Eros, take you through sex

It seems that having too many memories doesn't make much sense, it will only increase the pain.

His eyes shifted to a cabinet that the boy particularly loved before. There seemed to be something important inside. It was locked, and his grandparents had not touched the cabinet. Driven by curiosity, he hurried to take a look. So, he stood up, walked to the cabinet, and opened it easily.

There were some small things that girls had given him before, broken, and a photo of him with his parents, and a photo of him with his grandparents. What a warm-hearted boy! And a diary. He was not a bad boy, why did people around him have such strong malice towards him?

He was puzzled, but in his current opinion, he also felt that boys were not very good. After all, they didn't like to study, didn't respect their parents, smoked and drank, fell in love, fought, and in serious cases might steal. His grandparents said that he and a few bad boys stole other people's electric vehicles. Thinking about it, it is very easy for a person to become bad.

The diary is a bit old, as if it has not been written in for a long time.

Maybe it was because of the cell phone. Ever since he got the cell phone, he seemed to have seen him posting on his social media. What happened to him? Why was he like this? Was it family? Parents? School? I think it was all of the above.

A person's heart is complicated, he thought.

So he picked up the diary, walked to the bed, lay down, and opened the diary.

"On a certain day of a certain month of a certain year. It was sunny.

The days I feel sick.

I don't know how he got into my world. A disgusting person."

He looked at the date and guessed that this boy's diary was written in elementary school, but the exact time was unknown. Who is he? He flipped through the diary page by page with curiosity.

Diary 1:

Dad and Mom both go out to work and haven’t been back for a long time. It’s so boring.

Uncle Zhang asked me to go to his house and said he would let me play with his cell phone, so I went happily.

He touched me and I resisted. He asked me to play with his phone and I agreed.

He is Zhang Jingjing's father.

Zhang Jingjing's father? Looking at these diaries, he felt that he had suffered some bad things when he was very young. A kind of pain surged in his heart. He didn't want to continue reading, but he wanted to know him urgently. Zhang Jingjing's father? He heard from his grandparents that he was a divorced single father with a child. He was said to have a good character and the child often went to his house to play. They didn't care about anything else. After all, in such an environment, it seems that some things are imprisoned and no one will notice.

Diary 2:

He took me to the bamboo forest, and there were things I didn't want to do.

He threatened me.

Diary 3:

I miss my parents so much, I wish they were by my side.

He came to me again, and I wanted to play games, so I agreed.

Diary 4:

When I grow up, I want to wander far away.

I don't love everyone.

A lot of the content behind was written in a subtle way. He couldn't bear to read on and closed the diary. A sudden feeling of discomfort came over him, making it difficult for him to resist. After all, in his pure consciousness, it seemed that some things would not appear.

He was eager to find him. But he couldn't go out. So he stood on the window sill and saw Zhang Jingjing's father standing on the opposite floor. He looked over there. He felt a little scared and hid subconsciously. This feeling is the same as that of boys, he thought.

However, he was invisible, and the man couldn't see him at all. Why was he afraid of him? For a moment, he himself felt incredible. Could it be that he had experienced something like this before? Ah! He tried his best to recall and imagine whether he had experienced something like this when he was very young.

I think the dark things are invisible in the dustiest places in the heart.

He closed the diary, and a scent drifted into the room. That faint fragrance did not make him feel relieved. He was trapped in a kind of pain, unable to extricate himself. He wanted to escape, and he said the formula again and again, but the god of love did not appear. He did not know how long he would have to persist in this kind of thing, and he felt sick.

For the first time, or perhaps not the first time, he felt disgusted by sex.

This nausea made it impossible for him to think of good things.

He wanted to destroy the diary, to erase all the memories about him. But he couldn't, he was trapped in his own pain. Yes, he had suffered such pain and such things before. He felt that it should be.

A cousin who was not very close to him came to his house to play when he was very young. He had a lot of fun playing with him. His cousin was in the third year of high school and he was very young at that time. I have forgotten what grade he was in. He took him to play, and I don’t know how to play a game. He said that if he lost, he would be punished. He agreed.

At that time, he didn't know what sex was, what love was, or anything. He just knew that his cousin was a little bit of that, and made him do things that he thought were unbelievable. He never played with him again, and felt disgusted. He didn't know when it started. Even when he saw him, he felt extremely embarrassed.

He began to understand his pain.

It turns out that sex can be painful.

No, love is beautiful, affection is beautiful, everything should be beautiful. He always believed that everything was beautiful. But reality hit him hard, and he thought of the god of love. He wanted to quit. He didn't want to explore the mystery, didn't want to understand other people's pain, and didn't want to feel this weird thing as a person. He couldn't do anything, he could only curl up in this room in pain, he was uncomfortable.

He wanted to jump out of the window, but the doors and windows seemed to be fixed, and he couldn't get out. Could it be that the god of love made him understand, but he didn't want to understand the pain! He could only collapse in this room, it was really uncomfortable, what a damn job, it was more uncomfortable than death!

He felt like he was going crazy, and he couldn't die, which was really uncomfortable. The God of Love still didn't show up, and he didn't know what to do. There was no instruction either. Did she just want me to suffer again? This was a disgusting god, a sinful god. He didn't ask clearly, but took the pill and came to this broken place to learn about a person's past. It was really speechless. It was really speechless. He felt uncomfortable again and again, and beat the pillow again and again. He began to regret coming here. To be honest, he felt that he would rather be reincarnated than do this job. He was not told about the reward, and he was really angry.

He cursed her.

Is there any way to get rid of this kind of confinement, this kind of trouble? He repeatedly thought about what the God of Love had said to him, but he could not find any flaws. He was powerless and hateful, hating that the God of Love was a liar, deceiving him, and asking him to do something that was not a job, but a test.

He felt uncomfortable.