My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

Mission Log – Solar Day 109

Gan, our workload today is really amazing!

There are about one hundred square meters of potatoes planted in the cave farm—about three hundred and sixty plants. Today we dig them all up - leaving not a blade of grass behind. So we now have 360 ​​potato plants on hand, each carrying three to four small tubers, for a total of approximately 1,500 potatoes. This is not a small amount.

I had to supervise the entire process - hell, I actually did most of the physical work in the end. We want to ensure that as many potato plants as possible survive so that we can increase the size and speed of the next crop. Ponies don't learn to be gentle, because they can only work with their hooves and mouths; and Fireball, of course, doesn't learn to be gentle, because you know it, so I won't say it. However, we were able to successfully complete the mission with just me, a dragon, and a pony in a spacesuit slinging around in the cave without causing too much damage to the branches, leaves or roots of the plants. .

A total of 1,500 potatoes, each with six to ten bud eyes, far more than the number of plants we need to fill the residential farm and the 100 square meters of potato field reserved in the cave. However, since potatoes have shallow root systems, I decided to plant them on both sides of the overflow gate, where the soil had been eroded by running water and created a deep trench. This freed up the farmland originally reserved for potatoes, and the remaining alfalfa seeds we had previously used could be put to use again. Judging from our harvest this time, the potato harvest is already far ahead of the hay, so it is definitely a reasonable decision to let alfalfa occupy the favorable terrain.

To be honest, I don't really expect the newly planted potatoes in the cave to do well. We had not fertilized that piece of land downstream before with our simple version of fertilizer. There is indeed some bacteria and moisture in the soil that came from the main farm area, but it still lacks many nutrients such as amino acids. So the only thing we can do now is to move the dirty box over tomorrow, sprinkle the contents on the two newly planted potato fields, and pray for a miracle to happen.

The situation in residential areas is quite different. We had to let those new batches of potatoes sit out to dry for a while because they couldn't be started until we were done with hay harvesting over the next few days. Most of the time we had to be busy carrying large piles of hay between the cave and the living area, and we could only carry about 20 kilograms at most each time. (The largest airtight container we have can only hold twenty kilograms at most. And given the ponies' experience with the crops affected by the last Hab explosion, we decided to proceed with caution and try our best to avoid any risks. The possibility of the grain harvested this time being exposed to the Martian environment. Normally dried hay is barely acceptable, but freeze-dried alfalfa is a completely different story. Of course, this weird taste may also be caused by residential areas Alfalfa plants grown indoors are the result of excessive environmental stress, but we cannot afford to take this risk now and must not take it lightly.)

When I return to Earth, I must design a plan for NASA to build the first interplanetary combine harvester in history; or at least a rover with a pickup truck bed.

Anyway, when this round of replanting was completed, we still had - I counted carefully - one thousand, three hundred and fourteen small potatoes on hand. Judging by their size, they are estimated to only have about a hundred calories each. I would have to eat at least twenty of these potatoes a day to meet the recommended minimum calorie count, but 1,314 potatoes divided by twenty means they would only provide enough for a moderately active human being. Sixty-six days of food.

Still, this was our first successful harvest on Mars, excluding crops left over from the explosion of the Habitat Module, so we celebrated with a small potato feast.

We stuffed the rest of the potatoes into Airlock 1; they would gradually become freeze-dried, but (obviously) the freeze-drying process wouldn't have as bad of an impact on the taste of the potatoes as the alfalfa. After that, we took out another two hundred potatoes and transported them back to the living cabin. After cleaning, we started the microwave oven for cooking, which can process five potatoes at a time. (Five is already the capacity limit of the microwave in the cabin. If these potatoes can be of normal size, only three or four can be crammed into them.)

Note that potatoes are not normally used as horse feed. Part of the reason is that equines are extremely sensitive to the toxic amino acids in immature potatoes, most of which break down during microwave heating. But the main problem is that horses are not very smart, so they often swallow whole potatoes alive without chewing them. The consequences are either suffocation or death from indigestion and hernia. And my guests obviously didn't grow up in a barn (get it?), so naturally the above problems no longer exist, and you can eat potatoes with confidence.

So...after a while, there were potatoes in front of us, and without exception, they were all baked in ordinary microwave ovens. The taste is bland, and your mouth is full of starch after one bite. It is a perfect interpretation of tasteless food.

There was no way we could eat all two hundred potatoes, not even a hundred; now just thinking about the fact that we would have to swallow thirteen to fifteen normal-sized potatoes as food every day, it didn't take long. My stomach would start to churn in protest.

I've been sparing my ketchup like Captain Queeg with his strawberries, but in this case... there's nothing I can do about it. In fact, it was like I was going on a killing spree at that time.

After eating the fourth potato, I opened the pathfinder interface before the signal transmission window was closed and issued the following message:

[18:14] Watney: Here's a note to Bruce Wu of JPL: You must send ketchup. The more the better. There's also butter, chives and sour cream. But these are not for eating; by the time they arrive I will probably never want to see any potatoes again in my lifetime. After five hundred solar days of eating potatoes, as soon as these sauces arrive, I will take a bath in them, because by then I will have turned into a potato.

[18:21] HERMES: And this will affect your amazing character... Are you starting again?

[18:29] JPL: We're going to see if we can build a couch out of ketchup packets later; Mark, this is tailor-made for you.

Look, this is the kind of behavior NASA has. I can't make any decisions.

ESA: To the Fireball. The message begins. quotation marks. In the name of the power of the bloodstone scepter, I order you not to die, nor will any of your companions die before we come to rescue you. You will show your outstanding dragon power, perseverance and wisdom, and strive to protect your companions from any harm. This is an order from the Supreme Dragon King, you must obey it! clear? quotation marks. complete.

AMICITAS: Message received, completed.

ESA: Sorry, this message is more straightforward than we expected, over.

AMICITAS: Fireball - that's actually the most pony-esque thing we can say. complete.

Interview Transcript #3

What's your name? "Dragonfly!"

你在你们的飞船上担任什么工作？ "I am an engineer on the spacecraft. If any mechanical of the flash engine is damaged, I have to be responsible for repairing it. In addition, I am also helping to guide other team members to learn English."

Why did you first get involved in spaceflight? "My queen announced that we were going to space, so I immediately got involved! You know, I'm the fastest flyer in the swarm!"

Who is waiting for you there? "My queen, and of course the other bug horses!"

What is your impression of humans? "Well, apart from TV characters, I've actually only seen this guy in front of me, but he seems to me to be quite nutritious."

Do you look forward to visiting Earth after you are rescued? "Of course! I want to meet Venkat and Irene, Mark's team members, and everyone involved in building this small and exquisite base!"

What will you do when you finally get home? "Of course I will do whatever the queen asks me to do!"

What's your favorite disco song? “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love.”

If you could get one small item from your world (other than a spaceship), what would it be? "A button that summons a spaceship when pressed. Mars is an unfriendly planet, and we all want to get out of here as soon as possible."

Do you have anything to say to people on Earth? "Spaceflight is so fun! But being stranded on Mars is no fun. It just sucks. (Mark, is that really the word?)"