My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

Mission Log – Solar Day 39

I have a sore back today and am even more tired than when I towed the spacecraft.

Remember the idea I mentioned earlier? It seems that the ponies have similar ideas to me. And this method really works, but it’s a lot of work. It took me several minutes to find two pieces of skin in the dismantled shell of the spacecraft that were large enough to be transformed into a sled. It also took me several minutes to carefully operate the high-tech equipment from the earth (smashing it with a hammer). Transformation. The parachute rope used in the previous tow became the harness used by Berry and Spitfire to tow the sled, which took about five minutes.

After that, we spent seven long hours together in Area E. Starlight and Dragonfly use magic to move the perchlorate onto the sled. Fireball and I used two small pieces of spacecraft skin with polished edges to shovel dirt so as not to scratch the spacesuit gloves. Berry and Spitfire dragged the sled out one after another, dumped the things at the slope where the rover was parked, and then returned to the cave.

The pony ship's outer skin is chemically indistinguishable from ordinary metal—they must have performed some magical treatment to enhance the material's durability. It's probably been rust-proofed or something, so pouring some oxidizer on it won't cause any problems. So we really did it. The sand was dumped back and forth, pushing as fast as possible. We nibbled on cold food packets in the rover cabin—a whole portion this time, since it was a laborious day. Even the dragonfly wandered around and took a few bites. If you get a chance, you still have to ask Xingguang why this insect has such strange eating habits.

Overall today was quite fruitful. A quick calculation shows that even if we include the need to clean up the perchlorate-contaminated sand nearby, we have probably completed half of the total work. Today we have been in and out of the cave nearly ninety times, and even the load capacity of Spitfire can only be half of Berry's at most. By the time we finish work, the mound of soil will probably be as level as the top of Fireball's helmet.

I can probably finish the work tomorrow. Of course, after this is done, the large area at the foot of the mountain will be a no-go area for at least a long time until the Martian planetary wind blows those things away. Unfortunately the residential area is downwind, but that can be postponed until later.

But looking at the pile of unstable explosives, I can't help but feel a little worried. The stuff must have been completely dry originally, but when I looked at it this morning I noticed that some of it was caked on; there was even some slime-like stuff forming on the surface before we finished today's EVA session. The best I can guess is that a very small amount of water vapor in the cave air was absorbed by the perchlorate. Obviously, in addition to making things burn quickly, this thing can also deliquesce and absorb moisture from the environment.

But obviously the scene I was worried about did not happen. This thing has been quite stable. I haven't even seen a single Mars. I guess - and I hope - it's because the Martian environment is so cold that it doesn't react to anything. After a day, I was actually more worried about the patch on my space suit than the perchlorates. See, I actually kept my flight suit on - the one that Sol 6 had punctured, which I patched after I pulled the antenna out of my pelvis. This is probably the second best thing I have left that I can wear for work in the car. If something happened to damage this suit—assuming I survived—the intact suits would be able to continue to be used.

It’s almost time, so I’ll put my pen down here for now. The workload today is quite heavy, so we all have a night off tonight to catch up on TV dramas, starting with The Future Drama Club for Children with Cerebral Palsy, and then a few episodes of mindless car chases. At least tonight Starlight won't be asking me why these cops haven't lost their jobs when (1) they were corrupt and (2) they didn't think they could arrest people before they even got into the car.

Mission Log – Solar Day 39 (2)

Transcript: Conversation between Dragonfly and Mark Watney (note: no translation was used)

(Note: Towards the end of an episode of Justice, some country singer from the late 70s and early 80s appeared and started singing; think about it, too, if a star was driving down a two-lane road in rural Georgia to a remote place. Holding concerts in local places will only attract tickets from those stupid police officers.)

Dragonfly: This music is good! Why are they playing music now?

Watney (struggling with Watson and Doyle's acting skills, and limited by the available vocabulary of probably no more than a hundred words): Uh... Bad Cop stopped. Say you broke the law and you want to perform or whatever.

Dragonfly: Oh...what if the Patquji family stops? Are they going to perform too?

Watney: Well... the Partridges are in California. This one is in Georgia. These two places are quite far apart.

Dragonfly: They all look the same.

Watney (racking his brains trying to explain): What's on TV isn't real, is it? It's all made up. Maybe they were all taken in the same place.

Dragonfly: Oh...that makes more sense! Roscoe asked Partridge and the others to perform!

Watney (giving up treatment): OK, OK. as long as you are happy. Go ahead and write your fanfic, and I hope the number of reads will exceed one million as soon as possible.

The most damning thing is that I am typing this text at three in the morning, because subconsciously I want to help that insect write fan fiction, and even dream about it. Obviously there's a part of my mind that supports Shirley Jones and Denver Pyle's CP. But why? If only David Cassidy and Catherine Bach were a pair that could barely make sense.

Sorry, I might lose my mind if I continue like this. If I had this kind of thing in my head, I would probably write a fanfic where the eldest son of the Patchridge family drives the bus off a cliff GG as retribution for stealing my Daisy Duke wife.

I've had enough. We'll have a new show tomorrow after cleaning up that pile of perchlorate. Just don't get my brain in knots again. Or, how about Invincible King Kong?