After being reincarnated, he joined a top boy band and then lost it

Here are some of my thoughts on writing this book. The author can only write 500 words, but I really have a lot to say.

At first, it was just for my own entertainment. Because I was under too much pressure, I silently typed 10+ words on the computer every day when I was alone.

The original intention of writing this is that I am really envious. It’s not that I don’t have friends in real life, but I really don’t have any friends like svt, who I have been with for ten years and have such a deep bond with each other.

So I thought, if I had been with them when they were still trainees, would I have such a deep bond?

Then I started writing and amusing myself.

Why did I post it on Tomato? Because this is my first time writing fan fiction. I have never been involved in these circles before, so I didn’t even know there was a platform where I could post fan fiction at the beginning. I just posted articles on Tomato. People can make money by watching it, so I thought of posting it to relieve the financial pressure on my family.

When creating the character Song Shengshi, I first tried my best to make him as far away from me as possible, including gender, age, personality traits, and professional choices.

Because I hate myself.

But in the process of shaping, I couldn't help but let him get closer to me, including my family situation. My family was also in debt in the early years, my parents' situation, and my sister was diagnosed with bipolar. Although it was not as serious as described in the article, it was still I have been taking medicine. This can be regarded as a kind of warning to me, reminding me to pay attention to my sister's condition in time.

Therefore, the pressure from my family was really great. The closer I got to graduation, the stronger this feeling became. I began to have a strong impulse to work immediately to make money to support my family. However, due to the nature of my major, I could not find a particularly good job after graduating.

When I was a freshman in college, I dreamed of becoming a scientific researcher, publishing articles and getting a Ph.D., then teaching in a university. Now, all I can think about is making money.

Because of anxiety, I also have many bad habits, such as biting my nails, pulling out my hair, and even eating my hair.

But my parents don’t understand these things. Maybe they understand but they pretend not to understand because they can’t have a child with a mental illness in the family.

So every time I smiled and showed them my bald hair or eyebrows and said they were ugly, they just laughed with me, laughing that I would definitely not be able to get married in the future.

It’s good, I thought, so be it, because there are a lot of people in the world who are more anxious than me, and no one in this world is struggling to live.

Even when it was said that eating a lot of hair can easily cause appendicitis and require surgery, my first reaction was that this disease must never happen again after I work and make money.

I'm really stunned sometimes.

But I am healthy, cheerful, and good at social interaction, but I am not good at deep social interaction. I always find it strange that when I am enthusiastic, my friends are always very cold to me. When I want to stay away, my "friends" suddenly come back to me. This is something I have never thought about until now. The question I understand is, is it my character problem or theirs? I have no idea.

I really like myself, I think I am really open-minded, I don’t care about other people’s evaluations, if that person makes me feel uncomfortable during the process of getting along, I will consciously stay away, and I will protect myself I am doing very well, and I have the energy to provide psychological counseling to my family, to enlighten my parents, and to ask them not to quarrel or put too much pressure on my sister.

Some things make me uncomfortable, but I only feel uncomfortable for half an hour at most and it’s over. I really feel that my ability to change emotions is very strong.

I like myself very much.

Song Shengshi looks like me but not at all. When I first started writing, I actually brought a little bit of myself into it, but as I wrote it, I felt uncomfortable and disgusted. Then I tried to find a way to separate myself and treat myself as myself. I came to write for my child, and then I found that it was much easier to write this way, but I accidentally brought in some mother's mentality. I hope that everything goes well for him, but I hope it won't go so well. I hope he can grow up with setbacks, but I hope there will be no setbacks. If it’s too big, it shouldn’t cause too much harm to the child. It doesn’t feel like a good mentality. It’s not a good idea anyway. I’m giving up on this idea.

Writing fan fiction has really opened up my inner circle of Ren and Du. I write very fast. I earn 600 yuan for a month of full attendance, plus the rewards from readers and the income from reading, which can basically cover part of my living expenses. So I am also very happy.

It feels really good to be able to lighten some of the burden, and I am really grateful to the readers who have always supported me. I will continue to write until the story of Song Shengshi in my mind is completely completed.