Mecha Star Wars.

Chapter 73 In the River

Lin Fan lay on the ground and glanced at him lazily: "If you don't mind me talking like this, let's talk."

No matter how busy she is, Jin Sichen will have a conversation with her every week.

Even though she was completely weak and lying on the hospital bed, she couldn't escape it. Fortunately, his conversation was very skillful and would not make Lin Fan feel irritated.

Moreover, Lin Fan did feel much better emotionally recently, and she felt it was all due to Jin Sichen. So I didn't object to chatting with Jin Sichen.

Jin Sichen glanced at Song Ren, and Song Ren understood.

"Wait two more minutes." He quickly finished the compressions for Lin Fan and took Li Chunhua out.

When Jin Sichen saw the door closed, he squatted down and sat cross-legged on the ground. He put the recorder aside, propped up his chin and asked, "Do you still remember your experience of jumping into a river last year?"

"Remember..." Lin Fan showed no obvious expression. She tilted her head and looked in Jin Sichen's direction. Her eyes were actually blank.

"I have a few questions related to that matter that I want to confirm with you. If you feel uncomfortable, tell me immediately and I will stop." Seeing that Lin Fan didn't seem to have any special mood swings, Jin Sichen continued.

"Well, you ask." Nowadays, Lin Fan has very few things that can make her mood swing violently.

Of course, Mother Lin is an exception.

"Didn't Dr. Xiao say yesterday that there was something on the top of your head?" Jin Sichen explained the reason first, "We don't know what it is, but we suspect that you had suffered a trauma before and didn't pay attention to what was left on your head."

"I contacted John Woo last night. He said that if you suffered a trauma on the top of your head and you didn't know it, it was probably the time you jumped into the river. I think it is very possible, so I want to review this unpleasant experience with you. experience, do you think it’s okay?”

"Okay." Lin Fan agreed readily.

"Can you tell me what happened that day? Why did you suddenly jump into the river?" Jin Sichen asked.

Lin Fan probably felt uncomfortable lying on his neck, so he turned over with force, lying on his back, looking at the high ceiling and recalling: "It was a long time after I was discharged from the hospital. My mother came to see me."

"She probably felt that I seemed to be more normal, and she happily wanted to take me out for a walk. She felt that I had to go out more so that I would open up and forget those unpleasant things. I don't want to go out, but..."

Lin's mother half-forced herself to take Lin Fan for a walk in the park near her home. The air in the park is very good, there are large flowers, plants and trees, there are not many people, and it is very quiet. Lin Fan didn't feel particularly good or bad.

"My mother kept talking. It was okay at first, talking about flowers and plants, municipal construction, news and gossip... Then as she talked, she gradually turned into complaining, blaming my dad, blaming life, blaming me that I was already well. But she always stayed at home and didn't go to work, which made her neighbors laugh. When acquaintances asked her, she didn't know how to answer... She asked me to quickly find a class and find an office job that would not be tiring at work... ..." The corners of Lin Fan's mouth curled up slightly, revealing a strange smile.

She was standing on the bridge at that time, watching the sun gradually sinking, dyeing the clouds red, and the whole sky seemed to be on fire, so beautiful that it made people yearn for it.

"I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. It's obvious that I'm in pain every day, it's obvious that I don't want to live such a life, and it's obvious that I can't control my body..."

"I have made a lot of efforts, but with little success. I have to muster up a lot of courage and do a lot of psychological construction before I can step out of the house, but in my mother's eyes..."

"Who knows that kind of hardship? No one can understand it. I feel like a waste. Living is a waste of air. Why bother struggling to survive? It's useless anyway."

"Besides, the sky was so beautiful that day. I really wanted to be one with the sky... I was too tired. I didn't want to listen to those words anymore... so I just turned the page."

Jin Sichen listened quietly without interrupting.

The pain of patients with depression lies not only in the pain itself, but also in the fact that no one understands it.

Most people think that they are just complaining for no reason and looking for trouble. Even if you are occasionally considerate, it is difficult to empathize.

Because of the unique nature of the disease, most people seem to be able to live a normal life, even just like ordinary people. Unless it's severe enough to manifest itself, it can easily be ignored.

Unlike physiological diseases: bleeding can be seen when the skin is scratched; redness and swelling can be seen when the eyes are inflamed. Depression is a disease of the heart. Even if you dig out your heart, you won't see anything wrong.

For patients with depression, a silent hug and firm support can be very powerful.

But petty complaints and incomprehension will push them into deeper pain.

So it was right for the doctor to let Lin Fan live separately from Lin's mother.

Lin's mother is actually the root cause of Lin Fan's illness, but she still doesn't realize it. I always thought that Lin Fan was mentally fragile and couldn't bear to talk about it.

"Did you regret when you jumped?" Jin Sichen continued to ask, seeing that Lin Fan's expression was still calm.

"No, I feel very happy." A faint and peaceful smile appeared on Lin Fan's face, and her eyes were a little sore, "I think these days... are finally coming to an end."

People often say that if you are not afraid of death, why should you be afraid of living?

Extreme behavior is a kind of escape, but for people who are in pain, it may not be a kind of relief.

Common people call for euthanasia to be used to reduce the suffering of patients when cancer is in the advanced stage and difficult to cure.

But few people remember that depression is known as psychological cancer.

The same is true for cancer. Patients with depression choose extreme measures to escape, but they are always scolded.

When you were alive, you were not understood, and you were criticized for choosing liberation.

It's like whether or not to get a disease is a matter of choice.

When you can't get rid of the pain of cutting your flesh with a dull knife, sticking your head out seems to be the only way to escape.

Not a good idea, but it works.

"Do you still have any impression after jumping?" Jin Sichen asked next.

"I heard my mother's voice, that high-pitched and familiar scream, which made me feel happy at that time." Lin Fan pursed his lips and smiled bitterly, "There seemed to be other sounds, but I couldn't hear them clearly, so I just smashed in It’s in the water.”

"Jumping into the river was more painful than I thought. It turns out that the water can be so hard. I first saw the yellow river water in my eyes, which was a little transparent. My eyes hurt so much that I couldn't open them. Then, the water went into my nose and ears. It's in my mouth. My nose is like a fire, it's sour and astringent."

"I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth and spit out a bunch of bubbles, and water rushed into my throat...The color of the river water became darker, and my lungs seemed to have been evacuated. They shrank into a ball. It hurt so much. My head felt dizzy and I felt like I was floating. …The color of the water became darker and darker, and soon nothing could be seen…”

Drowning is very uncomfortable, but Lin Fan's description tone was very calm, without even a trace of fluctuation, as if he was telling someone else's story.

To get to where she is today, she has overcome difficulties that are unimaginable to ordinary people.

Jin Sichen was happy that Lin Fan's condition was stable, and then asked: "Don't you know how to swim?"

"will not."

"Do you remember how you were rescued?" This was the point mentioned yesterday.

"I don't know. After I woke up, I was lying on the shore. I must have been rescued. I felt weak and my body was heavy, but I could still move. I was all wet and a little cold at the time, and my mood was also... Now that it's normal, I'll walk home slowly." Lin Fan sat on the shore for a while before getting up, as if he had done a strenuous exercise.

"Did you encounter anything strange when you were in the water? Think about it carefully. Did you feel any injury or pain?" This is what Jin Sichen is most concerned about.

Lin Fan thought for a long time and said uncertainly: "It seems... there was a pain in the top of my head. I bumped into something. It hurt a lot. Hmm... Then I saw some black lines floating upward. But I'm not sure. Then I wasn’t very conscious at the time and wasn’t sure if I really encountered something.”

Jin Sichen guessed that the black line might be the blood that flowed out after the scalp was broken. Lin Fan was sinking, so the blood he saw was floating upward.

He said a few more words that ended the conversation. After confirming that there was nothing unusual about Lin Fan, he left the activity room and immediately sent a message to John Woo.

Although Lin Fan said he was not sure, based on Jin Sichen's understanding of her, she had no confused memories, so the possibility of being injured in the water was very high.

"She said that the thing she hit should be the main body of the thing stuck in her head, which is the key to her transformation. Since it can break her head and bleed, it shouldn't be too small, at least it can't be only in her head. The embroidery needle is just a tiny bit, so there must be other parts." Jin Sichen was absolutely certain.

The river is so big that there are too many things that can break a person's head. But this thing should be in a relatively shallow position. Because the kinetic energy of falling will be offset by the buoyancy, if it is too deep, there will be no force to break the head.

And more than a year has passed, and it’s hard to say whether the thing is still there or not.

Even though it is difficult, John Woo will go. This is what special services are like, facing difficulties is their daily routine.

"I got it, I'll start making arrangements immediately." John Woo knew what he was doing, "How is Lin Fan doing lately? I heard he's transformed again, have you seen it?"

"I didn't see it with my own eyes, but after watching the video, people from 623 also made a 1:1 3D portrait." Jin Sichen replied.

"Hey...can I take a look?" John Woo knew that he was bound by a confidentiality agreement, so the answer was not optimistic.

"You have to go back and ask the director. Their information is shared with the director, and I don't have the right to send it directly." Jin Sichen shook his head. The agreement was not signed falsely.

"Okay. Then I'll go back and ask the director. Is Lin Fan okay now? I heard he's recovering well." John Woo still cares about Lin Fan, but he can't accompany him because of work needs.

"Not bad. I originally thought that the pain from the last transformation would cause her mental state to shrink, but it didn't. This time, her emotions were hardly affected. This proves that Lin Fan's resistance to negative emotions is increasing. It's much better than I imagined." Jin Sichen smiled, "Lin Fan is actually very powerful, she just doesn't want anyone to help her. We are doing such a thing now."

"Okay, I'm relieved." John Woo chuckled on the other end, told Jin Sichen to continue taking good care of Lin Fan and hung up the phone.

It is not appropriate to hold a meeting after get off work hours, and Wu Yusen has not obtained any tangible evidence, so there is no need to be so anxious.

Jin Sichen decided to be a good person and wait until work tomorrow to hold a meeting.

The next day, everyone was very excited when they learned about this new development.

Now, the focus of the cause of abnormality has obviously shifted to foreign objects in the head, and the attention to the side effects of drugs has been greatly reduced.

Others can ignore it, but Jin Sichen himself cannot.

While waiting for news about John Woo, he continued to investigate the report carefully. It was only after reading the last page and confirming that Lin Fan's abnormality had nothing to do with the side effects of the drug that everyone completely focused their attention on the foreign object in his head.

Although it was ultimately determined that it had nothing to do with the side effects of the drug, no one dared to give Lin Fan medicine at will.

Fortunately, she had good food and drink in 800, and under the protection of Song Ren and Zhang Chunhua, she didn't even have a chance to break her skin.

Time passed in waiting, and another ten days passed.

After knowing that Lin Fan couldn't swim and almost drowned, Song Ren added swimming lessons to Lin Fan and practiced twice a week in the swimming pool of the villa area.

Swimming itself is also a good exercise, which can increase physical strength, exercise lung capacity, and reduce joint damage.

The swimming time is scheduled at around 2 o'clock after lunch break. At that time, I had just finished lunch and had a lunch break, so my energy was at its peak. Lin Fan took a half-tour and half-rest, and returned to the office building to "go to work" an hour later.

Lin Fan returned to 623 after swimming that day. As he strolled past the open conference room, he was suddenly stopped by someone.

"Lin Fan!" The familiar male voice contained a smile.

Lin Fan turned around and saw a person sitting in the conference room who shouldn't be here.

"John Woo?!"

John Woo came to see Lin Fan. Double update on the fourth day. Hey, come for recommendation tickets or monthly tickets. mwah