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For Mu Jinyan, the world is black and white.

He walked in the long rainy season and saw dark abyss and disgusting mire. There was no destination in front of him and no retreat behind him.

Countless shadows grinned and stretched out their hands from the ground, dragging his reason and cognition, forcing him to fall into an endless abyss. His thoughts and regrets turned into nightmares, tearing at his heart all the time.

Mu Jinyan is actually more indifferent than anyone else.

He deeply hates this world, hates people's dirty and disgusting hearts, hates the haze covered by the sun - he even hates himself.

At the moment my mother died, countless disgusts were born.

The moment Dad was acquitted, countless disgusts disappeared again.

Because Mu Jinyan knew that "disgust" was meaningless.

Disgust can't bring him anything, it can only make him more painful and unable to escape.

Therefore, he learned to restrain this negative emotion, and the heart he could control no longer produced useless emotions that could only affect himself.

Therefore, Mu Jinyan can live with the surname "Mu" for the rest of his life.

"Mu" is the starting point of everything and will also be the end of everything.

Mu Jinyan is becoming more and more like the kind of heir that the Mu family most expects. At a young age, he is neither humble nor arrogant. His speech and behavior are quite like everyone's. His demeanor is calm and gentle, but it makes people confused.

Nothing can make him lose his composure, and nothing can shake his heart.

"Do you still blame your father for your mother's death?"

When I was ten years old, on New Year's Day, the elders of the Mu family gathered at the Mu family. They asked Mu Jinyan with a smile, as if they were talking about some insignificant topic.

Mu Jinyan's expression became stagnant: "Of course it's strange, I can never forgive Dad." He lowered his eyes sadly: "Mom is the one who brought me into this world. Everything I am now is because of my mother. Come on, I love her very much.”

The elders looked at it: "Really? Do you know what you are talking about?"

"Of course I know." Mu Jinyan said warmly:

"If one day, the original thing is exposed, then I will personally take my father to court - my drunk father killed my mother. I didn't know anything at the beginning, but now that I know the truth, of course I am angry, sad, and impulsive. I have justice in my heart, I know how to be grateful, and I can distinguish between justice and family affection. Even though I love my father very much, I will not bend the law for his personal gain."

The elders were stunned for a moment, then laughed.

Because Mu Jinyan gave them an answer that was much better than they expected.

Does he love his mother? unimportant.

Does he love his dad? Not important either.

The important thing is that Mu Jinyan is someone who loves his parents.

Everyone will know that as the future heir of the Mu family, Mu Jinyan values ​​​​love and justice, is upright and kind, flawless and radiant.

Under this premise, Mu Jinyan's own character is no longer important.

This is what Mu Jinyan wants to express.

This child has become so smart that it is impossible for the Mu family to let him go. He must belong to the Mu family, and he can lead the Mu family to go higher and further.

In this way, Mu Jinyan stepped up to the top of the Mu family step by step and became the controller of the highest power - bearing the surname of "Mu", the murderer of his mother.

When Mu Jinyan avenged his mother, everyone in the Mu family acquiesced. They were not sad or sympathetic. They had anticipated this day from the moment they selected Mu Jinyan as their heir.

They were just worried about their own fate.

And this indifferent attitude made Mu Jinyan realize that the corruption and selfishness of this big family were rotten to the core.

But the sad thing is that he is no longer as repulsive as he was at first - he can't "dislike" it, all he can do is differentiate himself.

But in fact, he has been assimilated since he started pretending, right?

Mu Jinyan didn't want to think about this kind of problem. His definition of good and evil was much more complicated than ordinary people.

Because the court easily closed the case after his mother's death, he hated this "easy" judgment, so Mu Jinyan never killed anyone without substantial evidence.

Even if the other party is suspicious, even if he knows that keeping the other party may cause harm to himself.

But as long as there is a slight possibility, he will not decide the life or death of others.

Mu Jinyan didn't care whether this approach was right or not, he just guarded this bottom line paranoidly.

But he never thought that this would cost him dearly one day.

Didn't Mu Jinyan doubt the Luo family?

Of course not, he had suspected it for a long time, but there was no substantial evidence.

Just like he had long suspected that his friend had been replaced by someone else, but because of the natural and reasonable actions that the other party occasionally made and the existence of "Meng Wuqing", he did not directly catch the other party and question him.

Mu Jinyan had very few emotional fluctuations in his life. After his mother died, only Meng Xi allowed him to show some sincerity.

To him, Meng Xi was not only a friend, but also the only person in this oxidative and corrupt world who could express his true feelings and chat in a relaxed manner.

In fact, some of Mu Jinyan's existing concepts were created under the influence of Meng Xi.

The two of them, with their own injuries and pain, stood together to absorb the only warmth.

Therefore, how important Meng Xi was to Mu Jinyan, how angry he was when he was sure that Meng Xi died in Meng Wuqing's hands.

My best friend was killed by the sister that my best friend cared about most. This was like the funniest joke.

Just this news was enough to make Mu Jinyan lose all his sanity, but unfortunately, that girl... also saw the delusions he shouldn't have, and deliberately came to tease him, wanting to take the opportunity to kill him too.

In his rage, he was filled with despair. Driven by this emotion, Mu Jinyan did something that he would regret for the rest of his life.

Later, after losing that person, he had another nightmare. Every night, he would return to the dark basement, take out syringes one after another, no matter how much he resisted, he would follow the original trajectory. He went over and injected the girl.

"Mu Jinyan..." Sometimes, she would raise her tear-filled eyes, look at him through the tears, and pray sadly: "I hurt so much... it hurts so much... can you stop going on?" "

Sometimes, she curled up in pain, and her voice was hoarse and full of hatred: "A person like you is not worthy of being my brother's friend! If he knew that you treated me like this, he would definitely want to kill you!! "

Sometimes, her face is full of ridicule and sarcasm: "You are responsible for my death. Are you happy now?"

More often, she didn't talk to him, just looked at the ceiling blankly, tears falling to the ground drop by drop, as if she had experienced this kind of pain too many times, and because she couldn't get redemption, she didn't look forward to it, and she didn't expect anything from herself. Life or death doesn't matter.

No matter which one it was, it was enough to make Mu Jinyan's heart palpitate.

He woke up again and again, stayed up all night again, and forced himself to sleep again and again.

I want to see her again, apologize to her, and do something to make up for it.

I don’t want to feel better, I don’t want to sleep deeply, I don’t want to forget.

It's a curse.

It's punishment.

It's... Qingqing.