The years I was in the human world

In the clear moonlight, a young man with picturesque features was wearing a long green robe, and his handsome face seemed to be able to soften the four seasons. This man suddenly appeared. Xiao Fengzhuo was very sure of his previous judgment that before Lu Zhouxue woke up, the entire Moon Palace was indeed empty. He looked at Lu Zhouxue, who was curled up on the recliner and slowly woke up, and finally realized that the recollection at this time was based on the latter's memory.

As soon as Xiao Fengzhuo saw the face of the young man in blue, he suddenly understood all that Lu Zhouxue had experienced before. To be honest, this man was indeed born with a very good appearance, three parts of elegance, seven parts of grace, and a compassionate and tolerant look, as if he could accommodate all the pain. He was better than all the handsome men and beautiful women Xiao Fengzhuo had ever seen, and his face was unforgettable. No wonder Lu Zhouxue couldn't stop thinking about him.

As soon as Lu Zhouxue saw that person, he forgot everything, even Xiao Fengzhuo. He just sat there, looking at the person standing a few steps away with sadness and nostalgia. He had lost him for too long, so long that he could completely distinguish between illusion and reality, and no longer had unrealistic expectations.

But even though he knew it was an illusion, he was willing to sink into it. Lu Zhouxue stood up as if waking up from a dream, and ran towards the person he had been thinking about day and night like a young boy. He ran so fast that his clothes tripped his legs, and he stumbled and fell into the other person's arms.

"Xiao Ling." Lu Zhouxue called out in a hoarse voice. He could no longer see anyone except Xiao Yueheng in front of him. The people in the realm of retrospection also could not see anyone else except him, because it was born out of his obsession.

Seeing that Lu Zhouxue did not fall to the ground, Xiao Fengzhuo retracted his leg and simply folded his arms and leaned against Dangui, waiting for Lu Zhouxue to wake up from the state of recollection. He could see that Lu Zhouxue loved the young man in blue to the extreme, so he did not make a sound to disturb her. It didn't mean to ask for it too much. Even if it was fake, it was good to have a thought.

"Brother Sui Miao, be careful." Xiao Yueheng hugged Lu Zhouxue tightly. He hooked his arm and picked him up, saying with a smile, "Brother, you ran so fast, I am flattered."

"Xiao Ling, I miss you so much." Lu Zhouxue gave up all his reserve and dignity. The principles and rules that he had to maintain in the past were not worth mentioning in front of this person he wanted but could not get. He hooked his arms around Xiao Yueheng's neck and whispered sadly in the latter's ear, "I haven't seen you for a long time."

"Brother Sui Miao, you are drunk." Listening to his nonsense, Xiao Yueheng smiled and shook his head. He put him down and wiped away Lu Zhouxue's tears with his fingertips. "We just met, it hasn't been that long, why are you crying like this? If you don't know, you might think I am bullying you."

"Xiao Ling!" Lu Zhouxue grabbed Xiao Yueheng's hand and looked up at the man who was about to turn around and leave. Her face was pleading and painful, as if the two of them were going to die in the next moment. "Xiao Ling, stay here and stay with me for a while."

"Okay, I won't leave." Xiao Yueheng saw that he was really sad, sighed softly, and sat down beside him. Lu Zhouxue was on a recliner, and Xiao Yueheng sat down like this, which made him a little shorter. He tilted his head and just leaned on his legs. "Brother Sui Miao, what are you sad about?"

Lu Zhouxue was silent. It was always more painful to sink in a sober state than to be intoxicated in a chaotic state, because he knew every moment that everything was just a dream. After the drama ended, he still could not leave even a shadow.

Lu Zhouxue remained silent. Xiao Yueheng looked up at the bright moon in the sky. His expression was suddenly dazed for a moment, and then the same pain as before appeared on his face: "Brother Sui Miao, do you think Xue will come back for the Mid-Autumn Festival this year?"

Lu Zhouxue met Xiao Yueheng's silent gaze, his lips trembling but unable to speak. How could he say that Xiao Xueci did return on a full moon many years later, but the person he had been waiting for ended up being someone else's?

"He won't come today either." The two people who were equally eager to get what they wanted just leaned against each other and looked at each other in silence until the bright moon climbed up to the middle of the sky. Xiao Yueheng was finally disappointed. He smiled self-deprecatingly, stretched out his hand to grab the remaining half jar of osmanthus wine and drank it headfirst. He drank half a jar of strong liquor like drinking water. Xiao Fengzhuo, who was watching the show nearby, suddenly had a bad premonition.

Xiao Yueheng was used to drinking to drown his sorrows. Half a jar of strong liquor was no longer enough to make him forget what he was thinking. He threw down the empty jar of liquor, looked around with a slightly confused look, and gave a bitter smile to Lu Zhouxue who was looking at him with worry and pity on her face: "Brother Sui Miao, there is no more wine."

The night with the bright moon hanging high in the sky is still so long, how is he going to get through it? Lu Zhouxue looked at Xiao Yueheng in silence. He didn't like him drinking, never liked it. Once Xiao Yueheng drank, he didn't know anything, didn't remember anything, and would think of him as Xiao Xueci in a fiery red dress.

But if he didn't drink, Xiao Yueheng would toss and turn and couldn't fall asleep because of the sins that he couldn't let go of. Lu Zhouxue loved him, and even if it was an illusion, he couldn't bear to see him suffer even a little bit: "How could there be no pain?"

Lu Zhouxue dug out two jars of osmanthus wine from under the roots of the osmanthus tree. Originally, the wine was buried after Xiao Yueheng's death, so it shouldn't be there at this time. However, this was a flashback caused by Lu Zhouxue's obsession. If he wanted it, he would have it.

"Brother Sui Miao, it's so bitter." Xiao Yueheng took a sip of the wine that Lu Zhouxue dug out, and then frowned, but he did not put down the wine jar. Instead, he raised his head and took another big sip, and made a joke, "It's so bitter that it doesn't feel like wine, but more like medicine for treating illness."

"Yeah." Lu Zhouxue responded without saying anything. He raised the jar and clinked it with Xiao Yueheng, then tilted his head back and took a big sip. Isn't it medicine? The pain of lovesickness cannot be cured by medicine, so one has to rely on this wine to relieve the sorrow. Xiao Yueheng was like this, and so was he.

Xiao Yueheng was an alcoholic and he got himself drunk very quickly, but he was very quiet after being drunk and did not make any noise. If no one disturbed him, he would sleep alone until he sobered up, get up, change his clothes, and then continue to get drunk.

Xiao Yueheng soon fell asleep with his head propped up on the stone table, but Lu Zhouxue was still sober, with no sign of being drunk. Xiao Yueheng had been dead for ten thousand years, and Lu Zhouxue had rarely seen him in her dreams. It was rare for her to see him so vividly, and Lu Zhouxue was reluctant to get drunk.

"Xiao Ling?" Lu Zhouxue held the jar of wine in his hand and carefully looked at Xiao Yueheng's expression while testing him softly. The latter only responded to him with shallow breathing sounds. He was indeed asleep. Lu Zhouxue gently placed the jar of wine at his feet and knelt down in front of Xiao Yueheng.

He leaned on Xiao Yueheng's knees, but didn't dare to push hard, for fear of waking up the sleeping person. See, he was such a coward, loving so deeply, but he didn't even have the courage to speak to the illusion. Even if he was brave enough with the help of alcohol, he only dared to steal a kiss on the corner of Xiao Yueheng's lips. Lu Zhouxue looked at Xiao Yueheng's closed eyes carefully and fearfully, for fear that he would suddenly wake up.

But both he and Xiao Fengzhuo, who was watching with his arms folded, knew very well that Xiao Yueheng would not wake up. Even if Lu Zhouxue pried open his teeth and entangled his lips and tongue with him, he would not wake up, because Lu Zhouxue did not want to wake up.

In the state of retrospection, Lu Zhouxue finally kissed the person he had been thinking about day and night, but he did not feel satisfied at all after his wish was fulfilled. Instead, his desolate heart became more and more empty and lonely, and would never be filled.

Lu Zhouxue suddenly sat down on the ground as if deflated, staring blankly at the person sleeping beside the stone table, then he grabbed the empty wine jar at hand and smashed it at the person like a madman, venting his anger. He hated Xiao Yueheng for knowing nothing, hated himself for being timid, and hated the unpredictability of the world, which made him unable to obtain what he wanted and let go even if he was a god, leaving him with a life of misery and desolation.

The state of retrospection did not last long. As soon as Lu Zhouxue's wine jar smashed over, Xiao Yueheng's figure shattered into pieces, like broken starlight. Then the entire Fuyue Palace faded away. This drama from the past finally came to an end.

Lu Zhouxue suddenly covered his face and laughed. His laughter was hoarse but sounded like a cry of pain. His increasingly choked breathing turned into a cry. He couldn't bear it anymore. He could endure the loneliness in Yuluan Palace for a thousand or ten thousand years, but he burst into tears when he gradually became a mortal and saw the phantom of his old friend again. His world was desolate and monotonous. Xiao Yueheng almost became the whole color of his long life. How could he not go crazy?

"Mianmian." Xiao Fengzhuo squatted down beside Lu Zhouxue, put his arm around his shoulders and patted him comfortingly.

Lu Zhouxue looked up with tears in her eyes. When she saw it was Xiao Fengzhuo, her eyelashes trembled and the tears in her eyes rolled down and hit Xiao Fengzhuo's hand that was holding Lu Zhouxue's arm.

"A Zhuo." Lu Zhouxue didn't say anything, but just shouted this sentence in a somewhat collapsed manner, then lowered her head and buried her head in Xiao Fengzhuo's arms and sobbed.

Xiao Fengzhuo did not ask Lu Zhouxue who the young man in green was, nor did he ask why he lost his composure. He just held him in his arms, patted Lu Zhouxue's back, and said softly, "Yes, I'm here."

Before the next moment of retrospection, the old capital briefly returned to its original desolate state, with a waning moon hanging miserably in the sky, like the side of a scimitar.

Lu Zhouxue and Xiao Fengzhuo sat side by side on the roof, their shadows blending in the dim moonlight, showing a unique kind of tranquility and serenity in the night of the waning moon.

"In fact, I've always been afraid of dreaming about him, even though I miss him very much." Lu Zhouxue fiddled with the tiles at her feet and said self-deprecatingly, "It's contradictory, but why would I want to be like this? Ah Zhuo, the most painful thing is never the loss of the one you love, but that every reunion is just a dream. The moment you wake up, you feel so painful that you wish you were dead."

"His obsession is his brother, who died because of him, so he is trapped in guilt every day and can't extricate himself, and drowns his sorrows in alcohol." Lu Zhouxue said whatever he thought of, without any rules, but fortunately Xiao Fengzhuo understood him and was quiet, never interrupting him. "Sometimes when he is drunk, he will still treat me as his brother. At this time, he will act like a spoiled child, but I don't like him like this, not at all, because it makes both him and me seem pathetic, with the same unfulfilled desires."

"Azhuo, I can hardly remember what he looked like when he was sober." Lu Zhouxue hugged his head in annoyance. He had described Xiao Yueheng too beautifully in his memory. He was gentle even when drunk. He could hardly remember what Xiao Yueheng really looked like when he was sober. "He always got drunk, as if he could forget the pain. But Azhuo, we can't forget it. None of us can forget it."

"Do you love him?" Xiao Fengzhuo asked softly. He actually didn't quite understand Lu Zhouxue's strong emotions. He had raised Qi Nankuo and Ke Rou, and they both had different feelings for him, but none of them were as compromising and passionate as Lu Zhouxue.

Qi Nankuo's obsession was Xiao Fengzhuo, so he cut open his demon pill and pulled him down to perish together; Lu Zhouxue was different, his love was humble but pure, even if he spent his whole life chasing after an unattainable phantom, he was not willing to deliberately trip up Xiao Yueheng.

"Of course I love him. I love him to the bone." The fact that he dared not admit in front of the real owner was said so easily. Lu Zhouxue felt much more relaxed. He simply told Xiao Fengzhuo everything that he should and should not say.

"Why don't you tell him?" Xiao Fengzhuo has always been a man of his own accord. After losing his demon pill, he has become more particular about enjoying life while he can. So he doesn't understand why Lu Zhouxue is trying so hard to suppress her surging love.

"At first, I didn't dare, and I was unwilling to do it." Lu Zhouxue smiled bitterly. He looked very good when he smiled, but now it only made people feel distressed. "Later, there was no chance."

"Why?" Xiao Fengzhuo was puzzled.

"He's dead, gone to ashes." Lu Zhouxue said calmly. He stretched out his hand to block the waning moon in the sky, looked up at the moonlight streaming through his fingers, and his eyes were sparkling, like tears, but also like moonlight. "He didn't even leave me a thought."

"Dead?" Xiao Fengzhuo's expression became a little strange in an instant. He clearly... Xiao Fengzhuo's pupils suddenly widened as he realized something terrible.

Lu Zhouxue lazily leaned on Xiao Fengzhuo's shoulder, and the latter subconsciously reached out and pulled him into his arms. Lu Zhouxue found a comfortable position on Xiao Fengzhuo's chest, leaned against him, closed his eyes, and said slowly: "Azhuo, there are gods in the Nine Heavens Palace."

Lu Zhouxue: "The gods live on Mount Buzhou and govern all living beings equally and fairly. Many years ago, mortals were able to ascend to the realm of the gods through the sacred mountain within the borders of Wuxiang State."

"Then why didn't it happen later?" Xiao Fengzhuo's tone was as calm as if one person was telling a story and another was listening.

"Because mortals have abandoned the gods, the gods have also abandoned them." Lu Zhouxue said with his eyes closed, "The Wuxiang people brought weapons, poisons, and plagues from the sacred mountain to the divine realm. In order to fight for the tripod of divine power, they nailed the Moon God to the pillar of heaven, licked his blood, devoured his flesh, and attempted to become gods in the flesh."