you have today too?

Is it finally your turn to kneel?

Happy? Refreshing? Proud?

Do not……

Lin Qinshuang felt that she was rather sad, or even pitiful.

I feel sorry for myself, for Sheng Hong, and even more sorry for this era.

Molan is right, most of the time no one is wrong.

But fortunately, I am the one sitting on it now.

Thinking like this, Lin Qinshuang felt much better. She said,

"Duke Sheng, there is no need to be so polite."

Even Zhao Zongquan was promoted and made a king, so Molan would naturally not be stingy in giving titles to his own family members.

Sheng Hong was conferred the title of Duke.

Changbai, Changfeng and Changzhuo were each conferred the title of marquis.

Hualan and Rulan were conferred the title of princesses.

Only Sheng Tang remains the Earl.

Lin Qinshuang asked Molan whether this was inappropriate, but Molan said that Shengtang's military achievements would surely make him a king, so there was no need to show off at this time.

Military merit that can make you a king.

Is there a more powerful military feat than conquering the Wolf and the Lair?

Fearing that Molan had failed to convey her so-called feelings and expectations, Lin Qinshuang summoned Shengtang several times.

Most of them focus on comfort and communication.

Sheng Tang is a very simple boy. He likes to eat the same things as Molan. He likes to take care of flowers and plants, and he is quite accomplished in that.

If this son was his biological son, she wouldn't despise him.

I raise one Changfeng, and I raise two more as well. Isn’t that how I have raised them all these years?

Lin Qinshuang's thoughts passed quickly.

After Sheng Hong was offered a seat and sat down, he took it back.

"Is everything okay at home now?" Lin Qinshuang asked first.

At this moment, she was surprised to find that she was no longer speaking to Sheng Hong in a half-voice.

Is this her real voice?

It's not pretentious at all, and even has a sense of majesty and heroism.

After the palace maids and eunuchs in the palace had left, Sheng Hong responded,

"Everything is the same as before, but after all, he has been knighted, and everything has been repaired, and he is moving out to live there."

"so."

Lin Qinshuang suddenly realized that since they were all granted titles, they would each set up their own residences.

Even if we live nearby in the future, we are officially separated after all.

In the huge Sheng Mansion, only Sheng Hong, Old Madam Sheng and Wang Ruofu are left to guard Duke Sheng, who cannot inherit the title because his father is the emperor.

Changbai became a marquis with the Sheng family's property, and Changfeng also became independent. Although Changqiao was young, it didn't matter.

I heard that he is also preparing to start the imperial examination in a year, following in his sister's footsteps. Zhuang Xuejiu has been a little fanatical these days.

The Sheng family was definitely a large family in the city of Bianjing, but after they were scattered, the old house seemed a little lonely.

But Mrs. Sheng, that bad woman, should be happy to have some peace and quiet.

She finally stood out.

As the grandmother who was related to the empress by blood, the 'Grand Empress Dowager' in name only was more respected than Cao, the one in the palace who could not survive this winter.

Tsk.

Lin Qinshuang remembered the kindness of Mrs. Sheng who saved her, but she would never forget that she and Sheng Hong had the same self-righteous attitude of "finding a scholar to marry".

Lin Qinshuang suppressed her twitching eyebrows and sighed deeply.

However, this tone made Sheng Hong misunderstand that Lin Qinshuang was expressing her feelings and missing home.

He said hastily,

"I didn't touch your yard."

That yard...

Actually, it doesn’t matter if you move. There’s nothing much to think about.

So she said,

"It doesn't matter if you move."

"Shuang'er."

"Don't yell like that."

Lin Qinshuang interrupted Sheng Hong, looked at him, and spoke directly into his eyes without flinching or hesitation.

"This is also the last time I call you Hiro."

Sheng Hong's pupils were shocked. He couldn't understand Lin Qinshuang's sudden change, and he had no idea where her indifference came from.

But Lin Qinshuang herself knew it.

She never truly loved Sheng Hong.

Or maybe, I did have it before, but I no longer love it now.

and.

"You know what? I had a dream."

Sheng Hong frowned. So the problem lies with this inexplicable dream?

Then he listened to Lin Qinshuang's story.

“The dream was unclear.

Our Molan was not as good as she is now. She was not as sensible, not as smart, and not as outstanding as she is now. In fact,... she was not as pretty as she is now. She was ugly.

But she is proud, she is talented in poetry, she is competitive, she is like another me. ”

"There's nothing wrong with looking like you. She is our daughter no matter what." Sheng Hong said anxiously.

Lin Qinshuang smiled, as if she remembered something in her dream. Her eyes were a little dazed.

"You said this is your most precious daughter."

"of course."

Sheng Hong answered firmly, but this made Lin Qinshuang smile even bigger.

This time Sheng Hong understood.

This was not a laugh of relief or joy, it was a laugh of irony.

Lin Qinshuang's tone suddenly changed. She was no longer as calm as before. Her tone was filled with questioning, unwillingness, and even hatred.

she asked,

"So, even if it's your most precious daughter, you have to marry her to a poor scholar just for the sake of your reputation as a scholar?"

"how come?!"

“Won’t it?

If Molan was just a concubine's daughter, if I hadn't worked diligently to maintain my good reputation over the years, if Minglan's mother had died, if Hualan had married directly into the Zhongqin Marquis's mansion...

You still say you can’t? !”

Back to the beginning, if it weren't for Shuang'er's dissuasion, Hualan would definitely have married into the Zhongqin Marquis's Mansion. Without the connection of the eldest princess, relying on his own connections, his promotion in the capital would definitely not be as smooth as it is now.

More than ten years have passed, and he is probably still struggling as a fourth-rank official.

However, his children must marry into a wealthy family in order to win over enough in-laws and help for him. But relatively speaking, the face of being an official in Beijing is also very important.

Marrying his beloved daughter to a scholar was undoubtedly a very good deal.

Because this will prove his "innocence" and his "character".

What's more, Molan is just a concubine's daughter, so she won't suffer any loss by marrying down and keeping her husband's family in her hands.

Moreover, scholars have a promising future, but they will just live a few years of poverty.

Sheng Hong asked himself and imagined "what if".

He didn't need to answer anything. Lin Qinshuang, who had been with him for twenty years, knew what Sheng Hong was thinking just by looking at his expression.

"Master Sheng, let's stop here, we don't owe each other anything.

Whether it's the peace and stability of your inner house or the excellent upbringing of your children, they are all the result of decades of hard work between Molan and I.

And your love. "

Having said this, Lin Qinshuang paused slightly. She looked at Sheng Hong, who looked fragile as if he had been stabbed in the back, and finally decided to tell the truth.

It doesn't make sense that she should play the villain and Sheng Hong should just be the victim.

When she spoke, her voice sounded to Sheng Hong like the whispers of gods and Buddhas in his dreams at midnight.

"Your love, is it love, or is it the longing for something that is unattainable in youth?

As long as she listens to you, obeys you, is gentle and lovely, you will love her regardless of whether she is me or not.

Just like Wei Xiaoniang, if she is alive and well, what does it really matter to me?"

Sheng Hong felt as if his heart was being cut out and exposed in broad daylight.

Naked, with nothing to cover.

He was very angry, but the reason for his anger was that his thoughts were exposed.

So, has he always thought this way?

It turns out that this is not what is called love at all?

It turns out that the father he has always hated is actually like this now?

Besides that, Lin Qinshuang, who was sitting at the top, made him feel unfamiliar and frightened for the first time.

This feeling is exactly the same as when I saw Molan sitting on the throne in dragon robe.

At that moment, he felt that his beloved daughter had changed.

Now, he felt that the woman he loved most had changed.

So...have they changed, or have I never seen them clearly?

Thinking of this, Sheng Hong couldn't help but feel horrified.

He couldn't control himself, his voice was trembling, he took deep breaths and asked Lin Qinshuang,

"Minglan's mother..."

Lin Qinshuang smiled again.

This time she didn't curl her lips in disdain or give a gentle smile, she was laughing heartily.

She laughed for a long time, even tears came out of her eyes, and she even got a stitch in the side and felt a slight pain in her waist.

"look."

"I doubted it. You doubted it right there and then."

"Sheng Hong, there is no difference between you and your father.

You all are people who only love yourselves, and women are just objects for you to satisfy your own willfulness.

Look, now I have changed, I am sitting here, do you still like me?"

Sheng Hong was speechless.

He knew that he should perhaps say some sweet words to win back Lin Qinshuang.

But he can't.

Because he had loved her wholeheartedly in the past, after realizing that his true feelings were so unbearable, there were some things he couldn't say anymore.

He was angry and afraid, but more than that, he felt sad and pitiful.

I felt sad for myself, felt pity for myself, and also a little sad for Lin Qinshuang.

Have they been acting like this for twenty years?

How many twenty years can we have in our life?

In other words, it has been like this for twenty years, why can't we continue and let everyone live in a happy dream?

Sheng Hong didn't understand.

Is the problem with that dream?

"Let's end this honorably."

"Why.

Why do we have to be like this? Is it because of that dream?

Dream, it's just a dream!"

Lin Qinshuang doesn't think so.

How could there be such a bizarre dream?

Dreams are nothing but the integration of thoughts that you think day and night.

But Lin Qinshuang wanted to give Sheng Hong an explanation, so she said,

"In the dream, you said you would never find a good family for Molan."

“Scholars, everywhere is a good family!

Besides, our Sheng family is wealthy, so how could we mistreat our married daughter? Even if she marries an ordinary scholar, she won't suffer!"

"A good scholar is a good family!"

“Didn’t my cousin marry a scholar?

Even though he couldn't make ends meet at home, it didn't stop him from taking concubines and having an affair.

In three months, he either had a new concubine or a new one.

Where is the money being spent?

It’s my cousin’s dowry!

A good family? You call this a good family!

How could my cousin die with regrets? It happened almost thirty years ago, I will never forget it!"

Sheng Hong argued,

"Not all scholars in the world are like this!"

"Won't?"

Lin Qinshuang stood up, walked to Sheng Hong step by step, and asked him,

“What’s the difference between men in the world?

Just like you once said, every family has three wives and four concubines, and every family has a romantic and handsome man.

Since there is no difference, I will find a poor scholar. By the time he becomes successful, my daughter will be a virgin and a mother-in-law!

At this time, he is rising to prominence. Is Qing waiting to see him give all his money and sweet words to his new concubine?

Happiness has come 20 to 30 years late. After growing from a young girl to a woman, can she still think that honey is sweet? "

Lin Qinshuang pressed forward step by step, and Sheng Hong could only retreat unconsciously.

Lin Qinshuang questioned,

"Don't you understand?

You understand everything, you just don't want to think about it.

Because you feel that these are unimportant and trivial matters to your so-called court affairs and the so-called overall situation. "

"What's the point of us talking about this now!"

"Pointless."

Having said this, Lin Qinshuang became disappointed and calm.

Sometimes, what cannot be intervened cannot be intervened.

Things that cannot be understood by each other are destined to be incomprehensible.

Finally she said,

“In my dream, I also fought for Molan in this way.

After the truth was revealed, you broke my legs and injured my body, and finally I was exiled to a village where I was tortured every day.

But I have never regretted it.

I didn't see Molan get married, I just received news about her, but I think it was worth it.

It's really great that before I die, I can live peacefully in the manor without having to pretend to be nice to you.

My daughter will not follow my old path. Even if I am cut into pieces, I will not regret it.

So, don't be too sad.

We are all the same, and what we love most is ourselves.

You have your career and I have my Molan.

Maybe we have all been sincere before, but this sincerity, in front of the interests that we value most in our hearts...

It's shit."

As Lin Qinshuang was talking, to her surprise, her nose turned sour and her eyes turned red.

Who wouldn’t feel regretful if their youth was replaced by this?

But regret is regret, and no regret is no regret.

She turned away and ordered him to leave.

"Okay, Duke, I'm tired.

Don’t come here again in the future.”

……

Sheng Hong left in silence.

Lin Qinshuang sat alone in the hall, looking at the empty space below and stroking the unique chair in her hand.

She is now the most noble woman in the entire Song Dynasty.

The emperor's biological mother, worshipped and respected by everyone.

Twenty-five years ago, when she was wandering around, did she ever think that this day would come?

When her family fell into poverty and she and her mother lived in fear all day long and could hardly have a full meal, did she ever think that she could really become a superior person?

If my current self were to stand in front of my past self, Lin Qinshuang thought, she would probably say:

Don't be afraid, do what you want to do and be what you want to be.

But no matter what, don't dirty your hands.

We need to use smarter methods and more promising methods.

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