My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

Kathy Warner walks directly onto the stage through a group of one-to-one scale models: five of them are colorful, big-eyed alien species, clustered around a ragged human in the center. "Welcome to 'Watney & Co.' Today is one day since the bizarre accident that stranded an Ares 3 crew member on Mars along with the entire crew of an alien spacecraft from a parallel universe. One hundred Martian days passed," she said. "During these six very different individuals, they worked together without any assistance from their own worlds, in the harsh environment of Mars. Successfully survived.”

"They have always been accompanied by various pains and setbacks along the way, such as the huge explosion that tore the No. 88 airlock directly from the habitation module on Sol 30; at the same time, they have also achieved many amazing achievements, such as the aliens A simple telegraph communication system was successfully established with their world on Sol 6, and Mark Watney resurrected the Pathfinder probe twelve days ago to obtain a more stable communication channel with NASA. . Two days ago, Hermes crew members successfully conducted voice communication with Mark Watney and the other two trapped passengers, which was the first time since the Sol accident."

"But despite all these glorious achievements, our friends are still hanging on by a thread. The aliens' food reserves have been depleted, and their survival now depends entirely on their use in a Martian cave. The success or failure of a farm created with alien technology and Mark Watney's botanical expertise will be known in just a few days. The harvest will be determined in just a few days. And misfortune begins to set in, with Watney having a lucky break after suffering severe burns to his arm. After narrowly escaping death, Dragonfly was overworked in rescuing Watney from the fire, and Starlight broke a leg in the explosion of the living cabin. Who could have imagined what kind of accidents would be waiting for them in the future? Who will be hit next? Will it be Berry, Fireball, or Flying Fire?"

"One hundred days have passed since the accident on Sol 6, and the six trapped people still have not found a way for them to escape from Mars. NASA Administrator Theodore Sanders said this morning at Johnson Johnson in Houston This question was answered at a press conference held by the Aerospace Center.”

Casey looked up at a black area on the wall of the studio, where images related to the press conference were being projected. Teddy Sanders was still as well dressed as ever, standing confidently in front of the podium. "Risk is a constant and key factor in any astronaut career," he said. "However, it is important to know that careful planning and consideration of various possibilities in advance involve risks that Mark Watney and his friends are currently facing. There is a big difference between the emergencies that need to be dealt with on the surface of Mars. The situation they are facing now is completely unexpected by anyone when NASA was planning the Ares 3 mission; and according to the aliens, what they have over there This was also unexpected.”

"Our ability to communicate with alien worlds is extremely limited, but I have taken advantage of various opportunities to communicate directly with our colleagues on their end. I can assure you on their behalf that neither they nor our colleagues at NASA All staff will do their best to move Mark Watney and others to safety."

"Unfortunately, the aliens are not yet ready to carry out a rescue mission. They have only jumped to our world by accident, which means they do not have an accurate understanding of our universe and their own." relative position. Therefore, they are temporarily unable to determine when they can send out a rescue mission. However, today, right here and now, I can tell you an exact date."

The reporters gathered on the screen and off the stage all waved their pens in unison. The hall was so noisy that Sanders had to remind them to keep quiet. “NASA is committed to completing the training of the Ares 3-B mission team and sending them to the Hermes aircraft within the next launch window.” He continued, “Thanks to the assistance of the VASIMR thruster[1] carried by Hermes, We were able to calculate that the exact date Hermes reached Mars' orbit was solar day 768 - days remaining."

"The current result is nearly a hundred days faster than our previous estimate, but it still does not meet our ideal expectations. The previous explosion in the habitation module has proven to us that survival on Mars is full of uncertainties. .The equipment designed for the Ares 3 mission was already out of service, and Mark Watney had to think of temporary solutions to solve some problems that we had never dealt with when planning the mission. Every emergency like this would Resources from Ares 3 and alien spacecraft are consumed, and these resources cannot be effectively replenished in time. Therefore, the sooner we go to rescue Mark and our alien friends, the more they will rely on these extremely limited survival resources. The less.”

"In view of these factors, NASA has announced that it will provide a $768 million reward to any individual or group that proposes a feasible solution that can reach Mars significantly earlier than Sol and return safely to Earth after rescuing the six trapped people. . NASA will award full prizes to those individuals or groups who propose solutions that we ultimately adopt; and for those participants who proposed feasible solutions, but were ultimately not adopted by NASA for various reasons, NASA will also award A smaller reward. NASA wants to show that our top priority right now is to get Mark Watney and his friends to Earth safely as soon as possible."

"Full details about what we call the Watney Award will be announced in a full press release prepared for you by Anne Montrose after this meeting. Any other questions?"

After a flurry of attention-grabbing noises, Sanders gestured to a reporter to ask, "What if aliens rescued Watney before NASA could rescue him?"

After hearing this, Sanders smiled slightly bitterly. "In this way, we can save taxpayers a lot of money, and we can breathe a sigh of relief." He continued, "But the difficulties faced by the aliens at present are not optimistic. Let me tell you this, in just a few Months ago, our physical model of the universe still believed that traveling through parallel worlds was not feasible; I think it would be forgiven if those aliens found it very difficult to repeat their previous behaviors." At this time, there was a burst of laughter from the audience. Rare laughter. He continued, "So we must act based on the most pessimistic expectations at the moment, which means that before we reach Mars on our own for rescue, there is a high probability that aliens will not be able to carry out rescue work."

Another hand went up, and a shout rose above the din in the background: "How's the supply mission going?"

"The Sleipnir mission is progressing well," Sanders responded. "Thanks to SpaceX's assistance, we expect to have three Red Falcon boosters ready in fifty days. We are adjusting the card The launch schedule of the Cape Navlar base within 600 days starts today to make enough space for the body assembly, safety inspection and launch preparation of three supply aircraft with air bag landing systems. These aircraft should It can reach Mars as early as 4 solar days and deliver food and various supplies to Mark. If the aliens successfully complete the rescue before this time, these supplies can still serve the planned Ares 3 mission. , to complete the unfinished business of Ares ..."

The projected image gradually disappeared, and Casey's eyes were focused on the camera again: "More plans to rescue Mark Watney and the alien trapped people will continue after the following news is broadcast."

When the lights came back on in the studio a few minutes later, the cardboard model on the stage had been moved to the side backstage, making room for the usual set of tables and chairs. The studio projection wall that was used to show NASA press conference scenes in the first period of the previous program is now dynamically displaying a series of pictures and photos. "The plight of these martian victims has captured the imagination of the world since Hermes' first blurry images from orbit first recorded multiple creatures walking on the surface of Mars," said Casey. However, a batch of photos sent from Mars just a few days ago caused a stir. Even the most whimsical artist would be stunned by their true appearance after taking off their space suits. Since then, Internet public opinion has been It exploded quickly, and the Internet began to be filled with all kinds of positive and negative remarks about aliens.”

"The guests we have invited to the show today include Neota Lincoln, the organizer of the #BringThemHome# campaign on Twitter and Gemm[2] platforms; and the Reverend Martin Spencer, whose controversial The sermon video 'Let Them Die' received million views in just one day after being released on the streaming video site; also features John Karoli, creator of the Ares Hoax website. Welcome Everyone participate in this program.”

The three guests responded politely to the host's introduction in a low voice. At this time, Kathy's smile froze on her face, and she kept crossing her fingers and praying in her heart, hoping that the words she repeatedly emphasized to them backstage before the show officially started - "Pay attention to civilized communication, otherwise we will kill them immediately." Your microphone signal, we don’t care who started it” – it really works.

Where did her producer find these guys?

Watching the remaining half hour of the "Watney and Friends" series on TV being filled with all kinds of stupid nonsense, Anne Montrose couldn't help blurting out: "What the hell are these guys from CNN?" Where did you find it?"

"Human nature." Teddy just shrugged. It was already time to get off work, and the only people left in his office were Annie, Mitch Henderson, and an exhausted Venkate Kapoor. Teddy, however, remained in high spirits. Even though he was just watching TV, even though the list of important things on his schedule was empty, he still sat in his chair seriously, as if he was about to get down to business, as if he was discussing JPL's test of the Sleipnir mission. The Tumbler aircraft encountered various twists and turns during its construction.

"Fuck humanity." Anne still kept complaining, "When I was still in college - Gan, I was really naive at that time. At that time, I was thinking about bringing the truth to the public every day, so as to This promotes the progress of human nature. By the time I got my degree, I had matured a little, so I decided to work at NASA, hoping to carry forward the glory of human nature and use these deeds to slap other people in the face. As a result, I "To be like this now," she pointed at the scene on the screen and roared, "and to encourage and abet such despicable behavior for the sake of work."

At this moment, the Pastor Spencer on the TV screen is gushing: "We must remember that Satan's original form is Lucifer, the angel of light. You must know that the temptation that attracts people to evil is always covered with an attractive coat. So these aliens, who have the appearance to inspire our most protective instincts but claim to possess the power of witchcraft, are clearly seducing us in an effort to turn humanity away from the true teachings of God in the end times.”

"Look! Does this sound like what a human said???" Annie roared out, "The better I do my job, the more happy people like him will get the opportunity to be on TV and in front of the camera. With a well-groomed appearance, a fake smile, and blatant propaganda of hatred and ignorance in front of a global TV audience. This is just to cater to the so-called "fair news reporting". What nonsense! And I There is nothing you can do about it and you can only watch as thousands of idiots take what this bastard says as a standard."

"Do you need me to talk to CNN?" Teddy asked.

"Don't! This will only make the situation worse." Anne sighed. "That bastard will seize the opportunity and use it to accuse us of trying to control public opinion. It's all the same old routine." She slumped down in her seat. He muttered, "Damn, it makes me want to blow a bottle now."

"It's already time to get off work." Mitch whispered, "Why don't you go have a drink?"

"I haven't had a drop of wine since I graduated from college." Anne replied, "I don't have the guts now. I guess once I fall into the bottle, I'll never get out. It's such a waste of myself. I have seen too many cases.”

"How was the response to the speech?" Venkat was actually not interested in this and just wanted to change the topic as quickly as possible. Recently, he had to return to his office by 5:14 in the morning to catch up with Watney's daily conversation, which started at 8:00 sharp. In addition to arranging his daily life according to Mars time, he also has to bear the full responsibility of being a NASA project leader, and his biological clock has been completely messed up for this.

"The response was nothing short of great," Anne replied. "It completely exceeded our original expectations. It was a perfect combination of gravitas, serious examination of difficulties, and low-key optimism. Except for those who insisted that 'manned spaceflight is purely Everyone except the guy who wasted taxpayers' money and 'the government can't do anything' embraced it." She said, raising her finger to the screen again; Venkat never understood her. Why, because what she was about to say was in line with what the conspiracy theorist on the screen in front of her claimed was "NASA's computer-animated Mars research mission was a hoax created by a disgruntled employee." There is absolutely no connection with the theory that a group of cute pony aliens are about to be revealed to the world. "The only problem is that the contest you proposed has attracted many crazy people who want to get rich overnight. I have long been familiar with this." You reminded me."

"But this is still a good idea." Teddy is very confident in his decision. "This can show our attitude of actively accepting outside opinions, and it may indeed bring us some unexpected ideas. I think. By the way, be sure to inform all departments of NASA about this next sentence. Our current two top priorities are as follows in order of priority: providing supplies to Mark Watney as soon as possible, and flying Hermes as soon as possible. To Mars. Everything else is secondary.”

"The internal notice has been written." Anne muttered.

"By the way, talking about secondary missions," Venkat suddenly remembered something, "How are the preparations for the launch of Hawkeye 3?"

"The re-inspection should be completed in another five days." Mitchell replied, "Our launch time is already one month later than the scheduled window, but the Aerospace Dynamics Department gave us a corrected orbit, so As a result, the actual arrival date of the final spacecraft at Saturn was only nine weeks late. For this reason, we had to consume about 10% of the post-Saturn orbital velocity increment to meet the requirements. However, this adjustment was completely within the mission parameters. Within a limited acceptable range.”

"That's right." Teddy said, "This mission must be completed as soon as possible, so that once the boosters of Sleipnir 1 and 2 are ready, they can be transported directly to the launch site. Sleipnir 3 Has the delivery date for the aircraft booster been determined?”

"Not yet." Venkat replied, "SpaceX is already desperate to prepare these boosters as soon as possible. For this reason, they have begun to warn us that some of the Ares 4 supply mission launches will be hindered because of this matter; after all, in order to prepare our boosters "With enough usable payload to be sent to Mars under current orbital conditions, the idea of ​​recovering the rocket's first stage has been completely forgotten."

"This is a secondary issue." Teddy's attitude was very firm, "Just deliver the booster as soon as possible."

Venkat nodded. At the same time, he couldn't help but yawn.

"But first," Teddy said, "you have to get some sleep. Your health comes first."

"I know," Venkat said, "but I don't want to get out of this chair just yet."

So they watched the rest of the show in complete silence; thankful that one of the industry's leading cable news channels decided to stop insulting viewers' intelligence with eight minutes left in the program and start showing some of the latest buzz on the Internet. Related artistic creations based on these Mars photos.

However, the last three paintings managed to capture their attention. Even Mitch stood up straight and stared at these works, which each stayed in the picture for about ten seconds.

One of them showed a group photo of the entire Ares 3 crew, including Watney, but each one was painted to look like an alien. Lewis is a long-necked dragon with a snout smaller than a fireball, but the wings on its back are much larger, stretching out to embrace everyone; Martinez is a bug horse with a pair of large, glowing brown eyes. Eyes and a mischievous smile on his face; Johnson is a unicorn filly holding a computer with a beam of light from his horn; Baker is a pegasus wearing a stethoscope; Vog I was a strange hybrid of a hippogriff and a gryphon, wearing a pair of glasses; and sitting in the middle, the earth pony half-covered in dust, Watney, was making silly faces at the audience.

The second picture is the reversal of the previous one - the five aliens turned into humans. Cherry Berry is a tall and slender blonde woman, wearing a pink jumpsuit and holding a spacesuit helmet under her arm; her starry appearance is vaguely similar to Hermione Granger, with a horse on her head He has a hairstyle like Ji Simpson and wears a violet lab coat; Fireball is a tall and powerful man with a hooked nose, and his head looks like Captain Kirk[3]; Dragonfly is a man wearing shabby clothes. An African woman wearing a hole-in-the-wall jumpsuit has blue eyes and a smile on her face; there is also Spitfire, a red-haired woman wearing a pair of sunglasses who looks like she stepped out of an Air Force pilot recruitment poster. characters.

The final painting presented reproduces the scene from the Last Supper. From left to right, the set first shows the five Ares 3 crew members on Hermes in different postures; then there is Mark Watney sitting upright in the center of the screen, with a not-so-sacred wry smile on his face; and then there are five An alien victim; finally, in the original position of Judas in the picture, a Roman centurion was playing with a bloody sword in his hand, with a weird smile on his face that was horrifying.

At least one artist believes that the suffering of Mars' residents is far from over.

[Note:]

1. VASIMR Engine: variable specific impulse magnetic plasma rocket engine.

2. Gemm: A variant of the Discord platform in this novel’s setting.

3. Captain Kirk: Character in Star Trek.

4. Redhead: People with red hair are commonly stereotyped as having a bad temper.