My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

AMICITAS Mission Three – Mission Day 99

ARES 3 solar day 100

[07:56] JPL: Good morning, Mark. This is Bruce Wu. We plan to further modify Rover and use it as another surrogate sojourner. We are uploading a patch to Rover that will allow you to disable the direct communication link from the rover to Pathfinder. This operation is very important, otherwise Pathfinder will treat both rovers as sojourners and try to communicate with them at the same time, which may cause malfunctions.

We previously sent you a zip file when we installed the patch for rover 1 to communicate with Pathfinder. Open the folder located at /usr/bin/upgrades, copy the compressed package to a flash drive, and then run it on another rover. Under the current circumstances, please put the radio system of rover 1 to "off" state first, and we will complete the work of switching the conversation and download functions tomorrow.

Since most of today will be spent doing system updates on rover 2, we won't have much time to talk. So we decided to let you add the following contents to the file upload queue in the following order:

* Your complete mission log from Sol 6 to today;

* Two photos of each guest (preferably the earliest one you took plus one taken today);

* A description of each of your guests and their role on the team;

* A brief history of their space program - we know Starlight Glimmer has written one before;

* Photos of guests’ technical documentation;

* In addition, there is the Starlight translation of these materials that you mentioned;

* Other report materials completed by Starlight Writing;

* And any relevant information about the use of "magic" that can be provided other than videos.

Don't worry about file transfer being interrupted midway. The software will restart the next day for any file uploads that did not receive confirmation of successful delivery. Once the upload begins, Rover Two will send files via Pathfinder until the upload queue is complete.

We know it takes time to collect the data and arrange it correctly. The upgrade of Rover 2 will begin at 8:30 local time and is expected to last no less than five hours. At least until then, the rover won't upload any data.

If the upgrade fails to synchronize correctly with Pathfinder for some reason, please turn off the radio function of rover No. 2, turn on the radio of rover No. 1, enter the Pathfinder function interface, and select "Synchronize with Pathfinder" . If the repair is not successful, we will check the information on the ASCII dial at 8:00 local time two solar days later, and then respond according to the situation.

Here is an email from Dr. Shields. She asked me to remind you to read it.

We have now almost completed the specific design of the supply aircraft, and construction work has officially begun. After research, we decided to set the launch date about eighty days from now, so the expected landing date is within 600 solar days. We plan to launch two Red Falcons, and then choose to launch the third Red Falcon according to the specific manufacturing progress or requisition the Delta 3 rocket to be used in the Hawkeye 1000 plan; the total load includes two new radio systems, and the habitation module Spare parts, a 3D printer, and enough food to last you all for solar days. Theoretically, by that time we will have already prepared the Ares B mission to pick you up.

Finally, Dr. Kapol has a small request for your friends. The aerospace dynamics department hopes to experimentally verify the specific parameters of the alien spacecraft thruster. According to the main engine data of the spacecraft you provided previously, the thrust is too large and is not suitable for you to use the tools at hand for field testing; however, we believe that the working range of the motorized thruster just falls within the range of the mineral sample scale, and it is worth a try. . We have already formulated a specific implementation plan. Once completed, we will be able to test and verify the results of your unit conversion. Please seek their opinions on this plan before making a decision.

Good luck!

[08:13] Watney: Thanks for letting me know. I'll ask the ponies for their opinions. But I have an alternative here; the ponies' space suits have built-in motorized propulsion components. We can put a pony in the space suit for testing on the scale based on the technical parameters of that component, so as to reduce the risk of accidental damage. It will be much smaller. If the Aerospace Dynamics Department agrees, please let me know.

It's good to know that the supply mission is going well and I understand that you will do your best. But I still have to say, it's a good thing you're not British. The last time they built a Mars probe, they were probably half as fast as we are now, and in the end they built a Beagle 2.

[08:26] JPL: See you later [1], Mark.

Mission Log – Solar Day 100

It's the hundredth solar day, and I'm still alive for now. There are only about eight hundred and fifty left... that much.

Today is software update day for the rover. The update process for Rover 2 was smooth sailing; in order to replace Rover 2 as a fake sojourner and radio relay station, the update process for Rover 1 was a little trickier. The battery of Rover 1 is still hanging in the saddle bag of Rover 2; and even though it has been connected to the power supply of the rover charging station, Rover 1 still cannot start without the battery installed.

Fortunately, task standardization helped me a lot this time. I drove Rover No. 2 and dragged Rover No. 1 around the habitation module to an open power outlet. All power plugs used in this mission are compatible with each other - even the battery sockets. So things became simple; I pulled a cable directly from the habitation module and connected it to the battery compartment of the No. 1 rover. Now the No. 1 rover thought that its battery was installed back, so it started naturally. .

Yes, I could just put the battery back in, but anyone who thinks that would be easy and reasonable has never moved a rover battery themselves. Rover 1's batteries aren't going anywhere until I find a damn good reason to move. I may reconsider this plan after Starlight's leg injury heals, but judging from the current situation, directly connecting the No. 1 rover to power should be a more ideal option.

Anyway, after I successfully booted up Rover 1's on-board computer and started the software update, I went to clean the solar array and then went back to the Hab to take photos. NASA wanted my guests to take off their spacesuits and take some close-up photos.

Apparently those guys at NASA forgot one thing; the sex ratio in the habitat has transitioned from two-thirds males on Sol 1 to two-thirds females on Sol 100. In fact, this comparison is inappropriate, because Commander Lewis would never waste his precious time on dressing up just to be on camera; while my guests, on the contrary, were almost going crazy with their work.

It should be pointed out here that our sanitary conditions have almost dropped to the lowest level of survival. The mission's supplies of soap, wipes, and other cleaning supplies only last six people for thirty days, with a ten-day surplus. This meager supply alone is not enough to survive 900 solar days for a human, three ponies, a dragon, and a dragon. But we try to slow down the consumption as much as possible to extend the life of the supplies; this means decontamination showers are only allowed at the last resort, and I can only use my electric shaver once every three days, and Starlight has to. Cast a spell every day to sterilize the cleaning sponge.

So with all due respect, none of us look like fashion models. I don't look like an astronaut now, I look more like a homeless person; and those ponies look like a bunch of stray horses. So once they knew that their appearance would be photographed and sent back to Earth, they all immediately went crazy.

Fireball and Dragonfly are not too interested in this. Yes, Fireball was indeed the first to rush to the clothes inspection mirror; but he only spent a minute brushing his paws with the thorns on the top of his head, and spent another minute stretching his arms. It's done. And Dragonfly looks almost the same now as when she first arrived.

But the other three are even worse. Berry and Spitfire were accidentally stuck in the shower room while competing for the first place to take a shower. Starlight, on the other hand, was yelling from her bed, begging her grandpa and grandma to get the magic battery so that she could levitate herself all the way to the bathroom before them (which she obviously had the ability to do).

Of course, after all the fuss and taking a shower, they all wanted a haircut. I admit that I actually want a haircut myself, after all, my hair has grown to the point where it’s getting in the way of wearing my space suit headset. However, in the end we discovered that there were only two pairs of scissors in the cabin: one was a metal scissor in my tool box, and the other was in Tingting's tool box.

There was no doubt that we started fighting over it. First of all, Tingting lost, because Berry gave her a direct order to hand over the scissors, and also gave her a bunch of the most impressive and indescribable insults I have ever heard as justification - you know, I was in Raised in Chicago. Listening to Berry's angry scream for a long time, I am very sure that she has changed her ways to greet Dragonfly up and down without any repetition. I asked Starlight to translate, to which she responded, "You don't want to know." Then, realizing my adamant attitude, she added, "And I don't want you to know either." It's okay, there's nothing wrong with it.

(Note: I discovered that the pony scissors have rings just like the human ones. Why bother? And the point is, how to use it? Starlight just shrugged and replied: "It has always been designed this way." )

The situation on my side is much more optimistic, mainly because Berry can't control me. The same goes for Spitfire, even though her poor English skills are indeed worthy of the image of a military instructor. She colluded with Berry and used all kinds of sweet words, hard words, coercion and inducement to preach to me. To be honest, not to mention reaching the level of Xingguang or Tingting, even if their English level is even slightly decent, they may be able to have some success, but with the current situation, I definitely can't take what they say seriously.

However, I lost in the end because I forgot that they still had a magic trick to deal with me. I didn't notice the sound of the clasp on my toolbox opening, so I didn't realize Starlight had stolen my metal scissors until a pair of scissors floated past my eyes and flew towards the bunk. Theoretically, I could have snatched it back at that time, but what was the point of doing so? After all, I can take the opportunity to teach them a lesson later. Now I can only steal a whetstone from Fireball and spend a few minutes with the scissors when I have free time.

But I think it shouldn't take long. As we all know, horses usually have extremely thick and rough hair on their temples, but those ponies obviously don't have temple hair. Come on, they have a coat of fur - densely packed with short, stiff hairs that grow, fall off, and grow back to their original length; but these things are really rough. I know this because every time I do maintenance on my air conditioner, I have to dig piles and piles of this fallen hair out of the filter. I must remember to remind Bruce Wu to bring me one or two sets of spare filters in the supply afterwards. I only have one set of spare parts here now.

However, the material of their sideburns and tail hair is almost exactly the same as human hair. Of course, there are some features that are not included: Spitfire and Starlight's head sideburns have two different colors of hair at the same time; while Starlight's sideburns have hair of two different colors. The color of fur is out of print in nature on earth except for molluscs. Berry has long, powdered curly hair, which reminds me of macaroni and cheese (even the unique color of the artificial cheese is perfectly restored). Spitfire had her hair cut short like a hedgehog, making it look like her head was on fire. Among the three, Xingguang takes care of her temple hair the most meticulously: trimming it again and again, adjusting it again and again until her temple hair presents this beautiful wavy curve. I swear this hairstyle is impossible to pull off unless you have hairspray or even glue on your head.

And the part after this enters my blind spot of knowledge-hoof care.

Each crew member of the Ares 3 mission has a personal hygiene kit - including a set of personal electric toothbrush heads, personal hair comb, personal nail clippers, etc. This last tool is especially important because improperly trimmed fingernails and even toenails can pose a threat to the structural integrity of the spacesuit.

However, those ponies were only going to stay in space for five days according to the original mission plan, and they didn't bring anything with them.

Starlight suggested using her magic to help several other ponies deal with their hoof problems. However, after seeing her use magic laser to cut the edge of her left front hoof (the one that was not broken), those others seemed less anxious. To be honest, if I saw a guy's fingers making smoke when he was cutting his nails, and then let that guy touch me, I would be a little bit reluctant.

Ting's hooves were obviously not that long, and she argued that she didn't know about it; Huo, the only other creature with fingers (claws) besides me, also argued that she didn't know about it. .

So yes, obviously in addition to being a botanist and engineer on the Ares 3 mission, I am now a full-time farrier. So I spent over an hour learning how to—with extreme care—use one of my pocket knives to trim an alien pony’s hooves. Of course I also took a lot of photos during the process. I heard that NASA wants to know the physiological anatomy of ponies? It was actually kind of me not to let the girls twist their butts to show off their faces.

Spitfire's hooves were in the worst shape. She told me that in their country she usually spent as much time in the air as she did on the ground, and sometimes even longer; so she could not bear the daily abuse of her hooves.

Dragonfly just took one look at it - two hooves were gaping, and one was curled inward - and immediately asked to inspect the condition of the Spitfire suit. What followed was a wave of surprise inspections of other pony space suits, mainly inspecting the inside of the soles of the space suit boots. Then she asked me for two food packets, to which I responded, "Just pick the ones that are mostly like white flour. Like spaghetti or something like that."

It turns out that at least one layer of the material in the pony spacesuits is made of bughorse slime - and almost everything that looks like rubber in these suits doesn't come from a tree in the forest. But the vomit of Chong Chong Ma. The ponies' hooves were almost wearing out the soles of their shoes. Fortunately, our dragonflies can fill the grooves created by their hooves with freshly baked slime, and the patch immediately blends in with the surrounding old material, almost seamlessly. Yet despite this, she still had to consume almost an entire day's worth of my food to get the job done.

Of course I agreed, but I had to wait until after the photos were taken.

To my surprise, even though Berry's hooves were in the best shape, her space suit boots were in the worst shape. She has EVA more times than the others, even more than me, so the inner sole of each of her hoof boots has been completely cracked and penetrated, and the outer sole has also shown signs of damage. This time it was Tingting's turn to turn against the guest. She announced that the safety of EVA operations could not be guaranteed until the space suit was repaired.

She couldn't blame her at all; if the boots of an Ares space suit had suffered this level of damage, it would have been enough to halt the entire mission and send the entire crew home. In any case, at least the activities of the astronauts involved will be limited to the habitation module until launch day. Fortunately, the Ares 3 mission's extravehicular work suit (unlike our flight suit) was specially designed to adapt to the high-loss and harsh environment similar to that of the moon. JPL even risked angering Vulcan by bringing fresh lava from Hawaii to stress-test the space suit. Mars looked like a walk in comparison.

Finally—long, long after Rover 2 had finished updating—the ponies allowed me to take photos. Afterwards, once I had a few photos of each one to choose from, they sat me down and gave me a haircut (the end result was stunning considering Fireball and his claws were not assisting) ), shaved my beard, and finally took some photos of me.

NASA will receive these photos along with other data sometime tonight. I've queued them all up for upload.

Mark Watney has a beautiful appearance and can make thousands of sails sail[2].

Well, there must be four sails anyway.

I damn sure wish it had at least four sails.

[Note:]

1. Pip-pip/Cheerio (goodbye/see you later): They are all expressions used to say goodbye in British spoken English.

2. The face that launched a thousand ships: refers to Helen, the daughter of the god Zeus in ancient Greek mythology. She became the Queen of Sparta at the age of sixteen and was later abducted by the Trojan prince. Sparta King Da was furious and led a thousand warships to attack, triggering the famous Trojan War.