The years I was in the human world

Xiao Fengzhuo stood up from under the old tree holding his broken right hand. Looking around, the whole courtyard was desolate. He looked at the old events that he had subconsciously placed in the corner of his memory and was about to forget, and he felt a sense of emptiness as if he was in another world. Here, everything was still the same as it was back then.

Xiao Fengzhuo felt that he was not someone who would be affected by the past, but Gongsun Wuyin's illusion was presented like this, so perhaps it still had some influence. He thought calmly, but so what? The past is the past.

Xiao Fengzhao stepped on the yellowed dead leaves on the ground, making crisp sounds. Whether it was hatred, love, care or indifference, no matter people or things, all his past turned into yellow earth. In the cracks of dynasties and in the waves of the long river of time, they all disappeared without a trace. Only he remembered them.

So no matter if he let it go or was stuck in the past, nothing could be changed. Xiao Fengzhuo grabbed the dilapidated red door and pushed it gently, and the old lock broke and fell down. The locked old palace door opened for the first time, and there was nothing outside, as if the lively music and dance before was just an illusion.

"See, the iron locks of the red gate cannot lock people up. What can lock people up is the complicated yet paranoid heart." Xiao Fengzhuo looked at the blank eyes and murmured softly. He was talking to himself. He did not smile cynically like before. The things in the illusion did make him feel unfair.

Xiao Fengzhuo stepped out of the palace gate, and the illusion of the secret world quickly faded away, and he returned to the corridor with dim candlelight and evil spirits lying everywhere. Gongsun Wuyin raised her eyebrows in surprise when she saw him coming out: "You cat demon look insignificant, but you are the fastest to leave my illusion in all these years."

"Really?" Xiao Fengzhuo laughed cheerfully, as if the illusion had no effect on him at all. "Maybe it's because I'm just naturally dull and don't take anything to heart. I don't have any inner demons."

"You are quite an interesting person." Gongsun Wuyin looked at him and actually laughed, tapping the bamboo flute gently in his palm. He said, "No wonder the demon king went to the master to beg for your life."

Xiao Fengzhuo only saw Yin Ji and Yan Gui, but Lu Zhouxue was nowhere to be seen. He thought he was still trapped in the illusion and was about to go back to the secret realm to look for him. Yin Ji, dressed in blood-red, slowly stopped him and said, "Are you going back to look for your little baby? You may be able to get out of this secret realm once, but it doesn't mean you can get out of it the second time."

"This seems to have nothing to do with you?" Xiao Fengzhuo looked up at Yin Ji with a cold expression, very much like the monks she had seen in the ancient temple, walking in the wasteland of burning wind and frozen earth, with the unruly look of a person who has traveled all over the world.

"It's up to you." Yin Ji took a half step back. Her master agreed to the Demon King's request and promised to save Xiao Fengzhuo's life, but he couldn't stop him from seeking death himself, right?

……

The drizzle falls into smoke, and the water is misty; the spring breeze blows over the hills, and the roads are heavy.

In late spring, the drizzle lingers, entangled with the spring breeze that cuts the willow leaves, and falls with infinite love. It falls all over the uneven eaves, and wets the hair of the god who is drunkenly lying under the intricate branches of the willow tree, as if he wants to speak out his heart, but in the end he leaves nothing behind, and disappears without a trace with endless attachment, without causing a ripple.

Lu Zhouxue stood under the eaves where the rain could not reach, staring blankly at the drunk man under the willow tree. He actually felt timid and dared only to look at the man's face with greedy eyes. The drunk god was unaware of anything and just turned over holding the wine jar. The wine in the jar spilled all over the floor, just wetting his clothes.

Lu Zhouxue slowly clenched his fists, took a deep breath, closed his eyes, then hesitated and opened them again. The spring breeze blew through the willow trees, and the God was still sleeping peacefully. Lu Zhouxue walked to the tree with drooping willow branches, slowly knelt down, and helped the man up with trembling hands.

The spring clothes on the God were thin, and Lu Zhouxue could feel the warm body temperature of the other person, fresh and agile. He hugged the person in his arms with a trembling body, his throat rolling up and down, as if he was extremely excited, and he couldn't utter a word.

He hugged her too hard, and it hurt Xiao Yueheng a little. The sleeper woke up dazedly, but he was still drunk and looked stupid. He stared at Lu Zhouxue for a moment, then suddenly smiled softly, opened his arms and hugged Lu Zhouxue back, and said softly: "Axue."

The moment he heard that name, Lu Zhouxue froze. The joy of seeing his old friend again disappeared without a trace. He said bitterly and weakly: "You still miss him and only care about him."

Xiao Yueheng was so drunk that he could no longer recognize Lu Zhouxue in front of him. He gently placed his head on the latter's shoulder and spoke in the same sad and unfulfilled tone. His eyes were unfocused and he seemed to be murmuring unconsciously: "Many people are like you, but they are not you."

"I am like him, right?" Lu Zhouxue said sadly. He didn't want to get any answer from Xiao Yueheng because the answer was obvious. He once resented Xiao Yueheng for treating him well because of that dead person, but when Xiao Yueheng died, he regretted it.

"Ah Xue, what are you talking about?" Xiao Yueheng was completely drunk. He held Lu Zhouxue's face, reached out to touch the latter's red eyes, and spoke softly, "You look so sad, don't be sad, you are not like anyone, you are just you."

Lu Zhouxue looked at Xiao Yueheng's eyes, which showed deep affection even when he was drunk, and he knew clearly that the affection in the other's eyes never came from him. A huge sadness surged in his heart. He suddenly laughed, but it was uglier than crying. Tears rolled down his eyes uncontrollably. What should he do?

Xiao Yueheng didn't know why he suddenly started crying, and hurriedly raised her sleeves to wipe the tears from his face, and said helplessly: "Axue, don't cry, I will protect you."

Lu Zhouxue grabbed Xiao Yueheng's hand that was wiping his tears, but it was even more painful. With wet eyes, he looked at the person he hadn't seen for thousands of years and whose face he was about to forget. He cried and laughed, and choked up, "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter who you think I am, as long as you come back."

"Don't be sad." Xiao Yueheng suddenly held his face, lowered her head and gently touched his lips, and said sadly and bitterly, "Axue, it would be great if you were real. I miss you so much."

Lu Zhouxue remembered this sentence too clearly. Ever since the collapse of Zhaoyang Palace, Xiao Yueheng always got drunk. He didn't make a scene when he was drunk, but just muttered to himself. He often regarded Lu Zhouxue as the dead person, and then looked at him with nostalgia and said, "I miss you so much."

But even though Xiao Yueheng was drunk, he could not forget the fact that the man was dead. Even though he could not recognize Lu Zhouxue, he still knew that the old friend he saw before him was a self-deceiving fantasy.

At that time, Lu Zhouxue had resented it. He hated Xiao Yueheng for being sober and confused, treating him as someone else, but he would never become that person. But at this moment, Lu Zhouxue completely understood how Xiao Yueheng felt when he said this to him.

"I miss you too." Lu Zhouxue buried his face in Xiao Yueheng's chest, listening to his heartbeat. His tears unknowingly wet his clothes again. How great it would be if the Xiao Yueheng in front of him was real.

Lu Zhouxue thought in despair that he hadn't seen Xiao Yueheng for ten thousand years, so long that the osmanthus trees in his Yuluan Palace had died one after another, and the sun rose and the moon set year after year. He even occasionally doubted whether it was his delusion, and whether there had never been Xiao Yueheng in Mount Buzhou?

The sound of soft breathing came to his ears. He didn't know when Xiao Yueheng fell asleep. With his eyes closed, he looked gentle and peaceful, a look that Lu Zhouxue had never seen even in his dreams. He just knelt there, letting Xiao Yueheng lean on him, not caring about anything. In the dreamland, the moon rose and set, and a day passed just like that.

Xiao Yueheng woke up from a hangover, and when he opened his eyes he saw Lu Zhouxue who had been kneeling for a whole day and night. He rubbed his forehead and got up from Lu Zhouxue, yawning softly, looking gentle and dignified again. He said, "Brother Sui Miao, I was drunk again. I didn't say anything I shouldn't have said, did I?"

Lu Zhouxue had infinite love and tolerance for him, so she naturally shook her head, then looked at him greedily and longingly in silence.

"That's good." Xiao Yueheng nodded. He covered his head which was a little dizzy from the hangover and staggered to his feet. He accidentally kicked the wine jar on the ground and stumbled. He bent down stupidly to pick up the wine jar and smiled at Lu Zhouxue embarrassedly, "Forgive me, Brother Sui Miao."

Lu Zhouxue wanted to say "It's okay" and then stood up to help Xiao Yueheng, but suddenly, a force pulled him out of his body. He became his own spectator and could only stand by and watch helplessly as everything developed as he remembered.

In the past, he stopped Xiao Yueheng at this moment and asked hysterically: "Xiao Yueheng, you think I am someone else, right?"

He saw the back of the Moon Goddess freeze, then turned around and said helplessly and tolerantly: "I really did say something I shouldn't have said, right?"

"But it's the truth, do you admit it?" At that time, Lu Zhouxue also stood up from the ground, sad and upset, showing such emotions, but he didn't notice that Xiao Yueheng was very tired at this time. He just said to himself, "I never want to force you, but I don't value the tenderness you originally left for others."

"Wait a minute." Xiao Yueheng caught up with him and grabbed his hand, asking doubtfully, "Do you think I treat you like this because of Ah Xue?"

"Isn't it?" Lu Zhouxue turned his head away stubbornly. He didn't dare to deceive himself any more, let alone look into Xiao Yueheng's eyes. He was afraid of being drowned by the deep love in her eyes and no longer having the courage to leave. "You got drunk and called his name in front of me. How can I deceive myself?"

"Sorry." Xiao Yueheng was stunned and the strength in his hand loosened. Lu Zhouxue shook off his hand and looked at him with an unrelieved look. He finally gritted his teeth and turned away. Xiao Yueheng stood there looking at his back in confusion, feeling a little pitiful.

Lu Zhouxue, who was watching the passing by, could not help but squat down and cover his face. He thought in agony, even if Xiao Yueheng treated him as someone else, so what? It is better to not be able to get him/her than to never see him/her again. That means never seeing him/her again in this life or the next, and never seeing him/her again even if I go all over the world.

After that day, Lu Zhouxue hid in Yuluan Palace. He refused to see Xiao Yueheng when she came to visit him several times. In the past, he was so focused on avoiding everything that he knew nothing, but now that he had become a bystander, he could see things more clearly.

He saw that Xiao Yueheng, who was turned away, did not leave immediately. The gentle and dignified god was actually sitting on the ground in front of the palace gate of Yuluan Palace. The fallen snow on the stone steps slowly soaked his clothes, spreading a damp dark color. He was completely unaware of it and just sat there lonely.

Lu Zhouxue walked up to him and wanted to hug him, but her fingers went through his body.

Lu Zhouxue was stunned, but in the blink of an eye, the scene in front of him changed again.

Xiao Yueheng's temple collapsed, and the ruins overwhelmed the spring scenery, leaving behind a desolate ruin like a tomb. He was nailed to death on the pillar that climbed Mount Buzhou in the lower world. The chain passed through his collarbone, and the Moon-Slaying Sword pierced his chest. Blood dripped onto the ground, and countless despicable people who tried to steal the divine power lay on the ground licking his blood.

Lu Zhouxue was pinned to the ground by the traitor god, who used his own sword to sever his long-regrown tendons, and whispered a warning in his ear: "At the end of the year, Xiao Yueheng will die today. I advise you not to meddle in other people's business, or else you will be slaughtered too."

"How dare a mere mortal covet the flesh and blood of a god." Lu Zhouxue turned her head and glared at Ke Qin with bloodshot eyes, "You are the emperor, so you indulge your subjects, indulge them to torture and kill him, and eat his flesh and blood, but the lips and teeth are interdependent, how do you know that after they eat Xiao Yueheng, they will come to eat you too?"

Ke Qin was still holding him down, his eyes indifferent. Xiao Yueheng's shrine had already collapsed. Although he hadn't died yet, it was only a matter of time before he died. Perhaps because Lu Zhouxue was too pitiful, or perhaps because of something else, Ke Qin sighed and said, "You think we don't want to stop it?"

"The way of heaven chooses a master, and the one chosen is Xiao Xueci. The two of them exchanged their fates, and by some strange coincidence, the fate fell on Xiao Yueheng's head. The tripod, which represents power, has become something that can be fought over." Ke Qin said leisurely, "Instead of letting those dirty guys from below take the tripod away, it is better to let Xiao Yueheng disappear with the tripod."

The tripod can be fought over, but the gods who were originally gods are not allowed to grab one or two, so the gods only have two choices: either let Xiao Yueheng die, and the tripod will disappear with him, and it will be difficult for the Heavenly Law to choose a master; or watch the tripod be snatched away by someone who stole the god's corpse and climbed up Mount Buzhou by despicable means, and stepped on the heads of the gods to stir up trouble.

The choice was not difficult to make, so Xiao Yueheng died, just as he had expected. Everyone thought this was the best outcome, except for Lu Zhouxue, who tried his best to save him. Taihuang and Ke Qin were like two mountains blocking him. They looked at him with pity and indifference, thinking he was foolish: "Xiao Yueheng's death will stop those people's thoughts, which is a good thing for you and me."

"Shen Yan, it's only because he is not your true love that you can stand here and let him die with such cold words." Lu Zhouxue's bones were all broken, and his magic power was sealed. He lay on the ground like a dog, watching Xiao Yueheng die. He could do nothing but cry bitterly to the two traitorous gods in front of him who condoned the people from the lower world to kill Xiao Yueheng. "If Xia Yuchuan has such a disaster in the future, don't regret it!"

"That day will never come." Shen Yan said softly. He thought he would not lose the one he loved like Lu Zhouxue or Xiao Yueheng.

"I'm waiting to see your ending." Lu Zhouxue, who was indifferent to everything, had once been so clear about what he loved and hated, and had even cursed viciously, losing all his godly character.

What good is God if one loses the one he loves?