Star Iron: Maple of Reincarnation

August 8098, 8, star calendar, sunny.

I didn’t have the habit of keeping a diary at first, because I thought that everything in the world was just a passing cloud and smoke, and there was nothing worth remembering. If everything could be forgotten, then what was the point of recording it?

But starting from today, I want to try to record some things. On the one hand, that damn Jing Yuan doesn't let me go to work, and I really have nothing to do. On the other hand... because I want to keep something. If the old me knew about it, I would definitely find it incredible. What I want to keep is the time I spent with Mo Feng.

Although I don't really want to admit it... He has already occupied a large part of my mind. This feeling is very subtle, a feeling I have never experienced before. If I have to find a word to sum it up, it is the fear of gain and loss.

Yes, I was afraid. Although the feeling was very bland because of the Wanshou Wuqing Pill, I was sure after chewing it over and over again that this was what fear felt like. Just like when my master said I would kill him and I wanted to escape fate, at that time, besides anger, I was afraid.

I am afraid that the predetermined fate will come true, and that the final outcome will be a doomed tragedy. But now, I am afraid of losing it. I clearly never had it, so I am such a greedy person.

But fear is fear.

No matter what I did, I could not escape the web of fate. The result of the divination was like a predetermined script, manipulating the trajectory of my life like a machine. If my life was already predetermined, then why should I live this life?

For the great cause of Xianzhou?

In order to kill the god of abundance and prosperity, the ancestor of longevity and plague?

Should I be prepared to give up everything just for this great cause?

I really don't understand.

But I am a human first, and then a Xianzhou person. I also have my own life, I also have my own interests, I... don't want to be a pawn in the Star God's documents. Why should the will of the Xianzhou people be imposed on me, just because I was born in Xianzhou? It seems to be true.

I don't want to be like this, I'm so selfish, but... I hope Emperor Gong Siming will forgive me.

That's why I chose to go against the predetermined fate, and that's why I left Yuque to avoid the so-called death of my master being killed.

但I get rid of my money.

It seems that fate is really unique. No matter what I do, I can't escape the net of fate. If fate also has a star god, it must be the subordinate of joy. How ironic.

And the hunting star god.

He obviously has supreme power, and the evil creatures that invaded the Immortal Boat are like ants in his eyes, so what is the point of following him? People always say that everything depends on human efforts, and every miracle has human traces. I often encourage myself in this way, but I always feel a little inexplicably lonely in my heart.

I can't understand... I really can't understand. My fate star shows that I will sacrifice my life for Luofu in the future. Since my fate is already determined, I choose to exile myself.

Those were not dreams, they were my past, my past that shaped everything about me. I was a complete tragedy.

Then let's follow Lan's meaning. I seem to gradually understand Master's original feelings, how ridiculous he thought I was when I said "there is no fixed pattern in the world".

Since it cannot be changed, and if I am asked to make sacrifices, I will just submit to fate.

Back to the original question: If the divination result shows that I will die tomorrow, should I commit suicide today?

Yes, I would, if that would be good for Xianzhou.

This is my exile to myself, I have become the person I least wanted to be.

I don't like myself like this, but there is no way. I have tried and failed. The result of divination will definitely happen, just as the master said.

We can only seek benefits and avoid harm. Even if you are dissatisfied with the instructions of fate and don't want to do it, you have to do it. Fate cannot be avoided.

Until he showed up.

He was just a young boy, but he did something I could never dream of. He changed his fate. He changed the situation against him just by himself. It's great... If I could do that, why would I live like this?

It turns out that destiny can be changed?

My old thoughts started to waver again. In fact, I was still unwilling to believe my master's point of view. It was Mo Feng who taught me not to dwell on the past. Although he lived two hundred years less than me, he lived more transparently than me.

I obviously hurt him, but he still...

He has changed my fate, and he may not realize how great this is. If fate can be changed, then can I also fight against it?

So what if I fail?

At least, I am not alone in my struggle.

Thank you for letting me know how to live my life.

September 8098, 9 Star Calendar, cloudy and rainy.

I am such a coward.

I was too embarrassed to even say thank you to him in person.

I can only rely on this phone. It's really rude. I know it's wrong, but I don't dare to do it. I don't know what I'm afraid of. I don't know. I have consulted Jingyuan.

His response was that I seemed to be shy.

How is that possible? Even if I have feelings for Mo Feng, how can I be shy? It's not like... Am I really in love with him? Is this what love feels like? It's really rough. Does love make people timid?

I don't know, could it be that the fear of losing is also a feeling of love? What did my mother teach me? Didn't she say that love is a two-way, sweet and sweet thing? Why does this feeling seem a bit bitter now?

If I were the old me, I would immediately reject this absurd and ignorant idea.

Do I, as a person, deserve a happy love?

But...my hexagram.

Qian is on top and Qian is on the bottom, use Yao Jiusan, Qian hexagram.

The Red Luan Star really moved. How could it be? It seemed that there was no possibility of denial.

What do I like about him? I don't know. The hexagram doesn't tell me. I guess I have to find the answer myself. But I have already rejected him. Is there still a possibility between us? If I were him, he would probably hate me.

Although I would be happy to see him greet me every day via his cell phone...but is this what love is?

August 8098, 9, star calendar, sunny.

Today, I finally figured out what I was afraid of losing. I finally figured out the problem that had been bothering me for so long.

I'm afraid of losing my current relationship.

I don't want to go back to being the puppet that was manipulated by fate.

I want to try to live the life I want to live, not the life fate dictates.

Perhaps, my change should start from now, from here.

December 8098, 12 Star Calendar, cloudy.

Jingyuan told me that it was almost time to go to work. I don't know why, but I suddenly became lazy and didn't want to go.

Is it really because I haven’t worked for too long?

Deep down in my heart, I told myself that there was more to it than this answer. I felt like I had changed the meaning of moving forward. Why did I become a fortune teller? Was it for the people of Luofu? I thought I wasn't that kind. Was the life and death of most people really related to me?

I seem to be trying to...change my destiny.

After knowing that fate cannot be changed, the position of Taibu is just a means for me to exile myself. After all, dying of exhaustion in this position is a confirmation of the prophecy. Wanting to become a general seems to be just an attempt to repay the debt owed by my incompetent past self.

After thinking through a lot of things, it seems that I no longer want to be a general, and I even don’t want to work that much anymore.

I should try to see it for myself.

At least, it seemed like there was something more important to do. More important than the general position.