He said he doesn't love me

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this now..."

Sun Ran left his embrace and whispered to him, "I'm very happy that you can say it. At least... I'm not the only one who is moved. It's just... I can't give you any answers now. I can't predict the future..."

Li Cheng listened to him in a daze.

"What will happen in the future, where we will be, who we will fall in love with, none of us can predict. Li Cheng, I admit that I want you to stay with me, but you know, I'm different from you, I..." Sun Ran raised his hand and pointed at his chest, tears had already covered his cheeks without him knowing. He found it funny and looked up, and saw that Li Cheng was the same.

That wouldn't be funny.

"Here... there is always a voice, telling me over and over again that I shouldn't be alive, shouldn't be alive... I want to get rid of that voice, but I am always influenced and controlled by it... Can you understand the feeling of not being able to control myself?"

Li Cheng shook his head, "I..."

"No one understands. I'm a lunatic, indeed. Tell me... should I really go to the doctor, like an animal being watched, peeling open my wounds over and over again, and telling others about them again and again?!"

Li Cheng didn't understand, and there was no way to help him solve the problem.

Sun Ran himself forgot how he fell asleep.

But the light in the room had never been turned off, still trying to answer his questions and lead him out of the cage that belonged to him alone.

The next day, when Sun Ran woke up, it was almost noon.

He was just about to sit up when he glanced sideways and saw Li Cheng lying next to him.

The man had dark circles under his eyes and some stubble around his mouth, and he looked extremely haggard.

Did he really sleep on the floor all night?

Sun Ran admired this person a little. He could just not come up and could even sleep on the floor.

"Sun Ran...Sun Ran..."

Sun Ran looked at him when he heard that. If Li Cheng hadn't had his eyes closed at this moment and didn't look like he was pretending to be asleep, he would have thought that he was pretending.

But he was sleeping soundly, just mumbling his own name.

"Li Cheng...how can I leave when you're like this..." Sun Ran couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. He had originally thought that after two years, he would find a time to quietly leave and go to a place where no one could find him. Then he could spend some money and take care of his funeral.

But what should Li Cheng do?

I clearly agreed that I would never forgive him even if he apologized, so what happened now?

Sun Ran, he said he likes you, aren’t you very happy?

So do you still want to leave?

Of course I have to go. How can someone like me be worthy of him?

He has a good family background and is a good person. He deserves to be with someone who is gentle and rational, not like me...

My mind is full of people who are seeking death.

No?

Who would like someone who holds such deep resentment?

Who can bear it?

I can't stand it myself, why bother making it difficult for others...

"Dong dong dong..."

There was a sudden knock on the door, and Sun Ran immediately closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. If Li Cheng found out that he was staring at his face in a daze, would he think that he had other thoughts?

That’s not good. If you can’t give me a future, then don’t give me any hope.

"Dong Dong Dong!!"

"Hmm... Who is it? Here I come!" Li Cheng yawned, stood up and was about to open the door, but sat down on the bed again.

"Hiss...my legs are numb..." Li Cheng hammered his sore and numb thighs. Seeing that Sun Ran hadn't woken up yet, he raised his hand and pulled up the quilt for him. After making sure that no skin was exposed, he stood up and went to open the door.

"Oh, it's you. Why did you get up so early?" Li Cheng opened the door and saw Tang Lele and Han Junjiu standing at the door, neatly dressed.

"Ranbao, are you awake? We plan to go for a walk nearby and buy a pair of shoes. My shoes got wet when I drank water last night, so I have to buy new ones." Tang Lele looked down at the shoes that were obviously much bigger and smiled at him.

"He hasn't woken up yet, so go ahead and be careful on the road." Li Cheng turned his head to look at Sun Ran who was still sleeping, and whispered, "Can you please bring me some face wipes? Sun Ran's face is red, maybe it's because the weather is too dry."

"I have some in my bag. I'll get it for you. Wait a moment." Tang Lele heard Sun Ran's face turn red, and suddenly remembered that she seemed to have brought a lot of skin care products today, all of which were newly bought and had not been used yet.

"Okay, thank you."

"What are you thanking me for? He is my good friend. It's no big deal." Tang Lele smiled and walked towards his room.

Han Junjiu saw that he looked like he hadn't woken up yet, and couldn't help but smile, "Are you really sleeping on the floor? If I coax you a little, won't I let you sleep on the bed?"

"No, I'm afraid I might hurt him. By the way..." Li Cheng gently closed the door and pulled Han Junjiu aside. "I want to ask you, do you know any authoritative psychologists?"

Han Junjiu frowned and thought for a while, "Sun Ran?"

Li Cheng nodded helplessly.

"Then I advise you not to take the initiative to find a doctor. His condition cannot be solved by seeing a doctor." Han Junjiu patted his shoulder, "You can go online to consult how to take care of him. When his condition gets better, consider whether to see a doctor."

"If I don't see a doctor... will it work?" Li Cheng took out his phone and showed it to him. "I checked a lot yesterday, but they all said that it would be safer to see a doctor."

"It's safe, but Sun Ran is obviously resisting everyone right now. If you suddenly ask him to contact a doctor, it will be counterproductive." Han Junjiu glanced at his mobile phone, which was full of information he had checked all night, which showed that he really didn't sleep much last night.

"Listen to me. During this time, observe the places or scenes where he resists and try to persuade him to relax. Waiting for him to be willing to see a doctor will be much better than your persuasion."

"Why would he go to the doctor by himself?" Li Cheng didn't understand what he meant. "I'm afraid he'll get mad at me if I mention it."

"I didn't ask you to mention it. You are his husband. Your company and concern are more effective than any doctor. Listen to me, don't mention this to him. Find out the situation first. Don't act rashly. If you push him too far, you will regret it." Han Junjiu looked at him and sighed slightly. "A good lover can help people get out of trouble more easily than a good psychologist."

"...Okay, I got it, thank you." Li Cheng swallowed. He had no experience in taking care of others, let alone Sun Ran. He was afraid that he would accidentally make him cry.

"What are you thanking me for? We are all friends. Go back and get some sleep. We will bring you food when we come back." Han Junjiu stretched out his fist to him, and Li Cheng bumped fists with him. "Okay, thank you for your help."

"Come on, nothing is impossible. As long as he doesn't completely resist you, there is still hope."

"Okay, I see."

When Tang Lele came back with a few bottles and jars, the two of them had already talked about where to go for fun in the next few days.

"Here, these two were applied in the morning, and this one was applied in the evening. They are both new. It will feel better after application." Tang Lele put the things on the table, then followed Han Junjiu out of the hotel.

Li Cheng closed the door again and sat aside to look at the instructions for using the product. After looking for a while, he felt sleepy and he couldn't help but yawn.

Sun Ran hadn't woken up yet, so he walked over and touched him. Fortunately, he didn't have a fever.

"Sun Ran, Sun Ran...can you give me some room?" He lifted Sun Ran's bangs jokingly. The scar there was new and pink, which made him look particularly cute.

But that was the wound he had caused. Li Cheng put his bangs down again and said, "It's covering your eyes a bit. I'll take you to get a haircut some other day."

After he said that, he lifted the quilt and lay down on it. Afraid of crushing Sun Ran, he put a pillow between them.

After turning over and feeling unsafe, Li Cheng sat up and leaned against the head of the bed, so that even if he fell asleep, he would not fall on him.

He covered himself with the quilt again, looked at Sun Ran's quilt again, made sure it was covered properly, then closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Seeing that he had stopped moving, Sun Ran opened his eyes quickly, wanting to see why this person suddenly became motionless.

When I turned my head, I saw Li Cheng half asleep leaning against the bed. Maybe it was because he had not slept the whole night, he had no mind to think about anything else at this moment, and fell asleep as soon as he touched the bed.

"Li Cheng... Li Cheng?" Sun Ran called him softly twice, but seeing that there was no response, he ignored him and simply looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing to do after getting up.

Might as well just lie down and continue sleeping.

He thought so, but when he really fell asleep again, he felt like a pig and couldn't wake up.

When Sun Ran woke up again, it was already past five in the afternoon. Li Cheng was sitting at the table playing checkers with himself. Perhaps he felt it was boring, so he put away all the chess pieces.

"Are you awake? Are you hungry? They brought some porridge back, I'll feed you. After you finish eating, let's go to the movies." Li Cheng smiled at him and waved the movie ticket in his hand. "I don't know what you like to watch, so I chose a comedy."

"Where are they?" Sun Ran propped himself up and sat up. The quilt suddenly slid down to his abdomen. The temperature suddenly dropped and he trembled instantly.

Li Cheng reached out and pulled the blanket beside him to cover him, "The two of them went out again. Lele, didn't you know? They can't sit idle. He bought you a doll pendant, and I hung it on your phone." Li Cheng showed him the phone, which had a furry doll hanging on it.

"So cute, do you have one? It's not another couple's edition, is it?" Sun Ran smiled at him. Li Cheng shook his head, "I don't like this kind, so I asked him to buy me a set of checkers, but it's not fun to play alone."

So that was bought by Lele? No wonder he had never seen Li Cheng pack this into a suitcase.

Sun Ran nodded, "What kind of porridge?"

"Pumpkin millet porridge, good for the stomach." Li Cheng put the movie tickets on the table and set up a small table to make it easier to feed Sun Ran.

Sun Ran obediently let him put paper under him and ate the porridge mouthful by mouthful, with a natural expression that could not be seen.

After he finished eating, Li Cheng cleaned up the table again. "Which clothes do you want to wear?" he asked.

"Whatever, just help me put on a set." Sun Ran yawned, "Why do I feel like I haven't gotten enough sleep... I'm so tired"

Li Cheng had put clothes on him. He was stunned for two seconds after hearing this, then he reacted and said, "Maybe it's because he sat on the plane for too long. It will be fine in two days. Then you change your clothes and I'll go take out the trash."

"it is good."

Sun Ran spent more than ten minutes to finally change his clothes. When he was about to put on his shoes, Li Cheng walked in with a pair of white cotton shoes. "That pair is not comfortable to wear. Wear these. Just step on them."

"Huh? Where did you get those shoes?" Sun Ran listened to him and no longer insisted on wearing shoes that required laces. He put on cotton shoes one by one. They were very soft and warm.

They didn't look cheap, so he tilted his head and asked, "Is there a store nearby that sells these shoes?"

Somehow, he felt very familiar with these handmade cotton shoes.

It seemed as if there was someone who always made such comfortable shoes for him.

"I didn't buy it. I learned to make it myself. Do you like it?" Li Cheng helped him stand up and turned him around twice. Seeing that he didn't look uncomfortable, he silently breathed a sigh of relief.

"I didn't realize you had this skill!" Sun Ran tried to dance twice. It fit his feet very well, not too big or too small, just the right size. "Thank you, I like it very much."

"As long as you like it, I'll make you other styles with many kinds of patterns later. I originally wanted to make a more complicated and beautiful one, but my skills are not good enough. I will learn slowly and make a more beautiful one for you in the future." Li Cheng put on his coat, walked to the table, took a bottle of facial cleanser, and pulled Sun Ran to sit on the edge of the bed.