My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

AMICITAS Mission Three – Mission Day 185

ARES 3 solar day 184

Dear Xavier Bustamente,

In fact, your act of honoring me with a seventh-inning grand slam home run should have been an honor, and considering that the stadium where the game was played also named yesterday "Mark Watney Day," your timing was also Not inappropriate. I also trust that your actions were not malicious.

But you're missing something crucial: You were a Houston Astro in Chicago, facing pitchers wearing Chicago Cubs uniforms, and went 9-4, leading to a Cubs loss. .

Therefore, as a Chicago native and a loyal Cubs fan who vows to share weal and woe with the team, I hereby solemnly declare to you, take your stupid grand slam and go home and eat shit.

I still went through a psychological struggle before saying the above words. I did not mean to insult you personally, and I believe that you will not be reduced to the point where hostility controls your mind. However, out of due loyalty to your hometown team, you had to make this decision in the end.

This is not because I don’t want to accept your favor. If you're planning on kicking a high ball into midfield for the rest of Chicago's schedule today and tomorrow, you're more than welcome to greet me in that way.

Or you could consider waiting until July when the Astros play the Cardinals, and I wouldn't mind hitting as many grand slams as you want then. I suggest you take care of (in order of rank below) Cherry Berry, Starlight Glimmer, Fireball, Dragonfly, and Spitfire first; but if you have got these twenty points and are still willing to count me in, then I You're welcome; those useless losers are only good at giving out points.

We look forward to seeing you play against our Cubs again in the next World Series.

Yours sincerely,

Mark Watney

Dear Mrs. Rowling,

Thanks for writing in and asking us if we liked the story you created. Judging from what we know about the plot so far, Mr. Harry Potter’s childhood was not a happy one, but for the time being, most of us still like the Harry Potter series.

At the same time, the complexity of the plot also gradually increases as the story progresses, inspiring us to further deepen our understanding of your language, which has benefited us a lot.

But I still want to point out something inappropriate here: Unicorn blood does not have the magical properties you describe. While we do have magical powers, we are not innately capable of healing, and our bodily fluids cannot bring the dead back to life. I understand that you were completely unaware of the actual situation when you wrote these stories thirty years ago, but I hope you will add some notes to correct them in future releases so that unicorns can safely visit Earth in the future.

Furthermore, the Phoenix's tears cannot reverse the petrification. If in our world a cockatrice petrified a friend of the phoenix, the phoenix would jump on its back and peck its head until it agreed to restore the victim; or if that failed, the phoenix would He will find Xiaodie and use the method of staring/making him feel ashamed and surrender. No matter what the situation, the phoenix will never cry; according to Ron Weasley, the phoenix is ​​not the kind of sentimental creature.

Thank you again for your letter, and I would like to pay tribute to you and the magnificent legend you created with all your heart.

Yours sincerely,

starry

(Side note: Most spells can be cast without any verbal expression of concentration, and even those exceptions will not be affected by slips of the tongue. The core of using magic is intention, not words. - Starlight)

Dear Earth Fans,

My name is not Abby. I don't know her, but if you were trying to email her you probably wrote the wrong address. And anyway I'm pretty sure she's not a bug.

But since it seems that you want to write an email to a bug horse that is stranded on Mars for some reason, and considering that I have nothing to do today, I will try my best to answer you. The problem is solved.

I'm actually not very good at giving emotional advice. I cannot create love, nor can I promote love. I just feed on it. If you really need it, I can forward your question to the all-horned princess of love, Princess Cadence (or as my queen would say, Princess of Food - it's a Bugs Horse meme) to answer. .

But as someone who has watched a lot of pony relationships develop, the best advice I can think of is: just ask him out and be done with it! His silence could mean a lack of interest in you, but it could also just be shyness or something else on his mind. Only by taking the initiative can you understand the actual situation!

Yes, he may indeed reject you directly, but if it really gets to that point, no matter what you do, there is basically nothing you can do to save the situation. Rejection is a normal part of life (especially for Chongchong Pony - even now, most ponies still think we are a bit scary), but it cannot be a reason to preconceptionally think that you have been rejected, otherwise you It will become your own stumbling block. Stop making wild guesses and let him make the choice. Real love is much more delicious and fulfilling than imaginary love, and it is also more filling.

My friend Mark just finished reading this and told me that I shouldn't convey this question to Princess Cadance because it would make me the "initiator"[1]. I don't know what that means. I'll have to ask later. Ask Starlight. Finally, I wish you good luck!

dragonfly

Dear Wang Zhutao,

I still have a home there. My mother worked very hard to save many treasures for us. If she thought you were going to take her place she would come into this world and burn your house down. So we'd better be friends. Friends’ moms don’t burn down each other’s houses.

Fireball

To Lieutenant General Marcel Blankenship

Your Mightiness;

I am sorry that I cannot accept your offer to join the Thunderbirds. I serve our kingdom and work under the jurisdiction of our princess, so it is not appropriate to wear multiple hats.

I'm still very honored about it. Major Martinez also told me about your prestigious and glorious history, but unfortunately, one filly cannot be loyal to two princesses at the same time.

Flying fire greets you,

Major of the Equestria Earth Pony/Unicorn/Pegasi Combined Arms (Air Guard)

PS: Starlight Glimmer guided me through this response.

One more note: Sir, let the "Blue Angel" feed the fish. Major Martinez also told me about them. If even the navy wants to go to the sky, let them take an airship.

Orville, Ohio, acquired by the J. M. Smucker Company

First of all,

Yes, I love cherry preserves. I will be happy to say that your preserves are the best, as long as you meet one of the next two conditions I propose.

You can send your company's products and some preserves from competing manufacturers to Mars. I'll try some here and pick out the one I like best.

Or you can consider coming over and bringing me and my friends to your store, and then I can try your and your competitors’ preserves to decide which one is better. If you can't come, just send a spaceship over, and I will help you drive it back. I'm pretty good at piloting your spaceship.

Let us know when you have chosen. I’m looking forward to tasting many, many cherry preserves.

Sincerely,

Cherry Raspberry

PS: any type of cherry preserves will work. I like them both sweet and sour.

[Note:]

1. Set a president: Mark’s expression “set a precedent” was misunderstood by Tingting as “set a president”.