He is more fickle than Fengyue

Everyone thought that I married Bo Yan for money, and that in order to save the Lu family that was on the verge of bankruptcy, I would not hesitate to sell my marriage and soul to make a deal with Bo Yan.

But only I know that the reason why I married her has nothing to do with anything else, but because I like her.

Otherwise, if I don't want to do something, even if someone holds a knife to my neck, it will be useless.

Since when did I start to like Bo Yan, even I don't know, because I have liked her for too long.

Maybe it was when she was a child, when she always liked to stay behind me like a follower, calling me brother over and over again, or maybe it was during adolescence, when she had a smile as bright as a flower and called me Lu Beichen, holding my arm and jumping around.

At first, I was cold-faced and impatiently asked her to stay away from me. Later, I gave her all my patience. Bo Yan, only Bo Yan, is the only one and the most special one in my world, Lu Beichen. The presence.

We are together almost every day, go to school together, get out of school together, play together, and are inseparable.

She likes to sit on the back of my bicycle and let me take her through the streets and eat all the delicious food in Nancheng.

Therefore, almost every corner of Nancheng has left our footprints, our memories, and her laughter.

I have never told anyone that at that time, Lu Beichen felt very blessed and happy every day. With Bo Yan by his side, I was very satisfied and satisfied with my current situation.

But even if I don't say it, I have been with Bo Yan in school all year round. In the eyes of others, we have long been a golden couple, the object of everyone's envy. In the eyes of others, we will definitely be together in the future. , a happy life with no regrets in life.

My brothers think so, and Bo Yan’s sisters think so too. Of course, including myself, I feel that although we have never said anything about Bo Yan and I, we are connected and understand each other. Not announced.

After all, I could feel the loving look in her eyes when she looked at me. Especially on that hot midnight, when her soft jelly-like lips pressed against mine, I was even more sure of this fact.

At that time, Bo Yan's grades were really bad. She said she wanted to go to the same university as me and begged me to give her tutoring. If she didn't agree, she would act like a spoiled brat endlessly. What could I do? Of course I would pamper her. .

So, I stopped living on campus and chose to go to school and give her tutoring every night until twelve o'clock. She was too slow to do the test paper that day, and I was so sleepy that I fell asleep.

Unexpectedly, I felt something abnormal in my sleep. I was so sensitive that I immediately opened my eyes. Unexpectedly, I met her pair of watery apricot eyes. Her lips were pressed against mine. The touch made me feel... until now. I remember them all clearly, and they were incredibly soft.

When she saw me opening her eyes, she panicked and wanted to run away, but I noticed her thoughts, grabbed the back of her head a second earlier, pulled her forward gently, and the lips that had just been separated touched each other again. .

That was our first contact. God knows how much I liked her and how reluctant I was to separate. But in the end, I took the initiative to let her go because I noticed my body's reaction.

The next morning, I wrote a note and put it in a box. It was my secret iron box. Ever since I was a child, I liked to write down whatever thoughts I had and keep them in it, and almost everything in it was It’s about me and Bo Yan, and so is today’s picture.

[Yan'er kissed me last night, and I kissed her too. I couldn't sleep all night long, my whole body was hot, and all I could think of was the image of her being pressed under me, ruthlessly ravaged, and crying like a mess. She She cried and begged me to let her go, but I pushed harder and harder, making each other hot and sweaty. 】

That night, I kept taking cold showers, but it had no effect at all. I couldn't suppress the desire in my heart, even if I had a cold and fever the next day.

This state lasted for a long time, and I knew I couldn't go on like this. Yan'er was still young, not yet. I couldn't scare her. I should wait for her until she becomes an adult.

If she still likes me as much as she does now, I will kill her and be responsible for her. I will definitely treat her well and it will never change in this life.

So I began to alienate her, and I didn't dare to have any intimate behavior with her, otherwise I would definitely not be able to control myself. Seeing her lose every day because of my alienation, I actually felt more uncomfortable and tormented than her. , but I dare not say.

Days passed like this day by day, and in a blink of an eye, I was admitted to the college entrance examination. When the results came out, she found me immediately and rushed towards me excitedly, "Lu Beichen, I was admitted to Nanjing University!!"

"Look, I told you I could pass the exam. You didn't believe it at first, but now I'm slapping you in the face!!"

"Lu Beichen, tell me, am I powerful?"

I ruffled her hair, nodded heavily, and replied solemnly, "Yeah, awesome."

"Hey!!" She was as happy as a child, dancing in front of me. Seeing her innocent smile made me satisfied.

In fact, I'm happier than she is. I didn't expect that she would study hard for me for more than a year. She didn't just talk about it, but she did what she said. She was admitted to Nanjing University, the same university as me.

I didn’t tell her that in fact, my grades could have been guaranteed for graduate school a long time ago, but I didn’t go. I was here, waiting for her at NTU, waiting for her to overcome many difficulties, come to me, and prove it with her own strength and actions. Show me that she really likes me and wants to be with me.

This is how it is when you like someone, you will always worry about gains and losses. I will be afraid that she is not determined enough to like me and will fall in love with someone else in the future. But at this moment, I feel extremely at ease and at ease.

At this second, I began to look forward to the future. At the same time, every detail of Bo Yan and I's past with each other came to mind...

"Lu Beichen, get up quickly."

"Bo Yan, are you annoyed? If you dare to disturb my sleep, believe it or not, I will beat you to death."

"You don't know how, you are reluctant to part with it, Lu Beichen, I want to eat Zheng Ji Bean Juice."

"Go and eat by yourself."

"But it would be boring for me to go alone. Why don't you accompany me, okay?"

"Girls are so troublesome, let go, I need to get dressed."

"Lu Beichen, I knew you were the best to me."

"What are you still doing standing here, go out and wait."

"Okay! I'll wait for you downstairs."

……

"Lu Beichen, do you think Song Qianqian is prettier, or me?"

"boring."

"Oh, what do you say, what do you say."

"you."

"Hehe!! Then if Song Qianqian and I fall into the river at the same time, who do you choose to save?"

"Bo Yan, are you finished?"

"It's not over, hurry up and talk."

"No need to ask, of course I am saving you. Whether Song Qianqian lives or dies is none of my business."

……

"You can even do the multiplication wrong? Bo Yan, don't be too outrageous, I really want to fucking open your head to see what's in it?"

"It's you, you're the one pretending, so Lu Beichen, tell me again."

At that time, Bo Yan was really not ashamed.

"Master, Master, here we are."

A familiar voice sounded in my ears, over and over again, and it was difficult for me to ignore it. Finally, after I didn’t know how long, I opened my eyelids from my drowsiness.

Uncle Zhang's face appeared in front of him.

For a moment, it felt a little strange. I couldn't recover. I didn't even know why Uncle Zhang was here.

"Master." Uncle Zhang spoke again, "We have arrived."

"Are you here? Where are you?" When I asked this question, I was confused and my lips trembled slightly.

It was a kind of confusion, but also a fear coming from the depths of the soul.

"Master, we are on the island. Aren't you here to see the children?"

Into my ears, the sound of ocean waves came.

My eyes finally regained focus, and I finally saw clearly where I was now.

In front of you is a remote island, surrounded by sea water. Today's weather is not good. Although there are no big winds and waves, it is gloomy. Even the sea water no longer looks blue and is dyed with the color of dark clouds.

And Uncle Zhang's voice continued, "Master, you fell asleep earlier. You haven't had a good night's sleep recently. I saw that you were sleeping so soundly, so I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

"The young master still had a smile on his lips at that time. Did he dream of something good?"

Dream?

I finally came to my senses completely. Even if I didn't want to accept it, I had to accept the reality.

The relationship between Bo Yan and I has long become a thing of the past. What happened just now was just a dream. Even if it happened in real life, we can never go back.

My Yan'er is now married to Fu Nansheng.

On the day of their wedding, I took a sneak peek and saw that the bride and groom were exchanging rings. I almost ran away and ran away.

I hurt Bo Yan, and now the culprit of all this is myself.

Therefore, the end I have ended up in is because of myself and I deserve it.

Once, when Bo Yan was admitted to Nanjing University, the only reward she asked me for was to let me travel with her.

After hesitating for a moment, I thought that in a few days, she would be fine, and finally agreed.

Bo Yan jumped up and down happily and cheered, "That's great, Lu Beichen, you agreed."

But Bo Yan doesn't know that she has fallen into the tiger's mouth. This time, I will not let her go. I will wait until her night to see if she can still laugh.

That night, I wanted to see her cry, to see her cry and scream, begging for mercy and saying to me, Lu Beichen, I was wrong, please let me go, I don't want it anymore.

Imagining that everything was so beautiful made me look forward to it every minute, looking forward to the beginning of this happiness, looking forward to our sweet love, but I didn't expect that this was not the beginning of our happiness, but the beginning of tragedy.

The sudden earthquake broke all the plans. At that critical second, I didn't think about anything. I pushed her away almost by instinct, and I was instantly buried under the rubble.

What was I thinking when I was buried? I was thinking, luckily, luckily I reacted quickly and pushed the thin smoke out, otherwise, we would have been doomed together.

Although dying together sounds quite romantic, I still want her to live. She is going to be pregnant today. She should not die at the best age of her life, and I should not be so selfish and let her die with me. .

I think Bo Yan must live, but I'm afraid she won't survive. She will definitely cry if I die. According to her character, she will definitely cry like a child, with a wrinkled face. Yeah, it’s so ugly when you cry.

It's a pity that when she cried, I could no longer reach out and wipe her tears. Thinking like this, I lost consciousness and my eyes became dark.

When I woke up, my whole world had changed.

That was a change that I couldn't accept. I would rather have died in that earthquake.

It would be great to die. If I die, I won't have to bear the pain of losing her. If I die, I won't hurt her unscrupulously and commit an unforgivable heinous crime.

At that time, I was really filled with hatred. I was blinded by hatred and never really believed in her. If only I could have given her more trust, I wouldn't have ended up like this. In the final analysis, it was all my fault.

So when I really wanted to uncover the bloody truth, I regretted it, and life would be worse than death.

The reincarnation of cause and effect is all retribution.

When I woke up from the dream, the good mood in the dream had already been wiped away, leaving only indescribable and endless bitterness.

"Nothing, I'm leaving first, the kids are waiting for me." I put my hiking bag on my back and got off the boat with my things in both hands.

Looking at this familiar island, I said, "Uncle Zhang, you should go back first, otherwise it will be too late and it will be unsafe."

Uncle Zhang hesitated, "Master, do you really don't need me to accompany you?"

I shook my head and said with a bitter smile, "No, I can do it myself."

I know that Uncle Zhang is worried about me. I have nothing in the past two years. I am no longer the high-spirited Lu Beichen that everyone would respectfully call Mr. Lu when I meet him. To put it bluntly, I have suffered unprecedented blows and severe injuries.

Therefore, Uncle Zhang and Mother Lin called me almost every day, fearing that I would lose my mind and do something stupid.

In fact, I have thought about it, during those countless sleepless nights, I wanted to die and end the current pain.

If living is a torture, then why should I live?

But I didn't take that step after all, because Bo Yan didn't want me to die. Death was too easy for me. She wanted me to bear the pain soberly and spend every moment in pain and suffering, so I wanted to do this. What she wishes.

This is what I owe her, and I should repay it. I live to atone for my sins. I cannot die or be freed.

"I'm really leaving." After saying this to Uncle Zhang, I walked forward with a heavy pile of things.

"Master, Master, you have to take care of yourself and take good care of yourself." Uncle Zhang's voice came from behind, slightly choked with sobs.

I heard it and didn't look back or make any response. Instead, I silently walked on this familiar road. After all, I still had to walk the next road alone.

It's not that I haven't thought about looking back for Bo Yan, but I don't deserve it. When she opened an inn in Yuncheng, I was actually in Yuncheng all the time. I watched her secretly and stayed with her silently. I saw her smile gradually getting more and more. When I got up, I didn't dare to get close.

I'm afraid that I will disturb her life and ruin the state that she has finally adjusted to. I just want her to get better and better, even if I can only secretly watch her for the rest of my life, it doesn't matter.

It wasn't until Fu Nansheng appeared later and saw them together again that I couldn't bear to turn around and leave, but it was this turn that once again made me regret it for the rest of my life.

Bo Yan was kidnapped to northern Myanmar and almost died there. What was I doing at the time? I was drinking and suffering. If it hadn't been for Fu Nansheng, Bo Yan wouldn't have known what kind of ruin he would have been in.

Fu Nansheng finally rescued her from the auction house. Unexpectedly, Song Qianqian was not dead, and she had seen Bo Yan a long time ago and had been squatting nearby, preparing to attack Bo Yan.

Finally, Song Qianqian found an opportunity and fired several shots at Bo Yan. At the most critical second, Fu Nansheng stood in front of Bo Yan and blocked the shots for her, while she herself He fell into a pool of blood.

By the time I rushed there, it was already too late. Fu Nansheng was seriously injured. She was in critical condition again and again. All the kidneys on both sides were necrotic and needed immediate surgery.

At that time, many people thought that Fu Nansheng would not survive this time. It was not easy to find a matching kidney. Fortunately, his eldest brother transplanted a kidney to him. He survived the dangerous period again and again, and finally Survived by luck.

During Fu Nansheng's recovery, Bo Yan stayed with him. He got better day by day, and it was such a long time until Bo Yan finally married him. From the beginning to the end, I was just an outsider.

Bo Yan married Fu Nansheng and held a grand wedding. Her face was filled with a happy smile. They hugged each other intimately and kissed tenderly. From then on, I didn't even have the chance to look at her secretly.

Sure enough, people are doing it, God will see, I did something wrong, so God gave me the cruelest punishment. I watched the woman I loved most in my life marry another man, and he didn't even have the right to bother me. No.

Bo Yan, Fu Nansheng risked his life for you. I believe he really loves you.

Don't worry, I will never appear in front of you again or disturb your life again. I believe Fu Nansheng will make you happy.

Bo Yan, you must be happy.

As for me, I'm supposed to rot in the mud, so let me continue to rot like this.

After trekking all the way, when I was finally tired, the innocent smiling faces of the children appeared in front of me.

"Uncle Xiaochen!!"

The children discovered me and rushed up to me. They called Uncle Xiao Chen sweetly and cheerfully over and over again, "Oh oh oh, Uncle Xiao Chen is here, Uncle Xiao Chen is coming to see us!!"

"Uncle Xiaochen, uncle Xiaochen!!"

The children's voices were all in my ears, but I didn't feel noisy at all. Instead, I felt that this was my only pure land in the world.

Teacher Xiao Yin came after hearing the news and took the initiative to take the things from me, "Mr. Lu, I'll do it."

Although Teacher Xiao Yin is a woman, because she takes care of children and does heavy work for a long time, this is not a problem at all, so I gave her everything with confidence, "Thank you for your hard work, Teacher Xiao Yin."

Teacher Xiao Yin shook his head, "It's not hard on me. Thank you, Mr. Lu, for coming all the way here again."

"And all these years, so many children are thanks to your relief and care. Otherwise, I'm afraid they wouldn't have been able to survive long ago."

"Look at me, what do I say when I am happy?" Teacher Xiao Yin looked apologetic. I saw her face becoming more and more miserable, and I felt very sad.

She is a great woman. She would rather stay unmarried for the rest of her life and still want to take care of these poor children. There are probably no two people in the world who can do this.

"It's okay, you go put your things away, and I'll stay with the children." After that, I bent down and picked up a child, "Chaochao, are you good when Uncle Xiaochen is not around?"

Chaochao nodded like garlic, "Be good."

There was a burst of laughter all around, and someone immediately complained, "Uncle Xiaochen, Chaochao is the one who is not good, he is so naughty."

"That's right, he is the most naughty among us, hahaha!!"

"You are talking nonsense!!" Chaochao yelled with a red face, but everyone laughed even harder, "Hahaha, we are not talking nonsense, you troublemaker!!"

During the commotion, someone tugged at the corner of my clothes and said, "Uncle Xiaochen."

I lowered my head and saw a little girl. She asked cautiously, "Uncle Xiaochen, did sister Xiaoyan not come this time?"

"Yes, Uncle Xiaochen, you said you would take Sister Xiaoyan with you, but you have lied to us several times."

"Uncle Xiaochen, we miss Sister Xiaoyan so much that we are almost crying."

When I heard the words "Sister Xiaoyan" again, my heart twitched hard.

The children miss Sister Xiaoyan, but they don’t know that Sister Xiaoyan is married and no longer belongs to me, and I miss Sister Xiaoyan more than they do.

"Uncle Xiaochen, why don't you speak?"

"Uncle Xiaochen, does Sister Xiaoyan think we are noisy, so she doesn't want us and doesn't come back to see us?"

"It must be the case. Last time we were naughty and went to pick some wild fruits. Sister Xiaoyan was bitten by snakes in the mountains and forests in search of us. Sister Xiaoyan must not like us anymore. It's all our fault. It's our fault. .”

The children thought that Bo Yan didn't come because they were misbehaved. I shook my head and said, "Don't talk nonsense. Sister Xiao Yan is not angry with you. Sister Xiao Yan likes you. It's just that Sister Xiao Yan is too busy at work. So I don’t have time to come.”

"really?"

"Uncle Xiaochen, are you trying to comfort us?" The children looked at me suspiciously, as if they had seen through my lies. I explained again and again, and they nodded in disbelief.

I tried my best to smile, "Although Sister Xiaoyan is not here this time, isn't your Uncle Xiaochen here? Moreover, I will stay for a while this time to accompany you well."

The children were in disbelief. I touched their little heads and asked, "How are you? Are you happy?"

"Ahhhhh!!" Someone finally reacted first and cheered, "Uncle Xiaochen said he would stay with us for a while, that's great, long live Uncle Xiaochen!!"

"Long live, long live!!"

The little ones were all waving their arms and shouting excitedly. I hid all my sadness and sadness and stayed here during this time to concentrate on spending time with the children.

This isolated island seems to be isolated from the world. Over the years, only Teacher Xiao Yin has stayed here to take care of the children. The children have limited knowledge, so I temporarily served as the children's teacher to teach them to learn.

Whenever I teach something that the children have never been exposed to before, they find it new. They all stare at me with wide eyes, full of admiration, and give thumbs up and praise, "Wow, Uncle Xiaochen is so awesome."

"Uncle Xiaochen knows everything. Uncle Xiaochen is the most powerful person in the world."

I smiled bitterly. If I were really good, I wouldn't lose the thin smoke, and I wouldn't hide here like a coward. "Okay, it's class time now, please be quiet."

"Don't think that if you flatter me, I will give you less homework. Don't even think about it."

After the words fell, the children burst into laughter, "Hahaha, Uncle Xiaochen, we don't know how to do that. What we say is true."

"Uncle Xiaochen is so awesome, we admire you."

"We hope that when we grow up, we can become people like Uncle Xiaochen."

If these words were said by others, I would definitely think that they were deliberately mocking me, but how could the children here do that? They are so innocent, untainted by the world, and so simple that they don’t even know what their minds are.

So, they really think so, they really think I am good, and they want to be like me, but what I want to say is that you can be anyone, just don’t be like me, otherwise, the outcome will only be You regret it.

Since I stayed, the children have been very happy every day. I eat with them, write with them, teach them various knowledge, and take them for outdoor activities.

From time to time, they will still ask about Sister Xiaoyan. I always say that Sister Xiaoyan is busy and the children are easy to dismiss in a few words. But Teacher Xiaoyin is different. She sees something unusual and says, "Mr. Lu, you Did you have a quarrel with Miss Song?"

The weather on the island is very good. On a night without haze, the stars are clearly visible. I looked at the twinkling stars and thought of her eyes, the thin smoke of a teenager. Her eyes were flickering like this, just like the sky. The stars are shining brightly, "How do you say it?"

Teacher Xiao Yin sat next to me, "I see that you have been here for several months, but you have not spoken to Miss Bo once. The children don't know, but I can tell that you must have had a quarrel."

It would be nice if we really had a quarrel, but the reality is often more cruel than people imagine. In my ears, Teacher Xiao Yin's voice continued, "Mr. Lu, girls are actually very easy to coax. Please say a few more nice words. I'll send you a message." A few bouquets of beautiful flowers, maybe Miss Bo will come back."

I laughed at myself. Now Lu Beichen has no chance to talk to Bo Yan, nor is he qualified to send her flowers. Bo Yan will never come back to him, not in this life.

"Mr. Lu, Mr. Lu?"

Seeing that he remained silent, Teacher Xiao Yin hurriedly apologized, "I'm sorry, Mr. Lu, did I say something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I just said a few words out of kindness. Don't blame me. I'm stupid. I just saw that you were unhappy..."

Teacher Xiao Yin became more and more anxious as he spoke. He had been malnourished for a long time, and his sallow and thin face was full of apologies. He was so worried that tears almost fell, and he seemed to be at an indescribable bewilderment.

What did she do wrong? She just wanted to help with good intentions, but now she kept apologizing. I cut her off lightly and said, "It's okay. I didn't expect that Teacher Xiao Yin has been here all year round and still knows how to do it." Make girls happy."

My words finally made Teacher Xiao Yin feel at ease. At the same time, her eyes were a little evasive, and a few shy blushes appeared on her face, "I just saw it in the book."

Perhaps Teacher Xiao Yin’s words were a bit funny, and I rarely laughed happily. Teacher Xiao Yin said in a daze, "Mr. Lu, you... you look so pretty when you smile."

"Thank you." I stood up, "It's getting late. I have to get up early tomorrow to make food for the children, so I will go back and rest first. Teacher Xiao Yin, too, please rest early. You have worked hard these years."

After saying that, I turned around and left without giving Teacher Xiao Yin another chance to speak, but I still felt that there was a gaze behind me, following me, but I chose to ignore it.

I had been on the island for almost eight months when I received a call from He Mu. On the phone, He Mu's voice was a little heavy and he said, "Lao Lu, Bo Yan is in labor."

"Twins."

At that moment, the world seemed to fall into silence.

There was no sound in my head, or in my entire world.

It wasn't until a few hours after hanging up the phone that I barely remembered what He Mu said later. He asked me if I wanted to come back and take a look.

He said, Bo Yan was relieved, you can't stay on the island forever.

When they left the island, the children were reluctant to leave and kept saying, Uncle Xiaochen, you must take sister Xiaoyan with you next time you come.

I want to tell them that Xiaoyan is already married to someone else and has given birth to a pair of lovely twins. She will never come back.

I won't come again, this is the last time.

But seeing the innocent looks on the children's faces and looking forward to the next meeting, I really couldn't say anything.

Finally, I knelt down and said to them, "Let's do this. If you have anything you want to say to Sister Xiaoyan, just write it down on paper and I'll pass it on to Sister Xiaoyan for you, okay?"

"Okay!!" the children said in unison, scrambling to write small notes. When they wrote the notes, their expressions were more serious than ever before. They really like cigarettes, they like their cigarettes very much. elder sister.

Seeing this scene, my eyes were sore. I looked up at the sky. It seemed that only in this way could I suppress the wetness in my eyes. On the white paper, there were densely packed words, which were their love and their longing.

Although most of them were crooked and written as ugly as centipedes, I took away these pieces of paper and two pictures drawn by the children.

Those two paintings were drawn by the children when Bo Yan and I came here before. One was when Bo Yan was playing with the children, and the other was of me and Bo Yan.

In the kitchen, the light of the kerosene lamp was blurry. One of us was lighting the fire and the other was cooking. I didn’t know what I said. Bo Yan was smiling at me, lightly. It was such a down-to-earth scene, but it was also So warm.

If I could, how much I would like to go back to that time, but unfortunately, it hurts to be unable to do anything about it, because the past is the past and I can never go back.

Finally, I folded the drawing paper, carefully put it into my trouser pocket, and left under the reluctant eyes of the children.

The boat was swaying on the sea, and Uncle Zhang asked me, "Master, will you come back?"

I looked at the endless horizon and said, "No way."

Uncle Zhang sighed, and there was a long silence.

On the day of Bo Yan's wedding, I didn't have the courage to be there, but when the child was having a full moon, I finally appeared in front of her with the thoughts of the children on the island.

She is so beautiful. Even though she has just become a mother, her whole body seems to be shining and dazzling. It can be seen that Fu Nansheng loves her so much that it shows from the inside out.

When she was with me, she was like a withered flower, without any vitality that she should have. Now she is completely different. It is right to think about it. What I did to her in those years made her feel worse than dead every day. It's strange to be energetic.

I owed her something that I would never be able to repay in my lifetime, but she was relieved. She did not avoid me. She treated me as if she were treating an old friend whom I had not seen for many years. All the love and hatred had long since turned into smoke. Dissipated without a trace.

My heart was pounding, and I stood in front of her and apologized to her, "I didn't expect that Song Qianqian was not dead, and she almost killed you."

"I obviously strangled her to death. I was too careless. I should have sent her to the crematorium myself at that time, but I thought it was too easy for her. I didn't expect it to be a big mistake."

If it weren't for Fu Nansheng, the consequences would be unimaginable.

I almost killed Bo Yan, I almost killed Fu Nansheng, "Bo Yan, I'm sorry."

Bo Yan shook his head and said in a calm tone, "It's nothing. It's all over. I don't feel relieved anymore."

However, I still take it to heart.

She was so calm, but I seemed extremely uneasy. I didn't know where to put my hands and feet until I put my hands into my trouser pockets and touched the papers.

I suddenly remembered that I came here to give her the thoughts of the children. I wanted to tell her that the children missed her very much. I wanted to ask her, Bo Yan, have you ever thought about them.

"Thin smoke..."

However, before all the words could be said, her voice was heard, "Today is the child's full moon drink, so it's better not to talk about these topics."

The words "Full Moon Wine" were like a hammer, hitting my chest hard, making me breathless in pain and almost curling up.

The corner of his mouth trembled slightly, and the hand holding the paper was extremely stiff.

In the end, I still couldn't take out the notes.

I met her eyes and asked her, "Bo Yan, can I take a look at your child?"

Bo Yan nodded and asked someone to bring the child over. A pair of twins, a boy and a boy, were sucking his delicate lips. Their big eyes flickered, showing ignorance and ignorance about the world. They were so cute.

"So cute……"

My voice was already choked with sobs, "Bo Yan, this kind of happiness should have been mine..."

I destroyed it myself.

Originally, Bo Yan and I also had a son and a daughter.

It was he who killed their two children with his own hands, and it was he who killed their love.

"Lu Beichen, let the past matter go by. I have let it go. You can let it go too."

I nodded, but my eyes were already wet and hot.

Finally, instead of taking out the note, I took out a pair of safety locks and said carefully, "I prepared these for my two children. Please accept them."

"Okay." She took the pair of safety locks with her own hands, "I will replace the two children, thank you."

I didn't say anything, I just looked at her deeply.

I really wanted to tell her, Bo Yan, it hurts so much, I'm about to die of pain, but who am I to say that?

Today is a good day for her. Her husband and wife are harmonious, and they have children. The happiest thing in life is nothing more than this. And I have been wrong for most of my life, so how can I bear to disturb her happiness again?

"Thin Smoke!!"

Someone called Bo Yan, and she went to greet the guests. The grandson of the Fu family was having full moon wine, and the place was very lively, and the whole family was busy, including Bo Yan.

I stood here, looking at her busy figure and her happy smile. I looked at her for a long time, and I couldn't even bear to blink my eyes. From now on, I probably won't be able to see it anymore. How could I be willing to take less of a look?

Maybe it was half an hour, maybe it was an hour. When I left, she was still busy. I didn't say hello, turned around and left alone, extremely lonely.

In the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep, so I climbed into the wall of the old house's yard, dug out an iron box from under a big tree with a hoe, which I had buried in the ground the night before I went to Sichuan City. It tells us everything that happened together from childhood to adulthood.

Covered in dirt and dirty, I carried the iron box back to my residence.

The iron box was rusty, so I opened it carefully. The note was slightly yellowed and the writing was a little blurry, but if I looked carefully, I could still see it clearly.

I turned it out and looked at it one by one. That night, I cried and laughed like a madman.

The story in the tin box stayed in Sichuan City. The first night I went to Sichuan City, I wrote, "Yan'er and I are going to Sichuan City. In a few days, it will be her birthday. I want to send her flowers and rings. I I want to confess my love to her, Bo Yan, are you willing to be with me?"

"I want to hear her say it with my own ears, I do."

Unfortunately, I didn't wait until that day.

The earthquake happened so suddenly that I was caught off guard. When I opened my eyes again, everything was turned upside down.

I took out the notes written by the children from my trouser pocket, took out the two drawing papers, put them in the iron box, then locked them and stuffed them in the drawer, never to be seen again.

That's fine, these notes shouldn't have been seen in the first place, and they shouldn't have caused any trouble to her life.

I'm just sorry for the children on the island, I didn't take their thoughts with me.

Before going to Sichuan City, I entrusted the children to He Mu. They should get out of the island and see the outside world instead of being trapped there forever.

They should receive a better education and have a broader world. I can't do that now, but He Mu can. After I repeatedly promised not to do anything stupid, he agreed to me.

If he promises, he will do what he says.

I settled down in Sichuan City. In that city where Bo Yan and I stayed together, the ruins at that time had been rebuilt. I lived in the hotel where we stayed and found an ordinary job. A single life.

I promised He Mu, and I should do it, but I broke my promise after all. After enduring it day by day, I finally collapsed.

Bo Yan said, let me put it down, but I couldn't let it go.

That should have been my happiness.

We are childhood sweethearts who grew up together. We should naturally get married, have children, and live a sweet life. She should always stay by my side, acting coquettishly to me over and over again, calling me Lu Beichen, Lu Beichen, Lu Beichen!Just like when I was a kid.

I should love her so much that the whole Nancheng knows it. I love her so much that everyone will say when mentioning Bo Yan, the eldest lady of the Bo family is the life of our Young Master Lu. If Young Master Lu does not have her, he will probably not be able to live even a day. No.

We should hold hands, travel around the world, leave our footprints everywhere, and eventually grow old together without wanting to be separated.

But all the good things were destroyed by an earthquake.

I was heartbroken and in pain. On the night of my collapse, I got myself drunk and then drove drunkenly and wandered aimlessly on the road.

Bits and pieces of the past reappeared in my mind again.

……

"Lu Beichen, I like you, I like you the most."

……

"Lu Beichen, you are not allowed to look at Song Qianqian. She is just ugly. She is not as good-looking as me. I don't care. You can only look at me from now on."

……

"Hehe, Lu Beichen, you are so kind to me. I want to be with you forever."

……

I can't let go. How can I let go when I think of these things?

Bo Yan put it down, but I can't let it go in this life.

I stepped on the accelerator hard, drove the car past the bridge railing, and plunged into the river.

All mistakes start here and end here.

Bo Yan, if there is a next life, I still want to meet you.

Goodbye.

never see again.