My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

AMICITAS Mission Three – Mission Day 525

ARES 3 solar day 515

Transcript – ARES 4 MAV video transmission, start time 11:14 (based on ARES 3 mission)

Cherryberry: Hermes, MAV calling, waiting for media activity to begin, over.

Beth Johnson: MAV, Hermes read. Good morning, Commander Berry. You're early, over.

Cherryberry: Starlight and Mark finished work early today, so I thought we might as well get this thing out of the way now so we have time to run simulations this afternoon.

Mark Watney: Hello, Johnson!

Meimei: So whatever questions you guys have, I'm ready to answer them. Over.

Johnson: OK. Let's start with this lighthearted question: "You've been around Mars for most of this trip, so you must have seen a lot of rocks. Which one is your favorite?"

Berry: That's it? That's it? (Angry) ...I'm sorry, but Ms. Johnson, this is a stupid question. I'm not a rock scholar. I know one, but I'm not her. I don't have a favorite Martian rock. I have no interest in Martian rocks. I tell you, it would be best if I never saw a Martian rock again in my life!

Can't you newspaper guys come up with a better question? Favorite rock? Why not ask me about my favorite spoon? That's... just... stupid!!! What's the next question? "Are you looking forward to the launch of Sol 551?" Of course, bullshit! Because we hate this place, we just want to go home!

You really want to keep picking on my favorite? If you want to know, give me Groot, Mark.

Watney: Here we go.

Meimei: See? This will grow into a cherry tree. It will produce lots of delicious cherries when he returns home. I used a fruit pit to grow his mother tree because I needed a thought to keep me alive. I knew in my heart that cherries would not grow here, but I still did it because even if there were no cherries, I could still have hope. I could still look forward to the future. And now my hope is to take him home with me. This is my favorite! This is real! It's not some broken stone!

I'm sorry for getting so angry, but if you have such stupid questions in the future, it's better not to ask them. You can continue, over.

Johnson: That's fine. Let's try this one out: "How difficult would it be for you to lead a team on Mars?"

Berry: That's more like it. Yes, it's difficult. I never thought about leading other ponies, but it just happened. I fly flying machines. Besides eating cherries, flying is my biggest hobby. I don't like being the leader, but it has to be done by someone.

I always try to take care of my crew, make sure they're all okay and so on. It's not an easy job. This place is dangerous. Four of us have been injured or sick, and we've all had close calls. And then there are a few of us who sometimes push ourselves too hard, regardless of our own limitations. By the way, Mark, how's your back?

Watney: Actually it was pretty good, thank you Meimei.

Berry: I'm sorry. But my biggest responsibility is to be the one who stays calm and clear-headed when things get serious. That's even harder. I'm just like any other pony, and all I can think about is screaming and shouting for help and running around aimlessly, but that doesn't help. Panic is panic. And panic from above is explosive and destructive. So I put my fear aside and focus on the work. First and foremost, getting the job done. Making sure everyone's working hard, everyone's safe, and everyone's united and working on the task together. Only if I calm down first, can everyone else calm down, and then we can get things done.

Johnson: OK. Next question: "If you were not the leader of your team, who would you like to take your place?"

Meimei: Actually, I tried to give up before, but they wouldn't let me. They didn't want to take on this role. But Feihuo has a lot of command experience. But on the other hand, since the MAV is a human spacecraft, maybe Mark's people would want him to come... Mark, what are you doing!

Watney: (moves closer to the camera, shakes his head and waves his hands, mouthing the word "don't" repeatedly)

Meimei: Mark, move aside! Thanks! Anyway, yes, Spitfire or Mark, if I had to choose, it would be these two.

Johnson: "Do you feel prepared for the enormous test of commanding your crew during the escape mission that is to follow?"

Meimei: I just said I wanted to quit. To be frank, none of us expected this to happen. Mark was only supposed to stay here for a month. We were in another world, and we didn't even plan to land. But we were all trapped in a place like this, without anything we needed. Who would be "prepared" for something like this? But somehow, we survived unexpectedly. We will continue to survive. I will also do my best, at all costs, to ensure that every member of my team returns home alive. Even if everything turns upside down.

Johnson: "What do you think after seeing a spacecraft built by a different species?"

Meimei: You mean the MAV? It's absolutely gorgeous! At least it was pretty until we opened it up. Anyway, it's obviously a great spacecraft. I'm really looking forward to flying it!

Johnson: "As the first non-human pilot in human history to fly a human space vehicle, how do you feel?"

Meimei: Well, I can't say for sure yet. I still have to prove that I'm the best horse to fly the spaceship. If I'm not qualified, then - is that the right word?

Watney: Right.

Meimei: If I don’t qualify, then I won’t have the chance to sit in the driver’s seat.

But speaking of which, you humans are much more dependent on computers than we are. To us, computers are still a very new kind of science…science…technology. Your computers can do so many things that our computers are far behind! For example, computers can communicate with each other without wires! Your computers can even play movies! Even if we can't take your computers back with us, the things we have seen are enough to change our world! Every pony would want a computer of their own, so that they can chat, send pictures, or do other fun things with friends all over the country anytime, anywhere! However, this is not necessarily a good thing… Some ponies I know would not even be able to step out of their own homes if they really had such a thing…

Watney: Berry, there are many people like you on the earth.

Meimei: Anyway, in our case, the computer is a backup. It helps, but the pilot has the final say. In the MAV, the pilot feels like he can only, uh... give the computer some suggestions, and then the computer will do what it wants while ensuring that it does not pose a danger to the spacecraft.

Major Martinez on the Hermes once taught me, "Rule number one: You must never override a computer unless you know something it doesn't know. Rule number two: The computer always knows more than you do. And rule number three: Even a powerful computer is not omniscient." What he meant by this was to trust the computer, but to take over if there was a good reason to do so. This was not how I thought when I was learning to fly, but I can still learn some new tricks.

Johnson: Okay, and this is related to the following question: "How would you feel if you knew you couldn't fly the MAV off Mars?"

Meimei: To be honest, I'd be disappointed. I do this purely because I love flying. I'm not really interested in exploring new worlds or anything like that. I want to go to new worlds because I can fly there. I've flown all kinds of aircraft before, but this is the only chance I have to fly a human spaceship. And if it's not my turn, it means I'm not good enough in this area. So I have to make myself good enough. I will do it.

Melissa Lewis: Commander Friendship, I'm sure you will. Lewis here. How are you today?

Meimei: Hello, Commander Lewis! I'm doing fine here! I'm still waiting for the simulator practice this afternoon! Is the interview over?

Lewis: No, Commander Berry, I just wanted to take over the last few questions. Next question: "Are you comfortable with the idea of ​​traveling on a ship that is not under your command?" I have to say that my intention is to make you as comfortable as possible as a passenger, but the Hermes will inevitably be very crowded on the return trip to Earth. Over.

Meimei: I've been a passenger before. It's not a big problem to adapt. I'm sad that I can't fly the ship that brought us here, but it can't be helped. It's done its best. Next question?

Lewis: "When you go home, do you have any idea of ​​starting a cherry orchard?"

Meimei: Uh... a little bit... what's the word, Mark, fighting with yourself in your heart?

Watney: Contradiction?

Meimei: I guess so? Before I started flying, I worked odd jobs in various places and went to many farms. My family has several large cherry farms. But at that time, I didn't think it was what I wanted to pursue. I didn't think I would be good at it. But even though I love flying so much, I now want to go back to the farm for a while and try growing cherries again. The reason... I guess, maybe it's because the current situation is different from the past.

Lewis: Last question: "Would you like to go to Japan to attend the cherry blossom festival there?"

Meimei: I'm willing to go to any cherry blossom festival. As long as it's not on (jiligurus) Mars!

Watney: Did you hear that, everyone on Earth? Aliens are coming to steal cherries! Everyone, lock your food cabinets! Yes, there's only one, but she's really hungry, so you better be careful!

Berry: Mark——!!!