He said he doesn't love me

Dear A'ran, I'm home.

My own home, my brother's home, and in the future, will also be your home.

As the sky was filled with colorful clouds, Sun Yichu was called up. He turned over and sat up in a daze, but before he could move, his left hand was pulled into someone's palm.

"Slow down, what if the wound splits?"

He blinked and realized that it was Tang Yihe who spoke.

"elder brother……"

"Hmm?" Tang Yihe glanced at him, raised her hand to play with his hair, and curved her eyebrows: "Did you sleep well?"

"Comfortable." Sun Yichu pursed his lips and smiled. He was not disturbed by nightmares, nor was he trapped in a corner of the south wall. He just fell asleep simply, like a child, with an empty mind and exceptionally peaceful.

"That's good." Tang Yihe let go of his hand and said worriedly, "Baby, promise me that you won't hurt yourself again, okay? Those things are in the past. We still have a better future, right?"

past……

Is it okay?

Can you really get over those scars that are branded on your body and the pain that is engraved into your bones and blood?

Sun Yichu retracted his arm, raised his eyes slightly and looked at him for a long time, then slowly said: "Brother..."

"I'm here."

"...So...you also think that I swallowed that thing...myself, right?" Sun Yichu looked at him straight, unwilling to miss any of his emotional fluctuations. He wanted to see what this brother who was praised to the sky by A Bao really thought of him.

Tang Yihe was stunned and subconsciously wanted to say, "Isn't it?"

But Sun Yichu’s expression of hurt didn’t seem fake. Maybe, it really wasn’t him?

Sun Yichu waited for a long time, but he didn't speak. The expectation in his eyes slowly disappeared, and finally turned into a stagnant pool.

Should have known better.

Sun Ran.

Everyone thinks this way, everyone thinks this way. After all, this isn't the first time you've done this, is it?!

So, so I deserve this?!

How can their light words of "it's over" offset the pain I've felt for so many years? ! Is it because I don't deserve it? !

I……

"I don't think so."

he……

what did he say?

Sun Yichu was a little stunned. He didn't know what expression to make for a moment and could only cry blankly.

Just seven words, but I waited for so many years...

He had tried to explain it before. He wanted to explain that those wounds were not caused by him, not because of a bad temper or a fight with others.

He wanted to explain, wanted to tell his brother that he was bullied, beaten, pinched by the teacher... But they always had a preconceived idea, just because Ryan said he often did this...

They believed it.

Later, he was no longer willing to explain because he knew that no one would believe him.

But now, this person appeared.

"Brother doesn't think so. We are flesh and blood, so we will definitely feel pain." Tang Yihe raised her hand to wipe away the tears on his face, feeling a little distressed. "They are afraid that you can't speak, so they want to destroy you, right?"

yes……

It has always been like this...

But why, why did you appear only now...

"Brother... I'm in so much pain, they beat me, scolded me, and said that if I didn't listen to them, they would make brother no longer want me..." Sun Yichu's eyes were red, and he confided the secrets that had been hidden for many years. But this time, what was waiting for him was no longer scolding and beating, no longer coercion and intimidation.

He was held in someone's arms, his ears were comforted by soft voices, his hands were held tightly. At this moment, all the pain and unbearable things were blocked out by this warm embrace and could no longer hurt him in the slightest.

At six o'clock in the afternoon, Sun Yichu followed Tang Yihe into the study.

Qian Chenyan had been waiting for a long time. When he saw them coming in, he started to prepare the props for today. Before he had finished unpacking his things, he saw the timid Sun Yichu sitting alone in front of him, while Tang Yihe was still standing by the window in the distance.

"Let's just get started. No need to go through all this." Sun Yichu looked coldly at the toys and candies in his bag. He was a little curious whether this psychologist was really useful.

Why is he different from the psychologist I know?

Qian Chenyan was stunned, and then he suddenly remembered that Tang Yihe had said that the person in front of him was not Sun Yichu, but Sun Ran. He swallowed and hurriedly took two steps back.

"...Is there something wrong with you?" Sun Yichu looked at him strangely, "Aren't you a doctor? What are you afraid of me doing?"

"Ah... sorry, sorry, I was too nervous." Qian Chenyan touched the tip of his nose awkwardly and coughed twice to cover up his mistake. "Then go get your comforter. We are about to start."

What comfort item?

Abao still has this thing?

Sun Yichu turned his head to look at Tang Yihe in confusion, and saw that he had already brought a blanket with ease. He lowered his eyes and looked at the blanket stuffed into his arms, a little dazed. When the doctor was still serious, he once mentioned that he should get a comfort object, but before he decided on his comfort object, the doctor changed...

The blanket in my hand was soft and smelled sweet. The four stars were very beautiful, and there were a few words embroidered in the center of the stars: peace and joy.

"Brother, can you accompany you?" Tang Yihe looked up at Qian Chenyan and naturally knew what he was afraid of.

This guy, when he gets ruthless, even dares to stab Tang Yihe! It's normal for him to be afraid, right? !

Sun Yichu frowned, "Isn't it true that family members cannot accompany psychological intervention?"

He looked at Tang Yihe, then at Qian Chenyan, and instantly understood something. He was silent for a long time and said, "...Don't treat me as a lunatic."

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I'm afraid that you'll be scared facing him alone, so I want to stay with you. If you want me to stay, that's fine, it's okay." Tang Yihe hurriedly explained, but he didn't expect his nervousness to make Sun Yichu more certain of what the two were afraid of.

I'm just afraid of hurting the doctor.

"No need. If you're so worried, I can take off all my clothes and let you see if I have any dangerous goods on me." As he said this, he was about to raise his hand to unbutton his shirt. Tang Yihe's pupils shrank and he quickly said that this was not what he meant.

The more anxious he was, the more annoyed Sun Yichu became. Finally, he could no longer bear it and yelled at Tang Yihe: "If you don't want to, get out!!!"

"...Okay, okay, let's go. I'll wait for you outside. Tell the doctor if you feel uncomfortable. It's okay to stop. Qian Chenyan, take your time. Don't be too aggressive all of a sudden." Tang Yihe was stunned by the yelling and immediately turned around and left the study.

The room suddenly fell silent. Qian Chenyan licked his lips, turned on the computer and sat down. "Then shall we... start?"

"Yeah." Sun Yichu looked at his actions coldly, and the corners of his mouth twitched suddenly: "Are you here to cheat me out of money?"

Qian Chenyan blinked and asked in confusion: "What are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me that today's project is to play hamster ball." Sun Yichu raised his chin towards the computer, and Qian Chenyan realized that his game interface was not closed. He immediately closed the game, called up Sun Yichu's previous data, and said, "Then let's start."

Sun Yichu nodded and put the blanket aside. He was not Abao, he did not need any comfort objects, and besides...

He was not so easily appeased.

"I heard from your brother that you've seen a psychologist before, right?" Qian Chenyan turned on the recording on his phone so that he could go back and correct his information. "Is there any effect?"

Sun Yichu shook his head, then frowned and nodded, "Yes, at the beginning, but then the effect became worse and worse, so I rarely went there."

"Then have you felt better after taking the medicine during the time you came back?" Qian Chenyan propped up his chin and looked at him, then tilted his head and looked around, "This is your brother's study, it's very soundproof."

Sun Yichu was confused and didn't understand what he meant.

Qian Chenyan raised his eyebrows and said, "So, only I can hear what you say. You can speak boldly and I won't tell him."

Sun Yichu took a deep breath and said slowly: "I'm not sure if it can be considered as improvement. I have felt this feeling before."

"Is there any significant difference in eating and sleeping? Compared to before." Qian Chenyan put his hands on the keyboard. He tapped on the keyboard for a while after he said a word.

"I don't eat much, and I sleep better than before. But I still can't fall asleep when I wake up in the middle of the night. Can I increase the dosage?" Sun Yichu asked sincerely, "When I was like this before, the doctor told me to increase the dosage, saying that it would be better."

Qian Chenyan frowned and shook his head. "I don't recommend you to increase the dosage, because the dosage has a course of treatment, and it's not what you want. Tang Yihe always accompanies you when you sleep, right?"

Sun Yichu nodded and said, "I tried to sleep alone, but I couldn't fall asleep. It would be better if my brother accompanies me."

"Okay, next question." Qian Chenyan scribbled on the paper and asked, "Why don't you like small animals? Can you tell me?"

why?

Sun Yichu blinked. After so many years, the lively Border Collie appeared in his mind again. He had never forgotten the joy of it running towards him and spinning around with the Frisbee in its mouth.

"...Mr. Qian, are you sure...you won't tell him what I said?" Sun Yichu was worried. If his past was exposed to the world, how would Tang Yihe look at him? How would Li Cheng look at him? How would Tang Lele and others look at him...

"That's natural." Qian Chenyan said seriously, "I'm a doctor, and my first rule is to keep secrets between me and my patients."

In this way, Sun Yichu felt relieved.

"I used to like it. I had a puppy, a beautiful blue meteorite Border Collie named Xiaoqi. It was a pet that Su Ran and I raised together." Sun Yichu mentioned this with a smile on his face. "It always liked to run around with our shoes in its mouth. When we fed it water, it would always run to the garden and hide..."

Qian Chenyan patiently listened to him talking about the interesting things in the past, but unexpectedly, the next second, Sun Yichu's tone changed, the joy in his eyes disappeared, and was once again covered by sadness and pain.

"After Su Ran died, Xiao Qi was locked in a cage, trapped in a place I don't know. I want to see it, but I need to exchange it for good grades and being well behaved, Mr. Qian, but I don't understand, how well behaved do I have to be to be considered well behaved?" Sun Yichu drooped his eyelids in disappointment, and continued: "I also forgot when it was, I only remember that it rained heavily that day, and I was late for home because of going to the cemetery. They blamed me, saying that I was not good, and that their brother didn't like me because of this..."

"I was still young at the time and didn't understand the implicit belittlement in their words. I just felt sad. They became more and more excited, and I don't know what they said in the end. I was so angry that I drew my knife to resist them for the first time..." Sun Yichu clenched his fists tightly, and the corners of his mouth trembled uncontrollably. "I knew they didn't dare to touch me. But I didn't expect that they would vent their resentment and anger towards me on Xiaoqi. They killed it, made it into dumplings, and watched me eat it! I... I..."

"After I finished eating, they pinched his neck and took me to see Xiao Qi, who was covered in blood with only a pair of eyes left. Then they told me... this is the result of resistance..."

"From that day on, I no longer dared to resist. But they became even more aggressive. They took advantage of the fact that my brothers didn't come back and pretended to obey them, deducted my pocket money, and forced me to pick up trash. If I complained, they would dig up A'ran's grave, humiliate it, and then seal it back... I was really going crazy..."