My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

AMICITAS Mission Three – Mission Day 202

ARES 3 solar day 201

At about the beginning of the car chase scene, Fireball suddenly realizes that he is dreaming.

In fact, there have been various signs before. For example, although the car he and Mark drive is a red and white sports car that looks like a prop for the police duo, the two protagonists in the play do not have beards (this is different from many secondary characters), and Mark and The fireballs all have huge beards. Now that I think about it, this feels even weirder; normally, most dragons don't grow beards.

Another example is that the object they were chasing was "General Lee" at the beginning, but in the blink of an eye, it turned into a bus like the one in the Patchridge family, and at the same time, its speed and maneuverability were not reduced at all.

Finally, there were dementors, or at least unidentified creatures that looked like the dementors that Fireball imagined - a vague figure covered with a black blanket. You can meet one on every street corner: someone who has just come out of the roadside store, carrying large and small bags of groceries and is about to go home; someone is walking along the street pushing a stroller; and there is a person wearing a huge flat top. A top hat with a brim lined with fur or something like that to block out the sun. Of course, this hat is also pure black, but this guy is also holding a cane with a white gold-plated head.

Fireball was certain that in real life it would be impossible for him to notice so many tiny details while racing at seventy miles an hour on the legendary streets of California. (The reason he thinks California is fictional is because Mark has reminded him over and over again that almost everything that appears on those TV shows is made up and cannot happen and will never happen. So it’s very Obviously not only California, but also places like Hazzard County or Watts are the origins of legends. So when the show occasionally mentions Houston, Pasadena or Florida, Fireball will be a little confused. mind, because these are real locations that Mark’s bosses often mention in their conversations.)

But it was only when Fireball saw Steve Austin passing their Ford on foot at speeds well over seventy miles an hour that he became convinced that he was in a dream. It's not because Steve Austin appears, or because it's impossible for humans to run at a speed of seventy miles per hour; according to Fireball's idea, Mark may be some kind of human with physical defects, because there are no human beings on earth. He was sent to Mars only if he met the standards. This thought had appeared in his mind many times before.

The problem was that Steve Austin passed them three times in slow motion without swinging back behind them. Fireball wanted to get closer and get a close-up of Steve, so the entire universe immediately went back in time to let him take a second look. After that, Fireball wanted to take a closer look at the scene just now, so he broadcast it a second time as he wished.

So, this is really a dream. Fine. If this is the case, the strange design of their car where the steering wheel and clutch pedal are on Mark's side on the left, while the accelerator and brake are on the right side of Fireball, can naturally be explained.

But now is not the time to consider such issues. Being in a dream is just an insignificant little detail. There is no need to wake up in a hurry at the moment, but seeing that the evil-doing Partridge family will soon run away with a load of moonshine, if Fred Sanford, the scrap and moonshine dealer, is allowed to succeed again, Sheriff Hogg will They are coming to take away their police badges and tell them to pack up and get out.

Fireball signaled to drive onto a side road. "Turn right," he said. "It's a shortcut."

"I can't do that," Mark yelled. "The road is closed."

Sure enough, a sign happened to pass by: Road closed - Broken bridge. The reading angle is completely unreasonable, and their speed is too fast. It is impossible to read this line clearly in any normal Euclidean universe, but in dreams anyway, geometric logic is one of the dispensable characteristics.

"Believe me," Fireball told him, "we can do it." One of the reasons Fireball thought he liked dreams was that he didn't have to get lost in a jumble of English and Pony words. Confused about how to speak. He just spoke subconsciously, and of course Mark could understand it immediately.

Ford then turned sharply to the right, passing through a large number of roadblocks and warning signs without seeing anything; suddenly, the crowded city around him and the streets full of dementors doing things that were not like their daily lives were no longer there. exists. They were now on a dirt road in the forest, driving at the same speed of seventy miles as before. In front of them was the ever-changing broken bridge, which was inevitably connected to a sloping dirt slope.

The Ford hit the ramp and took off at seventy miles an hour.

The dream world suddenly slowed down and stagnated for a while; in Fireball's less than lucid dream, his mind was rapidly making a series of logical inferences.

The logical chain here is like this:

(1) We are the police;

(2) Therefore, the car we are riding in is a police car;

(3) Forty times out of fifty when a police car trying to perform a bridge jump while chasing a virtuous and sympathetic criminal (side quote (3a) Who could be more sympathetic than a children's folk rock band?) Nine times the police car ended up in the water and sank;

(4) It follows that there is a % chance that we will get soaked and may be injured.

This logic is impeccable and irrefutable, considering the assumptions made by television programs in the 1970s (and early 1980s).

The bridge deck on the other side then actively retracted from them. The formerly silent pond below turned into the surging waters of Manehattan Bay.

"Absolutely not," Fireball thought secretly, "We can't just end in failure. The serum must be transported out! You big iron lump, fly to me, fly to me!"

There was a roar from the engine.

Then the engine started to roar really loud, because it was no longer a regular Ford engine; the source of the sound was a Flea-1 thruster from Cherry Berry Rocket Parts and Chore Company, and the fireball returned to its own In the cockpit, he was carrying out his ill-fated maiden voyage. In front of him, through the extremely small observation window, he could not see clearly the destined hillside directly in front of him.

What's even more unreasonable is that the person sitting in the second seat next to him is Mark wearing his own EVA space suit. The human looked around and shouted at him: "You actually went into space on something like this?!"

Before Fireball could reply, the oncoming mountain peak hit him face to face.

The sweaty Fireball sat up suddenly. Even as a magical creature, dragons do sweat, but special conditions are required for this to happen. Dreaming about your own death is one of them.

Food poisoning was one of them; moments later he found himself vomiting violently while hugging a nearby commode. The commode had recently been put back into service as part of an emergency effort to save Cave Farm; now that Fireball's first stomach cramps had subsided, its contents smelled even worse than usual.

The sound of the dragon returning all the midnight snacks woke up Mark. He leaned out from his bunk and asked, "Fireball? What's wrong with you?" Then he added in a more suspicious tone, "Did you eat it?" The rest of my turkey?"

"No." Fireball didn't forget to lie even between vomiting.