What makes you think I will always like you?

Late at night, Chen Lu was sitting on the sofa as usual, working on his computer.

Liang Zhirou stood in front of the bedroom table, packing her canvas bag.

After taking out the fruits given by Aunt Wu and putting them on the table, she took out a notebook from her bag.

The landlady, Aunt Wu, gave it to her. She said she left it in the corner of a drawer and didn't take it with her, so she kept it.

The cover of the notebook is very thick and has a plastic texture. There are three Disney princesses printed on it. It is also locked with a small silver combination lock on the side. It seems impossible to open it.

This type of diary was very popular back then. Even though the so-called 'code lock' could be broken with a little force, little girls of that age just liked this design.

She has always liked to remember things. From a very young age, she has started recording her expenses and what happened every day.

It’s just that the habit of writing a diary has not been passed down since childhood.

Liang Zhirou had long forgotten what the password was, so she chose the simplest way - just pull it away.

Anyway...this is the diary she wrote.

The girl glanced at Chen Lu secretly and saw that he was still concentrating on what he was doing, so she began to read carefully.

The first few pages were memorized when I was still in elementary school.

Those words seemed to be forcibly assembled from various radicals, which was extremely uncoordinated.

On November 2011, [-], the weather was sunny.

Today I learned "Autumn Rain".

The teacher asked us to keep diaries and learn to feel and record the good things in life.

Liang Zhirou discovered that the word "beautiful" originally had four horizontal strokes but had only written three horizontal strokes, which made her laugh softly.

November 2011, [-].

My mother picked me up from school very late today and I was unhappy.

November 2011, [-].

My father came back from work and bought me a lot of snacks that are only available in big cities. Other people’s children are very shy, but I only gave them half because I couldn’t bear to eat them myself.

Mom asked dad if he had bought anything for her, and dad smiled and said no.

Then I was chased around the house by my mother.

In fact, I saw that my father bought a beautiful necklace for my mother and kept it in my hand.

November 2011, [-].

Dad made braised carp specially for me and it was delicious.

My mother stayed with me all afternoon to braid my hair.

I am indeed the happiest girl in the world.

November 2011, [-].

Dad was going out to work again, and my mother held my hand and walked with him for a long time.

Before getting in the car, my mother secretly kissed my father.

Why do they think I can't see it?

I wrote frequently in my diary before, but the wording was very childish and the things recorded were very monotonous.

For example, what did you eat today and what did your parents say?

I even write down whatever I dream about.

However, this freshness did not last long, and soon I only recorded some more important things.

February 2012, [-].

Dad vomited a little blood while eating.

I was worried, but Dad said I was just a little angry.

February 2012, [-].

My parents, who went out to see a doctor, have been back for two days.

Mom said Dad was fine, but she kept crying secretly at night.

Dad doesn’t go out to work much anymore. He talks a lot less. He doesn’t know what he’s thinking a lot of the time. He just keeps looking at me except for being in a daze.

I would write my homework all afternoon, and he would be able to read it all afternoon without moving.

But dad spends most of his time playing with me now.

I like this kind of dad.

June 2012, 28.

Mom was indeed lying to me. Dad was actually very ill.

We went to Hangzhou.

Hangzhou is really big. It feels bigger than a hundred of my homes.

June 2012, 29.

I met a particularly gentle boy.

He is different from the boys in the class. I like the feeling of being around him and want to be friends with him.

But we won’t even have the chance to meet each other in the future.

July 2012, [-], light rain.

This is the only crumpled page in the entire diary, and the words written with a ballpoint pen are also a little faded, with some afterimages.

Like being soaked in water.

There are only four words written on this page——

Dad is gone.

August 2012, 31.

I often go to talk to my dad secretly at night recently, but my dad never pays attention to me.

Dad never ignores me.

Mom lied. When a person dies, there is nothing.

I ate a lot of sweets, but I still felt uncomfortable, my heart hurt, and I felt cold...

That little boy also lied to me...

September 2013, [-].

Transfer schools, move.

Grandpa praised me for my beauty, said that girls didn’t need to know so many words, and wanted to marry me off as soon as possible.

They don't seem as good as they appear.

Mom said we would never come back.

December 2013, 28.

I ranked first in the class and my mother was very happy.

My mother is very busy at work, but she picks me up from school every day and cooks me a lot of delicious dishes.

Even if my father is gone, my mother and I will definitely be able to live a good life.

April 2014, [-].

Mom is sick and can't stand up.

April 2014, [-].

My mother's temper became very bad and she often ignored me.

May 2014, [-].

It’s really hard to cook. I cut my finger quite a bit while chopping vegetables today and it bled a lot.

But it doesn't matter. I promised my father that I would take good care of my mother.

I don't like crying anymore.

June 2014, [-].

My mother wanted to commit suicide. I knelt down and cried and begged her for a long time.

My father is gone, my grandparents don’t want me, and my uncle doesn’t want me either.

What should I do if my mother doesn't want me anymore?

June 2014, 21.

Why does my mother want to give up so much? Am I such a burden?

But I have learned to cook, but it’s just not delicious...

January 2016, [-], New Year’s Day.

My mother's mentality has improved a lot and she chats with me every day.

I had a great time these days.

July 2018, [-].

Entered high school!

2018.October [-], [-].

I ranked first in the school in my first monthly exam in high school.

The teacher said that as long as I keep working hard like this, I can at worst be admitted to the best university in Yuhang Province.

The best university in Yuhang Province...

In the city where that boy lives.

Has he grown up too? What are you doing now?

I'm sad enough and want him to be happy.

October 2018, [-], sunny.

Birthday.

My mother asked Aunt Wu to buy me a small piece of cake, and I blew out the candles again after many years.

She asked me what I wished for.

I said that I hope I can take the first place in the school next time. My mother seemed very happy.

Actually, I lied. My wish was to have a good sleep...

I really dream about turning off the alarm clock and sleeping until I wake up naturally.

Once is fine.

July 2019, [-].

Because I couldn't speak when I saw a stranger, I was fired, and I couldn't make any money.

Life is pain and there is no point in recording it.

July 2019, [-].

I won’t keep a diary anymore.

After flipping through several pages in a row, all the pages were blank. Only then did Liang Zhirou realize that she had finished reading.

Memories of the past flooded into her mind. She sniffed slightly and turned to look outside the room.

Chen Lu, who was staring at the computer screen, noticed her gaze and smiled gently at her.

The girl responded with a smile.

Then, she turned back, rubbed her aching eyes, picked up a pen, and wrote something in her diary.

The tip of the pen rubbed against the paper, making a rustling sound.

At the end, she left another neat and beautiful line.

On March 28, the weather was sunny.

"Life is actually pretty good."

Many years later, the girl personally wrote her answer to herself in her diary.