Why not hang yourself on the southeast tree

The alarm clock rang at 5:30, and the snoring in the master bedroom stopped abruptly.

The man mumbled incoherently, turned over and fell asleep again.

【Prosperous! 】

The hostess Liu Fang put the prepared milk on the table and a pack of handkerchiefs.

The child stays in school for ten hours, and insists on defecating at home every morning and evening, saying that time is too tight at school and there is no paper, and he is embarrassed to borrow from classmates.

No, don’t you know how to bring your own?!

After working for a long time, Liu Fang saw that the bathroom light was still on and frowned.

[Mao Jiawen, hurry up, or you will miss the first bus! ]

【Prosperous! 】

[Developer, stop shouting, the neighbor downstairs just had a baby! If you wake her up, she will cry for a long time. ]

My name is Developer and I am a black dog.

A three and a half month old Labrador, pure black, able to eat, poop, love to jump around, like to join in the fun, and a pure blooded Labrador.

Liu Fang always complains about my noise and scolds me eight hundred times a day.

Doesn't my name sound noble?

But I'm completely black, wouldn't it be more appropriate to call me a coal ball? !

This name was given by my father. He was the guy who was still snoring in bed and got scolded by Liu Fang.

However, considering that the developer is really a black-hearted and wicked person, this name has been used ever since.

In the middle of the night, when you turn off the lights, you can only see a pair of shaking eye whites, which won't scare you to death...

The little master Mao Jiawen is a handsome boy in the sixth grade. He gets up earlier than the chickens and goes to bed later than me.

For the entire day, none of the three of them belonged to me.

[Mao Dajie, hurry up and get up. The shop will be busy soon. The fellow you hired is useless and lazy. He has been here for half a month and can't even kill a fish properly...]

Mao Dajie was disturbed from his sweet dream and covered his head with the quilt in annoyance.

Mao Dajie is my father’s full name, and the neighbors in the vegetable market like to call him “No Problem”.

His image when outside has always been very cheerful and generous. Whenever someone asks him for help, he always says it's no problem and happily goes to help.

When I get home, I am just a worm, a lazy bug.

For example, now, I will never crawl out of bed without a meal of fried bamboo shoots with pork.

I quietly followed Liu Fang into the house and saw the big guy in red shorts being beaten so hard that he screamed and jumped off the bed.

Hahaha, I really want to be prosperous, but I’m also afraid of getting beaten. It’s so hard to be a dog…

[My son doesn't stay in bed all the time, but you are shameless and want to sleep until noon...]

Liu Fang was worried about this month's mortgage and got a headache when she saw the father and son.

[Mom, it's time to pay the class fee. The teacher said that the class needs to order drinking water from a different store. Each bucket is five dollars more expensive than before.]

After Mao Jiawen finished speaking, he drank the milk in big gulps. When he looked up, there was a circle of white beard on his lips.

[Okay, just tell me how much you want to pay, don't ask me to calculate, I'm pregnant with your sister, my brain is not working well! ]

Mao Jiawen muttered, [How do you know it's a sister? What if it's a brother?! ]

[Impossible, absolutely impossible! I consulted a master and found out that the second child is a girl!]

Liu Fang didn't react much, but Mao Dajie was furious and insisted that the fetus in his wife's belly, which was as big as a grapefruit, was a girl.

[I told you to turn off your phone but you didn't, you are so stupid~]

Don’t ask, this is Mao Dajie’s cell phone ringtone. The volume is extremely loud. Every time it rings, it sounds particularly weird and everyone looks at it sideways.

[I told you to turn off your phone but you didn't, you are so stupid~]

Liu Fang slapped him on the head, "Shut up, answer it!"

Liu Fang took out fifty yuan in cash, stuffed it directly into her son's hand, and pushed him out the door.

[I'll buy you some snacks. Let's go. It's already 6:05!!!]

Now that her son is older, she is less worried. He takes the bus to and from school by himself. If it were a daughter, she would definitely worry about her safety all the time.

Raising a child for ninety-nine means worrying for a hundred years.

It is so hard for a girl to grow up. After studying hard, she has to give birth to children and take care of the house. If she encounters an unreasonable mother-in-law, she has to endure it and not fight.

Thinking of this, Liu Fang suddenly no longer wanted the baby in her belly to be a girl.

[What? How did a rat get into the pool? Hurry up and get rid of the rat. Are you waiting for me? The fish will be eaten up, so what's the point of selling it...]

Mao Dajie frowned, brushed his teeth while talking on the phone, and toothpaste foam sprayed all over the wall.

Some dirty words are omitted here.

After hanging up the phone, he felt like he was on fire and wiped his face casually with a towel.

[Wife, you should stay at home today and don’t have to go to the store. The weather forecast says that it will rain heavily at noon.]

Without waiting for Liu Fang to say anything, he opened the door and left.

The sound of hurried and dull footsteps came from near and went far away on the stairs, and soon the sound returned to silence.

[Developer, tell me, should I fire that fellow? Anyone else would be more capable than him...]

【Prosperous! 】

open.

Delay things.

You have to scold me when you are in a bad mood.

The reason for hiring someone is that Liu Fang's pregnancy was unstable in the early stages.

Half a month ago, she was squatting on the ground killing a fish. The fish was still jumping on the chopping board. She fell down with the knife in her hand, and Mao Dajie was scared to death.

After being sent to the hospital for a check-up, it turned out that she was pregnant with her second child. The doctor said with a serious face that the pregnant woman's HCG level was low and she had to be hospitalized to protect the fetus.

Once the backbone goes on strike, there will be chaos both at home and outside.

Mao Dajie couldn't handle the job by himself, so an acquaintance kindly introduced the fellow villager to him.

My goodness, my fellow villager is not good at anything. He is too stupid and unwilling to learn.

It's been half a month, and I haven't been able to help at all. I'm just causing more trouble.

This is the first time that a mouse has entered the fish pond.

It's not easy to kick him out directly because of the relationship, ugh...

As the number of cars was restricted, Mao Dajie scanned a shared electric car at the entrance of the community.

I stepped on the accelerator all the way and drove towards the vegetable market at the maximum speed of 20 mph.

Seen from behind, it looks like a big white bear riding a unicycle.

The helmet is also small, hanging crookedly on the head. It bounces up when there is a bump, so it can only serve as a decoration.

Halfway through the journey, hey, guess what -

The electric car showed that the battery was low and the nearest return point was still two kilometers away!!!

He had no choice but to scrape the soles of his shoes until they were almost sparking.

I finally got to the store and saw someone peeking at the door.

【What's wrong? 】

Mao Dajie recognized one of them as the owner of a nearby grain and oil store, and his wife often came to buy fish from home.

[Look, the guy you hired fell into the fish pond, and the whole market was shocked by his screams. Two strong guys went down and couldn't pull him up.]

Mao Dajie: ...

[I remember that my fish pond was only one meter deep...]

The boss patted him on the shoulder and said nothing.

The mice squeaked arrogantly in the water, and the villagers chased them in the water, cursing.

Every step you take, you fall.

Every step you take, you fall.

The two strong guys stood in the water with their arms crossed, watching the fun.

The fish in the pond were in trouble today. They were stepped on and bitten, and more than ten of them turned white.

Mao Dajie's eyes went dark.