums. She drove to the Mid-level Cemetery.

The winter in my hometown is not considered cold, and the sun is out today, but it will be covered by clouds from time to time.

The cemetery a few years ago was not as deserted as usual, and occasionally people would come to worship.

But she came early, and there was no one in the cemetery at the moment.

When she arrived in front of the grave, Chushuang stared at the bouquet in front of her parents' tombstone in a daze.

The flowers are still fresh, either today or yesterday.

After walking a few steps, I went to my brother's tomb, where there were also white chrysanthemums.

He looked up and looked around, but there was no one.

Not the first time.

I saw such a chrysanthemum in front of the tomb years ago.

This person used to come here almost every year, and there was a break of two or three years in between. Chushuang almost forgot about it. This year, the chrysanthemum appeared again.

I don't know which friend of my parents.

Put chrysanthemums and lunch boxes in front of the tomb, and Chushuang burns paper for them.

"It's New Year's Eve again, I brought you delicious food."

"It's still the dish of that restaurant that you liked the most when you were alive. His business is so good that I made an appointment three days in advance to make a reservation."

Flipping over the paper money with drooping eyes, she burnt the paper earnestly, her eyelids curved quietly, and just let time go by like that.

After the paper money was burned, a gust of wind blew up in the garden, and the hair was slightly messed up.

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Chushuang took out four bright red oranges from her bag and placed them in front of the tomb one by one. She sat next to her and ate the other one peeled like this.

"Ten years, that's all."

The light wind blows away.

She stared blankly at the trees in the middle of the mountain. They were tall, but a little depressed.

These trees were not this big before.

"It's been ten years in a flash, in a trance, like a dream. I sometimes dream of playing on a swing in the yard, with my brother pushing behind, and my parents watching with a smile. Everything in the dream is a bright background. , as if that is the real world.”

"It's been much better in the past few years. I won't paralyze myself, and I can clearly distinguish between dreams and reality."

"But when I was young," the orange tasted salty in his mouth, Chushuang reached out and wiped away the tears on his face, the words choked up slightly, "When I especially missed you, I always felt that the world was fake and everything was fake , Huang Liang can't wake up from his dream, I can't find you no matter what."

"It's boring, I thought then."

"On the day I decided to commit suicide, I dreamed of my brother, the person who doted on me so much since I was a child, scolded me bloody that night, and said he would never recognize me as a younger sister again..." Chushuang looked at the words on the tombstone , tears fell on the stone surface, blurring the wet circle, "How can such a gentle brother curse, he must be too angry."

"Oh," she sighed slightly, "I still made you unhappy when you're all down there. I really failed. I don't know if you told your parents about it later."

"Not now. Dr. An said that I am a person with strong self-healing ability. In fact, I can make myself happy most of the time. I am not a sad person by nature, and I don't like to be trapped in emotions. You don't have to worry about me."

"By the way, Sheng Ting treats me very well. I, like him a little bit."

In front of parents, some words can be said without pressure.

"We all want to live a good life. He is a reliable person. Grandma has a good vision."

After chatting with her parents for a while, Chushuang got up, smiling brightly: "Happy New Year, I have to visit my grandma, and I will visit you later."

After packing everything, she went down the mountain along the bluestone steps.

Today I agreed to go to the clinic to see Dr. An, but the car turned around and drove away.

In a car in the parking lot, a man was lighting a cigarette, staring quietly at the direction she was leaving, without discerning emotions.

-

An Jingyu was eating lunch when he arrived at the clinic. Seeing Chushuang, he put down his chopsticks and handed over a food box next to him.

"The dumplings across the street are good. I bought them for you. You haven't eaten lunch, have you?"

Chushuang took her seat, "What stuffing?"

"Cabbage tofu, I know you've been a vegetarian these two days."

After taking apart the disposable chopsticks and taking a bite, she nodded, "It's really good."

"I heard you're married."

"Yes, more than three months."

After looking her over, An Jingyu said with a smile: "It seems that you don't need to ask, he should be very good to you."

Chushuang raised her eyes: "You can also see this?"

"Well, you look happy."

Chushuang smiled.

After dinner, An Jingyu took her to the psychotherapy room.

The room was decorated in a simple and quiet way. Sitting on the soft sofa, he lit an aromatherapy and placed it on the table.

The dark yellow desk lamp and the pleasant aromatherapy are reassuring. Chushuang closes her eyes and takes a light breath, feeling a little drowsy.

"Do you still have the idea of ​​doing something stupid now?" The man's voice was slow.

She opened her eyes, a little amused.

"You have to ask me this question every time, and you won't do it long ago. I didn't lie to you."

An Jingyu: "Just ask every time to be at ease."

"Is there anyone or anything you want in particular now?"

She once said frankly that after healing the wounds of her loved ones, she seems to have lost her worldly desires. She still has the ability to obtain happiness and is still optimistic, but she has no attachments, and everything is dispensable to her.

Live very Buddhist.

At that time, An Jingyu suggested that she find someone she liked, maybe a good relationship would be beneficial to her.

It took her a long time to find such a person, too.

But she didn't want to know about most people, and the process took about two years.

Later I heard that she was finally in love, and An Jingyu was happy for her at first, but it didn't take long for the relationship to end.

On the day of the breakup, An Jingyu asked her if she was sad, and she said three words.

"It's boring."

That's what he said to himself.

She said some things about that man, and she was more about facing her heart.

【His fault may not have caused the breakup. I was too afraid of trouble. It seems that love is the same thing. It brings a little different happiness, but it is limited to this.I found that I am not attached to this person, and he doesn't like me either, so it's better to end it as soon as possible. 】

[Sorry, I still haven't recovered the ability you mentioned. 】

She thought that the most important things in life were lost, so there was no attachment, as long as she lived optimistically, it was enough.

Whether it is study, work or material satisfaction, she can get by, and because of this, she has become a character who is stingy with herself and doesn't like to get too entangled in disputes with others.

Parents left a huge legacy, and they had the right to dispose of it and donated half of it to a charity foundation that year. After my grandmother found out, the old man hugged her and talked to her all night.

It is said that she is a girl with a poor family background, and the money is the protection and confidence left by her parents. Even if there are major changes in the future, it can protect her for a while, and she must not donate all of it.

Even if she didn't donate it, she usually doesn't touch the money much.

Can you feel at ease with your parents' inheritance?