I'll be the top first, you're chasing your wife in the crematorium

Watching "You endure it quietly, holding yesterday in your fist quietly. The sweeter the memory, the more hurtful it is, and the more dense and shallow cuts are left in the palm of your hand."

Shi Haokun felt that Xiao Mian was writing. He kept thinking about the memories the two of them had together in the past, but it was precisely because of these memories that Xiao Mian wanted to let go, but couldn't, and that's why he got into trouble. Covered with bruises.

In the end, I will be so desperate, and use that decisive way to say goodbye to everything before.

And what about Shi Haokun himself? After knowing that Xiao Mian committed suicide, he never even visited Xiao Mian!

He has never even taken a look!

Shi Haokun knew that he had a cold temper, and he didn't bother to take a second look at people and things he didn't like.

But in Shi Haokun's heart, Shen Xingmian was considered half of his younger brother, and he had grown up with him.

Even if Shen Xingmian did a lot of things that he didn't like at that time, he shouldn't be so indifferent and didn't even bother to look at them.

He even felt that it would be good if Shen Xingmian committed suicide. At least he would be relieved and finally stop pestering him.

Thinking of this, Shi Haokun frowned deeply and closed his eyes in pain.

He has done so many things to hurt Xiao Mian. Now, what should he do to make up for his debt to Xiao Mian?

What should he do to make Xiaomian forgive him?

What should he do to make Xiaomian fall in love with him again?

Shi Haokun opened his eyes almost masochistically, forcing himself to continue reading the lyrics written by Shen Xingmian.

"You are not truly happy, your smile is just a protective color you wear."

"Keep your soul locked up forever."

"The world laughed, so you laughed together in a group, when survival was the rule, not your choice, so you stumbled around with tears in your eyes."

Looking at these lyrics, Shi Haokun remembered something that he had almost forgotten.

He remembered that it was a banquet. Shi Haokun couldn't remember what the banquet was.

At that time, Shen Xingmian's mother had just passed away, and he had already signed an agreement with Shen Xingmian and became her contract boyfriend.

At that banquet, Shen Xingmian appeared in front of everyone for the first time as Shi Haokun's boyfriend.

Shen Xingmian was very nervous at that time, but after Shi Haokun arrived at the banquet, he kept chatting with his partners and did not take Shen Xingmian into consideration at all.

He just remembered that Shen Xingmian left him for a while, and when he returned to him, when he was not talking to others, he asked him in a low voice: "Brother Kun, when are we leaving?!"

At that time, Shi Haokun's voice was very cold and he said impatiently: "I'm still busy. Your current identity is my boyfriend. Do what a boyfriend should do and don't disturb my business discussions. "

When Shen Xingmian heard what Shi Haokun said, she was stunned for a moment, then immediately put on a smiling expression and said, "Okay, I understand!"

After Shi Haokun talked with several people for a long time, Shen Xingmian asked him in his ear again when he would leave.

Shi Haokun said with a disgusted face: "I asked you to come to this banquet with me so that you could stand beside me and play the role of my boyfriend. I didn't ask you to ask me questions."

After saying this, Shi Haokun ignored Shen Xingmian.

Just when someone asked who Shen Xingmian was, he simply said, my boyfriend.

Shen Xingmian smiled obediently at the visitor, and her smile was bright.

When Shi Haokun thought about this now, he realized that Shen Xingmian had been following him obediently since he walked into the banquet that day. He started asking him when he was leaving. He only started asking after Shen Xingmian left his side.

In other words, something must have happened during the period of time away from him that made Shen Xingmian refuse to stay at that banquet.

But at that time, Shi Haokun didn't notice anything wrong with Shen Xingmian.

Thinking of this, Shi Haokun frowned even more tightly and sighed heavily with regret.

Just like the lyrics say, "I stand on your left side, but it seems like there is a galaxy across the way."

Isn't this the state he and Shen Xingmian were in at the banquet? ?

The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable Shi Haokun felt. His chest felt like a huge boulder weighing a thousand kilograms was blocked, and Shi Haokun couldn't breathe under the pressure.

He took out a cigarette from the drawer, lit one, and took a deep drag.

Shi Haokun smoked. He learned to smoke when he was still acting in order to get closer to the role he was playing.

After filming that movie, Shi Haokun gave up smoking.

However, due to the sudden death of his parents and the company's internal and external troubles, Shi Haokun started smoking again in order to relieve the pressure.

Later, the company gradually got on the right track, and he spent very little time smoking.

It takes him almost two weeks to finish a pack of cigarettes.

Now, Shi Haokun can only use smoking to relieve his inner discomfort.

He leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes in pain, thinking about the time he spent with Shen Xingmian.

Inevitably, I remembered the last words Shen Xingmian said to me on the phone on the day he committed suicide.

"Okay! Shi Haokun, I agree! I agree to sign!

I will never appear by your side again, I will live my own life! "

Thinking about this sentence, Shi Haokun opened his eyes unconsciously and looked at the sentence in the lyrics, "You deserve real happiness. You should take off the protective color you wear. Why should you be punished if you lose it?" Woolen cloth?

Can you let all the sadness end at this moment and start living again? "

Shi Haokun looked at this lyrics over and over again, and he smiled as he read it.

But his smile was ugly, bitter, and regretful.

He deserves it for laughing at himself!

I deserved to lose Shen Xingmian!

You deserve to be in such pain now!

I deserved that I didn’t know how to get Shen Xingmian’s forgiveness!

It's a shame that I don't know how to get Shen Xingmian to come back to me!

He deserves all of this!